Bell watches him wearily as they walk away from the dungeons. She doesn't even know where they're going but she follows him in silence nonetheless.
Eventually he glances at her and catches her eyes.
"I'm sure you're wondering why I called you" he starts, his voice tired.
"actually I'm trying to decide if you need medical assistance"
he looks ahead of him "I'm fine" he says then shakes his head softly "I shouldn't have called you"
"...then why did you?" she can't help but ask
"You can go Bell" he says and promptly walks away, leaving Bell frowning behind him.
What the hell was that? She's worried about him. He doesn't and didn't look fine. She almost falters... is it the headache again? She wants to go back and ask if he's really okay but she doesn't of course. She swallows her urge to turn around and continues walking farther away from him. Going back to him is never the right choice. Never. She has to believe that. She needs to believe that.
She walks in the institute and goes to see if there's any work she can do.
"What are you doing here?!" Someone asks and Bell turns around sharply, her heart beating fast from the sudden noise.
"I'm work-"
"The king has asked for you" the maid says
"I know I just came back-"
"he asked for you again"
Bell's browns furrow in confusion and she shakes her head "but I just-"
"Come now" she says "Now! you're late"
She starts walking but Bell doesn't follow after her. She stays rooted on place. First Katia, then Arthur and now her? How many times will she be taken off guard today.
"come!" she says
Bell almost rolls her eyes but she follows her. Honestly, she's getting annoyed. She's being moved around like a toy. Why the hell does Arthur want her now? She literally just came back from him and he had walked away, giving her a cold attitude. When they reach his room, Bell walks in with an annoyed look on her face. He's lying down on a couch when she walks in. He sits up, surprised.
"you asked for me?" she says, standing in front of him
he frowns "no I didn't"
The annoyance fades instantly and fear takes over. She falters, looking alarmed.
"but someone just asked me to come here..."
"who?" he asks
"I don't know... a maid or something..."
He smiles a cocky smile "if you wanted to see me, you can just say so. You don't have to come up with a story"
The alarm fades and is instantly replaced with annoyance again. She opens her mouth to snap something when a voice shocks them both
"I called for her"
Bell turns sharply around, looking at Katia. Bell's mouth drops opened slightly.
Arthur shoots from the couch, his body rigid and his face hard.
"give me one good reason why I shouldn't beat the crap out of you right now" he says slowly "and saying you're a woman is not a good enough reason"
"My family came up with this" she says, ignoring his threats "And can you blame them? They know you weren't going to marry me on your own-"
"Like hell I'm ever marrying you after this shit you just pulled-"
"you wouldn't have married me either way" she snaps
"So this is your idea of revenge? To get back at me?"
she shakes her head "I wouldn't do that to him"
"don't act like you care about him Katia" he says "drop the bullshit-"
"I love him" says Katia suddenly, making Arthur just stare at her.
"you've got to be kidding me" he says then suddenly moves towards her. Without even thinking about it, Bell's hands shoot forwards and she grabs him hard. Katia steps back sharply.
"Arthur don't" says Bell
"why?" he snaps "she ruins his life, throws him in prison and then has the audacity to stand in front of me and tell me that she loves him?!-"
"I do" she says "this was not my idea, I had no say in this-"
"I don't care!"
Bell tightens her grip on him "just give her a chance to explain-"
"I'm not listening to anything she has to say!" he shouts then turns to Katia
"why don't you have sex with me and then accuse me of rape?" he asks "maybe Bell can be the witness this time"
Bell sighs. He's so difficult.
"My family couldn't have come up with this on their own Arthur"
"what the hell are you talking about?" he snaps
"Getting rid of Luke is a political move and its goal isn't to get me on the throne"
Arthur stares at her for a long time then he straightens up. Bell removes her hands from him.
"it's meant to weaken me"
Bell blinks at them both, at their indifference. Is she the only one who's comprehending the severity of what they're saying? Someone is conspiring against Arthur.
"There's a serpent growing it's head in my court" he mutters, turning around and walking to the window.
"and it just landed a blow"
"who?"
"I don't know" she says "but there's a war coming your way and I don't want to be here when it does"
Bell tenses.
"there are always wars coming my way"
"But this time you're gonna loose" she says bitterly "You're going to loose and I'm not gonna be here during the fallout"
Bell feels anger out of everything. She wants to shut her up.
"then get the hell out of my castle" he says simply
"I'm planning on it" she says "but first I need money"
He laughs, turning around "are you out of your mind?"
"If I don't marry you, my family disowns me" she says "I'm left with nothing. Give me money and I'll be on my way"
"so you're giving up" he says slowly
"I know there's no hope for me now" she says "I'm not an idiot"
He stares at her for a very long time.
"I'll give you money if you promise not to go near him again"
Her eyes widen but otherwise stays completely silent.
"If you were really in love with him, you'd say no" he says "but we both know what your answer is going to be so take the money and get the hell out of my sight"
Arthur flops on his chair and presses against his eyes.
On her way out she stops "what about Luke?" she asks softly.
Arthur sighs "I'll negotiate to send him away"
she stills "that's going to destroy him"
"You destroyed him" he says, shooting her a tired look "he's going to be known as a sexual assaulter his whole life. No matter where he goes. You ruined him"
She looks down for a minute then says "good bye Arthur"
"good bye Kat"
Bell is suddenly struck with the idea that Katia has been around Arthur all his life. He lost two of the closest people he had in days. Granted he probably didn't like her at the best of times but he must have gotten used to her...just being there.
Bell realizes something. Katia called her here out of fear for her life. She wanted her to be here to stop Arthur from doing anything. That's probably why Arthur called her when he went to see Luke too. He was afraid of himself. Of what he might've done if she weren't there. They're using her to influence him. She glances at Arthur who looks...upset.
Without even thinking about it, she walks softly towards him. He instantly leans his head against her and she holds him, threading her hand in his hair as she hugs him to her. His arms go over her waist and she actually hears him sigh a little. Honestly, he's been having such shitty days that if hugging him is going to relieve some of his pain then so be it. They stay like that for a while. Him just breathing against her, his eyes closed tightly as he slowly regains some of his strength.
"You didn't tell me" she says softly and he opens his eyes "Tell you what?" he asks
"That you already were doing charity" she says, recalling her discussion with him after she was caught stealing "you made me think you didn't care for your people"
He shrugs "I wasn't going to use charity for my own personal benefit" He leans away and looks up at her. She swallows nervously from the sudden closeness. His eyes are so blue "Besides, it wouldn't have done much for me..."
He reaches for her hair and she stills, watching his fingers grab a loose lock.
"...you'll still find a reason to hate me again"
She looks away from his fingers and down at him again. She doesn't say anything but her eyes harden. She doesn't like where this is going.
"I don't hate you"
"Since we met, how many times have you told me you hated me?" he asks "how many times have you called me a monster?"
She backs away from him, breaking contact.
"Maybe it's because most times you are one"
He grabs her arm suddenly, stopping her from getting far.
"You tell me you hate me, you call me a monster then you throw yourself into my arms" he says, standing up and glaring at her "what game are you playing?"
"let go of me" she says, getting angry herself
"Answer me" he demands
She tries to pry his hand off her "let go of me..." she strains "Arthur"
He lets go and she staggers back, her eyes burning.
"god!" she says, backing away from him and rubbing her arm "you do shit like that then ask why I don't like you"
His eyes widen "oh I'm sorry" he says mockingly "I wasn't aware that I had to treat you like glass"
she scoffs "Maybe I should just go"
she turns around to leave when he says "one day I won't let you do that"
She stops.
"Do what?" she asks, turning around to face him again.
"leave"
"So what?" she asks, a defiant tone to her voice "You're going to force me to be with you? Is that it?"
"Is that what you want?" he asks "Too scared to jump in? You want a push?"
"Who said anything about being scared?"
"you are scared" he says "you're scared of me-"
"And can you blame me?" she asks "Every time I look at you I see you choking someone or punching someone or smothering someone with a pillow! How do I know you won't do that to me?!"
He gapes at her, his eyes wide.
"Do I have to spell it out for you?!" he asks "I love you!"
"No you don't!" she says quickly "Wanna know why? Because it doesn't exist! Love means nothing! Just because you love someone doesn't mean that it's going to work between you two-"
"It means everything!"
"It means nothing!" she shouts "Even people you love let you down. Love is just a fairytale someone wrote about. It's a mirage! Fiction! It's not really there!"
Silence ensues as Arthur just stares at her and she tries to calm her beating heart.
"You don't love me Arthur" she says, her voice weakening "Okay? You don't. You think you do, but you don't. Not really"
When he doesn't say anything she turns to leave.
"What did your grandmother do?"
She freezes completely.
"What are you talking about?" she whispers
"What did she do to you?"
She doesn't look him in the face "What makes you think she did anything?"
"you wouldn't be this hateful if your grandmother was as loving as you make everyone think she is"
This time she does look up at him and she's hurt.
"hateful?" she asks, laughing, shocked "I'm hateful?"
"yea you are" he says
"Because you're so loving right?" she asks, sarcasm dripping from her voice
"At least I believe in love" he snaps "At least I believe in loyalty and dignity and family and friendship. What the hell do you believe in huh? You've been here almost a year. How many friends have you made?"
"What has loyalty and family and dignity gotten you huh?" she says, angry "Your father beats you, your mother hates you and you lost two of the closest people you had in days! What the hell has love and loyalty gotten you!?"
They both freeze. Shocked.
He blinks at her. His expression blank and his stance completely still.
She feels her tears slide down her cheeks. She looks away from him. From his face.
"You're not hateful huh?" he asks and she closes her eyes. Her tears streaming faster now.
"I'm sorry" she whispers, crying "I'm so sorry"
He watches her silently as she breaks down in front of him. He tells himself to man up, to stay stern, to not let her comment slide, to stay angry, to give her the cold shoulder but he sighs, deciding to spare her the guilt he knows she's feeling.
He walks over to her.
"It's fine Bell-"
She shakes her head "no it's not...no its not...it's not fine-"
he touches her arm "it's fine Bell-"
She shakes her head "I'm so sorry...I shouldn't have said that-"
"hey" he says "look at me"
He pushes her head up softly "look at me" he says "It's fine okay?"
The back of his fingers brush away the tears on her left cheek softly "I forgive you" he says "breath Bell"
"I'm sorry-"
"Don't apologize to me" he says softly "I'm not upset-Look at me Bluebell"
She looks up at him again and is frozen by the look on his face. By the look in his eyes. The anger has faded into a worse emotion. The lines have softened and a contempt look has filled his eyes as he gazes at her. His hand comes up to wipe away the tears of her other cheek, longing in his eyes.
She watches as he backs away from her with evident internal conflict and walks over to his chair. He sits back down heavily. He has a sad look on his face. He's in charge of millions of people. Right now, he looks like he's feeling the weight of every single one.
She stands still, his touch still lingering on her face. Seeing him like this, upset and suffering makes her want to forget her insecurities and fears and go to him, to give him a chance, to make his pain ease. As much as she tells herself she doesn't like him, she admires him. She admires his loyalty to his men, she even admires his viciousness sometimes. She admires him when he snaps at someone, she admires him when he quiets a hall full of people, she admires him when she sees people being loyal to him. She admires all of that. Simply because she can't do any of that. She remembers when she got kidnapped to be sold as a slave. She wished so much that she had the guts to do something, to fight for herself but she didn't. She completely froze.
What was that girl's name? The brave one. The one that got away. Charlotte. She escaped. Probably saved herself a lot of troubles. If only all the caught women had the guts to stand up and fight for themselves, they would've had a real chance of helping themselves.
Bell is a follower. She's known it all her life but she always tries not to follow anyone and to be independent. Arthur is worth following. He demands allegiance from people, he demands loyalty. She hates that. She doesn't know if she's capable of looking at him and seeing Arthur rather than the king who she swears allegiance too.
What are you saying...You cannot actually be considering this...
"you know" he says slowly "I always liked you because you're understanding, compassionate and non judgmental but I guess that luxury is not extended unto me"
That makes her guilt feel even worse. She looks down.
"You're scared of me" he continues "There's nothing to be afraid of-"
"you're the king" she says, looking up at him "the king"
"I'm Arthur" he stresses
"you're the king before you are Arthur"
he shakes his head "no Bell" he says "I was Arthur before I was the king"
She sighs softly "What do you want from me?" she eventually asks, exhausted
"to give me a chance"
"What does that even mean?" she asks
"Right now..." he says "It means to not judge me too harshly. To be more forgiving. To give me a chance and not shut the door in my face. That's all I'm asking right now"
She looks at him for a second then bites the inside of her lip. Hard.
"I can't give you anything" she says softly "I have nothing to offer-"
"and I'm not asking for anything" he says "all I'm asking is for a more understanding heart"
She looks out the window then says "I can do that"
"Thank you"
She looks back at him, their eyes connecting once more
"no problem"
-----------------------
THE SLOW BUUUURRRNNN GODDD THE BUUURRNNN
Ugh that was heavy.
I felt a little sorry for Arthur here. Then again, I kind of feel sorry for all my characters. I feel sorry for Bluebell that has trust issues the size of an elephant and self esteem the size of an ant. I feel sorry for Luke, I feel sorry for Kat. Damn. I really should let them breath once in a while. Too much shit happening.
OKKAAYY
This chapter had A LOT of foreshadowing and new details and bits. Enjoy picking it apart.
As always, I apologize in advance for any grammar mistakes or spelling mistakes.
-December 24, 2018, Monday (7:28 pm)