Park near Spinner's End, Cokeworth, July 1978
Severus couldn't control his anger anymore. Really, who does Petunia think she is, to tear apart his close friendship with Lily as some based on misinterpretations, false hopes and deceit one-way road. Sure, a little voice inside his head taunted him by replaying words of his fights with Lily or throwing insults in her voice at his face: But Severus tried to turn them out and focus his wrath on Petunia, because he couldn't write his bond to Lily off as a lovely illusion. It hurt too much. So, he breathed heavily, turned his face into an ugly, angry grimace, glared at Petunia and lashed out in an angry voice.
"Petunia, I urge you to stop your talk right now, because all that's coming out of your mouth are blatant lies. Lily was a true friend to me – my only friend, if I'm being honest – who showed me kindness, showered me with affection and comforted me on bad days. You frankly don't know anything about our friendship. So please stop to drag it through the mire. I know that you are jealous of Lily, envy her for her good looks, easy-going nature and magical powers. But this is no excuse to badmouth her in front of me. She didn't use me as her key to the Magical world, period."
Severus had moved dangerously close into Petunia's private space so that he was now nose to nose with her, his breath grazing her cheeks, his blazing obsidian eyes locked with her icy-blues and his last shouted statement ringing in her ears. It seemed to Petunia as if he wanted to shut her up with his intimidating presence. But Petunia kept a straight face, took a deep breath and answered him in a calm voice.
"Severus, I can imagine that my words hurt you deeply because you idolize Lily and love her endlessly. She couldn't possibly do anything wrong in your eyes. But stop trying to hurt me with some petty jibes at my looks and lack of magical abilities or intimidate me with your aggressive behavior. I won't back down and stop talking because I know that it is a desperate attempt on your part to close your eyes tightly on some hurtful truths. And I get you. Actually, I'm a real master in releasing my fears, emotional pain and doubts by lashing out at others. So you can't chase me away with your childish behavior. Face the truth, like you urged me to do in my abusive relationship with Vernon. Lily used you.
Ok, I will agree with you that she might have actually cared for you as her best friend at one point. For she was always happy after returning from your meetings at the park or gushed about your intelligence, good heart or funny nature despite your outward miserable aura of a grumpy, sarcastic and rude boy to my parents. But she never defended you against any bad rumors after your falling out two years ago and she never invited you to celebrate Christmas with us or go on a vacation despite my parents' offer. And since she dates this awful, arrogant snot James Potter she often badmouths you as a dark, evil and dangerous wizard and jokes with Potter and his gang about their bullying of you at Hogwarts. So, she really isn't the perfect, kind-hearted angel you make her out to be."
Severus was flabbergasted by Petunia's audacity to not flinch away from him and continue her unflattering character study of Lily. He wanted to turn around and leave her to her rant because he couldn't bear her demonization of Lily. But he didn't want to act like a coward or petulant child. So he stayed, took a huge gulp out of his Whiskey bottle and thought about his next actions. He would tear her lies and schemes apart after she had finished her rant because she wouldn't listen to him now anyway. She seemed to be determined to show him the true colors of Lily and voice her side of the story. Consequently, Severus managed to cool his emotions down, clear his mind and decided to listen with rapt attention to her observations, for he always kept his promises. And he had promised Petunia at the beginning of their heart-to-heart talk that he would listen to her sorrows, try to understand her reasoning and give her some advice without lashing out at her or taunting her negative feelings towards Lily.
Besides that, Severus really wasn't that surprised by Petunia's judgment, because he knew that her envy and jealousy towards Lily clouded her mind. Therefore, he needed to comprehend her chain of thoughts to be able to make her see reason in the end. So, he decided to observe her closely, listen to her rant without interruptions and collapse her chart house of lies next. Before he encouraged her to continue with her talk, he addressed her in a seemingly peace offering.
"Petunia, I'm impressed by your audacity to anger me further. But I'll listen to your analysis of my failed friendship with Lily anyway because I promised you to hear you out and treat you with respect during our talk. So please accept my apology for my unfair insults and threats towards you. They slipped out of my mouth in an emotional moment of anger, hurt and embarrassment. I wanted to lash out at you and hurt you emotionally because your words hit a sore spot in my heart. Stay assured, I know that Lily isn't always a good-hearted angel that accepts every person for who he/she truly is or acts according to values like tolerance, empathy, and honesty. But she also isn't the deceitful, superficial devil you make her out to be. Please continue your rant about our faked friendship because I want to hear your side of the story." With these words, Severus backed slightly down into his previous seated position in front of the rocking horse and waited impatiently for Petunia's rant.
Petunia, surprised by his apology and cooled down emotions, only blinked once, before she resumed her train of thoughts. "Oh, Severus. I will naturally accept your apology because I knew that you lashed out at me to vent your wrath, anger, and frustrations. Believe me, I know these feelings and won't hold your words against you. Besides that, you know that your description of me as an envious, hurt bigger sister is dead on. But more about my envy of her magical powers later, because her behavior towards you hasn't anything to do with it.
Since Lily met you in this park all those years ago, learned about her identity as a witch and the existence of the Magical world, she changed dramatically. Sure, I understood her wish to know everything about magic and spend as much time as possible with her new magical friend, but I wasn't okay with her elusiveness and antisocial behavior towards me. She basically washed her hands off of me without an apologetic look or an honest explanation. Every time I wanted to play hide and seek with her or jump rope, she excused herself due to some new charms she needed to learn or magical tales she needed to hear. I really felt hurt by her excluding behavior, cast aside like trash and began to despise you and your magical world of adventures and wonders.
I longed to experience same adventures of my own and be special like Lily because she had always been treated like the special child by our parents, while they overlooked all of my achievements. I guess that their preference of Lily arose partly from her being a premature baby that fought for her life in an incubator for a week and needed special care ever since. Adding to this her unusual abilities as a child like levitating her toys, changing her hair color or making flowers grow that concerned our parents highly and alienated Lily from our neighboorhood kids, they always tried to reassure her that she was special, beautiful, talented and loved. Your revelation that she was a witch shocked our parents on the one hand, because they couldn't fathom the realness of magic and the workings of the Magical world. On the other hand, they were relieved because they now knew why Lily was so different and they even adored her more for it.
I understand, that Lily isn't responsible for her preferenced treatment by my parents. But the fact that she could cast me away, her older sister, who had taught her how to ride a bike or draw a house, so easily, hurt me to the core. I know that I should have probably voiced my hurt feelings and asked her to start acting like a sister again, but I feared to be looked upon as the older, envious sister without any friends who can't handle being lonely. So, I stayed quiet, loathed every spell, potion or magical tale she learned and showed to my parents because in my jealousy riddled mind it seemed like she wanted to taunt and exclude me again with her magical adventures. Consequently, I bottled every hurt and resentment up in myself and lashed out at her with insults about her freaky nature when my emotions started to overwhelm me.
I disclose my history with Lily to you, because it is similar to your friendship with Lily. At first, she treated you with kindness, compassion, and honesty. Laughed with you about silly jokes, learned about new spells, potions and magical stories with you and comforted you when you were sad. She acted like a true loyal friend that you could trust unconditionally. But one of Lily's character flaws is that she is greatly influenced by the opinions of others and tries to fulfill the societal expectations. Besides that, she always dreamed of living a life without financial worries, malevolent rumors and taxing fights. So, as soon as she noticed that her friends badmouthed you, the Marauders bullied you for being different and a Slytherin and everyone in Hogwarts accused you of being a dark, evil wizard thanks to your studies in the Dark Arts, Lily distanced herself from you. When you supposedly proofed your enemies words by insulting her for her blood status, she washed herself off of you. You had fulfilled your purpose. Introducing her to the Magical world, teaching her things about magical subjects and culture, encouraging her to believe in her magical abilities, so that she didn't have any use for you anymore. Due to your fascination with the Dark Arts, your Hogwarts House, your impoverished background, and your anti-social, sarcastic character you didn't fit in her group of magical talented, easy-going and popular friends anymore. Consequently, she tossed you away like trash and badmouths you to everyone to defend her actions. So, you see, that Lily is far away from being modern Mother Teresa, but a self-absorbed, superficial young woman instead. Therefore, you should really knock her off her pedestal."
Petunia ended her rant about Lily with a clipped tone, a brave look in Severus' eyes and a queasy feeling in her stomach. She really hoped that Severus wouldn't leave the park immediately, venting his frustrations and hurt feelings at her and never talking to her again. Perhaps, she should have kept her mouth shut and never tried to change Severus delusional, angel-like image of Lily.