The weekends now over and I've got to face what's coming next...
Monday.
The worst day of the week is here. Again. I spent the weekend with Mia and sometimes Josh. I actually think they're pretty good together and she's definitely good for Josh, he looks so happy when he's with her.
I haven't spoken to Cole since the party. Sorry let me correct myself, I haven't seen Cole since I was a total bitch to him.
I have English second period today so it means that I'll see him at some point, I feel a little nervous. I just hope we're okay.
Anyways, trying to put that to the back of my mind, I head to school with Josh as we plan to meet Mia there. Both Nadia and Mark have talked about getting me a car and the first thing I thought was 'hell no'.
A car is too much to be given. An 'I-hope-you're-settling-in-well' present is a candle or chocolates. Not a freaking car. I'm not being ungrateful, It's a wonderful gift but I can't accept it.
They said that if I won't accept it then there's a car they don't use that I can have but that's still too much. Once Josh and I get to school, we don't even have time to meet Mia as the bells goes straight after we get there.
As the teacher drones on about photosynthesis, I feel myself start to drift off into sleep. After what was probably onto a two-minute nap, I wake up due to loud cough noises and when I'm brought back to reality, I'm greeted with stares from the whole class and a glare from my teacher.
"As you need it so desperately, how about you catch up on lost sleep in detention after school." It isn't a question it's more of an order and too tired to argue, I just nod my head agreeing.
Even though I feel my teacher's eyes still on me, I close my eyes, nearly falling asleep again. Luckily, to save me from any more consequences, the bell goes waking me up completely.
Stepping into my next class, I take my usual seat and the first thing I notice is that he isn't here.
Why isn't he here? Is he okay? It can't be because of what happened at the party, can it?
Once English has finished, I walk out of class and the rest of the day goes by—slowly might I add. My curiosity of where Cole is hasn't died down and when on my way to health, my last lesson, a familiar figure is stood at his locker.
If he's in school why wasn't he in English this morning?
I somehow find the courage to walk up and tap him on the shoulder. He turns round to look who it is and he acknowledges me but turns back around, ignoring me completely.
Okay, maybe he is pissed...
"Hey, how come you weren't in English today?" He doesn't answer me and he just continues putting stuff into his bag.
"Hey, come on, answer me. I know I was rude at the party and I'm sorry, is that why you're ignoring me?" He still hasn't answered me and I'm starting to lose my patience. If he doesn't want to speak to me he should just say, not let me make a fool of myself for him to ignore my apology.
But what if he was upset with what I said? That makes me feel guilty for growing so exasperated so quickly. I shouldn't expect him to just forgive me straight away.
"Is that why you missed English, because of what I said?" I mumble the question and I'll be surprised if he can even hear what I'm saying. The middle of my chest starts to ache when he doesn't say anything but the sudden slam of his locker makes me jump.
"I missed English because I wasn't prepared for you to ask me fifty questions and no it's not because of you acting like a bitch last weekend. Is that a good enough answer for you?" He hisses and I almost stumble at how harsh his response is. So it wasn't me yet he continues to act like a dick, taking his problems out on me.
Maybe this is what the real Cole is like. The way everyone else makes him out to be.
"So it wasn't me but because you're in a bad mood you are taking it out on me? I'm sorry for even trying to make an effort with you, I'll be sure to not bother you anymore if I'm that much of a 'bitch'." I head in the opposite direction to where health is so it looks like I'm going to be late because I'm not going back past him now.
"Andie, come on, wait." I don't stop and keep walking. Two of us can play at this game.
"Princess..." He draws out, well that one's knew. Somehow, and I don't know how he even did it, he's now stood in front of me. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean any of that, I shouldn't take my problems out on you, It won't happen again."
He rubs the top of my arm and it burns but in a good way. I look at his hand and when he removes it, it's like I can still feel it there.
I nod, "Just know I am here if you wanna talk, you know, that's what friends are for after all." Near the end of the sentence, it looks like his smile dropped slightly but it changes to a bigger one afterwards. I just can seem to figure out if it's fake or not.
"You sure are lucky, I—the sexy Cole Jones—friends with," He looks at me faking disgust, "you." I try to hide my laughter as much as I can and fake hurt.
"Anyone would die to be friends with me and yet, I can't exactly figure out why I'm your friend. You have an ego the size of Europe and might I add an ugly ass freaking face.
He stares at me unimpressed but I just laugh, him joining in with me.
******
It's been two whole weeks and nothing worth discussing has happened. I have computer technology next, why this is compulsory for students to take I don't know because I know that I won't use this ever in my life. Cole's in the lesson with me and I swear I have more lessons with Cole than I do with Josh and Mia put together.
I've been getting to know Cole more each day and I sit in the class waiting for him to turn up and he does, finally, 10 minutes late. Not exactly a shock, I should be used to him being anything but punctual by now. He slumps down into his chair, dropping his bag down beside him.
"I didn't know your real name was Mandy." Is the first thing he says to me and I panic.
How the hell did he find that out? I look at where he's pointing and my name is there being displayed on the screen, my full name.
MANDY MITCHELL
I kind of just nod and don't say anything else. I hate being called Mandy. Only she can call me that.
"I know Mandy but I'm going to be just fine. A few rounds of chemo and I should be just fine."
"But what if you're not?" I ask, sobbing into her shoulder.
I'm thrown out of my thoughts when Cole starts speaking. "Screw all the other nicknames I've come up with, I'm using Mandy." He starts laughing, teasing me slightly. I'd prefer the cringe pet names any day over Mandy.
I grit my teeth slightly and I think he knows I hate it. I would've told him it was Mandy if I wanted to be called that. "So, Mandy, do you know what we're meant to be doing?"
"Mandy," My mum draws out " Can you do the dishes? I'm too tired." She looks a little pale but she must've just had a hard day at work.
"Fine." I groan and walk to the kitchen while she heads to her bedroom.
"Night honey."
I ball my hands up, "Can you just not call me that."
"Well, Mandy, you can't stop me. The fact you hate it makes me want to call you it even more."
"Mandy, you'll remember that I'll always love you, won't you?"
All of a sudden I'm back in the hospital room and it's happening all over again. My vision slowly starts to blur as my eyes begin to fill with unshed tears.
I know I have to get out of here before I make a fool of myself so I just grab my stuff walking out of class, ignoring Cole's calls behind me.
By the time I get home I'm greeted by no one, not that I expected anyone to be home. Knowing that both Josh and Mia are gonna be wondering where I am by the time it comes to lunch, I text them both the same thing: Hey, I went home. Wasn't feeling too good. x
Josh responds with just 'Okay' meanwhile Mia wishes I get better soon. Halfway through my bag of chips while watching Netflix, I sigh loudly to myself. This really isn't as fun and enjoyable as it was with mum...
Even The Vampire Diaries isn't distracting me from how angry I am at Cole. I think maybe I'm just overreacting but he had to push, push and push until I couldn't be near him any longer.
Sometimes I can understand why Josh despises him. Harsh? Maybe, but at the minute that is how I feel.
I haven't left the sofa for hours and by the slamming of the door and pattering of footsteps, it isn't hard to figure out that Josh is finally home.
"Hey, you feeling better?" He strolls in and abruptly stops behind me. "Well I thought you were ill but I'm guessing that isn't the case." He comments sarcastically, gesturing at all the empty food packets on the floor and sofa.
"Yeah, I know. Cole pissed me off." I grumble, shoving a handful of skittles into my mouth. I finished the bag of chips long, long ago.
"What did he do? I swear to god if he did anything to you." He starts cracking his knuckles and I cringe at the sound.
"No, its nothing really, just me overreacting a bit. He brought some stuff up I didn't like, that's all." He looks at me suddenly concerned.
"And that's what exactly?" He presses the matter a little more and I swallow, my mouth suddenly dry. Even the thought of my name causes pain in the centre of my chest.
"Cole found out my full name and he kept teasing me with it, refusing to call me anything else even if I told him to stop." I pick at the dry skin around my nails and sigh.
"I know it seems pathetic but it's what she called me. I feel like now that she's gone she is the only one who can call me that like I owe her that much. It was her thing, no one else's and it should stay that way." Josh stands there for a few seconds, just silent, but then he walks over and hugs me.
"I can't exactly say I understand because I'm not in your position but it's not pathetic at all, Andie. Everything is still so... I don't know... raw? She hasn't been gone long and even the slightest memory of her can upset you. I wouldn't expect it to be any different."
I smile appreciatively for what he just said. "Thank you."
Josh's words made me realise I have people around to help me. Even though I'm extremely grateful for the people around me, I can't help but feel that I need someone in my life who can help take away the pain entirely. Sometimes it feels too unbearable.
I just hope if there is someone out there who can help,
they show up sooner rather than later...
>>>>>>>
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
Hey guys, I'm sorry I haven't updated in so long:( I was revising and studying for my exams as it was my last year of school but now I'm stuck in quarantine with my exams cancelled so now I have six months off school with nothing to do atm:/ Hope you are all listening to what you are being advised and make sure to stay safe!! I'll be sure to update as much as possible as reading is definitely helping me pass time at the moment🤣
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P.S: I've just finished the DIMILY series (first book is 'Did I Mention I Love You' and words can't express how much I loved the series🥺 I would defo recommend xx
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