9: UNSENTIMENTAL
DARYLL
"Hey man, gotta take a leak for a minute!" Trey, a classmate of mine said before running off the canteen.
I was going to plug in my earphones, when I heard some guys laughing loudly near my table. Well, they were screaming rather talking in loud voices that's trying to annoy the f*ck out of me.
"'Langya! Top 1 pa ren si Phoenix!"
"If her friends ain't into some sh*t, I would've dated her!"
"Nako, 'wag niyong kalimutan si Alli. She's hot too!"
"Oh damn, even her stare f*cks you up. I don't even know what's in her head."
"Who would want to know?"
Then, another laugh emerged from the group of guys. I did nothing but listen to music but at the same time, overhear their conversation. F*ck, I hope someone can shut their mouth! They're f*cking noisy!
"Tell you what? I dare you to hook up with her! I'll even give you my week allowance if you do it!"
"For real?!"
At first, I didn't care whether who that was Allison they're talking about. I was never interested in looking into someone's business that are related in school. Until... Alexid cared to introduce me to her. She texted me that I should bring lunch at the main college lobby for some reason.
"Lex?"
."Oh my god, jerkface!"
"What's up with the... people?"
"What? Them? Friends. How 'bout you?"
Friends. I never knew Alexid considered having friends. She's the type of 'everybody-are-temporary-friends' kind of girl.
"The usual. I just f*cked–"
"Oh sh****t! Language, please!" Alexid yelled, but the guy right in front of me already spitted his f*ck*ng juice on me. What the f*ck?! This would stain!
"Geez! Then, what do you call that?!" I proceed to wipe off the juice off my hand,when I met her eyes.
"Ay! Alli, siya pala yung sinasabi ko sa'yo. Daryll, this is Allison Carpio, and Alli, this is... Daryll McGuire."
And then, I got it. She was that Alli girl they're talking about. Allison Carpio. The moment my eyes got a closer look at hers, I can conclude that they are right: she looks like she wants to kill someone.
But, the longer I was with her because of Royals, I had known that her eyes tell different meanings. Her face is always expressionless. Bland. She isn't smiling or anything, only on occasion.
"I think that's... enough." March carefully picks up the bottle in the middle of our circle, while watching Alexid laugh hysterically like a maniac with no reason beside me!
"I guess the ethyl already got into her nervous system." Cosine volunteered to help me get her up, while she's still at it.
"Can you talk human for once?!"
"I talk human. I don't even know any other languages-"
"Alright! F*ck! I get it!" I stop him, he may turn into a f*ck*ng alien.
We lay down Alexid to the sofa, as her eyes were already droopy. Slowly, she lost consciousness. It's her 'thing' every time she's drunk, she laughs for no reason and gets unconscious. She's that crazy I tell you.
"Osige. Pasyal-pasyal na muna kayo diyan para maalis yung kalasingan, uuwi pa man din kayo. Lalo na si Alexid." March reminded us, pointing a finger at the lifeless girl on the sofa.
I can control myself with drinks, but not Alexid. I kept thinking of reasons how would I explain to her parents how she got drunk coming to her house. Well, her mother's used to it, but her father isn't. I'm worried, knowing that she bought her car, and she's that tired.
"P-Pwedeng lumabas?" My eyes went to Allison as she asked a question at March, who's playing NBA with Enrico. She nodded without removing her eyes on the screen.
She rose from her seat to leave the room. She doesn't look drunk, yet her eyes were already red.
And I don't know what came up to me, when my feet started taking steps towards the door.
F*ck! Why am I leaving the room? I'm not gonna follow her, am I?
Of course, you stupid f*ck! You are!
My mind's contemplating, whether I should or not, because of some circumstances. One, that she may not want to talk to me...
But why am I annoyed that I'm steel standing here?!
I had to pull out my hair to have the guts to go out the room too! Argh!
Going out of the house, was a complete change of nature. I felt the cold blow of the wind as the night grew. Stars were already in the sky, and lamppost were like fireflies that light up the little garden in front of the gates. There was only silence at the rustling of the leaves, as I wonder around to find where she is.
A stone pathway led me to the back of the house, where there is a secret garden, and there in the middle, lies a gazebo. And my eyes weren't lying when I saw her, sitting on a wood bench, blankly staring afar.
"Daryll?"
I did not know how long I was there standing... 'till she called out my name.
I tried not to feel any surprise and just went towards her. I sat beside her and tried to look at where she is looking.
"What brings you here?" I asked in a casual tone.
"Silence."
"Hmm... interesting." I say, looking at the direction her eyes were.
Wtf?! She's looking at the middle of nowhere!
"Why... are you always like that?"
"Oh?" I can tell that her forehead creased, I'm a bit surprised about the emotion change.
"I don't really want to barge in to your business but why are you being weird of yourself? You say words like your some f*ck*ng reincarnation of Socrates or... you look like you hate everybody! Why are you being weird on yourself?"
"... If you're me, you would've understand why."
I was startled at that, hopefully I recovered fast enough. "Yeah... like that's gonna convince me. Just damn say you have an illness or you just, act all mighty so everyone would be scared of you! We've been saying what we are but you just watch us like fools!"
She nodded and turned her head to look at me. I can't help but stare at her eyes that made my mouth stop from blabbering more nonsense rants! "... I'm like this from the start. Philosophical... weird, many have said. I can't tell really, but I think it's how I was raised, and my thoughts on people."
"Why? What do you think of people? Us?"
"I think... people are controlled by influence. That's why they do stuff that they shouldn't. Even all of you are controlled by influences but that's not a bad thing. Why? What do you think drove me to be this... odd?"
I can't help but smile... she's talking, alright! "I don't know. I've never seen you close with anyone. Even others think of that. I can even guess you never had relationships before."
I don't know if it's just me or I saw her smile too. "Or am I wrong?" I whisper near her ear.
"You're right." I saw her hands placed on her thighs. I quickly look away!
"I never had relationships, but that doesn't necessarily mean that I never felt anything, like the whole reason I had to fight them... although I can tell that I'm angry, I can't show it by my face but my actions."
There was silence after that. "It's still great that you thought about... making a group to take down those *ssh*les."
"I only planned to take them out by myself, 'till Alexid came."
A chuckle escaped from my mouth. "Well, that's Alexid for you, but let her be. She deserves everything she got. I'll be there when she does the things she wants just to be happy."
"You... sure care about Alexid."
"I have to admit that I do, but she's like a little sister. We treat each other like siblings. I'll beat any *ssh*les that would hurt her."
I really would, except for the things she does with other guys. That hurts her either, but she likes it.
She barely smiled before uttering. "Unsentimental."
"... What?"
"Most people would think of you as a jerk, but I can see none. You're this... guy... holding this... baggage that made you the person you are now. Even though you're unsentimental, I can see past through your barriers that you try to hide on."
Her eyes were droopy, but I can still se the glint of it, looking straight into mine.
Suddenly, a familiar feeling went into my system. I tried to fight her stare, but I can't. Like she's burning a hole into my soul. I quickly glance away.
"When I lost Evan..." she whispered, low as the rustling leaves, "I thought... that it was the end of me. But somehow... I kept finding reasons to fight for everything I've got."
I returned my stare at her, and still, her eyes were talking. Somehow, she got me into her world. I felt what she felt. And for the record, it was something heavy. There was solitude, but there was this heaviness that altered the feeling.
Quickly, my chest felt heavy, as memories flooded my mind. I couldn't know exactly what she did but it definitely made me share the same feeling as what her eyes says.
"Daryll..."
Then again, I was back on reality. "I can't help but apologize."
"Why?"
"... Royals might hurt Alexid. I will not assure that Dexter would fight back with words, he's more than that."
"That's fine, she already faced anything worst that that... or maybe everyone else here. How wise of you picking members who were victims of that b*llsh*t... We're bunch of misfits too if you noticed."
"How wise of you to notice."
Just then, another silence followed. This time, I took the time to look at her. Her medium-length black wavy hair with her bangs covering her hazelnut eyes, strong nose, reddish plump lips and her sharp jaw...
F*ck! You have to be kidding me!
But then, my eyes went from her face to her neck, with a visible scar on the left, to her collarbone which is slightly hidden from her black sweater, to her shoulders, chest...
F*ck! F*ck! F*ck! Look away f*cker!
Looking at my own stupidity just then, she glanced at me with a 'i-'know-what-you're-doing' look. I was waiting for her to say "done checking me out" but nothing came out of her mouth. Only a chuckle.
A f*ck*ng lovely chuckle.
But then, I noticed her stare getting longer at my eyes, then it went down to my nose, to my lips, to my- Is she checking me out too?! What the actual f*ck is happening to us?!
"Done checking me out?"
"Are you?" she retorted back. Oh, great! I just got roasted by a girl.
If she was some other girl, I would've shown her some more, and we can get into it. I know some of them only wanted the looks, and so do I... but this... this is what I call weird.
First, I wouldn't show more because of Alexid. I have respect over her and if she considers her as a friend then she's off limits. But then, I don't know for what reason that I am awkwardly here with her talking or flirting or I don't even know what to call that!
"Honestly, Alli, are you trying to flirt me?"
"Are you?"
"You're just returning my questions back!"
"Is it bad?"
"You're being weird."
"I'm really weird, but you're the one who's being weird."
I was taken aback at what she said, and realized... does it look like that?
"O-Oh s-sorry."
Ten seconds later, I realized what I've just said. I said sorry to her. I apologized. As long as I can remember, I never apologized to a girl.
"No need. That's fine."
I sighed. "Well, I'll be going back inside. You'll stay here?" She nodded so I rose from my seat.
"You know, " I turned around, facing her again. "I'm going to believe that you'll end the gamechangers. You'll end the misery of everyone."
"We'll end the misery." she pointed out.
I shook my head ."Nah, my life's still a misery anyway when that happens."
I was going to walk away when I stopped. "Find ways to make it happy." she uttered.
"Like how?" I whisper to myself as I continue to walk, only to be stopped by a pair of arms wrapped around my chest.
I couldn't stop the rapid heartbeats inside my chest, as I felt Alli's backhug. F*CK!
"Someone told me that this would be a temporary remedy." she whispered.
I was struck frozen on the ground from what I'm feeling. It was... a different feeling. It was never the feeling of the usual pleasure I get. It's something more than that.
I opened my mouth to atleast say something, but she was the one to break the hug and walk away.
Breathing heavily, I went inside and got back to the entertainment room, where Alexid's already awake, sitting on a sofa, eating popcorn with Cosine. She rather looked surprise to see me.
"Luh, ang pula mo jerkface! Ba't ka kasi lumabas?! Nilamig ka pa ata!"
W-What?! "S-Shut up!" I say and sat beside Enrico to play NBA.
***
"Guys, anong order niyo?" Alexid asked us all as we looked at the menu of the coffee shop.
"I'll go with Espresso." Allison quickly answered.
"Macchiato?" March couldn't help but state her answer like a question. I bet she doesn't usually drink coffee.
After Alexid got all our orders, we decided to sit on a nearby table. We were quiet 'till a familiar face came before us. Well, techinically familiar.
"Sh*t. It's that freshmen!" I whisper to them. Hopefully, they aren't dumbf*cks unlike my other friends and tried to hide their faces from him as he went to the counter to order. I wouldn't mind if she sees me and Alexid. Everyone knows we're friends. Not just these seven.
"The watcher? Right? I was wondering how you knew it. You never told us." Allison asked, despite her face covered with the menu.
Ugh. Alexid didn't either.
I just sighed. "I have a friend in one of the freshmen sections. His name's Luis. Everyone knows him and I mean every freshmen. He's friendly yet clever. He's aware of the frat since he tried joining but he didn't manage to pass the test. However, even with that, he never spoke of it to the principal 'cause he believed it was never his business."
"The... full name?"
"Luis Valentin Altamirano."
"Hold up! Now why the f*ck would you talk to this guy if he's some kind of a jester?!" As soon as I heard Enrico's protest, I couldn't help but crease my forehead.
March shush us, as the guy left the coffee shop without glancing at our direction. Finally, everyone had to show their faces.
"Ano iyon? Nasa carnival?" I even heard Aira asked March.
"Why don't you do the f*ck*ng job, *ssh*le! We can't just ask everyone or it'll be obvious!"
Enrico massaged his forehead. "Ang sinasabi ko lang, e bakit kasi sa kanya pa? I mean there are more popular freshmens who knew about the frat. Why him?!"
"He has the connection we have. Besides, half of the freshmen population are frat members!"
"So, we have to be careful then..." Allison stated. "Since Luis is uncertain."
"Yup. But there's no other way kasi, Alli." Alexid chimed in, holding all our coffees. She gave us each of our own.
I was going to drink it, when I saw the name written on my cup. And that *ssh*le Enrico started laughing.
It says 'Dareal'... what the actual f*ck!
But beside me is Cosine, who looked more surprised than me. I glanced at his cup to see what name—hahahahaha!
"Luh? Cowsign?!" March read as if it helps us to stop laughing.
I guess having a name related to Mathematics is something that you should be aware of. Most of people never really liked math, which explains the spelling of his name.
"Well, they got mine right." Enrico raised his cup to show his name, but Alexid only reacted with a smirk.
"Eh sa sobrang easy lang kaya i-spell yung pangalan mo! 'Langya ka!"
"Anyways... " March interrupted, getting all the attention, "If this guy, Luis, is someone we can't trust, and takes advantages with students, baka alam na niyang may something between you three." she pointed her fingers at me, Alexid and Cosine.
"How?" – Alexid
"I mean... lalo na ngayon na na-exposed na yung frat nila, I'm assuming that magtatanong tanong yang mga yan kung sino man sa kanila ang nagkamali, and let's say he started with freshmens, Luis could've been asked, and to tell you the bad news, he may tell Dexter that you asked him about the frat."
"... How did you think about that all in your head?!"
"Possibilities and experience." she drank a sip of her coffee. "Unang-una, hindi na bago sa'kin yung pagka-expose ng frat niya. May nagtangka na ring gawin yan, so Dexter and friends asked every freshmens about it. But that's not all, nadamay pa kaming mga SSC officers. I was a treasurer that time."
"May nagtangka na pala? What happened then?"-- Alexid
"They failed, unang-una, because Dexter can cover it up and turn it into a worship group."
"What the f*ck?!" I couldn't help but curse. March calmly nodded.
"That was the... first attempt he made. Actually, magaling nga siya e, he doesn't have members who have tattoos and he necessarily doesn't have any name on his group, other than Strikers. They don't really have a clear location on their hideouts. Some tried joining pero mahirap makapasok, kahit pa gusto mo lang maging watcher nila."
"Hmm... some of the positions seems to be based on chess pieces." Cosine commented.
"Yep. They call him king, anyway."
"Well, someone could join them from here, right?" Enrico suggested.
"We can't if you think of it, we really can't. Lahat tayo kilala from something. Allison's one of the ranks is classmates with Dexter and Phoenix, ako naman, Vice President ng SSC tapos ang sagwa naman tingnan kung binubully kami nina Lavender tsaka Danielle tapos sasali kami ng frat! Si Enrico, kasali na sa Agila, tapos si Cosine binubully rin nila, kayo namang dalawa, kilala ng lahat dahil sa... alam nyo na."
"Sh*t! Para taong na-checkmate ng hindi natin alam." Enrico's tone sounded frustrated.
"But... we were able to show some proof na may frat ngang nangyayari. Tingnan mo yung ebidensya na nabugbog nga si Enrico with the freshmen guys. Maybe we can't join them but we can expose them in many ways possible. Anyways, kakasimula pa lang natin e. Who knows if nagtagal na?" Alexid smirked.
"It will be chaos, I tell you." March concluded.
"Excuse me." suddenly, Allison rose from her seat.
"Luh, bakit Alli?"
"Just going to answer the phone." she said and went out to the coffee shop.
I come to think of everything I said to Luis. He was a... valued friend after all.
"Hey! Can you call Luis for me?" I told the random freshman guy who's leaning on the doorframe of their room. He quickly did it, and a messy-haired, brown-eyed guy with clear glasses appeared right in front of me.
"Oh, long time no see, amigo... and to you too, hermosa." he greeted us with his usual Spanish accent. Even if we're 4 years older than him, he talks to us like we're on the same line.
"Oh, long time too. Listen, I need to talk to you, privately." I tell him. His face looked unbothered but nevertheless, he led the way for us to talk privately.
When there were no students around, I began, "I'll be straight, Luis. I'm sure you're aware of Strikers. Now, I just want you to confirm something for me."
"Sure."
I waste no time, and took out my phone from my pockets and showed him a picture of the freshman we saw at the canteen. I saw his eyes shot up a little. Only a little though.
"You know him?" I asked, but more like I confirmed.
"Hmm... mi companero de clase... Si..."
"Ano daw?" Alexid asked me.
"Please, speak in tagalog."
"Oh, sorry." he smiled sheepishly. "Ah, it's my classmate. Saucedo. Falcon Saucedo yung pangalan niya."
"Well... I heard that he's part of the frat. Can you tell if it is true though?"
He raised his eyebrow and had this annoying smirk on his face. Just then, I knew what he wanted. His hands were already begging.
I took out a 100 peso bill and calmly placed it on his palm. He quickly smelled the scent of it.
"Lo siento, amigo. Kailangan ko ng diskarte sa ngayon. You know me. Anyways... " he hid the bill in his pocket before continuing. "I heard that he actually is part of it. I heard him talking to some fellow Strikers. He's new I guess."
"Can you tell me more about Strikers? Do you know anything about them?"
He didn't answer and instead offered a palm. I gave him another 100 peso bill.
"He is getting annoying." Alexid whispered. Luckily he didn't notice and started talking.
"Strikers isn't just any frat you could think of. A gang? Maybe. They have this so called positions. Some that are known are bishops, rooks, pawns and watchers. The bishop is the highest position. Most likely, these are the people that are close to him. Take Allan as an example. The rook are the so-called protectors. They are responsible for cleaning their acts and pretend that they are just friends. The pawn and watcher has the same job, and that is to be Dex's bodyguards. Utusan, if you think of it, only the pawns are outside of school, while the watchers are inside this institution. These are the newbies. Freshmens. They hangout in most darkest places like the unreconstructed part of the Juniors building, some at the library and some near the comlab on the second floor."
"Thanks... here some extra for that long explanation." I took out another 100 peso bill, and he f*ck*ng looks delighted from it.
"Gracias, amigo!"
"Now, we'll be going but oh... that extra is FOR not telling anyone that I asked you about them, understood?!"
He nodded. "As you say so."
I gave him one last look before leaving. Alexid rather looked tense while wewere walking.
"Sa tingin mo ba gagawin niya yung sinabi mo? Loko-loko rin yon eh!" Alexid whispered.
"Maybe, and if he does, I'll crush his nose."
"Pero pa'no nga kung malaman ni Dexter? I mean pa'no mga plano naten?!"
"We'll think of something. As long as we're ready for them, we don't need to be scared. Besides, we're a group, we are not the only ones that with a mind to think of something."
I was back on reality, when Alli came back inside, and sat on her chair. Her face was still... stoic though. But then, she said "I might consider the scenario that March told us. It was a big risk after all. I can't say we are experts on this, but it's the only way. So I ask all of you to be commited in this. Are you all willing to offer your loyalty and faith in this to accomplish taking down Gamechangers?"
Everyone was silent. Only our eyes spoke, staring at her intently. I felt the sudden seriousness in the air. "Think about it. Your purpose. Why would you want this? I'll let you leave the coffee shop if you don't want this anymore, but there should be no traces of us when you do. Leave it here. However, if your heart desires to stay, then do so... but I must tell you that there is no easy battle. I can assure you that for the past few weeks, you will be troubled. Just for this moment, don't think of anyone as friends, but think of anyone as accomplices. I'll let you decide 'cause I'll be staying..."
Her words repeated somehow repeated in my head. There were some things that hit me. That made me lose my voice to speak. Everyone, actually didn't have the voice and are in deep thoughts. But then my eyes went to Alexid.
I never really believed in anyone who tried messing with Dexter. He's so powerful that not only he can threaten everyone, he could actually do something to them without others knowing.
And for the record, even the principal itself is scared of his power. He doesn't really show it but... ever wonder why he never got expulsion for commiting multiple major offenses? Gotcha there.
He also has the connections. His father is one of the stakeholders of the school. Cliche? Maybe.
Forming some group to take him down won't do for me. He has his own. Heck, he even has two! His frat, and his own friends.
It's absurd for mere students to just delve in and try pulling out some stunts just to expose him and get him expelled. Anyways, if you just avoid and try to ignore him, he would ignore you too. Unless, you caught his eyes and you became their dummy a.k.a Cosine. It was f*ck*ng useless to try meddling with them.
But Allison's words made me think twice about my beliefs. It is her will to get the justice she wanted for that guy. A person who mattered to her eyes. And seeing her saying all those words earlier to us, was like letting us wear her own shoes. She wants us to look for the purpose of what we really wanted.
Evan was lucky for Alli. I can clearly tell that she values friendship.
For me, Dexter wasn't a problem for me. It was... Allan.
7th grade we were friends, but by the time he met Dexter, he started turning into a rebel. Into a monster. The person that I never saw talking to girls, started dating. The person that I never saw drinking alcohol, is already in the bar. He drastically changed to a person I never knew.
I was going to accept it, but he had to be harsh. He had to use me as a rumor to cover up what he did wrong.
Later that day, I became the dummy. It was nothing. I don't give a f*ck on how many wounds I get!
'Till he saw interest in Alexid. She was vulnerable that time and that f*ck*r tried everything just to get a piece of her, yet she hated him. So, I didn't let him. I was there to protect her at all costs.
But not every time. One day, she came to my house, crying.
I thought I was too late, but she told me that someone saved her. That with her screams, someone from the speakers called out for Allan. Then, she met eye-to-eye with this girl whom she suspected as the one who did it, holding a phone close to her mouth, looking back at her. Allison.
I wouldn't deny that I care for Alexid. We've been best friends since childhood. Even though we both became rebels on our own lives, we never forgot that bond, that friendship we had. It was completely platonic. I could tell that 'till now, I never had feelings for her. I care for her as a little sis. She's like, family to me.
It may sound stupid, coming out from my mouth, but I won't let anyone mess with her.
"I'll give my f*ck*ng faith to Royals! I'm gonna f*ck*ng stay!" I say, which took the attention of everyone.