**This is a trigger warning. There is suicidal behavior ahead in this chapter. It is not something I'm promoting but a necessary part of the storyline. If you have thoughts like that, please. Talk to someone. No one is ever truly alone.
****
Antares woke up and lay there for a moment in the silence of the room. The amulet on his chest grew warm and he glanced down to see a blue glow fading. Frowning, he picked it up to examine it, but it was just a pretty stone flashing in the light. Dismissing it, he sighed and dropped the necklace. There was a sickening feeling in his gut and that was never a good thing. That feeling had brought him home early that fateful dawn centuries past. It had saved Romulus' life.
He reached a hand out to wake Romulus, only to encounter cold sheets. Propping up on one elbow, he was greeted with an untouched pillow. He growled briefly. This had to end. Rome needed his sleep. Antares stood and pulled on sweatpants. Then went to Rome's office, intending on dragging him to bed.
It was empty and the sick feeling grew as he saw Rome's phone laying on the desk. Again shoving it back, he went downstairs after pulling on a shirt. The club was busy as it usually was, day or night. Seeing the hostess dealing with patrons, he caught her eye. She excused herself with a nod and went over to an empty corner. She smiled as he walked over, brushing past those trying to get his attention.
"What can I do for you?" she inquired.
"Rose, have you seen Romulus today?" he asked. She nodded with a concerned frown. He knew he looked rough, but he must be really bad to warrant that look.
"Earlier today. He said he was going to go check on Lyra, a few hours ago. He isn't back yet?"
The sickness intensified and was traveling up to his heart. Without answering, Antares went out the door and down the street. He broke into a jog, something inside him urging him to hurry. Faster. Faster.
Everything was fine, he assured himself, hand toying with the necklace around his neck. Everything was..
"Antares, my love..." Romulus' hoarse voice whispered in his mind brokenly. The connection kept slipping as if Romulus was slowly getting weaker. "Where are you? I can't find you.."
Antares panicked and began to run. He shoved people out of the way and ran faster. He reached her apartment and flew up the side stairs. His breath was ragged now, lungs burning. He was reaching for the door handle when he smelled something that sent grief arrowing through his heart.
Blood and death.
Denial struck him hard as he pushed open the unlocked door. Following his nose, he went to where the smell came from. Through her living room, that still smelled faintly of polish and cleaning. Through the bedroom that spoke more of the same. A notebook lay on the bed and he started to pick it up. He heard a low moan and dropped it onto the bed. He pushed open the bathroom door and a nightmare greeted his eyes.
An anguished sound came from him as he hit the floor, his strong legs giving out. She was in the small bathtub, blood turning the water around her a light red that darkened by the second. How could she still be so beautiful like that? If wasn't for the blood, he'd think her asleep in her bath. He willed her to open her eyes, for her chest to move, but there was nothing. Beside her on the floor was Rome with his hand next to her slightly parted lips. Blood trailed down his muscular arm and down her bare shoulder. The man's eyes were closed and his breathing shallow.
Antares slid across the floor and next to Rome; disbelief and shock coursing through him. Blood and water soaked his pants unnoticed as he reached for his mate.
"No. No, Rome. You can't do this. You swore you wouldn't. You promised me!" Antares said desperation raking its claws over his heart. Opening his eyes with an obvious effort, Rome lifted a weak hand to Antares' face, smearing it with blood. His skin was paler than it should've been and his touch was cold. Antares held the hand to his face, unable to speak. He was too far gone. He hadn't been feeding and was already weakened before this. Pressure began building and his breathing became difficult.
"I didn't break my promise. I was just trying to save her. Why couldn't I save her, Antares?" Romulus met his eyes, his fading dark eyes overflowing with love and apology. "I am so sorry... I never meant to leave you. I swear...Gods, you're so beautiful..."
"I can't lose both of you," Antares whispered hoarsely, the pain ripping at him. "I just can't. I won't survive alone."
"She was alone." Romulus' mental voice was almost dreamy as he slipped further"That's why. That's what she was thinking right before... Why couldn't she just come home?"
"She didn't think she had one," Antares answered thickly. He slid underneath Romulus and held him close, then reached over for Lyra's hand. "I just wish she had known that she did. She always had one."
"Always..." Romulus agreed, his mental voice growing fainter. The pressure in his chest grew as he heard Rome's heart whisper to a stop. He knew this desperate pain, had brushed up against it before. This was grief but on a level no person was ever supposed to experience. That no soul could endure.
Antares' gaze fell to the bloody blade on the floor. It was a simple stainless steel knife. The iron in it had never touched him. Yet it had managed to cut his heart out just the same. He would see if it could pierce it as well. He couldn't live without them. He wouldn't. Despair would turn him into a monster that no one would be able to hold back.
"Wait for me, my love," Antares said mentally. He pressed a soft kiss first to her hand, then to Rome's cold mouth. He wanted their taste on his lips one more time. He linked their fingers together so that Rome and Lyra held hands as he wrapped one arm around Romulus.
He remembered the words he'd once spoken to Rome. That once united nothing could stop their family. He thought about the bliss they had briefly had. The feel of Rome's fangs in his neck. The smell of her.
Then picked up the blade with his free hand. The iron in the steel nipped at his fingers as he gripped it firmly. The amulet around his neck began glowing with a blinding light as the blade lowered.
***
Rome hung up his phone and sighed. Well, now he would just have to wait a few days before he pushed them any further. Unease sat in his stomach. Antares hadn't slept easy since Lyra had left. Due to his own weakness, Rome admitted. Antares never slept well alone and he had been unable to walk into their bedroom. The scent of them both haunted him and taunted him with a reminder of his own mistakes. He had pushed them too hard and now she was gone. He shook his head and focused on the day's paperwork. There were suppliers to compensate and dues to pay to maintain his club's status as a sanctuary. He bent his head and focused, pushing back the unease.
At the first mental sob, Rome's head came up from his paperwork. He reached out mentally and grew concerned when there was just nothing. Antares' mind was never closed to him. Ever. He tossed the pen down and started walking towards the bedroom where Antares lay sleeping. He heard the mental sobbing get worse and went into the bedroom. Her scent teased him.
He hesitated briefly, then hating himself for the flaw, he shoved the fear back. Jaw set, he pushed the door open and was engulfed in their scent. Knees weak, he swallowed hard. Then he heard it.
"Wait for me, my love,"
He saw Antares' chest stop moving but even before that, he heard a silence that ripped out his soul. The sound of Antares' heart as it ceased to beat.
Rome bolted to their bed and slid his hands over Antares desperately. Trying to find the wound. He found nothing but the perfection that was Antares. Giving up, he began CPR. Repeatedly breathed into him, willing his mate to live.
The necklace glowed blue against Antares' dark skin. Fury filled him and he ripped it off, tossing it in the corner. That witch would pay dearly for that. As soon as he brought Antares back.
"No. You don't get to do this, Antares!" His voice was shaking with anger and fear. He did CPR again and again, refusing to stop.
A world without Antares wasn't possible. It was that simple. It couldn't happen.
"Come on, don't do this to me!" he pleaded as he performed chest compressions. He broke, halfway through a breath and buried his dark head against Antares' neck. "You promised you would never leave," he whispered in an agonized voice.
"Put the necklace back on him." a familiar rough voice said in his head. Silver eyes flashed impatiently in his mind like a slap to the face."Grieve now and you'll grieve forever. Just do it, before he tries to follow you into the afterlife."
"That makes no sense. I'm right..." Romulus felt a mental shove and he sat back, trying to think. He scrambled off the bed and picked up the still glowing stone. "You had better be right, Julius or that witch is dead," he said softly.
Rome went back to Antares and laid the amulet carefully on his chest. With a flash of light, the glow from the stone shot into the still form. Antares shot straight up, gasping. His eyes fell on Rome's desperately relieved face and he pulled the other man forward for a hungry kiss. With a groan filled with joy, Rome dove into the kiss. Antares pulled back to rest his forehead on Rome's.
"Don't ever leave me," he said hoarsely, his whole body shaking. "I wouldn't survive it." He kissed Romulus again, tears turning the kiss salty.
"I'll make the promise if you promise to never scare me like that again." Rome offered. Antares pulled back with a questioning look. It was then he noticed the shaking hands of the always steady warrior. The smell of fear that hung heavy in the air. "What happened?" Rome asked hoarsely, drawing Antares' attention away from his hands. Antares struggled to pull in his own rioting emotions but failed.
"Thank you, Julius." Romulus sent as his lover tried to begin.
"You're welcome. Next time, try not to shout quite so loud. You ruined a perfectly good hangover. I'll collect on the debt another time." The sarcastic voice was amused and then it was gone altogether.
"Remind me that I owe Julius another favor later," Rome said hoarsely. He looked at the grief in Antares' eyes and thought about the last few minutes. "Forget about filling me in on what happened. It can wait on more important things."
"Like what? And why did you mention Julius?" Antares asked, for once oblivious. Romulus nuzzled his face gently. Soothing had never been what he was good at. But for Antares...
"Like waiting on me to get that look out of your eyes and assure us both that our family is whole..."
"But it isn't." Antares pulled back in time to see the pain flash through Rome's eyes. He tried to explain. "You don't understand. Bite me so you can see what I saw. I...I don't think I could repeat it. You were dead. Both of you were." His head turned and he stood. "I have to go see her. She has to know..."
"Wait a minute, Antares. Antares..dammit.." Romulus caught up to him in the VIP before he went out the door. "Would you wait?"
"For what? I need to see her." Antares started to pull away and Romulus tightened his grip on Antares' arm.
"And I need a minute to find out what the hell is going on before my risen from the dead mate goes running off down the street!" he said forcefully. "Your heart stopped beating, Antares! You weren't breathing and there was nothing I could do that was bringing you back. Give me a damn minute." He cursed and let go to pace. "What was happening?" he asked in a more reasonable tone as Antares looked out the window overlooking the club. "Just talk to me."
"She killed herself," Antares said quietly, staring out into the crowd through the glass.
"In the dream." Rome clarified.
"It didn't feel like a dream usually feels, Rome. It felt real. Until I woke up and your arms went around me..." his voice broke and Rome stopped pacing to come over. He didn't say anything just took Antares' hand and interlaced their fingers. "Until that moment, I thought I had lost you both."
"What do you mean both?" Rome asked. Antares took a deep breath as Rome led them to the couch to sit. Rome didn't think Antares realized it but the dark man was shaking. He needed to sit.
"You had gone to check on her because you had a bad feeling. I can only assume that when you saw her, you tried to save her by turning her, but she was too far gone."
"That would have killed me in my current state. At least your dream didn't have me breaking my promise on purpose," Rome teased gently. Antares shook his head in denial.
"It was more than a dream. I think it was a premonition of things to come if we don't change it. She was alone and couldn't take it..." he raised pleading eyes to Rome's. "We have to talk her into coming home. She has to know she's not alone. Please, Rome. We're her family."
"Alright," Rome said simply, pressing a kiss to the back of the hand he held. Antares paused.
"I thought I would have to talk you into it," he said slowly, the trembling slowly easing. Rome ran a hand over Antares' cheek and into his hair, letting the starbursts flow over his fingers. Something inside him slowly unclenched. He met Antares' gaze.
"Right now, you could ask me for anything and I would give it to you," he said with emotion roughening his voice. "I was thinking about it anyway. This is easy enough because you're right."
A knock on the door interrupted Antares' response. They could both smell the doorman on the other side.
"Not now," Romulus called out with an edge in his voice.
"Sir, you don't want this guy having the run of the place," Stan said through the door.
Rome inhaled deeply and his eyes darkened with anger.
"Go ahead, Stan," he said in a controlled voice, then squeezed Antares' hand. "Do you want to go back to bed?"
"I'm not letting you out of my sight for a while." Antares shook his head, struggling to pull in the emotion. Rome nodded, relief going through him.
"I'm not going to try to leave your sight. We'll figure out what happened later."
"It was the amulet that triggered something, I think." Antares began then the knock on the door was repeated louder.
"I don't have all night for the two of you to play kissy face." the impatient voice on the other side of the door said irritably.
"Let Vincent in, Stan," Rome said getting to his feet. The door swung open and Vincent walked in. "For a man with a delicate mate, you seem to be leaving her alone a lot recently."
"You need to back off the inquiries into getting the ban lifted before you get people killed," he said bluntly not even acknowledging Antares. The darker man just smiled and stretched out on the sofa. He should have known, he thought wryly. Romulus was still working on fixing her problem.
"Why? To make your life easier? I told you my priorities, Vincent. I suggest you deal with them." Rome said with a shrug. "My priority is making sure she knows she's not on her own."
"It won't kill Lyra to be alone for a while," Vincent said impatiently then stopped at the growl that came from the couch, silencing Rome's reply.
"What did you just say?" Antares said, standing slowly, eyes bright blue with the shimmering colors under his skin glowing.
"I said she'll survive alone. She doesn't need either of you..."
Vincent hit the far wall with Antares' hand wrapped around his throat. Rome watched, a little stunned. And if he was being honest, more than a little turned on. That was hot. It was also out of character for his peace-loving mate.
"Says the man who abandoned her. If that's all you came here to say, then leave. Before I make you think you have a three-way relationship with your mate and the closest hellhound I can find." he shoved Vincent away and went back to the glass, breathing ragged. His fists clenched at his sides.
"What's going on?" Vincent said, pushing off from the wall and clearing his throat. "What do you know?" Now the man picks up on something, Rome thought disgustedly. After upsetting Antares.
"That she wouldn't survive. A premonition was given that let us in on that," Rome said after a moment of Antares ignoring the man. That was definitely hot. Extremely bad timing, but still hot.
"You're sure?" Vincent said slowly, his eyes dark. Rome nodded. "Then forget what I said. Just know that you have to protect her. I do care about her, you know. Hurt her and there will be consequences."
"Yes, because we're so afraid of you," Romulus said sarcastically. "Get out of here before he loses that grip on the instincts inside of him."
Vincent went out the door, signaling his people on the way out. Antares spoke, his voice rough and needy.
"You said you would do anything?"
"I did."
"Then hold me. And when I go to bed, I don't sleep alone. We don't sleep at all."
"Done," Rome said simply.
From a table across the wall, Lyra watched Vincent stalk out then looked back up as Rome came up behind Antares and wrap his arms around him, resting his chin on Antares' shoulder. She set her drink down with a trembling hand. They both looked so lost.
But they were alive, she reminded herself. It had just been a dream.
Just a dream.