"Are you just going to stare into space?" Bruno meowed, But Fireheart's head was spinning.
"Hey, how do know about St-" he was cut off by the sound of Sandstorm yowling
"It's coming from this way! Hurry!" She called to her patrol, and their pawsteps through the coarse undergrowth became louder as they approached.
"Aww foxdung. Oh well, what can you do. See you later Orangepelt. Come on Mac, let's get out of here." And with that they hopped through the bramble bushes and like that they were gone, back into ShadowClan territory. "I told you to just kill.." And their voices faded away into the distance. Fireheart released a breath he didn't know he was holding onto, falling to a crouch, panting in relief.
"Fireheart!" Sandstorm burst through the leafy wall of the shrubs, circling him.
"Are you alright? We were patrolling and heard the commotion. Which way did they go?" She asked, while Runningwind and Frostfur circled around sniffing. Darkstripe's eats were pricked, listening for anything out of the ordinary.
"They went this way" Runningwind interjected.
"Fireheart, what happened?" Sandstorm meowed. Fireheart shook his head from his daze and walked them through what had just happened.
"How strange" Darkstripe commented. "Could they be new ShadowClan?" He asked.
"Yeah and hedgehogs fly" Runningwind went off.
"ShadowClan are in a bit of a state, but even they wouldn't act in such a heinous manner. Surely." Fireheart cut in.
"Hmm, I wouldn't be so sure about that. But either way, they don't smell like ShadowClan anyhow. Must be an intruder, but you won't catch me volunteering to risk my pelt going to ShadowClan camp to warn them." Darkstripe cut back in, sniffing around.
The rest us them murmured their grim agreement briefly before they rushed for the camp.
They had pushed through the camp entrance and Sandstorm headed to Bluestar's den to report, while Fireheart visually sorted through his clanmates to find a gray pelt. Hmm. There. He just pushed his way out of the nursery.
"There you are!" He pelted over and brushed against Fireheart.
"Graystripe." He purred. He made every effort to suppress his shock and stop shivering. The last thing he needed was to let his stress spread to the nursery. The camp did not need hysteria. Instead, he chose to breathe in his mate's scent and take a moment to forget his own mortality.
"So what happened out there? The patrol's fur seems pretty ruffled."
He, for the second time, explained the events that played out this morning.
"Mouselegs Fireheart! What's with you and getting into trouble?" Graystripe meowed, fussing over him, licking his ears furiously.
"Quit it furball" Fireheart shied away from his affectionate mate.
"I'm sorry, I'm just concerned. How is it that you manage to get into a tricky situation whenever I'm not around?"
Fireheart shrugged sheepishly.
"It's a talent I guess" he mewed. Just then, he jumped at Sandstorm tapping his shoulder with her tail.
"Bluestar wants to see you" She mewed.
"Hmm. I had a feeling she would."
But as he tried to turn away,
"Oh and Fireheart!" He turned back to Graystripe once more.
"What is it?" He asked.
"you do have kits hey? I just thought you needed a reminder." He meowed from across the camp. Wordlessly, Fireheart turned from him and stalked along to Bluestar's stone den, a spark of hot embarrassment tagging along under his pelt. He felt like he was carrying everyone's gaze with him as he hurried along. It made him want to crawl into himself and disappear. He knew where his mate was coming from, had been growing distant from his kits. He thought he was simply giving them space to grow like he said he would, but common sense said that there was a middle ground that he wasn't hitting, but he was shocked to be reprimanded by Graystripe in the middle of camp with everyone listening. At the same time though... Arg! I'm so bad at this! He scolded himself. Then he paused at the the entrance to the den. But he just couldn't get over how nonchalantly his mate just publicly humiliated him like that. Resentment suddenly struck his mind. How is this fair? I'm the one who tends to them everyday. I clean them, I feed them, I put them to bed. All Graystripe does is play with them! How dare his mate complain when all the work has been thrown to Fireheart? He grumbled to himself as he pushed through the vine-curtain into his leader's den. He'd deal with this issue later, both bettering himself and giving a furball a piece of his mind.
But in the now, there was his leader, sitting in the dark, only her eyes barely visible, reflecting the little light that slipped through the thick vine mesh.
"Fireheart. Sit."- She mewed. -"And tell me what happened."
This really was getting old, explaining it over and over. Wasn't Sandstorm supposed to relay this? And so he told her what had happened.
"Hmm I see." Her eyes darkened. "Could this be what the prophecy speaks of?" She asked. Fireheart was taken aback by this theory. He hadn't even thought of that. To tell true, he had actually forgotten about the prophecy altogether for a while.
"Balance?"
He asked.
"Is a light supposed to balance out a 'shadow?' Is ShadowClan getting too shadowy? And that still doesn't explain there's too much light somewhere. I don't get it." He mewed, shaking his head in confusion, nearly whacking it against a crag in the den.
"Yea, well I've been thinking. I have a theory, but I'm not so sure about it just yet." She meowed tentatively, before shaking her head as though to clear it. "Never mind. Sorry to bother you for so long. You may go now." She mewed, her eyes clearing up cheerfully, and shooed him away with her tail.
"Okay okay!" he yowled and leaped out, leaving her to her thoughts.
As he stepped out of the den, he felt a chill in the breeze, and when he looked around, white dots began falling all around them, as the sun disappeared behind the horizon.
"It's snowing!" He heard Featherkit squeal. "Stormkit it's snowing!" Fireheart chucked at his daughter's enthusiasm. He headed for the moss pile, bundled a tight ball of it and crept over to the nursery, before jumping out from behind the brush.
"Stormkit!" He yowled and tossed the ball of moss. This time it was Stormkits turn to squeal with surprise as the ball of soft moss hit him in the face. He he lifted his paw over his head and batted it back as hard as he could, giggling and bubbling with excitement.
"Just wait. When I'm a warrior you'll never beat me at moss ball!" He shouted as the moss stopped at Fireheart's paws.
"I'm sure you're right" he praised his son earnestly. He looked over to Featherkit and noticed that she was far more enthralled with the snow falling to care about moss ball. This was their first leafbare after all, and Fireheart silently thanked StarClan for waiting till his kits were this old and hardy to let the snow fall, whether or not they actually had that power. So he beckoned Stormkit over and pointed to Featherkit, who was pouncing on falling snow
"Let's go keep your sister company. Come on" he whispered. And so the two bounded over to where she was and started pouncing at snowfall. Featherkit let out a surprised giggle when she saw them.
This was what he imagined when he thought about having kits. This perfect moment. So kind, and so joyful. Nothing's better than this. It wasn't long now before these kits would be apprentices working to make the clan stronger, and while Fireheart dreaded the thought of the harm that could come, he relished the thought of them succeeding and making a name for themselves, and for them to get out there, free of the camp boundaries. The prophecy has time, but these kits will be out of here sooner than he can blink, so right now there's no time like the present to be with them before they're all busy with their own thing. However, though he wasn't stricken, he still couldn't shake the thought of Bruno's face. Was she really planning to murder him? It all felt kind of surreal.
Just then, Graystripe entered the camp, saw the fun and immediately attempted to join in on the action.
It's now or never. He thought to himself. Fireheart stopped the ball. "You kits play, I need to talk to your father." He meowed, a little too angrily he realized when he saw his daughter's face turn to mischief.
"Ohh, dad's in trouble!" Featherkit called. Graystripe hesitated,
"What?" He frowned. Fireheart looked away,
"No he's not. Well, he is but- no, just get back to your game. We'll be done in a moment. And you" he pointed at his mate "come with me."
The gray warrior gulped and followed him out of the den. No turning back.
"I'm nervous Fireheart. Getting severe deja vu here." His mate called out from behind as he found a secluded spot. Then he rounded. Be kind. Be kind. Be kind.
"Okay look. Before I say anything, you know I love you, right?" He started, sitting on his haunches. Graystripe seemed to get the message and did the same, so they were facing each other.
"Of course I do." He sputtered. Fireheart continued,
"And you know that I know that you love our kits just as much as I do?" He mewed. Graystripe looked at him funny.
"Of cour- Fireheart, what is this about? You're scaring me now." He fumbled over his words.
Fireheart took a deep breath, organized his thoughts and spoke softly.
"What you said today, it felt really unfair. It really hurt me. Reminding me that I have kits to take care of? That was low." As he spoke, his frustration pushed to the surface, but he bogged it down. "It hurt because I'm the one saddled with feeding them, Cleaning them, getting them to sleep, laying awake all night when they won't sleep, teaching them and, and-" he cut himself off. "I- nevermind, I'm being selfish. I'm sorry-" He suddenly felt small. He tried to turn back and head to camp, his chest aching and weighing his muscles down, eyes to the floor. But as he did, he bumped into a mass.
"Wait." He heard Graystripe's voice. He looked up to see his mate staring at him, concern in his eyes.
"No, this is silly and kit-like. I shouldn't complain when you have to hunt and patrol all day while I stay at camp." he mumbled.
"I'm the one who's sorry. I shouldn't have said what I said. It was stupid and selfish and mean and so very — what does Featherkit like to say... uncalled for. It was a terrible thing to say and I should never make feel you like you're being a bad parent." He ended in a whisper. Fireheart stared at him and feebly reached for words or reciprocal comfort, but there were none. Everything Graystripe said was exactly how he felt.
Instead he just sat back down.
"It just... my chest just felt so sore when you said that." He whimpered, allowing his tail to flop down and stop pretending to be peppy. "I try my best everyday and sometimes I get it wrong, I know. But when you said what you said... I felt so small. And humiliated, that you said that in the middle of camp for everyone to hear. We're supposed to be a team and... I don't know... it was like... you betrayed me.." He sniveled, unable to meet the gaze of the one cat he was supposed to trust more than anyone.
"Oh, honey, I... I have no words." He mewed, his voice thick with regret. He pressed against Fireheart's side, encasing him in gray fluff. "I'm so sorry. I really am. Just know that I didn't mean anything by it. It was stupid and misdirected. You are the best and only mother for our kits. I'd never have anyone take your place. I love so you much. And if I step out of line again, feel free to flay me." He purred, lapping at Fireheart's cheek.
"Okay you oaf. I'll remember that" he whispered, purring into Graystripe's neck. He then stared down at the ground for a moment before looking back up. "And for the record, of those kits are ever silent enough for me to forget I have them, it'll be a dream come reality." He mewed jokingly and they both mreowed in laughter.
The two of them padded side by side back to camp.
When they got back, Stormkit was still busy playing moss with Tawnnykit and Branblekit, but Featherkit was sitting at the entrance waiting. When she spotted them she scampered up,
"Sooo? Did you get in trouble?" She pried.
"No he-" Fireheart began, but Graystripe cut him off, "I did something silly and your mother needed to tell me not to do it again. But he took me out of camp so I wouldn't feel embarrassed. Do you know why?" Fireheart felt sheepish at this display that could be mistaken for overly gratuitous if not for the fact that he knew Graystripe so well. This was absolutely earnest. "Because your mother is the best." He meowed, licking Featherkit's forehead. Then he whispered something unintelligible into her ear. The two looked at each other, at him and nodded. Now I'm nervous. He thought to himself. Just then the two dove at him will full force, knocking him over and wrapping him in a ball of fur and purrs.
"I love you, mom" Featherkit whispered. "You're also cooler than dad" she addded with a giggle, "hey! I didn't tell you to say that, you rascal. Come here!" He chased her around Fireheart, getting tangled once again, resulting in another collapse filled with giggling. It was only in a moment that Fireheart noticed a ball of kit barreling at them full-speed
"I'm coming in!" He heard Stormkit call as he leapt on top of them, landing with a giggle, and the four just lay there in a giggling mess.
"New rule." Graystripe spoke up. "Always tell someone if you're feeling sad, or angry. Or if there's anything you want to say. But do it respectfully."
"Yes dad!" The two said in unison, and Fireheart just smiled and giggled at them.
Indeed.
END OF CHAPTER
________________________