Lonely here without you makes me miss you even when I shouldn't be thinking about you.
••°••°••°••°••
Play this song as you read 'Heaven' by Tatiana Manaois.
"You don't seem happy, " Kevin noted as he took my hand and we walked to his car. I had washed my face using freezing water to cover my puffy eyes but still it was easy to realize that I've been crying for the whole hour I had been waiting for Kevin to pick me.
"I'm okay, " I lied trying to sound more convincing. An hour since he left me sprawled on my bed and I just fucking miss him. It has been only a week after we hooked up but the emptiness I felt made me want him. We had grown so much close and I can't hide the longing I felt. My day will be long and I know I will lose my mind if we stay apart the whole weekend.
Did he agree on the wedding ? Maybe dumped me ?
"Huddah, what is the problem ?" Kevin snapped me as he opened the passenger door for me. I just hummed and stepped in without answering him. He shut the door and went to the right entering and this time took my hand and looked at me. "Anything to worry about ?" He pressed squezzing my hand.
"Some little family issues, " I lied. I should strungle this feeling to avoid the uneasiness I felt.
"I'm sorry, all will be well, " he believed my words and drove away. I shut my eyes shaking all the shit between me and Jamal. I know it isn't that easy to forget him but I will try at least for some hours.
"I didn't know you would surely find time for us to hang out, I thought you were joking, " he said smiling. I inwardly giggled imagining how he would feel if he happens to know the truth. If Jamal didn't leave me then I could not have called him of course. I'm shitty, right ?
"I was serious when I agreed to hang out with you plus I had missed you, " I lured trying to make myself as comfortable as I could. It was true I always miss him even though I was using him today to distract my mind from the guy I'm in love with.
"Oh, I always miss you too, sometimes I feel as if you hate me, " he softly spoke hurt evidence on his tone.
"I don't hate you Kevin, " I spoke taking my phone from the small bag I carried.
"The way you act, like you don't even wear my necklace anymore. "
Dammit! I didn't know he realised that I've never worn it since that morning. My boss has so much occupied my mind and I almost forgot all about Kevin. As if that's not enough I forgot all about his gifts.
"I forgot it today, " I hurriedly answered to cover the nervousness.
"Do you like me Huddah ?"
I felt something cross my stomach and I was wondering how the hell I will answer all these serious questions, obviously I don't like him. My boss maybe such a bitch and break my heart but I'm not able to love Kevin. I just should make him my friend, right ?
"I don't know about that , " I answered wondering what else I would have said. He went silent and I figdeted on my seat. I hope he won't throw me through the window and leave me to be crushed to death. I know how it feels to constantly like someone who doesn't care about you.
I can never cut myself into pieces and satisfy all of them. I think they have to accept and give up on me.
"I like you so much Huddah, since that day I came in your office, I thought I will have a chance with you, " he said on a serious tone concentrating on the road. Geez! This day gonna be long too. "You were good to me and I was glad to take things slow for the two months but you even don't want to see me these days."
The hell with me is what I don't know. I played with his feelings but it was all clear that I can never fall in love with him. I'm fucked up here guys, I think I should have stayed locked in my bedroom crying my shits away.
"I tried liking you Kevin but I don't know why it was hard. You were good to me and I always miss your company , " my mouth was quick at that. I was being honest today.
"So you don't view me as the boring type ?"
"Oh no, I just love all the places you take me and enjoy each moment we hang out, " I elaborated. I said the Jones family gonna be the end of me. I will be forever giving excuses without either of them understanding. Amazing!
"You have been busy this past week, hooked up or something ?" He shocked me with the question and I felt butterflies fill my stomach running like crazy. Fuck! So he had been stalking me maybe, I mean he realized I was busy. Damn me!
"Busy with meetings , " I lied for the hundrerh time.
"You haven't answered my question yet. "
Kevin!
He will kill me with his persistence.
"I'm not hooked up Kevin, " I pressed and I heard him heave a sigh of relief. So he want to hear I'm single all my life ? Kidding!
"I'm not giving up on you baby, I will win this game one day. Trust me. "
I was silent cause I fucking know the game he want to win. For two months he had won nothing , not even a kiss from me yet he is dreaming of winning my love. Focused guy, keep your shits together.
"Where are you taking me today ?"
"Swimming , " he answered and chuckled. He must be kidding.
"I didn't bring my swimming costume, " I whined causing him to laugh more.
"Everything is taken care of baby, " he lured and that word was honestly tasteless coming from his mouth. I expected someone else to call me that. I shook the thought away.
"You should have told me earlier, " I huffed checking if anyone had called me or texted me when I was asleep.
"I didn't know you will tell me to pick you this early, " he said and I muffled a laugh. He doesn't know why I called him this early, he would surely kill me for that. I mean I'm just using him as my back up plan and it feels bad to do so.
"Next time I will alert you early, " I said concentrating on my phone.
"Here we are, " he announced parking the car. We walked out as a cold fresh air hit us. I want to enjoy my time here and forget all about the problems I have. I'm gonna forget all about Jamal too. I mean I should, not an optional here.
"You like this place ?" He ask taking my hand as we strolled down the place. At the left a big building probably a hotel was there. A large swimming pool was at the center and several other small classic round built Makuti sorounded the place. It was like a resting place as we neared one of the Makuti house.
"Yeah,it's cool, " I answered.
"Wanna take something little before we go swim?"
"Just a drink, I have no appetite today, " I said walking to the fridge and took a bottle of fanta. This place looked more for commoners and I was glad he didn't take me to those mysterious places he always takes me to.
"Oh no, let's take wine, " he pouted as I held the fanta bottle with me.
"I'm not in the mood for a strong drink, maybe another day, " I said pasting a smile to avoid hurting him further. I can never obviously drink this early.
"Ops, my girl isn't cooperative today, " he said taking coke and two straws. He paid and we went back to his car. I looked at my phone, almost two hours and the guy I thought loved me hasn't called me yet. The company I had with Kevin didn't fill the slightly growing hole in me. I wanted someone I can hold and kiss, maybe laugh genuinely with him.
"I heard the news , " Kevin snapped me. "About Mr Robinson company, " he added opening the backseat and took a small bag with him.
" My boss is really stressed about it, " I said drinking slowly.
"I have to talk to him privately,you know blood remains thicker no matter how bitch he gets, " I almost spat the drink I was taking. I know Jamal is an ass but they should fucking understand him. He has that good part of him that only few people know of it.
"Oh, " I managed to mumble as I pressed my lips into a thin line.
"Everyone deserves some love such times, " he said and I just ignored his words and looked heavenward. "Here is what I managed to get. " he said adding me a new boxer short.
"Oh no, I can't wear that one Kevin, " I whined refusing to take it from him.
"I'm being a little bit romantic here Huddah, please have it, " he begged.
"Kevin you're crazy, " I said taking the shorts from him as I looked at them weirdly.
"They may be buggy to you but you will look sexy in them, I promise. "
"Kevin, stop your words, anyway I don't want to wear them but I will do it for you, " I said removing my skinny jeans and hurriedly wore the shorts.
"You're hot girl, I knew they will fit you, " he said giggling.
"They are worn by men not ladies, " I huffed and I heard him laugh more. He really want to get into my nerves.
"I know, next time I will buy a booty short for you, " he said in between laughter and I found him cute. That is one thing I like about him, his company is never boring. So how the hell I never fell for him is what I don't know.
"I definetly expect such a thing from you. " Always cocky.
"Anyway show me some love cause I got this, " he said throwing a transparent white tanktop at me. I laughed my ass off as I imagined where the hell he got this from.
"Ooh Kevin!" I said holding it loving the colour. Pink tanktop and a white boxer short. I'm like a walking rainbow.
"You remember telling me your best colour ?" He ask and damn, he really remember every conversation we make.
"I'm glad you still remember, " I said walking to him and hugged him tightly. That's the least thing I can do to him. He had already removed his vest and his bare chest was cute to look at. He wore a black shorts. Holding my hand we walked together to swim. Fortunately I knew how to swim and this time I'm not gonna embarass myself.
"Our drinks, " I said remembering and hurriedly turned to to take them. I hope I will enjoy my day.
"Be quick, " he said as I neared the car. I heard my phone ringing and I was shocked. Who the fuck would that be ?
My mind was in a cloudy confusion as I slowly checked the caller ID.
Unknown.
Fucking Jamal. What does he want from me or is he coming back to break with me after planning their wedding. Oh my! I'm gonna go crazy today.
I looked at the screen several things running in my mind. The call ended and that's is the time my mind started thinking. One more second and my phone was ringing again.
I was getting more confused as I contemplated whether to pick or throw my phone in the car and join Kevin.
My eyes were glued on the screen as the call ended. I fucking miss him but he has really disappointed me. I expected something better from him.
Third ring and I had not decided yet but I received the call anyway to calm my nerves.
"Hello, " I heard him say and immediately my throat went dry. I missed his voice and my eyes were becoming watery without even knowing.
"Hey, " I mumbled.
"Where are you ?"
"Somewhere ,I think you shouldn't be concerned anyway."
"Huddah where are you ?"
"None of your business Jamal, I'm having fun, " I yelled feeling the emptiness in me grow further. I miss him but here we are yelling at each other. Two fucking hours were too long and he just don't know how empty I feel.
"Doing what ?" He ask again angrily.
"Swimming , " I responded trying to get into his nerves. He deserve that.
"Baby, why did you go alone ?" He ask calmly and the missment I had for him doubled. I mean I should be with him. Damn me!
"I'm not alone, we are with Kevin, " I said honestly cause I know he will obviously pester me further.
"Oh no! You're with Kevin baby ?"
"Yes, and don't fucking baby me Jamal. You left me hurt remember, " I said feeling like throwing my phone away.
"You should have waited for me. "
"You shouldn't have left me , " I said and the first tear drop slipped my eyes.
"I can't believe you're with Kevin Huddah, why him ?" He scoffed angrily.
"Why Vera , " I barked.
"Which place are you at ?"
"I said that's none of your business Jamal , " I gulped hesintatly.
"That's my business baby, I can't fucking concentrate if you're with that little bitch. "
"Hung up, I want to enjoy my time, " I said angrily even though I didn't mean anything I was saying.
"Huddah where are you at ?"
"I won't tell you."
"You will tell me baby or I order people to look for you, " he was maddening.
"Leave me Jamal, " our shouting are lasting longer today.
"Trust me I will do that if you fail to tell me, " he threatened and shit I hate loving him.
" DownValley hotel."
********
I can't believe I updated twice today.
Vote and comment guys.
Do you love the drama above ?
Another update tomorrow.