I stand at my locker nervously. It's my first day back at school since my grandma's funeral. I showed up to school late and haven't seen any of my friends at all. The last bell has gone and I'm ready to head home.
I need a drink. Just something to settle my nerves. When I was younger, I never understood why Angel or my father drank so much - it seems to become more apparent as time goes by.
Suddenly I feel someone breathing down my neck. I take a deep breath before snapping my head in their direction.
"Hey" a familiar voice greets. "How are you?"
She sounds sympathetic despite not actually knowing what happened. I haven't seen any of my friends for a few days, they've been messaging me but I don't respond. I've only seen Duncan once or twice.
I face the girl before redirecting my gaze to my locker. I take my books and laptop, ready for the first period. My heart beats faster when I look back over to my friend.
She looks worried, god I hate that. I hate being the centre of everybody's lives, especially Hayden's. I've known Hayden the longest outta them all, therefore I kinda care about her judgement the most.
"Fine" I assure.
"you look like shit" Hayden sighs, forcing a small smile.
"Thanks" I roll my eyes, mirroring her expression.
"So you wanna tell us where the fuck you've been?" Tyler asks as approaching Hayden and I, with Jess beside him.
Straight to the point huh. Well, that's Jess for you.
"First, you feed us all that crap before the summer about how we all gotta show up every day or else risk not graduating" Jess folds her arms, "then you take days off at a time"
I gulp as my heart beats faster and my hands begin to shake. I don't know why I'm not open with my friends. These people would die for me - Duncan has proven that.
"Yeah" I nod "I did"
"Why?" Tyler asks hesitantly.
"Just some stuff going on with my family" I look down at my shoes.
I can't tell them. Any of them. For the exact same reasons that I can't tell them about his abuse. Being vulnerable with people is so damn hard for me - I don't know why. I know it's not a big deal, I mean, everyone loses somebody at some point right? It just seems to me, I've lost more people than anyone ever should.
"Hey, I found my jacket" Duncan cheers as approaching us with a bright grin, "what did I miss?"
He was so full of energy, so excited, he always is. It strange to think that it was so long ago that he tried to take his own life out of fear of Jimmy.
"Jason was just filling us in on where he's been" Tyler nods.
"Right" Duncan nods with an awkward smile.
Duncan knows exactly where I've been. I can't explain why its easy for me to talk to him over everyone else. I guess because he's so transparent with me, it makes it merely impossible not to be back.
"You never told us how your date when with the new girl" Hayden smirks at Duncan.
"Oh, that" he scratches the back of his neck in slight embarrassment. "Yeah...good"
"Spill" Jess raises a brow as placing her hands on her hips.
"I saw it as a date....." Duncan starts slowly.
"But?" Tyler raises a brow.
"But...she's didn't" Duncan sighs, "she saw it as...new school, let's meet new people...kinda thing"
"Oh, poor Duncan" Hayden laughs.
"It's not funny" he furrows his brows.
I shake my head, I can't help me but smirk slightly. What an Idiot. He should know better.
"You know what guys" Hayden begins, "I've actually got somewhere to be"
"Is that so" Tyler folds his arms.
Where does she gotta be? Well besides home.
"Yeah it is actually," Hayden responds to Tyler, "see you guys tomorrow," she says before fleeing.
"Suspicious much" Jess narrows her eyes.
Very.
"You know what...I just remembered... I've gotta a thing" I begin as walking down the hallway, following Hayden.
She's been acting odd lately. I haven't really noticed by that's what Duncan reckons. So, I follow her through the school, and to the science area. I enter the hallway when I hear a deep voice from behind me.
"Mr Sanders," he says.
I turn around and sigh, knowing exactly who is behind me. "Mr Jacobs" I greet the principal.
"I'm glad you're still here" Mr Jacobs folds his caramel toned arms, "can you follow me, please?"
I scratch the back of my head. "I'm actually in a hurry so can we do this here" I admit.
"Suit yourself" he nods, "witnesses say that they saw you assault Jackson Fuller in the halls last week"
Uhh, he's referring to my birthday when I shoved Jackson into a locker. That alone could give me a suspension. I'm above lies but I need to get out of this.
"Assault?" I raise a brow, chuckling without humour "no Sir"
Mr Jacobs narrows his eyes. "So you didn't shove him against a wall and wrap your hands around his neck?"
Firstly, It was the locker if my memories serve me correctly. Secondly, I pressed my forearm against his neck not my hands.
"No Sir" I shake my head.
"Did you lay a finger on Mr Fuller?" He asks me firmly. I don't answer, instead, I just clench my jaw. I would like to see you in my office...tomorrow at eight o'clock," he says before fleeing.
Damn it.
I continue walking down the hallway before walking through the double doors. I enter the schools parking lot where I search for my car with my keys in my hands.
I look up to see a familiar face. "You still here?" Hayden questions.
Where did she go? Did she forget something in Glimmers class? Why else would she be in the science wing?
"Jacobs wanted a word with me" I explain.
"What did he want?" She folds her arms.
"Nothing" I shake my head "Did you do...whatever it was you had to do?"
"Yeah" she nods "I did"
She acts as if she is studying me, but see, I'm studying her every move. We both know what the other is doing.
"Well, I mine as well give you a ride, right?" I suggest. She nods as we slowly enter my car. "Is there something you wanna tell me?" I ask her.
"I was just about to ask you the same thing," I snap back.
I find it odd, that's all. If I wasn't stopped by Jacobs, I'd know what's going on with her. I guess that's why I trust Duncan over the rest of these guys. They're all just as secretive as I am, which scares the shit out of me.
Once I drop her off, I head straight home. I exit my car and head inside to find dinner on the stove. Meatloaf with a side of garden salad.
"Angel and Sam went back today," a voice announces from the distance.
I turn around to see Aunt Laura walking towards me in her pyjama bottoms and a grey t-shirt. She looks tired, which I know isn't something that I'm supposed to say to or about any girl.
"Are you okay?" I soften my gaze.
"Yeah, I'll be fine" Aunt Laura nods, assuring me. "Don't you worry, sweetheart" she kisses my cheeks before beginning to plate the meatloaf.
She's not used to losing people. It's a new thing that she's been forced to adjust to. She doesn't have the life experience like I do, that gives me the urge to help her.