For OlympeRivera and willowmoonblood who inspire me to keep on trying.
I was nervous as hell about coming here tonight, my first gathering at Interscope record since signing with them a little over six weeks ago.
I'm Maud Johnson and trust me my name is as boring as I am in real life, the most exciting thing I've ever done is sign to Interscope records, that's it. Period!
I'm not only an amazing song writer but I can sing the birds from the trees and I know that sounds egocentric but it's actually fact or I wouldn't be here in this room full of incredible artists and industry types is the kind of thing my manager would encourage me to say to anyone who cared.
When in reality I was an ok singer who could write a good love song, my self confidence never quite measuring up to my management's lofty and over inflated opinion of me.
I recognise a few of the faces in the room as I glance around, smiling at people, Jeremy my manager introduces me to the people he says will be helpful to me in my career but he's stupid if he doesn't think I know they'll be just as helpful for him. I feel awkward not used to mixing in these circles part of me wishes I could go back six weeks and not sign that over inflated contract, I was more comfortable at home writing and singing for myself, I had yet to sing in front of an audience of any magnitude and the thought made me want to pass out with nervousness, it was a pure quirk of fate to be discovered by Jeremy whilst singing in a local open Mic night.
While he's talking to someone high up at Interscope I make my excuses and take off clutching my glass of wine for a wander around the room and try to speak to people I actually want to speak to but for a socially awkward girl it's hard work.
Out of the corner of my eye I spot a man trying and failing to blend into a wall, he's over in the far corner of the grand room and he's gripping his bottle of water as tight as I'm clutching my wine.
He's wearing a hoodie, a white one with the hood up and it covers most of his face, I stare at him, silently wondering if he's handsome under there and wishing I was as brave him and had the balls to turn up here in comfortable clothing rather than a dress which might look beautiful but was actually skin tight, the material was rough as hell and way too short for me and not to mention the heels of Satan that I wore on my feet, I glanced down his body and ended up sighing enviously at his sneaker clad feet. I'm the most uncomfortable I've ever been.
He looks up the same time as me and we make eye contact I recognise him immediately and my eyes widen in fear, I must look like a deer caught in the headlights because he caught me staring but I can't tear my eyes away from his face, he smirks at me and his eyes break contact with mine as they travel down the entire length of my body and back up again to my eyes, he turns his head to his friend beside him, still watching me and whispers something in his ear, his friends head jerks round as he regards me with surprise and something else flashing through his eyes.
I can't stop staring from the relative safety of the opposite side of this huge room as they put their heads together and whisper again.
Finally I'm able to look away from him, my heart thuds slowly in my chest, my brain is absolutely mashed and I place my glass down on the nearest surface as any more alcohol and I might find myself in trouble, as I walk back to Jeremy my nipples harden and chafe against the tight, rough fabric of the dress I'm wearing and worst of all I feel moisture pooling between my legs, I'm so embarrassed. I keep my back turned to him and join back in with Jeremy's group.
That's until the man who signed me to his label and whom I only knew as Dr Dre taps him on the back asking to introduce us to some friends of his, I turn around smiling and I'm met by the same piercing blue eyes that were giving me the once over only minutes ago, his face is passive as Dre's booming voice introduces us
“Jem, Maud this is Marshall Mathers better known as Eminem and his buddy Porter!”
Jeremy gushes over them and shakes both men's hands as I stand there, face flushed as Porter reaches down and grasps my hand in his big warm one and leans forward kissing my cheek, I could drown looking into his eyes, they are soft, gentle and dark brown, they make him look like the kindest man in the world, also he smells pretty damn good too.
My senses are scattered all over the room as Marshall in turn grips my hand tightly and shakes it lightly. His hands are rough and calloused and I briefly imagine them caressing my bare skin.
Taking a deep breath I take a step back and pull my hand from his tight grip he's seemingly reluctant to let go of me, but I need to get away from him, I feel like everyone around me can hear me panting with desire
“Excuse me gentlemen!" I blurt out
Turning on my heels and walk quickly out of the room and find a balcony to escape onto I close the glass windows behind me, I hide clutching at my heart and willing it to slow down, no one has had an effect on my body like Marshall Mathers before and it's so bad but at the same time feels really good.
I'm considering calling a cab and heading back to my hotel room because I don't know what my next move should be, this feeling It's not love or anything like that rather a feeling of immediate, rampant lust and an instinctual need to have him pounding inside of me to get rid of this ache building within me.
When I finally think I have my body back under control I head back to the party and am relieved to find absolutely no sign of Marshall and his friend. My body calms and the pulsing between my legs slows down, my heightened senses begin to return to normal and I feel I could get back into this party.
After another hour of networking I'm bored and wanting to cut my feet off they hurt so much, I'm standing with my back to the rest of the room the thrill from earlier a distant memory now until I feel a soft, hot hand wrap gently around my wrist from behind me and pull me backwards behind some curtains separating part of the room off, I glance around nervously but no one is watching me and I freely walk backwards
“Hey gorgeous!”
I'm greeted by Porter who steps back allowing an expressionless Marshall to step forward
“You wanna get out of here?”
he asks quietly tucking a loose stand of hair behind my ear, I can't speak my previously relaxed body begins to get taut and coil tightly again, I look at them both alternately trying to gage what they are actually asking of me, my breathing quickens as Porter moves behind me and I feel his hot breath on the back of my neck and Marshall takes another step forward, my heart beat increases and I'm sandwiched between them as Marshall reaches out to toy with the shoulder strap on my dress he watches his own fingers as he does it and my head goes into overdrive!
Are they asking me what I think their asking me?
“We have a problem sexy"
Marshall whispers seductively, I feel lips attach themselves to the back of my neck and my knees start trembling as Marshall looks me in the eye
“We both want you"
he whispers again, my eyes fluttering shut as his words start to have an affect on me, he leaning down kissing the side of my mouth gently as I feel a pair of hands gripping my waist. He moves his head back searching my eyes and I can literally not will myself to speak or move, I'm trapped in a web of seduction, beautiful men, the unknown and risky possibilities.
“So we decided we'd both have you! What do ya think sexy? How do you think it'd be to fuck us both?”
I groan loudly, it's so quiet in this cordoned off part of the room, it's bizarre I hear laughing, music and speaking two feet behind me yet all I hear in this room is three people breathing harshly with desire.
I'm struck by the fact that they both want me and it emboldens me to ask a question of my own at last
“Do I get any say in this?”
my voice sounds high as Marshall takes a step back once more and snorts
“Yeah sexy, you get to say yes or no"
Porters hands slip round my waist pulling me back closer to him, his body pressed up tightly against mine
“Don't worry we'll make you feel so good sexy" he hums against my ear making me shudder in his arms.
Marshall stalks forward again pushing his body firmly against mine, both of their erections nudging into my body, I'm breathless as Marshall plunders my mouth and Porter my neck, two pairs of hands wander softly over me.
My body is screaming yes and my head tells me it's a bad idea but in the end it simply feels too good my body wins out
“Yes!” I breathe out pushing Marshall away, “Yes.”