Chapter 28
"Kate, That day, when I had to haste out for that meeting with Black pawn…"
"Yea. About that, Castle…"
"I was really upset when you suggested that I reschedule the meeting…"
"I know..." she said and her thumb began tracing circles on his hand involuntarily.
"It felt to me as if you were taking advantage of the fact that I can usually bend the rules in my kind of Job, but it's not always like that Kate.."
"I know… I knew after we spoke that day, after you hung up, that I may have said something wrong. But I got so invested in the case that day, that I just wasn't thinking straight when you called.
She paused for a moment then and he waited.
"We were supposed to go undercover that day, to catch the killer; the guy had killed three little children and was scheming to kill again."
"You went undercover that day?"
"Yea and I wanted to tell you about it… about having to go for the undercover op, just in case anything had to go wrong I wanted to tell you…" she trailed off
Castle's face looked worried. And as she continued to talk he lifted her hand and kissed it softly. Taking that moment to assure himself and her that they were both here now. Nothing went wrong at the undercover op, but he'd wish he'd known then.
He hated when she had to go undercover without him to back her up. A lot of things could go wrong if your cover is blown.
"…but then you hung up, and I don't blame you. I understand now where I had gone wrong..." she looked into his eyes now.
"Rick, I'm sorry... I wasn't thinking, and it was completely wrong of me to ask you to reschedule when there was something I could have done about it..."
He got down from the sofa and knelt before her, still holding her hands in his.
"It's alright now Kate. but I can't help but feel horrible for the stupid things I've said and done just cause I was upset with you about that"
"Rick…"
"No... That day when Nate brought up the zoo..."
"No Rick... I'm not going to let you take the blame for that… it's been a long while. And I've realized now, that I'm holding them back from learning new things, just cause of my insecurities.
You're right… it's time I accept what happened and move on from it… it's not fair to them."
He smiled at her
"are you sure?"
"Yea..." she smiled back. "I'm sure they'll find it a lot more amusing now that they know the animals."
He kissed her hand again, and this time allowed his lips to linger on her skin…
she closed her eyes to enjoy the feeling.
His hands gently pulled her boots of her feet, and she felt his strong fingers and palms massaging her feet. The sweet caring husband that he was, even while they were sorting out their differences, all he was worried about was her aching feet.
Then he spoke again, now sitting up on the couch and taping his lap, signalling her to place her feet up, and lean back on the couch.
"I do some pretty stupid things when I'm upset… I had no right to interfere when you were correcting Nate. I don't know what made me do that. And I'm sorry I yelled at you… especially in front of the kids... it was totally uncalled for, unnecessary…"
Kate looked at him with love eyeballs. He was apologizing for that night.
"They thought that we were fighting because of him. He began to feel guilty." Kate's eyes began to turn moist at the memory, and that pained Castle.
Castle was looking at her with sad eyes. "Really?" he looked down at where her feet were being massaged by his hands in his lap… he seemed deep in thought and he looked worried. Pained. She didn't like that he was feeling so hurt about it now. she had expected him to apologize, but she hadn't thought for once that he would feel so bad…
she put her feet back down and sat beside him, snuggled into his side, and placed her hand on his chest. She rested her face against him and his hand involuntarily reached to her hair to play in those soft tresses.
"I wasn't getting sleep that night, so I went to check on them" she spoke. "He had a nightmare that he lost me... so I tucked myself in with him, and he apologized for his misbehaviour, and that's when he told me… but I reassured him that what ever was going on between us wasn't because of him…"
Castle huffed.
"I'm sorry Kate… I wasn't thinking. And I ended up upsetting all of you... you didn't sleep that night at all? And all because my stupid big mouth yelled at you for no reason, all because I tried to act over smart with you and the kids. I can't believe I let myself get carried away like that…"
"You were angry with me for a valid reason Castle, I understand that now..."
"Whatever it was, you didn't deserve that…"
Castle felt all the more horrible, cause he clearly remembers her massaging his head when it began to severely ache in the middle of the night even though she was angry with him… and he was just feeling so guilty about it now.
Kate could see through his heart, and she knew what he was feeling right now... she looked up at him and softly ran her hand through his hair…
"It's okay Rick... it's all forgotten.." she smiled. She rested her head on him; he put his arm around her and cuddled her to his side. Breathing her in.
she spoke softly. "This entire week has been crazy..."
"I missed you Kate."
"I missed you too babe" she softly kissed over his clothed chest.
He continued. "We've hardly gotten to talk much with everything that's been happening, and Alexis brought it to my notice today, that maybe our lack of time together is what's causing all of this"
Kate looked up at him… "Yea. I was thinking that too"
"well then you two are right… so I asked Alexis to take the kids out for the night. So that you and I could have the house to ourselves…"
Kate was about to say something.
"It was her idea. She insisted that we spend some time alone… and she was most happy to take the twins to grandpa's house"
"They're gone to Dad's place?"
"Yea. Of course, we asked him before barging into his place"
Kate chuckled softly.
"So it's just you and me tonight Kate… right until tomorrow afternoon"
she traced a line down his chest, and said
"let's put whatever happened between us this week behind us okay… we both said and did stupid things, and we both regret them.."
"I know of ways to help you forget" he wiggled his eye brows and she chuckled.