I rolled over on to my side to face a sleeping Loran. One hand rested on his bare stomach, the other under his head. "Loran?"
"Hm?" He sleepily drawled, cracking his eyes open to peek at me from under sleepy lids.
"I'm scared."
He opened his eyes completely, this time, and rolled over to face me. "Scared of what?" He was dead-tired, I could see it in his blood-shot eyes and I'd felt horrid for waking him up, especially when he'd just finished a twelve-hour shift at work, but I wanted to talk to him.
"You're gonna think this is the stupidest thing-"
"I will not," He yawned, "I promise."
I sighed, "I'm afraid...I'm afraid of love, Loran. Being loved. Feeling love. Giving love. I'm traumatized that I can't love you, or my child the way that you both need to be, and that petrifies me, to be afraid of something that should come so naturally."
"Dalton, hey," He sat up and pulled me up with him. "Dalton, I don't care if you can't show me, or you can't tell me that you love, okay? You know that you do right?"
"I feel like I do."
"Then that's all that matters to me, and as for loving your child, the love that you have for the life you've created, nobody can change that; that is something that cannot diminish, but only deepen. You already prove that so much with how you caress your stomach, or even get those smiles when you feel them kicking away at you."
I broke down sobbing against his chest, and he did nothing but cradle me, whisper sweet things in my ears, and lull me back into slumber. I fought it at first, and then had come to accept it, welcome sleep with open arms.
Who knew that sleep could be so peaceful, yet so horrid at the same time?
-- It's short, I know, I tried. This chapter was more of a filler, anyways, and it was extremely hard to write for some reason. I couldn't get passed the first few sentences without completely hating it and starting all over. Anyways, I'll try & have the next chapter up soon --