I still can't believe Hannah convinced me it's a good idea to write this but the more I think about it, the more I am digging it. I have a final look at it before I close my laptop and go to bed.
5 Reasons I Would Rather Date An Asshole Than A Nice Guy
Nice guys are like green smoothies, you know they are good for you and people claim to swear by their health benefits but nobody wants to drink a green smoothie on a Saturday night.
Whereas Assholes are like tequila, they free you of your inhibitions and unleash a side of you, you never knew existed.
There is a reason tequila is addictive, enslaving and oh so good!
1. A nice guy asks you what you want; an asshole tells you what you need.
A nice guy would ask me out on a date by offering to take me out on a meal by making me pick a place and a time that is convenient for me.
Even if he has to wait or go out of his way for me, he will because I am already a big deal to him. And If I flake, lord have mercy on the person who has to hear his whining.
An asshole will tell me he is busy but won't mind catching up for a drink on a Saturday night at 9 p.m. He's unbothered by me rejecting him and if I flake on him, he'll still have a great time without me.
2. A nice guy is passive and sensitive; an asshole is assertive and unapologetic.
The nice guy will share his feelings and tell me how beautiful I look. I already know that. He will pull the chair out for me on a date and give me his jacket if I am cold because he is invested.
An asshole will complement my dress or call me sexy. He will keep it superficial. He won't go out of his way to make me feel comfortable and that in turn will make the first date vibe less awkward and more casual. If he is more than just a regular asshole, he might spank my butt after the date, and I would take that over pulling the chair out for me every day.
3. A nice guy will text you to tell you he had a great time; an asshole will wait for you to do that
Even before I reach back home, the nice guy is already planning our next date and telling me how amazing my company was. I don't need that kind of confirmation in my life.
With an asshole, I am wondering the next day if I should text him or not. I am calling my girlfriends for advice and stalking him on social media wondering why he hasn't texted me yet. The assholes provide me the thrill I crave, and I will spend hours anticipating his next move.
4. A nice guy is a waste of good looks; an asshole becomes good looking.
No matter how good looking the nice guy is, if I know how he feels right off the bat, I am already looking elsewhere. The nice guy will catch feelings quick, and he won't stop talking about them.
With an asshole, looks are the icing on the cake. Even if he isn't good looking, it's his personality that makes up for it. With his carefree but slightly jerkish ways, he becomes at least an 8. The more aloof and busier he is, the more he reels me in. I want him to like me, and without realizing, I usually end up liking him.
5. A nice guy wants exclusivity; an asshole is all about keeping it inclusive
The nice guy wants to know where I was and if I am seeing someone other than him. He has already planned out the sandwiches he is making for us on our date in Central Park. In his mind, he and I are already an US.
With an asshole, it's all chill. He is still taking his own sweet time replying back to me. There is no hurry, and we both know we want to keep our options open. He is dreading the exclusivity question as much as I am.
Now, I am not saying that I won't drink green smoothies here and there, but I won't be swapping it for my bottle of tequila anytime soon.
"Out of all the people, this article is written by you!" Hannah remarks. I can be feisty, right?