#PTG32 Chapter 32
Days rolled in. At habang parami nang parami ang araw na lumipas, pabigat nang pabigat ang pakiramdam ko. Ilang ulit kong sinubukan na alalahanin ang mga nangyari, pero palagi akong bigo. And it was starting to scare me... I didn't want Jax to lose his license for me. I wouldn't let him.
I... I didn't suffer all these years for nothing. I wouldn't let all the pain I felt be for nothing.
I played with the cuffs around my wrist as I waited. May mga pulis sa gilid ko. Iniisip ba nila na kaya ko pang tumakbo? I felt weak. Not only on the inside, but physically as well.
"Are you ready?" Cha asked as we were waiting for the arraignment to begin. Tama nga siya. Masyadong mabilis. I didn't know if I should be thankful for the speedy justice... but this just felt wrong. It felt like everything was being... rushed. Almost felt like someone's controlling the game.
I nodded, lying straight at her face. Ilang gabi akong hindi maka-tulog dahil tuwing ipipikit ko ang mga mata ko, paulit-ulit kong naaalala ang mukha ni Kier... Iyong mukha niya... Iyong dugo... Pakiramdam ko ay tuluyan na akong tatakasan ng bait.
"Good. I know that this will be hard, but you just have to follow everything we told you. You're innocent, Katherine. You just have to believe that," she reminded me.
Pilit akong ngumiti. "Thank you, Cha..." sabi ko sa kanya. "I know we weren't exactly best friends back in law school, but you're still here."
Ibinalik niya iyong ngiti sa akin. Ngayon, naiintindihan ko na kung bakit silang dalawa ni Iñigo. She's so strong. And stubborn. And opinionated. She's the kind of woman men fear. Because she's too much work, too much to handle. But I always knew that Iñigo would end up with someone who'd make him work his ass off.
"You're welcome, but save those words when you're acquitted."
Cha continued to prepare me for the arraignment. Hindi ko pa rin nakikita si Jax. Hindi ko magawang magtanong. Gusto kong ituon ang atensyon ko para sa mangyayari mamaya. Paulit-ulit sinasabi sa akin ni Cha na 'wag kong papabayaan na maka-pasok sa isip ko si Iñigo. Na 'wag kong hahayaan na siya ang gumawa ng kwento para sa akin.
That I was the victim.
And I shouldn't let them terrorize me into being the assailant.
"Iñigo... that bastard will confuse you into tell the side of the story that he wants you to tell," Cha said. "Katherine, now's not the time to look amused."
Pilit kong inialis iyong ngiti sa mukha ko. "I'm sorry. I just still can't believe that you ended up with him."
She rolled her eyes. "When you're out of here, I'll tell you everything you want to know. But for now, please focus. Malapit nang magsimula. We can't mess this up. Although Jax is working really hard for you, I'm afraid that the devil is working harder."
Tumango ako. Tama siya. Dapat kong tatagan ang loob ko.
Ilang minuto pa ang lumipas. Pinakinggan kong mabuti ang bawat bilin sa akin ni Cha. Na kailangan kong iwasan sa mga mata ang mga magulang ni Kier... Na 'wag akong makaramdam ng takot dahil wala akong ginawang masama...
They said that there's no way I could've done it. I was still feeling the shock from having my head banged against the bathtub. There's no way I could've walked all the way down to the kitchen para lang kumuha ng kutsilyo. We needed to hold on to that fact. We just needed to plant a doubt in the mind of the judge.
"Jax—" tawag ko nang makita ko siyang maka-balik. Seryoso ang mukha niya. Masyadong seryoso. Mabilis na tumayo si Cha para lumapit sa kanya. They were standing from a distance. Wala akong marinig. Ngunit nagsimula akong muling kabahan dahil sa ekspresyon sa kanilang mga mukha.
Hindi ko inialis ang tingin ko sa kanila. Tahimik ang naghintay hanggang sa muli nila akong balikan.
"It's starting," Cha said. "I'll go first."
Hindi ko alam kung bakit, pero iniwan niya ako kasama si Jax. Naka-tayo si Jax sa harapan ko, malalim ang tingin. Nagsimula akong kabahan, pero pilit na iniaalis ko iyon sa dibdib ko. I needed to calm down. I needed this to be okay... Jax was working hard for me... the least I could do was to calm down and tell the truth.
I didn't do it.
They said there's no way I could've done it.
"Katherine," tawag niya sa pangalan ko. At parang magic, biglang nagdahan-dahan ang tibok ng puso ko. Tinignan ko ang mga mata niya. Doon ako humugot ng lakas ng loob para sa lahat ng mga mangyayari.
"Saan ka nanggaling?" I asked.
"Iñigo," he merely responded.
"Why?"
He didn't respond immediately. I knew it was bad.
"Better you not know all the details," he replied. "You don't have to talk to the family."
I nodded. I... I never really liked them. They never really made me feel like I was a part of the family. I knew that they knew how their son was hurting me, yet I never heard them say a word.
It was true what they said. Devils start growing their horns at home.
"If he asks you, just answer directly. Don't let him coax you into giving the narration that he wants to build," Jax said.
Muli akong tumango. Hinawakan ko ang mga kamay ko. I could do this. I'd been through so much worse... This was nothing.
"And always remember... you're innocent. Never let them tell you otherwise," he continued.
I looked at him. I looked at him and let myself bask in the trust that he has for me.
Dahan-dahan ang bawat hakbang ko papasok sa korte. The court was closed for today's arraignment. Pero sa bawat mabagal na hakbang ay ang muling pagbilis ng tibok ng puso ko. Halos manginig ang mga kamay ko nang makita ng mismong mga mata ko kung sino ang nasa loob.
They're here.
They were all here.
"Breathe," Jax whispered when he saw panic cross in my eyes. "This will be over soon," he continued.
Hinigpitan ko ang hawak sa mga kamay ko. Halos matumba ako dahil ramdam na ramdam ko ang init ng titig sa akin ng pamilya ni Kier. Pilit kong pinigilan ang sarili ko na tignan sila. Alam ko na tuluyan akong kakainin ng takot kapag tinignan ko sila.
"All rise for the presence of Honorable Virgilio Marquez." Agad kaming napa-tayo lahat. Patuloy pa rin ako sa paghawak sa mga kamay ko. Patuloy pa rin ako sa paghigit ng hininga ko. I could feel their eyes on me... it was as if I got scorched with their stares.
"State your name," Judge Marquez ordered.
"Katherine Tyrese Ramirez, Your Honor," sagot ko.
"You may be seated."
Lahat kami ay naupo. I bit my lower lip. I was told of my rights as the accused and I silently listened to all that. I just wanted this to all be over. Jax promised me that this would all be over soon.
"Do you understand all your rights, Mrs. Ramirez?" Judge asked.
I stood up, and nodded. "Yes, Your Honor."
"Read the complaint," Judge Marquez ordered.
The clerk stood up, and read the complaint. "For allegedly killing her spouse, Kieran Muller Ramirez, the accused was charged with the crime of parricide in a June 09, 2019 Information that reads:
"That on or about the 8th day of June, 2019, in the City of Batangas, Philippines and within the jurisdiction of this Honorable Court, the above-named accused, Katherine Tyrese Ramirez, did, then and there, willfully, unlawfully and feloniously and with evident premeditation, that is, having conceived and deliberated to kill her husband, Kieran Muller Ramirez, with whom she was united in lawful wedlock, armed with a kitchen knife, stab said Kieran Ramirez on the front portion of his body inflicting a fatal wound which caused his death, which incident happened inside the bedroom of the house they are staying."
Agad na nanlaki ang mga mata ko. With evident premeditation?!
"How do you plead?" Judge asked.
Jax looked at me and nodded as if he was trying to convince me that everything was all right. But it was not. They just said that I planned to kill Kier! I didn't practice law, but I knew that they were trying to get me to jail for life. It wasn't pre-meditated! At most, it was reckless imprudence. I didn't plan it... Kung nagawa ko man, alam ko na hindi ko sinasadya...
Mabigat ang tingin ko kay Iñigo. I knew that this was just work for him... but this was my life he was messing with.
"Not guilty, Your Honor," I said, my voice barely audible from the drums of fear beating inside my chest.
Mabilis na tumayo si Jax. "I would like to request for a Bill of Particulars and to review the material evidence of the prosecution, Your Honor."
The Judge nodded. "Granted. Pre-trial date will be 15 days from now. Court adjourned," he said before standing up and leaving the court.
Halos hindi pa rin ako maka-galaw. Hindi pa rin maka-pasok sa isip ko iyong mga narinig ko... I knew that only if Iñigo did his job, he would know that there's no way I could've done it... My sentence could've only been prison correctional...
"Katherine," Jax called me. "Let's go."
Wala ako sa sariling tumayo. Maglalakad na sana kami palabas nang sabay-sabay kaming mapa-tigil. Naka-tayo sa harapan ko ang nanay ni Kier...
She wasn't saying anything. But her breathing alone made me feel all the anger she was directing at me.
"Ma—" Nathan said, holding her arm.
Nguniti hindi pa man siya natatapos magsalita ay agad akong nakaramdam ng hapdi sa aking pisngi.
"You will rot in jail. I will see to it that you will suffer until you beg to be killed!" she said, tears streaming down her eyes.
Agad na nangatal ang labi ko. Agad na nanlabo ang paningin ko.
"Ma—"
"You killed my son!" she shouted as Nathan and Justin began to restrain her. Pilit niya akong inaabot. Hindi ako maka-galaw. Hindi ako gumagalaw. Kung ang saktan ako ang paraan para gumaan ang loob niya kahit kaunti, gusto kong saktan niya ako...
Nang mamatay ang baby ko, akala ko mamamatay na ako sa sakit... Hindi ko mabilang kung ilang gabi akong tahimik na umiyak... Ni hindi ko masimulang maisip kung gaano kasakit para sa kanya na mawala si Kier...
Kier hurt me... but he was still somebody else's son.
A mother who forever lost his son.
Agad akong humakbang palapit. Gusto kong maabot niya ako. Gusto kong masaktan niya ako. Kung iyon lang ang paraan para mabawasan iyong sakit na nararamdaman niya, ayos lang sa akin. Tutal, wala na rin naman akong maramdaman... Para na akong manhid.
"I told him not to marry you! I knew you were bad for him! The first time I saw you, you were a disgrace to your family!" sigaw niya habang hinahatak ang buhok ko. Tahimik kong tinanggap lahat. Sana... Sana mabawasan nito iyong sakit...
Nang maramdaman kong pumutok ang labi ko ay saka lang ako tuluyang nahatak ni Jax. Walang pulis na pumigil... Tahimik silang nanood. Na para bang planado ang mangyayari.
"I'm sorry..." tahimik kong bulong habang naka-tingin sa kanya.
Her chest was heaving in anger. Pinahid niya iyong luha. "You took my son... I will move heaven and earth to see that you feel the pain you made me suffer."