AUTHOR
"we experimented on you for a reason, quit with all the angel act. you're wicked, and i don't understand why you're being soft to rindou, you know full well that you can end him in a minute. i'll give you ten minutes, that's plenty of time for you to reconsider your decision and to decide whether you want to die a slow painful death or come back to us willingly."
"i will." you paused, biting your lips. "not!"
ෆ
the moment you found out about kokonoi's condition was the moment everything went upside down. you'd always had some sort of weird sense of foreboding about it, and now there it was— right there in front of your very eyes. you were faced with a terrifying reality, and it didn't felt real. this wasn't something you could comprehend or process in any way, you couldn't find it within yourself to even blink an eye anymore. it was too much. you felt nauseated, like your stomach was twisting itself inside out and making you ill. your mind raced, wondering what was going on. it took you a second to get rid of this uncomfortable feeling of guilt and regret that was eating away at your insides but you managed to push it aside, for now. you needed to concentrate. it was all that was keeping you sane as you forced yourself not to faint on the spot. there were no words left inside your mouth, you couldn't speak properly. you were sorry about the white-haired male, really.
"it's hard to communicate with him, we tried to pointing alphabet letters for him to cooperate with us but he doesn't want to. he doesn't want help. and i don't think we should force ourselves to interact with him anymore, it might be more beneficial if we stop trying. either way, he needs space and time to heal." rindou's voice was monotone, almost emotionless, he sounded exhausted. you knew that he was trying his best not to cry in front of you and your friends, but he could barely hide the tears welling up inside his eyes. it was difficult.
all five of them stood behind him, arms crossed as they watched you with a somber and worried expression. "rindou, meet me in the rooftop. i'll head first." there was a pause before he nodded, letting you know that he understood your request.
walking around was still painful— legs still felt heavy and your whole body was sore and tired but it was better than feeling paralyzed. you could hardly believe that your life had just changed dramatically and without warning so suddenly. when you reached the roof, your hands automatically shot up to rub your palms as soon as the cold air nipped through your skin. without wasting any second, you gently leaned at the railings whilst staring at the ciry below. everything was quiet. the sky was clear and the sun was about to say its goodbye, illuminating your view. you closed your eyes, taking deep breathes to try and calm down your thoughts, your feelings, but nothing seemed to work. everything was so overwhelming and complicated and scary and confusing. you weren't sure how to feel anymore.
it wasn't that long before the door opened slowly, accompanied by a soft sigh. you turned your head, opening your eyes to find rindou standing next to you, arms crossed over his chest. despite the obvious tiredness and grief etched into his face, his hair looked nice with its short fringe and you couldn't help but stare at it. he was wearing casual clothes, just a black shirt that clung tightly against his muscles, which was a complete contrast from the formal attire he usually wore when it came to business negotiations. you couldn't help but notice that you never used to pay much attention to details like this, before. you liked seeing rindou in simple clothes — it suited him.
"what do you want to talk about?"
"just so you know, i've been noticing the facade that you put up since the beginning. you can cry in front of me, just let it all out. i won't judge you for anything." you responded quietly, turning your body to face him while resting your arms on the railing again. your fingers were shaking and the only thing that stopped your trembling was sheer willpower. "you don't have to do it, i'm not forcing you."
you felt rindou's presence close to you immediately and his hand rested on your upper arm. you stiffened slightly at the touch but relaxed once rindou started caressing your wrist, lightly moving his thumb across your skin. "i don't think i have any tears left, but if i did, i would definitely shed those." he replied calmly and softly, looking you directly in the eye. you noticed that he didn't move his hand away, so you kept it there. the warmth radiating off of his palm was soothing. he smelled faintly like vanilla, the scent comforting. it reminded you of summer nights and the sound of the waves hitting against the sandy shore. his skin was warm, and the slight contact sent tingling sensations throughout your entire body. you felt calmer and less stressed when holding his hand. "however, a lot of things are bothering me that i couldn't even sleep in peace. i can't stop thinking about everything, and i need answers." the sun had disappeared completely beneath the horizon now, darkness engulfing the sky and giving birth to a layer of stars. the moon shone brightly as well, casting a silvery light upon your two figures. it was silent. the city had calmed down considerably since noon, people having gone home and the street lights shining bright overhead. everything was peaceful.
you didn't expect such a direct response from him but you also felt that he needed to talk about whatever was weighing his heart down, regardless of how personal it may be. there were still questions lingering in your head, but they were drowned under the tsunami of other emotions. "if you could go back in time, what are you going to do?"
"save everyone from danger. i guess i'll save every single person that has ever been hurt because of my actions," there were traces of bitterness lingering in his voice but then they dissipated quickly as he continued. "including you... even if it means of leaving you alone." he spoke quietly, voice barely above a whisper but there was an undeniable determination that lingered in his tone as he added these last few words, making you tense momentarily.
you could tell that he was serious. however, he looked so vulnerable. he didn't seem as strong and confident as he normally was. it seemed like the pain of seeing his friend suffering had affected him deeply. you wondered how long he had hidden his own sadness behind a mask of indifference. the pain in his eyes when he had locked gazes with yours, made you feel guilty as your heart broke a little. it seemed like he was holding himself together with a thin layer of strength. "but friends never abandon each other."
"y/n, do you see me as your friend?"
"why else would i be here?" you asked, your brows furrowing in confusion.
"would it be too much if i said i wanted to save you from sanzu, from everything? that i want you to live a normal life with the others? would it be too selfish of me to ask you to love me instead? will it break me if you refuse? please... don't make me lose you... please, don't love someone else and be patient with me. just stay by my side." rindou sounded desperate, pleading, as he stared intently at you. gone was the sad, all that's left was surprise. there was so many thoughts running wild through your mind right now. it was difficult to choose one to focus on. you had always thought that you had feelings for him, but you never really allowed yourself to acknowledge them.
that was until now.
a part of you wanted to reject him immediately after hearing what he said, but another part of you wanted to give him hope and to prove him wrong somehow, even though all this was probably pointless and futile. the latter, in turn, was stronger. you sighed, closing your eyes and clenching your fist in frustration as you tried to think of a suitable answer. the problem is; it seemed like there was no right reply to it. everything seemed so complex. you were scared to upset him.
"i don't want to force you to decide something you already know the answer too, y/n. i don't want to be selfish and pressure you in case you're going to change your mind later."
the guilt that you felt towards him was overwhelming. you hated to admit it to him, but the only person who deserved better than this was him. you couldn't help but feel a bit disappointed though. were you really worth fighting a battle? were you worthy to be loved? you felt so lost. you were so overwhelmed by the amount of negative thoughts and the feeling of guilt that you didn't realise that the purple-haired male was already on its way back to the door. "i'm sorry." you called out as soon as he stepped outside again, stopping him in his tracks with your sudden outburst. "we shouldn't be together, but... maybe we can give it a chance. after all this mess, i want to go on a date with you. will you stay? if i told you everything about me? if i shared with you something that i haven't shared with anyone in years?" you felt as if you had finally found some courage in you to speak and look him straight in the eye. you held onto the railing as you waited anxiously for him to speak. you didn't know what reaction he might have. it was too hard to predict, too hard to tell.
"i'd follow you anywhere." he stated bluntly, a small smile playing on his lips. you smiled slightly as you watched his figure, wishing that he wouldn't leave just yet. it wasn't the answer that you had hoped to hear, but it was more than enough to make your heart swell. "i won't judge you from your past, even if it's your darkest secret. i accept you for who you are. i won't hate you for being the person you've become and for loving something different." for a split second, your heart pounded wildly inside your chest. you were falling, falling fast in this moment where you had lost control of your whole world, losing yourself somewhere deep within yourself. everything around you felt unreal and it terrified you, the idea of getting lost, lost without anybody guiding you, leading you forward. but it all faded eventually as you realised that you were simply being silly.
you couldn't deny the feelings growing in your chest right now, and you didn't try to. "when i was at a young age, i was labeled as valhalla's lab rat. they were cruel, but the head of the valhalla favoured me. he saw the potential in me and i knew that there was a possibility that i was going to die soon, but none of that happened. i managed to survive despite my circumstances, unlike most of my fellow subjects. they treated me differently and I learned that their intentions weren't good. it was a horrible place and every day was torture, especially during those years, when they forced me to watch the deaths of the innocents. the leader of valhalla gave me two choices, stay and suffer or run away. of course, i was a coward back then, so i chose to run away and hoped i'll never come across them ever again. but i didn't get very far because my twin sister happened to be dating sanzu..."
"i'm sorry," said the purple-haired.
"it's okay," you replied, your voice wavering. "when you guys killed my sister, i was there. i saw the destruction and the horror. the fear, the agony and anger filled my vision for days afterwards, i wasn't sane. my sanity was lost and my emotions took over everything. i wanted revenge, and i did find it. i got close to all of your base and gathered evidence that proved your crimes, but before i could finish, taiju sent me to the mental facility. he said it was to keep an eye on me since it looked like i was planning something. i had nobody to talk to, and i ended up staying there longer than i thought. three years, it took me three before i was finally free again. the first thing i did was to find bonten, i'll never forgive him for what he did."
"ah, that answers the question. i thought you dated the pinkette because you had some romantic feelings for him."
you slightly shaked your head, "i am not that dumb. moving on, i guess my planned worked when sanzu asked me to be his girlfriend. i accepted, but he never showed any interest in me aside from mistaking me as klei. wearing all pink clothes was just a ploy, i never liked the color in the first place, but my twin sister did— which is why i started to dress like her too, i wanted to get my revenge as soon as possible but i was too coward. i wanted to kill him, and ruin bonten. i wanted him to be miserable and scared for once. so many plans, and i couldn't bring myself to carry through. the plan b was to kill you after he assigned you to guard me, seems like i underestimated you."
"if it helps, i don't blame you for hating me."
"i thought of you very wrong, you were different from what the news announced. although i'm glad that you're not the kind of guy to harm innocent people, i'm still angry that you didn't show any signs of remorse for killing my sister. your actions, no matter whether you believed it or not, made me rethink some things. you weren't the bad guy people portrayed you guys as. you aren't perfect, but you weren't evil either." you felt ashamed of saying all of that, you breached all of your plan for him. you had expected to receive an apology and an offer to start over. you hadn't expected anything else, but still, something deep down inside you kept telling you to be nice to him, to show how grateful you were to him for giving you a chance to live.
"wait, what did you meant when you said you didn't got very far from valhalla? is there something we should be aware of?"
without hesitating, you nodded your head whilst your hand travelled from his hand, giving it a light squeeze. your gaze remained fixed on him as you continued to say, staring at his violet pupils as the zephyr gently blew against your face, caressing it with ease. you felt your body stiffening slightly while he slowly intertwined it together until both of your bodies were no longer far from each other, instead, your chest was pinned to his body. the silence lingered between the two of you, neither of you wanting to break it, as a soft breeze passed through you, rustling the leaves and brushing against your hair. the atmosphere changed drastically as he began to stare deeply into your eyes, watching the way his eyelashes fluttered against the pale skin of his cheek. "please do not tell the others what i'm about to say, i don't want them to know about this."
the purple-haired male nodded his head, allowing you to speak whilst your fingers curled upwards against his palm, holding onto them tightly, almost desperately. "i won't utter a single words."
"the head of the valhalla, it's mikey."
ෆ