MUKARRAM
I couldn't wait to get home before munching on the yummy finger licking cup cakes. They are by far the best I ever had.
"Do you need help with your ears? It seems they'll soon fall to the ground " Ahmad brought me out of the dream like haze I went into.
"Yah Rahman! Allow me this once to relish this peace will you? " I joined my hands in a manner showing desperation.
"I will if you let me take a bite " he grumbled and I split one into two halves and gave him one.
Chuckling at the absurdity of it all he says " I'll share mine with you dude. You don't have to be so stingy about it".
"And you don't have to be a beggar Since you have yours safely tucked away in the back seat " I countered.
Turning his serious face on he asked " are you going to tell her everything? "
I shook my head no" not yet Ahmad. Until whatever this is becomes serious and official then I'll have no choice than to tell her every single detail of the mess that is my life. She's young and innocent and I don't want to be the one to taint that"
"You have a point. I can't believe they let your step mom go free, there's no statute of limitation for murder no matter how long it takes "
Shaking my head in a duhh-like manner I said " Allah is the ultimate and best judge. If she escapes the law in this dunyah she can't escape death neither can she escape judgement day. I'm just scared for daddy, what if she tries to kill him too? "
"He is in Allah's protection by His will. Let's take one day at a time in shaa Allah everything will be back to normal" he consoled.
After the little reunion with my grandparents we went to kano the next day with daddy and I met my maternal grandmother. The moment she sets eyes on me she invoke Allah's name thanking him because she saw the split imagine of her dead daughter. We talked at length about everything. We decided on handing Furera over to the police instead of taking matters into our own hands. Mamma and sheikh were so happy that I'm part of their family hence the reason why there will be a family gathering this weekend at Mamma's.
She asked me to move into her house to which I gladly obliged but waiting for my lease to be up before I do that. Ahmad and I spend most nights at Mamma's and it feels good to be part of them not only as a friend but family.
Ahmad dropped me off at sheikh's saying that he has an important business to attend to, that means he has a movie he want to watch. After classes sheikh told me how happy he is to know that am his grandson.
I hailed a cab and went to my house after informing Ahmad that I'll be staying the night there. I did my normal night routine before checking my phone to see a message from Tasneem saying thank you for the visit, hope you get there safely.
I replied : In one piece Alhamdulillah, the cupcakes made me forget my name for a moment there. I'll definitely make an order for more soon. Peach looks good on you.
She replied with don't flatter me Uncle Mukarram.
I'm just saying the truth. By the way I missed you all those weeks, like so much.
I almost gave up waiting for her reply when it came : I know. I do too. Have a good night may Allah be with you.
Woah! You just make me the happiest being right now. Good night Tasneem, may Allah be with you too.
**
The week goes by uneventfully. Tasneem and I only talked once after that night. Dad finally divorced Furera cutting her off everything that belongs to him. He suggested that I should come home and take over the family business which I declined politely saying I'm happy with my job and I want to make a niche for myself.
"Mamma invited your girl to come over this Saturday " Ahmad offered popping nuts into his mouth.
I raised a brow in question and he nodded in the affirmative.
"You do realize that you haven't uttered a single word since morning right?"
I shrugged " why does it matter? I have nothing to say "
He started fiddling with his phone.
"Hello there softy! Your man is seriously sick. He keeps calling your name so I thought you should comfort him"
I didn't hear what she said on the other line before he thrusts the phone on my ears.
"Assalamu Alaikum" came her sweet cool voice.
"Wa'alaikissalam how are you" my voice sounded husky even to me. Probably because I have been quite for long.
"Am fine Alhamdulillah. How's your health? Have you seen the doctor? " she sounded concerned which warms my heart.
"Calm down okay? I'm as fit as a fiddle. Ahmad is just being his childish self as usual "
She chuckled nervously, " okay then, bye. May Allah be with you " she says and cut the call. I want to hear her voice some more and talk to her all day.
I excused myself and went out to call her back with my phone. She picked at the 6th ring.
"Are you mad at me? " I blurted.
With a deep sigh she said no" I was just scared and glad at the same time and I don't want to say something embarrassing that's why "
Ohh lord... I love this girl.
"That's cute. Nothing you say or do will embarrass me In shaa Allah especially when you're showing affection towards me " I said in a voice slightly above whisper.
We talked for almost an hour until she tells me she has to get ready for school and we said goodbye albeit reluctantly.
"Can I call you later tonight? " I asked sounding desperate.
"Why not? " I imagined her raising her cute brows.
"Thank You " I almost tell her that I love her but caught myself in time. I want it to be special, something we both will never forget. Ahmad and everyone might be wrong that she cares about me too. Maybe she see's me as the brother she never have or someone she feels comfortable talking to and nothing more.
Something came up at work and I was so exhausted at night to even think about anything other than my bed which welcomed me with open arms making me fall into a deep dreamless sleep.
***
I was swamped with work for the next two days including traveling to Kano to bring my grandma. Everyone is excited about the family meeting even though it's exclusive except me. Mamma promised to keep the gory details of my life a secret from those that didn't know, saying the lesser the people privy to it the better.
Ahmad was expecting to see Maryam with Nana but she left her behind.
"She's probably still crying and sulking " Nana said while taking her lunch on a Friday afternoon.
"You should have brought her with you gaskiya. We miss her so much " Ahmad grumble glaring at his sister.
"Her dad said no! What do you want me to do? He thinks she will never go back if she comes and his hunch is right. There is no single day that she doesn't complain of being tired of staying with us"
"She practically grew up here Nana. And this house is empty without her. Let her come please" Ahmad pleaded. I always know that he misses Maryam a lot but never voice it out to him.
Mamma came out of her room towards the door "Talking like parrots as if you sat on your ears. The poor girl has been knocking for ages"
She opened the door to a tired looking Tasneem holding a big container.
"Sorry Tasneem, those three have gone deaf" Mamma apologized after they exchanged pleasantries.
She walked further into the house, greeted us and Nana asking after her Besty.
"She sends her regards Tasneem. I can see that you're doing so well "
She smiled shyly at that before excusing herself to meet Mamma in the kitchen.
They argued for a short while and then they came out, Tasneem with a triumphant smile on her face, Mamma with pride in her eyes.
"Aunty Hadiza said she's waiting for you tomorrow "she told Nana before saying goodbye. She didn't even spare me a glance.
"Do I need to tell you to take her home or what? " Mamma glared at us both.
"Don't worry Mamma, Uncle Farouk is waiting for me outside. I will bring the rest tomorrow in shaa Allah"
She's mad at me.
"I can't believe she returned the money " Mamma mused out loud.
"You're joking right? " Ahmad asked
incredously.
"I'm not. She insisted that it's the only way she will repay our kindness to her, that we are family and family don't pay a dime when it comes to business. I am just so sorry that she's going through so much at her age"
I sent her a message asking whether she's mad at me. I haven't received her reply all day long.
The wee hours of Saturday is spent helping mama and Nana to clean the house and adjusting the couches to make more space for the guests.
"You look grumpy everything okay? " Nana asked with a kind smile. I said no with a smile of my own.
We kept working until 9am when Tasneem came in looking tired and sleep deprived. She greeted us all with a tired voice before finally going into the kitchen with Nana. I heard Nana telling her to go and rest in Maryam's room to which she declined until after much persuasion from her.
"Don't wake up until I tell you to" Nana called out to her retreating figure.
I stood right outside Maryam's door hoping to speak with her but she pretended not to see me and I can't follow her into the room so I gave up hoping she will come down by the time she wakes up.
Everything was set to the T and the guests started arriving around twelve noon. Dad is still not here and his phone is unreachable. Sheikh and my grandma are here already with other unknown faces.
" Go and get ready Mukarram" Mamma said giving me the don't fret look.
I showered quickly wearing my new kaftan with cap to match. I spritzed oud wood all over and clasp my favorite wrist watch.
Ahmad said I look nervous and dashing just like a groom to which I gave a snort as a reply.
"Mukarram your dad is here" grandma called out and my heart leapt in joy.
The meeting started with a prayer before Mamma told us the reason why she called everyone is to introduce me to them as the long lost but found son of Amatullah who was the daughter of their sister.
Everyone shows a sign of elation and the conversation moved from light to heavy topics. Dad apologized to everyone for being negligent and uncaring towards me saying it is his biggest regret in life while sheikh told him that it wasn't his fault, it was qadr from Allah and a test. A lesson to learn from and move on, not something to fret on for the rest of his life.
"Forgive me Mukarram. It's the only way I'll find peace of mind please " Dad apologized and all eyes look expectantly at me.
"I forgive you dad, may Allah forgive us all" I said with a quivering voice. I am the person at the receiving end of everything that happened. Dad might just be negligent with his salaah and other things but I don't even pray, I spoiled so many lives, ruin them even. I didn't know my deen, didn't get closer to my Rabb even though he has blessed me with good health and wealth. He has given me the means to worship Him and earn His pleasure. Woe unto me and my heart that was so rotten it didn't see the light until after so many years.
I didn't even know I was crying out loud until Ahmad held my shoulders in a caring manner.
"Shhh it was in the past. Everything is fine now don't cry okay? " he consoled.
"Do you think I'm going to hell? Because Billahi I think I am" I whispered still crying.
"Never lose hope in Allah's rahmah. I can't tell you with certainty where you'll end up when you die but I know that our Lord is the most Merciful most forgiving and He knows what's in our hearts, what will happen and the repercussions, the exact day and time we will take our last breath"
"Come here" Grandma said and I moved closer to her. She put my head on her laps combing her hands through my hair affectionately.
"You have us and above all you have Allah. Even if we are not related we love you unconditionally and that's what family do, they love each other beyond everything" Mamma chipped in with a sad smile.
They all tried to encourage me and boost my confidence before we finally prayed zuhr together. Mamma and Nana served everyone.
After a while, everyone is almost done, Nana leapt up as if she has been pricked by a needle.
"Subhanallah! I forgot about Tasneem. Let me wake her up " she said walking through the corridor. I happen to be sitting in a position directly facing Maryam's room so I can see everything when the door is opened.
I saw her curled up in the bed like a cat with a pained expression on her face. Nana tapped her telling her it's almost past zuhr prayer time. She said something and Nana nodded in understanding before coming out. She took some pills from the drug cabinet in the dinning area and a bottle of water before going back to Maryam's room.
Tasneem sat upright and gulped down the drugs thanking Nana with a grateful smile before going back to her curled up position. Nana closed the door behind her and I feel like screaming.
"Is Tasneem okay? " Mamma asked with a voice laced with concerned.
"Yeah, she's going to be fine in shaa Allah. It's her TOM"
I almost asked what that is when Ahmad whispered into my ears" Girly stuff, don't ask I'll tell you later" he has the nerve to wink at me.
Everyone left after Asr leaving behind only us and my dad with grandma. We kept having light happy conversation and I feel content and happy that this people, this super warm and amazing people are my family whom I share the same blood with and they've got my back whenever, wherever.
Yah Allah! Forgive my sins and that of the ones whom I love. Keep us safe from all harm and bless us with a lasting peace and happiness till we turn back to you as Muslims by Your will. I prayed inaudibly.
Tasneem came out after Asr looking more haggard and sick. Mamma was by her side in a jiffy. She weakly greet Dad and grandma before crashing on the couch.
"Do you want coffee? " Nana asked and she nodded.
"Okay lie still I'm going to make it for you real fast" she ambulated towards the kitchen almost colliding with Mamma who held a cup of herbal tea in her hands.
"She don't need coffee. This will work in shaa Allah " Mamma said after steadying herself.
"Sannu yarinyah" Grandma condoled.
"May Allah grant you quick shifaa" Dad added and I feel dumb for not saying anything to her the moment she walked in.
"Finish it off then eat " Mamma said in a stern voice.
She weakly said she's full but Mamma will have none of that. Nana called Aunty Hadiza asking if there's any drug Tasneem is taking and she said no. They spoke for a while Nana listening with keen interest.
"How can you be so reckless with your health Tasneem? You know that you're sick yet you exert too much of your energy into making those snacks. You should have called to cancel on us. We Will understand" Nana chided softly.
" I am sorry I didn't want to disappoint you that's why" she replied weakly.
"You will never disappoint us Tasneem. You are sick and your health is at the apex of our priority and besides those snacks you brought yesterday would've been enough" Nana added looking at her with adoration just like Mamma did yesterday.
Tasneem didn't reply but continue to chew on her food oblivious of the look I was giving her. Ahmad cleared his throat for the umpteenth time and I ignored him. He sent me a text which I almost ignored saying your old man is looking at you ogling her like you're about to eat her up.
I immediately lowered my gaze feeling so shy I wished the ground will open up and swallow me.
"Hadiza is coming to pick you up " Nana said after Tasneem scraped her plate clean.
"Okay" she mumbled getting up with so much difficulty. Nana helped her walk to the room.
"You should've at least tell her sannu" Ahmad nudged me.
"Says the person who didn't say anything to her also" I nudged back with more force.
" I did, When you were busy ogling and drooling " he countered with a smirk.
"Really? " I feel ashamed of myself. Tasneem will never talk to me after this.
"What should I do? " I sound pathetic even to myself.
"It's your mess figure it out man"
We dropped grandma at her family house and dad at my house where we will spend the night together. We left him there saying that we are going to bring dinner when I only want to go back to meet Tasneem before she leaves.
Luckily for us Aunty Hadiza was in a deep conversation with Nana while Tasneem is still curled up on her favorite couch.
"Sannu ya jikin? " I blurted.
She just nodded and turned her face.
Okayyh... She's definitely mad at me.
Ahmad asked same to which she replied with Alhamdulillah. Maryam called and they talked for a few minutes in hush tone.
"Ouch" she cried out clutching her lower abdomen.
"I think we should go. See you tomorrow " Aunty Hadiza said helping Tasneem up. Ahmad and everyone wished her quick recovery and I stood there like a statue unable to say or do anything.
❤❤
Took me long enough to update, I know and I apologize. This week has been very busy but I still manage to type this not so good chapter.
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