Chapter 15
“Because yo ass can’t walk around in ghetto Seattle like that you hoe.”
I laugh and twerk at his words.
“Get out Harryliantwan, before I smack you out.” I say laughing.
I am not laughing cause he is funny, I am laughing cause I feeling high, maybe I smoked weed, I don’t even know anymore. He looks at me, and runs his hands through his mop, why the fuck does he always do that, fucking shit.
“Theresandra, I really….” He’s cut off by my momma busting through the door.
“Tessandra! Hey baby doll.” My mother shouts.
“Harrliantwan, put your clothes on before my mom fucking bangs you.” I whisper and grab his clothes and put them on him.
“I am not putting them on, yo’ mama pretty hot.” He says, and I twerk my way to the door.
I open the door, and check the mirror, because gotta make momma proud. When I open the door, my momma, and Nowaqua are twerking, and my momma looks high.
“What are y’alls asses doing here?” I ask them, and my mom twerks pass me, and pets Harryliantwan’s mop.
“Tessandra, I thought yo’ ass would go for the hot blondie, but yo’ ass went for the ratchet ass seaweed boy.” She groans.
My blood boils, because she thought I was gonna for the blondie, when she clearly had red hot burning love for that boy.
“Tessandra, why yo’ ass wearin’ those clothes?”
“Tessandra, yo’ ass not looking fine, fix yo’ weave.”
“I think you should twerk a little better, gotta impress them boys.”
She always twerks her way in, and steals all my hot friends, like bitch no. My momma need to stop telling me how to twerk, and shit. I am my own person, call me Queen mom. I am the boss of yo’ ass bitch.
“Yo’ ass ain’t college ready, you don’t know how to party.” She says giving me a fierce eye.
Bitch its on, no one tells me I ain’t ready to do shit. I am queen, and no one ever stops me. I can twerk the way I want, I can wear my weave the way I want, and I surely can wear booty popping dresses the way I want. Ain’t no one tell me other, cause I am a bad bitch, that loves chipotle.
“Wanna play flappy bird with me?” Harrliantwan says, and I wanna slap his flappy dick away. Where the fuck did he get another phone?
He has no idea how much she loves flappy dick. Maybe this will become a good ass relationship. I like what I am doing.
“Yes, please. I really love flappy bird.” my mom giggles.
Well fuck, once again my weed smokin’ mama stole my lover, and I wanna throw this bitch into a trash of burning aluminum, and shoot her up with some molly. Yes.
“Bitch.” I say through my booty.
I am not sure why I am twerking, but I am. Nowaqua looks at me, then twerks for Harrliantwan. Is he king now? Does he wanna know I fucked Harrliantwan? He won’t want his ass anymore.
“Tessaniqua, yo’ ass cant tell me what to do, I wanna play flappy bird with this cupcake boy Harrliantwan.” She says, looking towards cupcake bitch Harryliantwan.
“I am not letting you become a fucking addict with that pokemon shit, mom. He will ruin yo’ mind with his flappy dick.” I sit down after my Abraham Lincoln like speech, and she twerks.
“Could you fucking give us a minute?” She ask Harrliantwan, and cupcake Harrliantwan leaves.
My momma explains to me how she was twerking so fine tonight, and thought she would come over and party with me, and she is disappointed to find me in my dorm, twerking with a flappy dick boy. Then she says I should start doing squats cause my booty ain’t looking fine.
“Since we are twerking here, lets go get some chipotle, and maybe twerk eh?” My momma says, and Nowaqua smiles.
I nod and start twerking.
Tip #7: Suggest Chipotle to Queen Tessandra, and she will booty pop.
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