Double Up

Chapter 26

Chapter 26

she climbed a step up the tiny ladder of the bunk bed and watched her baby girl Jo. She was holding on tight to her little teddy bear and sleeping. Kate traced her soft cheeks with her finger, admiring her little angel for a moment.

And then she leaned in and kissed her. "I love you Joanne"

she then got down and sat on the lower bunks bed and watched her son. She couldn't stop the tears that came to her eyes while she looked at him. She didn't mean to make him cry tonight, she was just trying to instil some kind of discipline in them about their bedtime.

She put her hand on his hand, lifted it and kissed his soft skin... and Little Nate's eyes slowly opened and when he saw his mommy, he immediately sat up and jumped on to her, huggin her and holding her tight.

"Baby, I'm sorry, I woke you up"

"Mommy, sleep with me" he said softly. And Kate nodded. She somehow laid down in that tiny bed and Nate cuddled up to her. She kissed his forehead.

"Why'd you wake up?"

"I had a nightmare mommy." his tiny hand was clinging onto her t-shirt and he was trying to bury his head in her chest

"I dreamed that a monster came and took you away from me" he seemed to be sobbing and shaking in fear.

"Oh baby, no... No never."

She held him close to her. Kate hated to think that she had no way of protecting her kids from nightmares. It was the only thing she couldn't protect them from. But at least she could give him this. The reassurance that she was here.

"No one can ever take me away from you two. You and your sister are my gems. You're more precious to me than my own life. And I'd put that monster behind bars like I do the rest of the bad guys"

Nate then pulled away and wiped his eyes. He then looked up at her and said "I'm sorry I didn't listen to you mommy. I didn't mean to hurt you. And I'm sorry I kicked you so much. Did I hurt you?"

Kate's heart melted. She hugged him tight and said

"It's nothing that can't be healed with a hug"

"Mommy, are daddy and you fighting because of me?"

She looked at him now questioningly.

"Who told you that?"

"After daddy tucked us in, Jo told me that daddy and you are fighting and it's my fault"

"No baby... its nothing of the sort. Your dad and I are just… well we have something going on... but we'll sort it out soon. It's nothing that you or your sister should ever be worried about."

He put his hand on her cheek and said

"You cried mommy?"

"No I didn't" she denied with a smile.

"Yes you did!"

"Okay, you caught me."

"Did daddy make you cry?"

"No honey. Now don't worry. I want you to sleep okay. Come on."

He turned in his mommy's arms and she softly hummed a lullaby in his ears, and just before he could fall asleep he said

"I didn't mean what I said mommy…"

"Hmmm?" she asked.

"About you not being here."

"I know baby. Its okay" and he fell asleep soon after.

Kate eyes closed for an hour. But after that she was awake again. When she was sure that both her kids were still fast asleep, she closed their room door and went back through the study and into their bedroom. She closed the door and looked at Castle. He was fast asleep. That was good. At least his headache would have stopped.

She wasn't going to sleep tonight. Her head was too full of things and it wasn't going to allow her to rest. It was 4 am and in another few hours she would have to leave for work. She went back out into the study and sat at her husband's desk. She liked sitting here

It was the place where he created magic. He put words onto a screen and created best sellers. He'd write about her, his muse, his partner, his friend, his lover, his wife, and the mother of his children.

And here at this very desk, words flowed from his heart and mind, through his fingers on these keys right here. And every book he made was a love letter to her. He really loved her and he only proved it with every new book he added to the Nikki heat series. She loved him too. In fact, it was possible she loved him more than he could ever love her, but she just didn't know the right ways to show him

she opened his laptop, and began to read the last chapter he was working on. He probably wrote all of this before he got the call about the meeting.

Kate woke up to a loud sound. She opened her eyes and immediately felt a catch in her neck. She held on to her neck and tried rotating her head to loosen the caught up muscle. That's when she realized she had fallen asleep in his desk chair, her neck turned in an awkward angle. Hence the catch now in the morning.

The sound was coming from the bedroom. She got up slowly and went into the bedroom, it was her alarm. And it was now beginning to stir Castle awake. She quickly turned it off. He opened his eyes slightly and groaned. She looked at him

"Is the headache gone?"

"A little" he replied.

"I can stay home with the kids if you want. You need to see a doctor."

he got up then and wiped his hand down his face and then through his hair.

"No no, you go to work. I'll be fine."

"Castle…"

"You have a case Kate. Don't worry"

He walked on into the bathroom and closed the door behind him.

'Great, no "good morning"; no "did you sleep well?" nothing.' she thought.

She needed coffee.

She went downstairs and started off the coffee and then began going about with her morning chores. When she was all set and ready to go, Rick was making breakfast for the kids. She took her phone and made a call and then she kissed her kids and told them she'd try to come home early tonight.

Then she looked at Castle. She so badly wanted to kiss him. But he looked at her and then looked away. She looked down. Her eyes began to get moist again. She took a deep breath and walked to the front door to put her shoes on.

And just when she was about to open the door to leave, she felt his warm hand on her shoulder... she turned around and there he was. Staring at her with those baby blues.

He leaned in and kissed her forehead and she hugged him tight. Breathing him in. he held her tight to him too. But they didn't say a word to each other. No. both afraid that their emotions were still raw right now, and they didn't even know what they were really fighting about. When he let go, she left.

But even before she started the car she saw his text.

"I know you called Alexis. I hope you didn't misunderstand me, I have nothing against you staying back with the kids while I go to the doctor… it's just... I'm feeling fine now. I don't need to go to the doctor, and well you have an important job"

"There's nothing more important to me than family Rick"

"I'll go to the doc. You stay safe okay. And don't worry. We'll talk tonight"

"Okay. I'll see you in the evening"

She drove on to the precinct, feeling a little better now that they had decided they would talk things out in the evening when she was back.