Under the Blood Moon
Sixteen
I feel lighter on my feet as I bounce around the kitchen making breakfast. Cauis sits on a stool, just watching me. He didn't stay the night again. I'm not ready for that yet, and don't want to cause Hope any pain by him being here constantly. I made him leave around ten o'clock, and then got into bed with Hope who had fallen asleep. At seven, I was already awake, actually waking up with a smile on my face, and took a shower. By the time I got out, Cauis was knocking on the pool house door.
As I place a waffle on a plate and set it in front of an excited Cauis, Hope sleepily walks around the corner, rubbing at her eyes.
"Good morning," I greet her. My voice even sounds different, lighter, happier.
Hope looks at me, and then over to Cauis. "Morning," she replies and takes the stool next to him.
"Waffle?" I ask her already pouring more batter onto the iron.
I make each of us a waffle, Cauis of course making himself another. Cauis and I talk while we eat, Hope adding in something here and there, but not really contributing to the conversation. When Cauis is finally done eating, he picks up his plate, and then mine and Hope's.
"I'm going to take a shower." Hope informs us coming off her stool.
"Okay," I reply watching her go back down the hallway.
When we hear the water start running, Cauis turns to me when he's done cleaning the waffle maker. "What can we do to help her?"
I shake my head at him. "She won't let anyone help her." I tell him looking down at my fingers. "I don't think I'm even doing anything."
"You are, Esmerelda." He says quietly. "Don't do that to yourself." Cauis reaches a hand over the counter, and grabs my hand. I look up at him as he continues, "When we got home, she wouldn't talk to anyone, other than you. Now, she'll talk to me, and has spoken to Miles at least. Hope is making progress. She'll get there, just like you will."
I smile at Cauis as I take a deep breath. "Hope's experience was different than mine. She had to live through it for months, where I only had the one time. I don't know how to help her."
"You don't have to do it alone." He promises me. Cauis opens his mouth to say something more, but then freezes. He looks down to the counter top and tilts his head to one side. After a moment, he looks up at me and gives me a small smile. "I have to go. Septimus needs me."
"Septimus?" I ask confused. I haven't seen, or spoken, to him since returning home. For the first time, I wonder how he's doing. I'm sure his son being the cause of so much grief has had an effect on him. "What does he need help with?"
Cauis shakes his head at me, continuing to smile. "I don't want you to worry about it. I can handle it. You just keep focusing on you and Hope. That's what's important." Cauis steps around the counter and wraps his arms around me. He kisses the top of my head and says, "I love you. I'll be back when I can."
I squeeze around his waist and tell him I love him. When he shuts the pool house door, the familiar feeling of emptiness creeps in. I wrap my arms around myself, and will myself not to cry. Cauis' presence alone has made a huge difference in me, and when he's not around, I feel like I'm drowning again. I look around the empty room, chewing on my bottom lip. What am I supposed to do now?
Hope emerges slowly about thirty minutes later, peeking around the corner before coming into the room. "Where did Cauis go?" She asks coming to take the seat next to me on the couch.
I shrug my shoulders at her. "I don't know. Something to do with Septimus."
"Oh," is all Hope says.
After a minute of silence, and me going through the endless channels on the TV, I sigh, and pass Hope the remote. There's never anything on. Hope starts going through the channels, going too fast to see what's really playing.
"What do you want to do today?" I ask her as I reposition myself on the couch. Hope shrugs at me, but doesn't say anything. I may be feeling slightly better, but Hope hasn't started to step back into the light yet. She's still in her dark place. I just wish there was a way for me to help her, like Cauis has with me. I know she doesn't want to be around Miles, and I don't think she'll be ready for that for a long time. Not after what happened last night. It was a big step for her to have him over, and the accidental run in didn't help ease her mind. That's what she really needs. To clear her mind. To just get away for a while.
"Want to go for a walk?" I ask her. She hasn't left the pool house since we moved in here, so I doubt she'll want to.
Hope looks over at me, chewing on her cheek. To my amazement, she nods her head. "Yeah, okay."
"Really?" I press surprised.
Hope stands, and starts moving to where our shoes are by the door. "I'm tired of being stuck in here anyway. I feel like I'm losing my mind even more every day."
I move off the couch, and put my shoes on beside her. Neither of us have been out for so long, I just hope this isn't a mistake.
Hope opens the door, not waiting for me to get my other shoe on. I quickly pull it on, and rush after her. Hope turns and starts walking towards the side gate. I follow after her, thinking it's best she lead the way. I don't want to start walking somewhere, and she suddenly feels uncomfortable. I'm wanting this to help her in some form. Even if all it does is take the edge off.
Hope opens the side gate, and then waits for me. I smile at her when I close the gate. "Where to?" I ask her.
Hope looks around and then walks to the tree line along the southern edge. I stay beside her, matching her speed. We walk into the trees and continue on in silence. I'm not sure exactly what to say to her. I don't want to talk about Cauis, since that might make her feel worse about staying away from Miles. I have faith that she will get back to him. It may take a lot longer for her, but every single one of us will be here to support her.
We walk for nearly three hours, continuing towards the south the whole time. Hope has started picking up tiny flowers as we walk, and now has a large bouquet of all types and colors. She fiddles with it, rearranging them so they look nicer. As Hope bends to pick up another yellow flower, I smile at her back.
"You have a talent with flowers, Hope." I tell her as she looks at the bouquet trying to figure out where to put it.
She turns around, still examining them, and says, "I just wish I had more of a variety."
I smile, and wave my hand, filling the area with all kinds. "Take your pick." I chuckle as she gasps.
Hope looks over at me wide eyed, and then slowly makes her way to an orange one. She plucks it, and then puts it in the bouquet. "Esmerelda, your magic never fails to surprise me." She says as she starts going to another kind.
"You have magic too, Hope." I remind her. "You can do this if you wanted."
Hope stops, and looks over her shoulder at me. She pauses a moment, and then turns her whole body to me. She drops her head, and looks at the peddles as she runs a finger over some. "When he locked me in my cell," she starts taking a shaky breath, "I thought my magic would end up killing me, I had actually prayed it would for about three seconds. You said if I don't learn control, it will consume me. For about a month, I tried and tried and tried to gain control, but nothing ever worked. Thinking of Miles and what special times we have didn't seem to make a difference. It wasn't until he broke my right arm that I was finally able to do something other than shoot out bolts of light. The healing thing I did on you was the first piece of magic I was able to use. I had used it to heal my own arm."
I step up next to her, handing her another flower I had picked. "What did you use to gain control?" I ask her
Hope looks at me, and then down at the flowers in her hands. She takes a deep breath, and says, "It was actually Cauis." Hope turns, and picks up another flower. "He uh, got into this habit of trying to break out of his cell. Almost everyday I would hear this banging sound, followed by him shouting. He would do it for hours some days." She pauses as the memories come back to her. I reach my hand out, and place it on her arm, wanting to comfort her. Hope takes a deep breath, and continues. "He broke my arm one time when I tried fighting him. When I was put back in my cell, Cauis was already at it, trying to break out. That day, he didn't try for as long as he normally did. I was trying to figure out what made him stop, but of course I never knew. In my mind, I created this scenario that he had hurt himself and wasn't able to continue. Cauis would always work tirelessly to break out. So, I wanted to be sure that if he ever was able to get out and come get me, that I would be able to heal him if I needed to. That's why the healing thing was the first thing I was able to do. For Cauis."
I force myself not to cry as Hope tells me her story. Her introduction into magic hadn't been easy. She forced herself to control it because she wanted to help Cauis. She had faith in him that he would get them out of there, even though it seemed hopeless. She had faith in her Alpha. It makes a little more sense now why she feels a connection with him. Why she was able to talk to him. Without knowing it, Cauis saved her life in more ways than one.
"Hope," I say quietly pulling her into my arms. "I'm so sorry."
She doesn't hug me back, but nods her head. "I know you are." She pulls herself out of my arms and says, "But it's also because of how I was able to learn control why I don't want to use it."
"It doesn't have to be that way." I tell her. "I can show you how to really use it."
Hope chews on her lip. "Can you just show me how to defend myself? When Cauis and I were coming for you, I had killed five people without even trying. I just let my magic do whatever it wanted. I don't want to hurt anyone else. So, if you show me how to defend myself without killing anyone, that would be great."
I smile at her. "I can teach you."
Hope throws her bouquet down and returns my smile. "Teach me now."
I chuckle at her enthusiasm. "You sure?" Hope just nods her head, a little light coming to her eyes. "Okay, but first I need to see how powerful you really are. It'll tell me where we need to start."
I move to stand beside her, instead of in front of her, and raise my hands. "Join me." I say smiling over at her. "Just put her hands like mine, and chant with me." Hope does as I instruct and then I chant slowly so she can pick up the cadence, "Omodo kena croses licata." It's the weather changing spell Master Druses had taught me his first time tutoring me.
Hope repeats me, stumbling a little. I repeat the cadence again slowly a few times until she gets it right. When she has it, she closes her eyes in concentration. I drop my hands, and take a small step back. I look up to the sky as Hope begins chanting by herself. The sky turns dark before she's finished reciting it the first time. By her third chant, she's able to make it start raining. I grab her hand, and force her to stop.
"Hope," I say when she opens her eyes. "You are just as powerful as I am."
"How so?" She asks confused, looking down at her hands.
"I'm not sure. Maybe because you're from my blood line, even though witches in my family stopped using magic centuries ago. I'm not even sure how you have magic. But, when I was first taught this spell, I too was able to make the weather change that quickly. You have a truly powerful gift, and just teaching you how to defend yourself would be a disservice to you."
"For now, that's all I want to know." Hope pauses. "That's all I need to know."
I nod my head at her. At least she's willing to try. "Okay, so," I begin. "When defending yourself, it's not important how much power you use. What's important is that you use the right cadence. Some spells will disarm, or off balance, your attacker. Others, like the one it sounds like you used, will kill them. What did you say when you used your magic then?"
Hope shrugs her shoulders and looks at me confused. "I didn't say anything. I just raised my hand. One second they were there, the next they were exploding and blood was everywhere."
I feel my eyebrows shoot up as my eyes widen. "Did you even mean to kill them?"
Hope looks down at the ground, shaking her head. "No. Cauis was going for one of them, and I just wanted to make sure the other couldn't get to him." She answers sadly.
I reach my hand out, and place it on her shoulder. "Hope, you did the right thing. Don't feel guilty over saving yours and Cauis' life."
Hope brings her head up and gives me a look. She forces a smile and nods her head. "I know that. Still..."
"I know." I tell her honestly. When a witch does learn control and starts using their magic, it can be scary, especially if you're in a situation where you have to use it. Hope's instincts at the time were to survive, so that's what her magic had ensured. "Let me show you how to disarm someone."
Esmerelda where are you? I hear Cauis shout terrified.
It's nearly dark now, but Hope has been doing so well I didn't want to tell her to stop and leave. The air around us turned chilly over an hour ago, but neither of us really care. Hope has already came a long way since this morning. Hope's smiles are becoming more genuine, lighting her sad face.
I'm teaching Hope how to use her magic. I tell him as Hope lifts a fallen tree and tosses it. She's enjoying herself, Cauis.
That's great, but it's getting cold. Shouldn't you two wrap it up for the day? He replies.
I sigh. We really should, but I haven't seen that look in Hope's eyes for so long. She looks happy. I don't want to ruin it by making her stop.
We'll head back. I tell Cauis as I take a step towards Hope. "You're doing great, but I'm getting cold. We can come back tomorrow."
"Yeah?" She says smiling brightly. She does a little dance, making me laugh. When she's done, she asks, "Can I take us home?"
I laugh at her again. "Sure. Just don't overdo it. Use too much magic, and you'll send us flying into the States." I instruct coming to her side.
Hope reaches over, and grabs my hand. "Esmerelda," she says quietly. I look at her, seeing her brows bunch together. "Don't tell anyone I'm just as powerful as you, please. I don't want anyone knowing, especially Miles. Please, don't say anything."
"Why don't you want anyone to know?" I ask her confused. Hope's abilities shouldn't be kept a secret, especially if it's helping her heal like they are. She should want to share it with everyone.
"I don't know. I just feel like it should be kept a secret. Promise me you won't say anything. Even to Cauis." She pleads.
I let out a breath, and eventually nod at her. "I promise. But, you do know it'll come out one day right? Magic like ours has a way of making itself known."
"I understand." She replies. "But for now, I don't want anyone knowing."
"It'll be our secret." I tell her.
Hope grips my hand tighter, and then in an instant, we're back in the pool house. I gape at Hope. She didn't even need to wave her hand to get us back here.
"Nicely done," I congratulate her.
Hope steps away from me, and gives me a exaggerated bow, causing me to laugh again. Hope joins me after a moment, and we both laugh louder. It feels so great to laugh after everything. We begin laughing so loud, we don't even hear the door open. Neither of us even see it open we're so lost in the euphoric sensation. By the time we're done, both of us holding onto our sides, we're out of breath. Hope's eyes glance over, and then her face falls drastically.
I look over, seeing Cauis and Miles standing just inside the room. My face falls, just like Hope's, and I swallow. The two of them are staring at us in amazement. Like they're seeing us for the first time all over again. The room falls silent.
Cauis is the first one to move. He comes over to me, and places his hand gently on my lower back. He smiles down at me and asks, "Did you have a good day?"
I look over at Hope, who is staring at Miles. I nod my head and look back up to him. "Yeah. We had a good day."
Hope suddenly clears her throat and takes a step towards Miles. "Would you and Cauis like to stay for dinner?" She asks him holding her chin up, smiling.
I gape at Hope, mirror Miles' own face. It's the first time Hope has said a full sentence to him. Last night they had been short and reserved. Miles' eyes briefly flicker over to me, and then back to Hope. He smiles at her and takes a step forward. Hope doesn't even seem to notice. She stays in her spot, and continues to smile at him.
"I'd love to." Miles answers after a moment of composure.
What did you do? Cauis asks wrapping his arm around my waist.
I shake my head. Nothing.
Hope's smile grows. "If you're not busy, maybe we can watch a movie afterwards?" Hope suddenly looks over her shoulder to me. "If that's okay with you?"
I smile at her. "I don't mind." I reply quickly.
Hope turns back to Miles and takes another step, coming right up to him. It's like she's not afraid anymore. The spells I taught her today are giving her the confidence Achilles stole from her back. The way she holds her chin radiates confidence. She knows how to protect herself now.
I smile up at Cauis, feeling better than I have in weeks.
Thanks for reading!
~Stefanie