Everly lay on Zach's couch for the second time that week, a blanket draped over her. The room was dim, and Zach had went to take a shower. The rest of the house was completely silent. Zach had told her that the rest of the family was out of town because his mom had to go do something and he had begged off from the trip, saying he was tired and wanted to stay home.
She lay still, listening to the sound of the water from inside the bathroom. She felt restless and she had nothing to distract her from the pain. So she dug out her phone and logged onto her anonymous Instagram account. It was devoid of any messages from Tyler. She felt slightly disappointed but she typed in a message for him anyway.
@panicatthebookstore: hi tyler. i have lots of things to tell you. text me when you can.
She sighed and shut off her phone but as soon as she did, her phone beeped with a message. She unlocked her phone.
@notofflinee: you alright? what's up?
@panicatthebookstore: you know my shitty parents?
@notofflinee: yeah. what about them? did they hurt you again or something?
@panicatthebookstore: yes. it was too much for me to handle so i might've run away from home
@notofflinee: oh wow
@notofflinee: honestly if i were you i would've done the same
@notofflinee: what happened? did they find out?
@panicatthebookstore: no. they probably won't care I'm gone though
@notofflinee: where are u now? are you gonna live on the streets or something?
@panicatthebookstore: of course not. and fyi im staying over at my friend's house for a while. idk what I'm gonna do though. i feel bad for bothering him but he insisted on letting me stay. but i can't stay here forever.
@notoffline: who knows? i mean if he's your friend he cares about you. and if he cares about you, he'll help you figure something out
@panicatthebookstore: maybe.
@panicatthebookstore: listen, i have to go. im really tired and i need some sleep. i'll talk to you tomorrow. bye. thanks for everything (:
@notofflinee: anything for you everly.
Just then, the bathroom door swung open and Zach came into the room in his pyjamas, some sweatpants and a sweater. His hair was damp and ruffled and his eyes looked tired. But when he saw her sitting up on the couch, he smiled at her. "Are you alright?"
Everly shrugged. "Sure, I guess."
"Does it still hurt?" Zach asked in a hushed voice. Everly nodded. "I'm fine. It'll go away," she said, but she knew even that was a lie.
"Look, I know you're really tired and all, but I need you to explain what's going on. Everything. From the start. I wanna help you," Zach said, and he seemed genuine.
Everly drew a deep breath. "Okay." She had no idea why she was agreeing. But it just felt right. Her gut told her he could be trusted, and she always listened to her gut. Maybe if she told him now, it would be easier for her to explain to Ariana and Isabel. So she started telling him everything.
"They didn't want to have me. My mom and dad. They were young and dumb and they weren't ready. But the time they found out my mom was pregnant, it was too late. So basically, I was an accident," Everly begun.
"My dad was an alcoholic. He still is. And my mom...She was just normal, I suppose. She didn't do drugs or smoke or drink or anything. But she was a shitty person," She laughed mirthlessly, shaking her head.
"They were only teenagers when it happened. When they had me. And they didn't really love each other. They thought so, but they hadn't figured anything out yet. The second they had me, they couldn't be reckless and happy-go-lucky anymore. The pressure made them crack, and they started hating each other, but not as much as they hated me. To them, I ruined their lives," Everly said bitterly.
"They blamed it all on me. So they gave me hell. My dad would beat me up constantly even when I was young. My mom...She wasn't much better. She neglected me, starved me, all that. I didn't get any love, and I desperately needed it. I craved it, even from a young age," Everly continued. Zach was transfixed, looking horrified and sad and shocked at the same time.
Everly took a shaky breath. This next part? She didn't know if she could tell him. But she did anyway. She had already started. She might as well go on.
"Because of that, I got myself a boyfriend. His name was Justin. At first, I was happy. It was everything I ever wanted. He gave me the attention I needed and showered me with the love I craved so badly. But it wasn't really love, I soon came to find. He was using me. I would have to do things for him that I would never normally do so that he could be happy. And I wanted him to be happy, because if I didn't...It would turn out bad," Everly said softly.
"He would beat me up and scream at me and he would say awful, awful things. He would cheat on me, constantly bringing home other girls and he didn't even try and hide it from me because he knew that I was weak. He knew he could use me. I didn't leave him and I didn't speak up, because I was terrified of him, but also because I needed the love. I needed it so badly it hurt. So I went along with it," Everly said before chuckling coldly.
"Justin was...a douchebag. He was so manipulative and horrible. He used his looks against me because he knew I was weak and I needed somebody, and he knew I would fall for him. He didn't care about me, or any of the girls he claimed to love. He just kind of...used us for fun I guess."
"I was blinded. He was a disgusting person. He was so rude and mean and he disrespected and used everybody. He didn't care about manners or respect or kindness. He was just cocky and stuck up. Back then, I didn't care. I just wanted somebody to love me. So I ignored his ways. That was probably the dumbest thing I have ever done," Everly said, a definite edge in her voice.
"That was why I hated you, Zach," She said quietly, her voice trembling. Zach's mouth fell open. "W-what-?" He stammered.
"It's okay, Zach. Let me explain. The way you acted in school was how he used to act. And I hated him. You reminded me so badly of him and he hurt me a lot. And I-I judged you immediately because of that. Just because of Justin. That was why I hated you," Everly said, tears welling in her eyes. "I'm sorry, Zach. I shouldn't have done that. It was—I was stupid for doing that," She whispered.
Zach didn't look outraged, like Everly expected. He looked slightly hurt but there was an expression of understanding on his face. "Don't cry, Everly. I understand. I was—You're right. I do act like a bad person. I'm so sorry-" His voice wavered and Everly felt terrified. She wouldn't know what to do if he cried in front of her. If someone cried, she would cry too and both of them didn't exactly need that.
"Zach, it's okay. I know you're not like that. You don't act like that when you're out of school. Can I ask why?" Everly said softly.
Zach shook his head firmly. "That's a story for another time, Everly. Right now we're talking about you."
Reluctantly, Everly nodded. "Then, what happened?" Zach prompted.
"That's honestly about it. Everyday was hell with them and I had to put up with it until I ran away tonight," Everly said.
Zach frowned. "Then what happened to that ex of yours? Justin?"
Everly shrugged. "I wouldn't know. We dated when I still lived in Pennsylvania. Then immediately after we broke up, I came here to Texas. I don't know what he's doing now."
They sat there a while longer in silence until Zach turned to look at his phone. "Hey, it's like one in the morning. We should probably go to bed," He told Everly and she nodded faintly. She was indeed exhausted from the day's events. Zach also looked like he was going to drop off to sleep anytime soon.
She climbed into the couch and pulled the blanket over herself. She was already drowsy and her eyelids were growing heavy. "Goodnight, Zach. Thank you for everything," she mumbled, drifting away into unconsciousness.
Her eyes fluttered shut. "Goodnight, Everly. Anything for you."