The days that slipped by after that passed in an uneventful blur.
Loki and I frequently took walks, at least one a day, but they were always quiet and boring. Though I knew they helped to strengthen any bond or relationship between us.
I knew I spent more time with him than I did with anyone else these days.
Still, despite that, Loki refused to tell me anything. I understood this, now. I tried not to bring up anything about the deadline that was less than three weeks away, or what was at risk. My job, our relationship, Loki's safety. I knew that Fury would transfer Loki to someone who would likely try to torture the information about of him, which I was very much not happy with.
But, as soon as I realized that there were only twenty days until Christmas, I knew I had to at least come up with a plan, bring up what was at risk. Do something.
"Loki," I said. We were talking a short walk around the block, down the street from my house. My hands were jammed in my pockets. It was freezing outside.
He glanced at me and raised an eyebrow.
"There are less than three weeks until Christmas. And...if you're not going to tell me what happened to you, I'm going to have to lie because I just...can't live with myself if Fury transferred you to someone else. I don't know what they would do to you, but I know they wouldn't show any mercy for someone like...like you."
I saw Loki's eyes flare when I mentioned the deadline. He scoffed when I finished and said, "I'm sure you would be fine without me. And vise versa." That made me flinch.
I wasn't sure what to say. "Yes...but I wouldn't be fine if I thought I could stop something bad from happening." It was true. I could live without Loki. Despite how much time I spent with him, I knew what he did in the past. I knew he was a murderer, a liar, and I had lived quite happily without him before. Still. If could prevent whatever tortures Fury would assemble, why would I not try?
"Oh, how kind." Loki said sarcastically. I rolled my eyes. I hated when he was being sarcastic, because it was sometimes so hard to tell if he was actually joking or not.
"Yes, well, I've got red in my ledger. I'd like to wipe it out." He glanced at me, clearly recognizing my words. I had said it the first time we talked, back when he had first arrived on Earth. Though it had backfired on me in turn because at the time, he was turning all of my words against me in an attempt to get under my skin. So much had changed in the time between then and now. "What better way to do that then help someone? Even if that someone is you..."
He chuckled and began to speak softly, "I see where you're coming from. But...I don't want you to lie for me." I glanced at him in surprise. For the god of lies and mischeif, I thought he would be inclined toward doing my plan. "You said it yourself. Since I arrived in your life, everything has been going downhill for you." I blinked sadly, remembering my words. I didn't really think he would take them to heart.
"So...what do you think we should do?" If my plan wasn't good enough...what did he have in mind?
Loki stopped walking and I did, too. I faced him as a nervous smile grew on his face. "I think I should suck it up and tell you what happened to me."
And so, twenty minutes later, we were walking into Loki's bedroom. I watched as he walked over to the closet and pulled out a simple gray t-shirt. He began taking off his other shirt and I straightened up and blushed. "W-what are you doing?"
"Changing." He turned toward me and smirked at my expression. He indicated the discarded shirt. "I quite like that shirt, and I wouldn't want to ruin it." I was staring at his bare, sculpted chest with my lips parted slightly. I felt warmth creep up with neck and into my cheeks. I met his gaze as evenly as I could while he pulled on the t-shirt. He then went into the bathroom and soaked a few towels with water.
"This seems to work on the wounds, so..."
"Loki, I don't know if I'm comfortable with this. You said so yourself. You could die. How is this any better than Fury transferring you? It's just as painful, if not more s-"
"Because this is my choice." Loki interrupted quietly. "I'm fine with this. Really."
He didn't sound fine. He sounded scared. I felt a wave of guilt wash over me. I didn't want to do this. So that's what I said. "I don't want to do this."
Loki rolled his eyes. "You're not doing anything. Just sit there and listen." He patted the spot next to him on the bed and that's when I noticed that his hands were shaking.
I thought I wanted this is what I wanted. To keep my job, to make Fury proud. But I was quickly realizing I didn't. For the same reason I didn't want to torture the information out of him. I felt sick.
Once I was sitting on the bed, Loki told me to give him a second. He walked out of his room and into the kitchen. He returned holding a book.
I furrowed my eyebrows. It was the book about Norse Mythology, the one where he wrote on every page...except one. My stomach felt like I was falling into never ending void. I felt so sick.
He opened the book and turned to a page. To my surprise, I saw that he hadn't flipped to the page on Sigyn. I let out an involuntary sigh of relief.
The relief washed away instantly. Loki had flipped to a page with the picture of a person that wasn't quite normal. They had long, blonde hair and pale white skin. But their most distinctive features were their cloudy, all-white eyes and razor sharp teeth. My heart started to pound. I vividly recalled walking out of my room with Loki looking exactly like one of these creatures.
Demons of the nine realms was the title of the page. Underneath the picture of the creature was a subheading that read Anheng. I wasn't sure what that meant.
Under the title Anheng was several different pictures of necklaces with names. Brann, Luft, Havbølger, and Jord were a few of the names. I didn't know what those meant, either. They clearly weren't english names
On the next page, there was a large picture of a threatening black sword that radiated power through the page. The title read Hemmelighetsverden.
I glanced at Loki. He was staring at me, gauging my reaction. I was confused. Half of this wasn't even in english. Part of me was desperate for Loki to explain, but most of me was afraid of what would happen if he did.
The book was on both of our laps, but he moved it onto his and began to flip through the pages again. I wondered if he was going to flip the page about Sigyn. But why would he?
But, to my relief and disappointment, he ended up just closing the book and placing it on the bedside table.
Loki drew a staggered breath and began to speak. "When I got back to Asgard with Thor I talked with Odin. He took my power and my immortality and sent me to Midgard quite...violently." When I looked at him, confused, he elaborated. "I quite literally fell from the sky. I fell into the ocean. I was at least 200 feet in the air when I woke up. I passed out again before I hit the water. Odin wiping my immortality, draining my power, it completely deprived me of any energy I had."
Loki paused. He was obviously nervous about continuing. "So when I woke up again, I found myself completely surrounded by those demons in this huge room. There was no natural light at all. After a while, I found out we were under...water." He had flinched as he said the residing location of the creatures. I felt my heart give a small jolt at the first sign of his pain.
"Loki, you don't have to do this." I emphasized again. Loki shook his head and continued without another pause.
He briefly explained the demons, summarizing what he said was on the page in the book. That there was thousands of these creatures in every realm. Each group of creatures also had a pendant that they controlled, some of those were the names that were on the page Loki had showed me. Brann, Luft, Havbølger... and how most of the creatures had lost their pendants many, many years ago, leaving them all but powerless.
He talked slowly and carefully as he continued after describing the creatures. The story had not affected him much, though I could see that his face was getting paler and paler.
"They asked me to retrieve their..." He let out a breath of pain. "Pendant. It's called Havbølger, which means ocean waves. And I know exactly where to find it." He was clutching his abdomen now, and I could see blood, horrible black blood, seeping through his shirt and staining his hands and fingers. I couldn't help but lean forward in interest. Where was this pendent?
"It's in the hands of none other than-" He broke off with a groan. "Stark." He said through gritted teeth. "I was in a perfect place in SHIELD when I first arrived on Midgard. I was going to go to Stark tower, find the pendant, and be..." He paused. "Free. And then my idiot brother decided that it was too dangerous for me to be in the hands of Stark." He rolled his eyes and I squirmed uncomfortably. Loki sounded exactly like his old self in that moment. I felt uncertain if he had changed at all. I didn't know what to say.
I saw him swallow hard. "But then I was put in the hands of Thor, and that's when I realized I couldn't say anything about what happened it me. Because...when I was with the demons...one of the only things they did was stab me. With the Hemmelighetsverden." He closed his eyes and let out a whimper. I gasped, my mouth falling open in horror when I saw black veins creeping up his neck and onto his face.
I was scared to find out what his heart and chest looked like. He collapsed on the bed, laying his head on the pillows before continuing.
"The sword. The magic it contains. It causes horrible pain. Enough to...to kill the victim. It prevents them from giving up. Any. Secrets. That. They want. To be kept. Secret." His sentences were becoming choppy and breathy. He was breathing hard and clearly having a hard time talking.
"The magic. In the sword." He took a deep breath. "Can also...possess the victim. At least, according to- to the book."
It's hard to describe how horrible he looked at that moment. His normally handsome face looked sickly. He had large, dark circles under his eyes and his skin was a white sheet. His lips were a similar color, though they were more gray. He looked like a corpse, and his shirt was completely soaked in blood.
"Alright, alright." I butted in. "That's enough."
"But-" Loki began, looked at me, distressed.
I reached out my hand and covered his mouth so he could say no more. "I understand now. That's enough." His eyes searched mine, and eventually he gave a sigh and closed his eyes.
The veins that were traveling up his neck and onto his face did not seem to be getting any better. If anything, they seemed to be getting worse. Much worse. He was gritting his teeth hard to keep back a groan of pain.
I thought while I stared at Loki's form. What was more important right now? Him or telling Fury everything. If Loki had no plans to get this pendant for these creatures, then would they attack? How long would it be before they acted themselves?
"Loki." I said softly, shaking his shoulder. He didn't react. He appears to have passed out.
Heaving a sigh, I moved into the kitchen and grabbed the walkie I kept with me. Turning it on, I spoke into it with a rushed, desperate voice. "This is Agent Romanoff. I'm going to need a medical team and backup at..." I quickly gave my address and waited.
"This is Agent Markins. A medical team is on their way to your location. Over." I recognized the agent that had been one of the two first guards at my door. His voice was calming, and I was grateful that he didn't ask what was wrong. I put down the walkie on the counter and moved back to Loki's room where he was still lying on the bed. I swear, he looked worse than when I had left them.
I sat next to him on reached out my hand to touch his cheek. He didn't react.
I stared at his face. He looked so young and innocent. Without thinking, I lazily let my hand travel slowly down his neck and to his chest. Only when he flinched when my hand touched near his wound did I pull away, horrified with my casual intimacy.
Chewing the inside of my cheek, I grabbed one of the towels and pressed it against his wound.
After a minute of just staring at Loki, I heard my front door open. The medical team had arrived.