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Chapter 50
Redemption
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Warning: time for yall to see what the pot stirrer has been stirring this whole book AKA major plo twist ahead
Before we start i want to thank all of you for giving my book a chance and sticking with me this far but a special thanks to Pettymonger for not only being a loyal reader but becoming a great friend and helping me when i got writers block, listening to my abstract ideas and motivating me to keep writing but especially when i was depressed and listening. No bullshit shes the reason i didnt give up when that one chick tried to steal my book.
It was amazing how quickly N'jadaka and i always gravitated towards another. No matter how far away, or big the crowd or the size of the room. I cant help but smile sitting next to him as i think about how far we've come from.
Found the truth beneath your lies
He lied...alot. But i understand his reasoning and his pain. I see why he hid things he did.
And true love never has to hide
True love never has to hide
Regardless of the things we hid about ourselves and from another one thing we never hid was our love for each other.
I'll trade your broken wings for mine
Trade your broken wings for mine
I know sometimes he still feels the pain of it. I can see it in the way his jaw clenches, his muscles tighten and his eyes lose focus.His past, our past together
and i wish i could take that away from him.
I've seen your scars and kissed your crime
Seen your scars and kissed your crime
I know it sounds crazy. Ive seen seen the worst sides of him the aftermath of losing his dad, the ptsd jealousy anger the blatant rage ive seen him kill and none of it made me love him any less.
So many people that I know, they're just tryna touch ya
Kiss up and rub up and feel up
Kiss up and rub up and feel up on you
Glancing away from him when i hear giggles and hushed whispers of things. Two women— a tall lightskin woman and a darkskin nicely shaped woman both dressed in colors of their respictive tribes, whispering provocative things they wish they could do to him.
Give you some time to prove that I can trust you again
But i dont get angry, honestly im not phased. I trusted N'jadaka because he earned it over time.
Plus they couldnt have my spot if i gave it to them.
I'm gonna kiss up and rub up and feel up
Kiss up and rub up and feel up on you
Noticing where my attention is he grins with that arrogant smirk of his leaning over placing a (too short for my liking) kiss on my lips running his thumb over the back of my hand.
All night long
Sweet love all night long
Sweet love all night long
Sweet love all night long
All I wanna, ain't no other
We together, I remember
Sweet love all night long
He stretches his neck...well to outsiders thats what it looks like but him and i knew better. He was showing me the trail of bite marks and hickeys littered across his neck that dipped into his collar. Showing the claim i left on him, proudly letting everyone know he belonged to me. He was reminding me through our silent communication he was mine.
Our love was stronger than your pride
And i was willingly his too. The way he jumped to do things to make me happy, express his love for me the things he sacrificed (not wanting therapy) and gave up (stealing things in america) for us to be together was more of a reason to. And he never hesitated or thought twice.
Beyond your darkness, I'm your light
Looking away from him i fail to hide my smile. Of course he doesnt miss it but i miss the gold glint in his eyes. I dont notice the way he looks at me lovingly or just how deeply hes in love or even how highly he thinks of me.
If you get deep, you touch my mind
He places a kiss on the back of my hand pulling my eyes back to him and its my turn to squeeze his hand gently. Things had always been deeper than the human eye could see with us.
If you get deep, you touch my mind
Deeper then sex. Deeper then holding hands. Deeper then arguments, jealousy and rage. Deeper then our fighting skills and deeper then our vengance.
Baptize your tears and dry your eyes
Looking over him i grin slightly at the sight. I knew everything about him i watched him at his saddest, darkest moments. Heald him while he cried, been his peace and wiped his tears.
Baptize your tears and dry your eyes
He returns the look grinning back showing his gold caps. He knew everything about me seen me at my most vulnerable darkest moments. He heald me while i cried. Hes been my peace and wiped my tears.
So many people that I know, they're just tryna touch ya
Kiss up and rub up and feel up
Kiss up and rub up and feel up on you
So caught up in My husband i barely notice the mining tribe leader eyeing me up and down. But of course erik does and he makes a game of it. Moving his hand from mine, he reaches up to my straightened hair pushing it behind me ear revealing the chain that his has name on it. Diamonds sparkling in the sunlight that cascades through the windows.
(3rd person)
All night long
Sweet love all night long
Sweet love all night long
Sweet love all night long
All I wanna, ain't no other
We together, I remember
Sweet love all night long
She was making his dick hard.
the way she kept batting her long lashes sending him these sweet innocent looks, even the way she was grabbing his hand. After the night spent together last night for their one year anniversary all he could remember was how recklessly inlove he was with her. How drunk, crazy and dangerously in love he was.
They say true love's the greatest weapon
"So are T'challa, Ramonda and shuri officialy gone?"
Theres a long silent pause before the answer is given. Its been over a year since theyve been gone but of course some couldnt fathom it.
To win the war caused by pain, pain
The first royal family had caused the duo so much pain and while it was obvious why erik was angry, it was never exposed why malika truly hated wakanda.
Without so much as even a proper burial service for her parents actually the opposite. They had been shamed for not doing their jobs, only taking Malika and wakabi in as a pity.
But every diamond has imperfections
As nice and as put together as they seemed...well, every family has secrers.
But my love's too pure to watch it chip away
But he love for her home, wakanda, was pure and unmatched. She knew how to appreciate what came from wakandas resources.
Oh nothing real can be threatened
She had a plan and stuck with it. Nobody getting her way not her brother, not the first family and not the black panther.
True love breathes salvation back into me
With every tear came redemption
Erik sees her getting lost in thought, of course he knew what she was thinking and shakes his head lightly.
"Its done, over with. We're ok" he communicates through their unspoken language. They had gotten satisfaction from their lives.But right now, from here on out they got what they needed most for the pain the lives through, the losses they faced and every other tribulation.
They got Redemption.
And my torturer became my remedy
Attatching their hands again theyre grounded once more. Brought to peace by the one person who could take them out of character more then anyone else.
Each other.
So many people that I know, they're just tryna touch ya
Kiss up and rub up and feel up
Kiss up and rub up and feel up on you
Give you some time to prove that I can trust you again
I'm gonna kiss up and rub up and feel up
Kiss up and rub up and feel up on you
"Dead." Comes the Duos answer simultaneously with the same look of animosity but carelessness dripped in their voicess.
The river tribe elder sees the girl who asked the new king and queen the question about to open her mouth ready to fire off more questions and he stops her.
"Do NOT question King N'jadaka"
Das it. Das all.
But whats the tea on last chapter, how did those men know of vibranium?
Once kendall and i return in the house i kiss his head and send him to bed before stopping in N'jahzaras room seeing shes sleeping on her stomach one of her dads shirts wrapped around her. Grinning at her i flick on the night light before closing her door all the way and heading to the study where i knew erik was.
Feeling for my garter i exhale walking down when i feel everything that needs to be there. Theres a million and one questions running through my head but only one person can answer, thought i dont want him to. I was slightly scared of his answer.
Reaching for the door i freeze. I fucking freeze and drop my hand. Why was i fishing for things i knew the answer to. Closing my eyes i take in a deep breath and exhale a few times tightening my fingers around the metal in my hand.
"Babe?" I hear him call out and his voice brings me down to reality, pulls me right out of my thoughts.
Opening the door i close and lock it behind me which catches his attention from the holographic screen infront of him. Im not sure what video he had been watching but i turn off the screen and slide inbetween him and his desk.
"N'jadaka" i greet back easing myself up on the desk letting my feet swing. Hes shirtless... as usual hair braided back as it has been most days since his dreads were nearing his shoulders. A toothpick inbetween his teeth swiveling slowly.
Instead of touching or kissing me or any of the other physical stuff he usually does he leans back in his swivel chair crossing his hands in his lap.
There it was...my answer. He was calculating, trying to see my what i knew, how much i knew...if i knew. Its a stare down between the two of us watching to see who cracks first. His dark brown eyes boring into mine the way mines were into his and i see the curiosity.
For a breif second, so fast i almost didnt catch it, his eyes flicker to my fist cleched on the side of my thigh and he swallows thickly. Though he doesnt move his body i can read every emotion. The defiance before he speaks, see the defense building on his tounge and the destruction cascading over him like a thick blanket.
Dropping my head i sigh closing my eyes once more, wishing he'd laugh and tell me i was crazy for even thinking that, but it wasnt the case. We could sit here for hours though stairing at another but now that i was ready to speak i couldnt even think of what question to ask.
"How did they get the vibranium? Why did you give it to them? When did you tell them what to do with it? Who were they to you? What were you planning? Where—" i spit off and he breathes again looking away from me. He fumbles with the strings of his black joggers before speaking.
"I was working hard...not smart. I thought it was smart at the time. They were my back up plan if things with klaue aint work out. Of course they were niggas i met in the navy and would do anything for a penny, i told them about building weapons and helping me take over cause i was still angry but then shit started working out. We got together and i was king they aint like that and wanted to overthrow T'challa and me" he admitts in a low tone. Just cause we were in his office doesnt mean peeping toms dont exist.
Was mal evil this whole time?
Laying in the dark next to N'jadaka, window cracked to let in a slight breaze was always peaceful. This was usually the only time we could talk and reflect in peace, because everyone in the castle knew when we were sleeping that ment to be quiet. Tonight was no different
"Baby?" He ask and i look up from the marks on his skin ignoring the 3 that was freshly placed.
"Hmm?"
He blinks a few times before looking at me and i can tell hes struggling to form whatever he wants to say. I sit up at the moment his eyebrow twitches knowing he was about to he vulnerable with me.
"Why dont i feel bad? Besides you and our kids they was the last bit of family i had so why isnt there death affecting me?" He ask running his hand over his face and my heart sinks slightly. I climb into his lap wrapping my arms around his shoulders.
"You hold no remorse because they heald none for you. It doesnt make you a bad person to not feel bad about their death, because at one point in time they celebrated what was almost yours" i defend but he looks away pulling back slightly from my embrace but i pull him back to me.
"Your plan had always been to get rid of them to avenge your pops. Though they werent the ones who killed him they supported the man who did and instead of sympathizing with you they wanted to turn their backs on you. They had to get to know you to see if you were worthy enough to hold the udaku name and royal title instead of taking you in like they shouldve. Once the queen found out he was dead she shut down everything he created, the resistance, libraries for the poor, special assistance programs she tried to erase his legacy. Tried to erase my parents legacy after they died and and only took wakabi and i in because of who i was. Who knows how many other people theyve hurt like us" i say with a more firm voice, he looks up at me nodding before flipping us over so im on my back with my curls spread around and hes hovering over me.
"Dont talk to me like i feel guilty about them being dead, tell me youre how proud you are that i avenged them. Tell me you dont think i would ever turn on you, tell me you trust me. Tell me you dont feel regret, but you feel the same satisfaction i feel" he demands
Gone is that lost confused look from his eyes and replaced with something much much darker, and its like my energy fed off of his.
"I do, N'jadaka" i speak toying with the chain on his neck before making eye contact once more.
"But i can show you better then i can tell you."
When did Malika and Erik get married?
"Erik youre going to spoil her—" i begin watching as erik carried N'jahzara everywhere because she pouts the minute he puts her down.
"So what! I want my lil nigga to have everything i didnt have growing up. Imma give her what she wants yet teach her the value of it. When she get olders those lil ashy niggas going to have to come correct because she wont be impressed by him buying her stuff. I mean he gon' have to give zara her way or he getting tossed right off killgore falls" he rants pulling the peanut butter out the cabinet to eat with the freshly picked strawberries from this morning.
"Wha— erik, you not even making any sense! Matter of fact give me my damn baby" i say going to grab her and shes amused by Erik and i's playful argument. He steps away holding her above my reach which she giggles at, not sure if she was laughing at being so high up or the attention of me and her daddy fighting over here.
"Zara yo' mama just mad im not giving her attention or spoiling her like i use to, she jealous" he jokes with her pulling her back to his chest. Zara looks over at me before offering out her half eaten strawberry in efforts to make me feel better. I cant help but to smile because even though erik spoils her she was still sweet and quick to share.
I take a tiny bite before kissing her nose, sending erik a smirk when she reaches out for me. He has a look of betrayal which she ignores as she eats the rest of her berry. Moving closer to the counter so she could grab more she grabs one in each hand holding one out to me.
"Hmm mama" she offers which i accept until N'jadaka scoffs. He was clearly jealous she was sharing with me like the child he was and he was going to make his distaste clear like the guy he is.
"You just gon leave yo daddy like that princess?" He ask with a sad tone and for a second i almost want to give her back. He would be so soft for her sometimes and it was like everytime i seen it i fell more in love to know that this tough guy thats been to hell and back that killed people for even looking at him the wrong way was now a softy for his daughter.
She pouts jutting her lower lip out and her eyes instantly becomes watery before she sniffles. I glare at N'jadaka one thing about their relationship i wasnt fond of was how their emotions piggy backed off another, so if he was angry she was livid, if he was upset she would be upset except she would cry.
"No no no daddys sorry, come here" he quickly rushes to scoop her up and i watch as she curls up like a cub in his chest. Even though it was frustrating sometimes it was no denying how cute it was. He begins talking to her in xhosan softly though i can pick up a few words such as princess. But it seems as if the servant who was delivering todays mail picked up a few words since she speaks out.
"Actually Malika wouldnt be queen...you two arent married and even though you have kids together she was never sworn into the throne" she speaks placing the mail on the counter before walking out.
I feel it without even looking at him, his dark eyes gazing down at me but i avoid it. I wasnt against marriage or even marrying him the thought just never really crossed my mind. Ok it has and i have the wedding of my dreams planned out but he never seemed like the type of guy to get married. Looking over i see our daughter dozing of in his arms and see my chance to run.
"Well you got her to go to sleep, ill uh...take her to her room" i mumble picking her up from his arms or trying to.
"Nah ill take her, you have Queen duties you have to handle up in the mountains with the Jabari. I got a meeting with the council that im late to so..." he trails off and im glad we both have the same idea of running from this conversation. Planting a kiss on zaras forehead erik pulls my head up placing one on my lips.
"hope you dont think running away from this conversation means you run off without giving me my fucking kiss" he smirks and i flick his lip.
"Dont say that, thats why n'jahzara be cursing now" i try to be serious but with his goofy grin i cant help the smile. I shake my head and leave the kitchen to get ready for my weekend in the mountains.
"Meeting ajourned" M'baku dismisses in a deep voice. Now that N'jadaka was king, M'baku was more willing to speak to the panther tribe. He disliked him at first due to T'challa convincing him he'd be the downfall of wakanda and come take over the mountains as well.
But when M'baku learned how much of wakandas history erik didnt know and how he was willing to not just learn of tradition but incorporate it with our technology he was ecstatic. He wasnt to happy about the technology but he was able to compromise.
Once i see most of the room is cleared out i go to stand until M'baku demands me to stay.
"Dont tell me kendall and adisa are causing more trouble" i sigh plopping back down into my seat and he only chuckles shaking his head as the last handful of people slowly walk out.
"No no no...well not more then usual. But theyre children theyre bound to get into trouble" he covers for them, he had a big soft spot for the two and all the kids in his tribe.
"Children? M'baku theyre both 14 soon to be 15 they need to be heald accountable" i tell him and he just chuckles ignoring me, another way him and N'jadaka were similar. They brushed off troublemaking kids dismissing it as them just being kids.
"Speaking of children hows the little one, N'jahzara?" He ask taking a drink from his cup and i let out a small laugh thinking about her.
"Her 4th birthday just passed and shes very upset her uncle mbaku wasnt there but she enjoyed the present especially the leather jacket she never takes off. Shes getting smarter every day though and shes begining to speak more instead of just using sign language" i rave about my little girl.
"And your king?" He ask setting his cup down and i think of our moment in the kitchen friday morning.
"Hes adjusted to all of his kingly duties, not only wanting progress for the blacks of america but understanding the responsibility for not only his life but the millions here in wakanda and how to prioritize. I think its helped that youve been teaching him of the jabaris traditions hes incorporated alot of it into being a ki—
"So he must be the reason you are distressed" he ask and i give him a funny look. "You never talk about how he is as a king first you always tell me how happy you are with him and how much he spoils your kids, so what has the tyrant done?" He ask and i sigh before explaining to him the scenario.
"Marriage?!" He laughs and its not a chuckle either, hes hollering with laughter slammed his fist on the table and even wipes a tear for theatrics.
"Is that all? R-really, is that all?" He questions rhetorically before going into another fit of laughter. I glare at him until he finally calms down and catches his breath.
"Malika, you raise you twos children, correct?" He ask and i nod playing with the ends of my dress.
"Stood by his side through thick and thin?"
"Yes"
"Teach him things and learn things from him right?"
"Well...yeah"
"And he loves you, talks about you every time i see him and includes you in every plan he has, the boy is love struck and would show mercy if you asked, dont you know?" He questions me and i nod.
"Do you think hes the best thing since the truce between the jabari and panther tribe? Do you want to have him for the rest of your life and in the after life? Do you think he was made for you? Do you want whats best for him? Do you love him the way he loves you?" He fires off question after question but it doesnt matter to me the answer remains the same.
"I do"
Once i arrive back in the castle its chaos. Theres people everywhere running around like ive never seen before, theres florist, chefs, decorators, tribe leaders and members even a few people from the jabari which im not sure how they got here before me but im confused.
"Whats going on?" I ask one of the servants who gasp in shock when she sees me. She begins pulling me upstairs and im impressed by how this barely 5 foot older woman is so strong. Shoving me into my dressing room im shocked to see a bouqet of roses with a jewel in the bud of each one.
The vase holds a dozen roses and i grin when i see the card next to it with eriks sloppy handwriting.
"Remember the last time i did some romantic shit stuff? got you a book and used the receipt as confetti? I decided to one up myself, and this time i didnt throw it at your head.
-your favorite nigga in the world"
I laugh at the card amused at the fact he crossed out shit and wrote stuff instead of getting a new card.
The royal makeup team comes in and instantly begins styling my hair and makeup ignoring my protest and questions, i already knew from the flowers this was N'jadakas doing so i just go along with it. They do hold small conversations with me and ask my preferences for my hair and makeup.
Taping my freshly manicured hands on the wooden arm rest of the chair i had been sitting in for the past 2 hours i hum along to the music playing.
"Are you ready to see the dress?" One of the servants ask as she pulls my attention to a curtain. Honestly i seen the curtain but thought nothing of it since i had been bombarded.
"What dress?" I ask confused pushing myself up from out of the seat and they all share sly looks. I was past curious now and slightly irritated, whatever was planned im sure was cute but to many details were being left out and i hated not having control over my surroundings.
"I will explain after you get it on, kings orders" one of the younger ones say and i see the sneaky look on her face but i think nothing of it. Stepping behind the curtain my heart falls i to my stop. The dress knocks the wind out of me and while i knew 6 different languages i couldnt find one word to describe how beautiful this dress was.
I didnt need to be told twice to put it on and i instantly strip out of my clothes excited to slip into the dress. Even though it looks extremely fancy its really confortable and the shoes match in beauty.
"We have the queen and we're moving now" one of the dora says into her beads before we begin walking to the garden. Compared to when i first walked in the castle things were now the complete opposite. There wasnt one person in sight, a sound to be heard nor did i feel like all eyes were on me.
Standing at the glass door that leads to the garden im confused to see it covered by curtains and turn back to ayo who had escorted me along with a newer dora milaje warrior. My question gets stuck in my throat when she places a crown on my head that has a veil attatched.
"Dont kill him" she says before the curtains are pulled back and thousands of eyes are on me. There was cameras, wakandan news stations, every tribe leader and member including M'baku and the jabari and from the corner of my eye i notice luka and jules. Everyone had been dressed in black, there was black& white roses at the end of every aisle and a live orchestra dressed in white.
It was my dream wedding...every single detail down to the amount of flowers i wanted in each vase. and at the alter stood a fidgeting N'jadaka who stops when he finally sees me and i freeze... i fucking freeze.
His eyes roam my body as the live orchestra starts playing and i begin walking down the aisle. Its like me and him are the only two in the room once his eyes meet mine which makes a shiver go down my spine.
It was like i could feel how much love he had for me like he was projecting it, and i wouldnt be suprised if due to the herb he could. But that was one thing i never questioned or second guessed... his love for me. He made sure he showed it wether it was a kiss first thing in the morning, clearing my schedule when i was stressed to let me relax, taking care of our kids always pushing me to be my best self or even doing something such as plan my dream wedding.
Feeling the tear stream down my face i quickly try to wipe it but they begin streaming down faster and faster the closer i get to N'jadaka. I finally notice his suit matches my dress except theres black in place of the white.
"Come on bro with the mushy shit, you gon' make me— fuck" N'jadaka jokes at first when i stand infront of him until his eyes start watering and he turns away to wipe his face. I miss the way the audience 'aw's' and i barely focus as we say our vows im only focused on him.
Sitting at the reception with N'jahzara on my lap stuffing her face with cake while kendall gives adisa a flower which makes her sneeze i grin happily before looking over at my husband.
"What if i wouldve said no and tried to kill you for throwing me on the spot like that?" I ask him and he puts his fork down slowly before laughing.
While he does, i think back to The first day i met him his hair was all over his face, gold caps only visible when he smirked posture menacing and threatening and his eyes dark and calculating. But now His dreads, that came to his jaw line, had been up in braids. his and his gold caps were still glistening and visible due to him smiling. His dimples were poking out and his eyes still calculating but full of joy.
"You think those cameras were there to get your good angles? They were witnesses" he tells me and i cant help the laugh because he was dead serious.
"Even though you aint have a reason to say no, i know i kinda trapped you in this. But i didnt want you to run like you did in the kitchen i dont want you to run from me you my fucking girl...my queen just like i promised you" he says and i knew that was about as sweet as he was going to get. But that was all i needed i mean he did just plan a whole wedding.
"Come on"
"Where we going?" I ask as he picks our daughter up from my lap and kendall takes her while all for of your jaguars— draco, predator, maim and kill follow them.
He ushers me to the dance floor pulling me tightly to him as the music starts. He has a nervous look in his eyes but he doesnt let it stop him.
"Baby?" I ask pulling his eyes down to me and he sighs leaning his forehead against mine.
"I couldnt say no mushy shit but i need you to listen. You know what song this is?" He ask and i nod.
"Redemption by babes wodumo" i grin, personally i liked the song, him being a wakandan man himself knew exactly what kind of vibes to bring to the music.
"I-" he begins but sighs closing his eyes as he sways us side to side. I feel anxious as he struggles to find the words because he never struggled to say anything, not even to tell me he loved me.
"I wanted to kill myself—"
"N'jadaka!"
"No! Just listen. I wanted to kill myself between the ptsd, hurting over my dad and my mom betrayal from uncle ja— zuri, and just not getting closer to wakanda i felt like that same scared little boy so many nights and i hated it. I hated feeling weak and i hated feeling. I didnt have a plan after taking over wakanda i was just kinda living... until you. The day i met you and we hung out in the music store i felt something i hadnt felt in a long time, i was happy. And when you seen me in my first ptsd episode you helped me through it, you let me cry you let me be weak you let me feal and it felt good. You didnt just hold me down baby love you challenged me, pushed me to be better work harder work smarter want more for myself. You were to much for me to smart to strong to independent to mature and i knew if i wanted you i had to step my shit up.I was in such a dark space and..." he trails off taking a breath.
"You know what redemption means? The action of saving or being saved from sin, error, or evil. You save me Mal gave me redemption"
I also started a new N'jadaka book its called lost boy heres a sneak peak:
Its when he licks his lips eyes focused on her hips ready to approach that he misses the way her muscles tense up feeling someone stairing at her. He had been so entranced on her curves that he forgets this isnt america and she isnt american, she was a wakandand WOMAN fighting was as much of a skill as cooking and he was about to learn quickly.
Approaching her slyly the way a predator would its prey, What he does notice is that she has headphones on so she wouldnt hear him the next way to grab her attention is Grabbing her elbow.
The quick touch scares sekai, and with her not being like most women she instantly turns around punching her fist into whoever grabbed her. Being so frightened she doesnt realize how much force she puts into the punch until the 6 foot 3 man is writhing on the floor holding his neck.