I shoot my eyes open to find myself laying in my bed with my cell phone sitting beside shoulder. My eyes widen in surprise as my cell phone reads seven o'clock.
"Shit" I cry as jumping out of bed.
I run down the staircase to find a single mug filled with coffee on the counter and a dirty mug in the sink.
I beside my coffee there's a sheet of paper that reads 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEETHEART! Sorry, I had to leave early this morning, I'll see you when I get home'
A smile spread across my face as I guzzle down my coffee - I'm eighteen years old today.
***
I look down at my wristwatch as I walk down the hallway. My watch reads seven fifteen am, which means I fifteen minutes to get ready for homeroom and first period.
Today is Duncan's first day back at school since the accident. I'm nervous for him, despite the fact that things have calmed down.
When I arrive at my locker, I press my fingertips around the combination lock, quickly doing my combination. The door swing opens before I take my laptop bag and books for the first period.
I turn my head, to see Duncan approaching Hayden in the distance. The bell doesn't go till seven thirty, meaning that Hayden is early.
She jumps in surprise after shutting her locker door.
"shit did someone die!" Duncan cries genuinely concerned.
"What?" She furrows my brows whilst glaring at the guy, dressed in denim jeans and a grey T-shirt.
"You're here early," he says surprised.
"No Duncan no one died" Hayden rolls her eyes as they begin walking towards me. "My parents thought it'd be a great idea to wake me up at five am"
"Gee that's rough...I mean I was laying in a hospital bed-" Duncan reminds her.
"Shut up" she rolls her eyes causing Duncan to laugh.
"Hey what are you doing here so early?" Jess asks as approaching them.
"Did something happen?" Tyler furrows his brows.
"It's not that big of a shock is it?" Hayden cocks a brow as I approach the group.
"You're here early" I fold my arms.
"Ugh," she rolls her eyes.
I haven't heard my own voice since in a while. With everything going on with Duncan, I haven't felt like talking.
None of my friends besides Duncan knows it's my birthday. I guess I hate being the centre of attention. Duncan only knows because, in homeroom, all our birthdays are stuck to the wall on coloured pieces of paper.
"Whose that?" Duncan looks across the hallway to a girl, who stands around the lockers.
"New blood," Jess announces "today is her first day"
We've got a new kid? Lockwood high rarely ever gets new kids. The kids here started freshman year then leave when they graduate. Most new students end up at Riverside.
"How do you know that?" Tyler asks.
"She's in my English class...Mr Johnson made a huge announcement about it on Friday" she explains to him.
"She won't last a week" Tyler smirks.
"What do we got first up?" Hayden looks over to me.
I take a second to think about it. "Calculus," I answer.
"Eww" Duncan reacts.
Suddenly the bell rings. Thank God. Hayden and I begin walking towards our class. Once we make it inside, Hayden and I take a seat towards the back - as per usual.
"Hey" Hayden nudges my arm from beside me. "Check it out" she points to the girl from earlier, who sits at the front of the class.
Why is everyone so fascinated by new students? I don't get it.
Once Mr Samuels enters the room, I pull out my notebooks. Whilst Hayden daydreamed from beside me, as per usual.
***
I had Chemistry, just before lunch. When the bell rings, I make my way to my locker, where the sound of whispering fills my ears, but I just choose to ignore it.
What other choice do I have?
I make my way to the cafeteria, holding my water bottle in my right hand, quickly tapping it again my right leg. I'm impatient.
I walk quickly through the cafeteria, to our usual table, where I stand with folded arms in confusion. The new girl is sitting at my table. No one besides one of my friends has sat at that table since I transferred here.
She looks up at with widening eyes and a slightly open mouth. She was scared. Scared of me. I hate that look she's giving me. It's the same look that I used to give my father.
Suddenly I feel breathing down my neck.
"Well, what do we have here..." Tyler starts from behind me, causing the new girl to jump up in fear.
Tyler is a tall intimidating guy. He loves messing with people. That's his worst quality. I'll never understand how someone could possibly feel better by terrifying another person. It angers me. But I guess I've had some bad experiences with people like that.
I hear whispering from behind me, as Hayden, Duncan, and Jess join us.
"I....uh...." The girl starts by picking up her tray and struggling to stand up.
"What going on?" Jess whispers to Tyler.
"New girl's toast" he snickers.
"What the matter? Cat got your tongue?" Duncan laughs.
She couldn't speak. She was that afraid of us. Afraid of me. Why?
"I'm....sorry" she struggles to say before vanishing.
They burst out laughing. I don't find it humorous, at all. In fact, I find it troubling. The girl was so innocent, like a child. How could she be that afraid, she didn't even know us.
Duncan begins tugging my arm whilst screaming something. "Can we keep her" he begs me as the group take a seat around our table.
Everything around me goes quiet as I stand there perfectly still in shock. My heart begins to beat faster whilst my chest tightens. My body starts to overheat it seems as the feeling of nausea takes over. I'm going to be sick.
She looked at me like I looked at my dad. She looked at me like I'm the devil or worse perhaps. I can't comprehend why. Why was she so afraid? Maybe that's who I am, a monster just like him.
"Jason" Hayden calls.
I turn to face her. She looks at me in concern. I feel unsteady as I stood there. Maybe I am a monster just like him. After all, I am the reason why Duncan is in this mess, with me.
My initial instinct is to walk away, to go somewhere far away. I need to get outta here. But instead, I take a seat around the table beside Hayden, to avoid making a scene.
I can feel my legs shaking from under the table.
Calm down, Jason. You're okay.
It becomes harder and harder for me to breathe as my heart beats faster and the chest pains grew stronger.
I need air. I need air.
I look around to my friends. They were still laughing as Hayden begins daydreaming.
You're okay Jason. Calm down. No one noticed. They never do.
"Now if you will excuse me, natures calling" Duncan laughs as standing up.
I struggle to speak. I stand up despite the struggle and gulp as the beads of sweat begin dropping from my forehead.
"Same" I struggle to say as I begin to follow Duncan through the cafeteria.
Maybe I'm a monster just like him. I shake off my thoughts as attempting to control my feelings. It felt like, I was being tormented by demons. This is what Angel has been feeling since our sister died.
"Happy Birthday by the way" Duncan smiles at me.
"Thanks" I shake my head.
"Gee you're unfit ain't ya" Duncan snickers as we make it to the restrooms.
I roll my eyes. Yeah, that's the reason, genius.
Whilst he took a shit in the cubicle, I splashed water on my face. I looked at my reflection in fear. I look tired. Like I haven't had a good night sleep in weeks.
Probably because I haven't.