Now, Although switching bodies with someone who lives many miles away would be considered at least a noteworthy concern, both Lola and Tatianna both approached the subject in the same manner. They ignored it.
Lola, being a child, came to the conclusion this was a one off. She wished that she could be grown up for a day, she had been a grown up for a day, happy ending.
For Tatianna, she was simply too busy to be bothered with something so ridiculous. She had too many meetings and had too much damage control to deal with. She preferred to just forget it ever happened and the sooner the better.
Both women would realize this was only the beginning of a very real problem. A week after their first phone call they switched bodies again.
But we're getting ahead of ourselves....
....
Lola had spent the next week and a half suffering for her birthday tantrum in the most dramatic way possible.
Whenever her siblings had a friend over, Lola would tell them not to take friendship for granted as her friends probably would never speak to her again.
When Lori typed on her cell phone, or someone watched TV, Lola would ask what was going on in the world, for she was only allowed to use her phone for an hour at home and she was completely banned from the TV (that first day had been a fluke as lola had forgotten that part of the grounding and watched TV anyway)
"What is going on outside? What groundbreaking discoveries have been made? It's been so long since I heard any news" She would ask, really piling it on.
Part of her punishment was doing two weekly chores instead of one, which meant one sibling would get a day off from their usual chore. In this case, it was Lola who had to do trash duty while Lincoln got the week off. What did Lola do? She carried that bag of trash as noisily as possible. She made sure everyone could see that she was doing her time. Christ didn't carry the cross the way Lola carried that bag of trash. It was truly an Oscar worthy performance. After delivering the trash bag to the curb and collapsing from exhaustion, Luna and Luan even gave her a slow, sarcastic applause.
Lola knew sorry was just the beginning of things. She had to really show that she WAS sorry if she was going to get on peoples good side again.
Was it working? Eh, she was wearing her siblings down bit by bit. They got the message, but they weren't going to let her off that easy.
The real problem was Lana. She hadn't spoken a word to Lola in seven days and it was starting to get serious.
Lola was still sleeping in the basement. It was starting to get uncomfortable and scary but she dare not make a fuss.
Lana was still ignoring Lola at school. The kids were still talking behind Lola's back.
Lola said sorry a dozen times to no effect.
Lola made speeches with tears running down her face but Lana would just walk off.
Lola even tried bribery. She bought Lana a big, expensive, stuffed Lizard from the toy store with "to my beloved twin" written on the name tag.
Lana put it in the closet.
Lola was starting to worry that Lana really and truly hated her. The siblings were starting to get a little worried too. Lana wasn't the type to hold a grudge. Seeing Lana act like this was more than a little disturbing.
"Oh, Mr Sprinkles! What am I supposed to do?" She cried to her teddy bear Saturday night.
"Lana won't even talk to me, is she really going to hate me forever? What else can I possible do to make her forgive me? Should I offer to take care of her animals? Scrub her feet? Do her homework? Oh, I feel awful."
Then she lay on her pink sleeping bag and put her headphones on (to drown out the dripping water), and she went to sleep and woke up Sunday morning to find herself back in the marble white bedroom in Tatianna's mansion.
...
Before she could even speak a loud vibration was heard. There was a cell phone on the glass table next to the alarm clock. She picked it up, hoping it wasn't anyone important.
"Hello?"
"Stop...making...wishes...." Came a high pitched growl through the phone.
"Tatianna? Is that you?" Lola asked in her rich grown up voice
"No you idiot. It's Santa Clause, and I've got a brick of coal with your name on it. WHO DO YOU THINK IT IS?!"
"Oh my gosh....is that really what I sound like on the phone?"
"LOLA!!!!"
"Okay! Okay!"
"What did you do?"
"Nothing! I swear! I didn't make any wishes last night. I didn't even think of you at all!"
"Well you did something!"
"Wait a minute! How do I know this whole mess isn't YOUR fault. Huh? What did YOU do last night?"
"I spent two hours in the plant room putting the finishing touches on a new azalea I just bought. Then I went over some marketing figures on my laptop. Printed off some notes. Then I turned in at 11. Your turn."
Lola went over her day. Mentioning the huge stuffed Lizard that Lana callously chucked into the closet.
"You've been sleeping in the basement all week? I wondered why I woke up down here." Tatianna replied.
"Yeah. Lana won't even look at me."
"But the basement? Your parents...are allowing this?"
"They said I can sleep on the couch if I ever get too cold or scared but I find the couch kind of lumpy."
"Still, I wouldn't want the police to get wind of it..." Tatianna mumbled under her breath
"What was that?"
"Nothing. So you had another normal day. This is just...a...a freak of nature...
"What do you want me to say? You think I want to be in your old body after the things you said to me?"
"You deserved it all Lola-"
"Wait! How are you talking to me like this? I blocked your number!"
"Lola, I'm in YOUR body. I called MY cell phone."
Lola processed this and slapped her forhead. "Well, Mom hid my cellphone so what phone are you using?"
"The one in your living room."
"Are you insane!? Get off! What if someone see's you talking like this? I'll be in so much trouble."
"LOLA!"
"GET OFF!!
There was a dull groan as Tatiana clutched the phone in a death grip and took a deep breath.
"Lola, I don't want to be angry with you. Like it or not, we are in this mess together, yes? We both want this to stop?"
Lola agreed.
"Then lets calm down. I don't know how fortuitous this... switch is. But I don't have time to deal with this today. I have a lot of important things that need to get done at my office."
"Aren't you the boss?"
"I am."
"Oh, well then its easy. I'll just call your assistant and tell them you're taking a sick day."
"No Lola."
"Don't worry. I know how to fake a cold. I do it all the time."
"No. There's too many things that need to get done today. Some cannot wait. It can't be helped." Tatianna swallowed, "You're going to have to go to my office and pretend to be me."
Lola swallowed at this as well. "Uh, no. I'm not doing that."
"Oh yes you will. You owe me. After the mess you made last time. You wanted to be an adult? It's time to go to work."
"Uh-uh. I may be a pretty good actress but I'm not that good."
"You'll have to be. Go to work Lola. I'm not kidding."
"Oh yeah?!" Lola snarled, no matter what situation, she did not take kindly to being told what to do. "And how are you going to make me? You're all the way in Michigan."
"You spoiled brat."
"Ah-ah. Don't forget, you have a lot more to lose than I do."
....
On the other end of the phone. Tatiana's eye was twitching like mad. The blood in her veins rushed to her head. Her eyes started to blur with ice cold rage. Meanwhile, the seven year old continued to hold her hostage over the phone.
"Now, here's what we're going to do. It's the weekend, so you can just stay home. That's fine. Lynn has a football game in the afternoon, so you'll have to go to that. Just cheer her on and look adorable. Maybe you can think of a way to get on Lana's good side. Meanwhile, I'll call your work and give them the performance of the year. I'll have them bring your papers over and you can go over them tomorrow when your back in your body. Sound good?"
"Morning Lola." Said Lynn as she came down the stairs. "Hey, I thought mom banned you from using..."
Tatianna whirled around and gave a look of such frozen hate that it stopped Lynn in her tracks. A little trickle of blood dripped out of Tatianna's nose and ran down her chin.
"Uh...Lola...are you...you've got some...Down your....you know what? Finish what your doing. I won't tell anyone." Lynn said as she ran out of the room.
"Who was that? WAS THAT LYNN?! Get off the phone before someone else see's you!"
"Lola."
"What?"
"I have a better idea."
"What is it?" Lola asked
"I'm going streaking."
Tatiana said this so bluntly you'd think she said she was planning to go wash her hair.
"What?"
"Streaking Lola. I'm going to take my clothes off and go for a run. I want to feel the leaves in my hair. The grass beneath my toes. The Midwestern breeze across my bum."
"Heh-heh. Okay. That's... really not funny. Remember, we're in kind of a messed up situation."
"Hey! Lynn's football game! That's a perfect idea. In fact, I saw a dancing ribbon in your room. May I borrow it? I want to give the crowd a REAL half time show."
"I'M GOING TO WORK!!" Lola yelled frantically through the cellphone "I'm going right now! Where's your stuff? What kind of clothes do you wear?"
Tatianna told her.
"Okay, give me... give me twenty minutes, I'll be on my way. Just don't do anything crazy okay? We're going to get through this. Let's just stay calm and talk this out."
"I like your attitude. Now, before you go and get dressed, I want you to get a piece of paper and a pen. There should be some in the dresser below the TV."
"Okay. I found it."
"Good. Now listen close. Here are your instructions."
Tatianna rattled off a long detailed list of instructions while keeping her eye on the stairs. Just as the rest of the family started moving around upstairs Tatianna finished her list.
"Do you have everything written down?"
"Yes."
"You think you can handle it?"
"Do I have a choice?"
"No. Neither of us do. I'll be expecting that phone call around lunchtime. I'll try to get your phone back by then."
"Tatianna?"
"Please call me Ms. Tichy. I don't like formality."
"Ms. Tichy? Could you do me a favour?"
"I suppose. What is it?"
"Can you think of a way to make Lana forgive me?"
Tatianna grumbled something over the phone and hung up.
Soon the noisy brood descended the stairs and bid Tatianna good morning.
....
"What's with you this morning? You look like someone just literally fed you rotten eggs." Lori remarked as she went in for breakfast.
Tatianna grunted. Lori shrugged her shoulders and began making toast.
Make Lana forgive her? Tatianna didn't even like Lola's family. Now, not only did she have to pretend to love them and pretend to be a sweet little princess girl but now she had to play therapist with Lola's disgruntled twin? Futile.
"Lola, your nose is bleeding." Lincoln remarked
On top of that, Tatianna had to guide her company from disaster from another state. Hopeless.
What Tatianna really wanted to do was pay Lola back for the humiliation she had suffered. But as much as she desired that, Tatianna was still a responsible adult. She couldn't bring herself to sink to that level. She would never do something as childish as have Lola run naked through the street for all to see. Lola was just a child. To treat her in such a way was...dishonorable. But still, there was a part of Tatianna that really wanted to give Lola a shock when she woke up tomorrow morning, and those two parts of her soul were having a private little war at the loud family table.
The siblings also had a private internal conflict. From their perspective, Lola was scowling at the wall with fury while blood ran down her nose. They wanted to say something but at the same time...they were good.
In the end, Leni grabbed a tissue and wiped her little sisters nosey.
"There. All better now." Leni said.
Then Tatianna laughed. A dull, chilling laugh that was made all the more horrible coming from Lola's voice. Leni backed up in alarm as a grin spread across Tatianna's face.
"Where is Lana this morning?"
"Lana's going to a friends house this morning." Lincoln replied
Tatianna had an idea...
....
The limo pulled up to a big building that had TICHY TECH written on the side of it. The driver's name was Robert and he had been Ms. Tichy's driver for almost six years now. He was an old man in his seventies but he was very friendly and respectful. Lola's first instruction was to call him and arrange to be taken to work, which she did. There were a few other numbers she would have to call today and Lola was flipping through the paper to make sure she had them all.
"I gotta say Ms. Tichy, that was quite a stunt you pulled last week." Robert said. His voice was full of warmth and good humor. Lola liked him at once.
"Yeah. What can I say? We genius's need to cut loose every now and then."
Robert laughed. "Cut loose? I've never heard you say that before."
Lola chuckled as well. This had been another instruction. If anyone mentioned the shopping spree, Lola was to say it was just a mad whim and laugh it off.
"I was so confused that day. I pulled up right on time as usual, waited over thirty minutes and you were nowhere to be found. Went inside your house, no one there." Robert shrugged his shoulders, "You had me a little bit worried is all. I mean, I know what you told me and I know that your eccentric but...I...legitimately thought something had happened to you. That's all."
Lola forgot herself for a moment and put her hands to her face with adoration and squealed "Awwwwww. That's so sweeeeeeet!...I mean, thank you Robert. It's little things like that, that will keep you employed for a long time."
"You're very Welcome Ms. Tichy."
Lola got out of the Limo. She was now dressed in a woman's business suit. It was dark navy blue and very masculine. Lola was instructed to use a moderate amount of makeup but Lola wasn't quite sure what Tatianna's idea of "Moderate" was so she did her hair and face up a little less than she usually would. Beside's she wasn't a savage. Lola Loud does not go out in public without makeup.
She took out a compact and examined herself in the mirror before getting in the elevator. She got off the twenty fifth floor and was astounded at the number of people rushing around. Handing off papers, making phone calls. Everyone looked really hard at work.
"Okay Lola, you can do this. Walk like you own the place."
And so she did. She strutted her stuff like it was the Miss Cute and Mean pageant, much to the confused glances of some of her employees.
In her mind, Lola tried to remember the directions to Ms Tichy's office. Eventually finding her way up a set of stairs to a big glass doorway that opened to the office.
Ms Tichy's office was just like her home. Spacious, clean, orderly and hi-tech. There were computers, phones, printers and another Hi-def television on the wall. Lola sat in "her" chair and spun around in it a little bit. Having your own company is pretty cool. Maybe Lola should look into-
"There you are Tanya." Came the voice of an attractive young woman. She entered the room in a rush with three big folders of paper.
Lola had remembered something very important that Ms Tichy had said that morning. "In my company there are around five hundred employees total. A small dozen are allowed to call me Tatianna because they are on the board of directors. The rest call me Ms Tichy or ma'am. But there is only ONE employee who is permitted to call me Tanya. Her name is Sally Cohen. She has been with me since the company was founded. She is my most trusted assistant and has earned the right to speak to me in that way. If you have an urgent problem and can't get in touch with me, she is the one who can help you."
"Good morning Sally." Lola said to the lady, Trying to get to know her as quickly as possible.
The woman looked up at her and said, "Well nothing's exploded yet so...yeah, we'll go with "good" for the moment." Sally then dropped the big folders onto the desk.
"Here's the progress updates from the sectors like you wanted. I still have to get the contracts from the marketing department. I know they're dragging their asses but try not to blow a gasket. Don't forget you have the investors meeting tomorrow so you'll have to prepare for that. Mcgregors on the warpath so you'll need you wits about you. Remember, if the board tries to freeze you out I'll be needing a job myself and I hate browsing the classifieds. See you in fifteen."
Sally then turned as fast as she had come in. Lola felt like she had been bombarded with info and didn't know what to do. She yelled, "HEY!"
This stopped Sally in her tracks but not having a clue what to say, Lola just babbled, "If you're going by the breakroom, I could use a drink. I'm parched"
"You got it." Sally then turned and left leaving Lola with the big folder of papers on her desk. She opened them up and saw lots of big words.
"Don't cry Lola, Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry...."
....
Back at the Loud house, Tatianna was taking exquisite pleasure in gathering all of Lola's dresses and tossing them into garbage bags, along with all of Lola's toys and games and pageant ribbons. She then took off her pink jammies and tossed them into the bags too. She grabbed the bags with her tiny arms and hurled them down the stairs (nearly popping a shoulder in the process), that being done, she tramped down the hallway to the bathroom. She turned on the shower and ran her head underneath it. Getting all of the makeup and hair product out. She turned the water off and whipped her hair around wildly until the golden locks were sticking up every which way.
She looked at herself in the mirror. A wet and wild haired little girl in pink undies stared back at her.
"Perfect."
Lana had left for her playdate thirty minutes ago. Lola wasn't expected to call from San Francisco for another three hours. Plenty of time. Now it was just a question of which sister.
Not Lynn or Luan, obviously.
She didn't trust Lori to get this right.
Leni would be perfect but there's a chance she might refuse to play along. She seemed a little too soft hearted and this plan required an independent thinker.
The shadow girl? Maybe.
No...Luna. It had to be Luna.
So Tatianna marched to the room next to the bathroom and barged right in. Luna was sitting in her bean bag chair peacefully strumming a guitar.
"Sup little brah? Why're you all wet?"
"I DON'T WANT TO BE A PRINCESS ANYMORE!!!" Tatianna bellowed in her high pitched screech and stamped her feet. "I'M SICK OF IT! NO MORE PRINCESS STUFF!!!"
She felt foolish but in order to pull this off it couldn't look like a rational decision. She had to look like a child behaving rashly.
And she certainly got the result. Luna's eyes went wide and she put the guitar down and sat up straight.
"Dude. What brought this on? "
"I threw out all my dresses."
"Whoa! Dude, wha-"
Luna was flabbergasted. Now it was time to make the play. Tatianna kneeled down and put her tiny little hands on big sisters knee. "I want to be like you. Teach me how to rock. Please?"
This plan would never work in any other circumstance. Only because Lola had tried everything, only because Lana was out of the house, only because Luna was home and only because Tatianna was in control. Lola wouldn't be able to do this. It was really quite delicious how all the pieces just fell into place without Tatianna having to do much.
Her plan was this, what's the most surefire way to get a loved one's attention? Get them to think your in danger. Not real danger of course, just a simple change in behavior.
Lola is unloved. Lola is racked with guilt. Lola hates herself. Therefore, Lola is now resorting to changing herself in order to make everyone happy. Lola Loud is having an identity crisis. The siblings would recognize it right away of course. There was no fear of the dresses and toys going into the trash. The older sisters would probably put those bags somewhere for safekeeping. Tatianna would spend the day selling it that Lola was having a crisis, she would then explain this to Lola over the phone so that she would carry on tomorrow (where they would hopefully be back to normal) and then Lana would see her twins drastic change and one of three things would happen.
1. Lana would feel bad for her sister and forgive her.
2. Lana would refuse forgiveness but tell Lola she's acting like a lunatic
3. Lana would keep up the silent treatment
Options one and two would mean success, the girls were talking again. Option three would mean temporary failure but if Lola persisted in her identity crisis, eventually Lana would have to say something. Best of all, this would really be humiliating for Lola, and she wouldn't be able to say anything about it because on the surface, it looks like Tatianna was trying to help her. Perfect payback.
Luna put her hands on her little sister shoulders. "Come on little dude. You don't mean that."
"Yes I do!" Tatianna was petulant, "I want to be a rocker! I want to be wild and crazy and dance!"
"I love where you're heads at but we both know this isn't you. Now come on Lola, what's going on huh? Is this about Lana?"
Good. The conversation was going how Tatianna predicted. Luna was the perfect choice. Just a little further.
"Stop treating me like a little kid!" She yelled, "I'm so sick of people treating me like a baby. I want to do the things that you love to do. I want a Makeover!!"
"I'd love to give you a makeover, but I don't think you've really thought this through. You might change your mind when you wake up tomorrow..."
"I want to dye my hair."
That did it. Luna lit up like it was Christmas.
"Heck yeah, we'll dye your hair! What colour do you want?"
"Bright pink. And I want them in streaks like lightning bolts."
"Very nice choice. Let me just get my equipment." Luna went straight for her closet. "Just so we're clear, I know this is a cry for help. I'm only going along with it because you will probably NEVER let me do this again. Now, do you want bubble gum pink, hot pink, rose pink, or more of a pinkish red?"
....
For Lola, the next three hours felt like an eternity.
First, Sally came back with a drink. Lola took one swig and nearly choked.
"What is this?"
"It's beer." Sally's expression was concerned, "You said you wanted a drink."
Lola coughed into her hand. The disgusting drink burned her throat and made her eyes water. Her parents were always cautioning Lori, Leni and Luna about beer. This was what all the fuss was about? Why would anyone want to drink this stuff?
"When I said I was thirsty I meant for a REAL drink. Water, Tea, lemonade, soda. Ring any bells?"
"Soda? You don't drink anything with caffeine. Or Sugar. And I thought you only drink tea before bed?" Sally replied, "But if you wanted bottled water you should have-"
"No!" Lola said louder than necessary, "That's okay. I was just testing you Sally. You passed! You can get back to...what you were doing before...I am good....with my....beer..."
"I know its not Heinrich Dry but last time you said this brand was satisfactory."
"And it is. It's very Satisfactory. It's the most satisfactory of beer. Truly."
Lola licked her lips and took a hesitant swig of the awful beverage, sucked it all down her gullet and forced a grin and gave a thumbs up.
Sally didn't look convinced but she had more pressing matters and left with room without anymore fuss. Leaving Lola to cough and try to wipe the burning sensation off her tongue. Then it was time to read the files and make her phone calls.
Lola was always a slow reader, and getting through those big thick folders took a really long time to do. It was full of words she didn't understand and even after getting to the end she had no idea what they were about.
The phone calls were easier. Tatiana had told Lola what to say, Lola just had to do it with confidence, which was no problem for her. She always liked being in charge.
She had just finished giving a manager his last warning when Sally walked in with the contracts. She spread them across the desk and said, "anything else?"
"Explain this stuff to me. I don't get any of it. Also, could you call my mommy and tell her to send my teddy bear by air freight? I need emotional support."
Of course what Lola actually said was, "No thank you Sally. I'm fine."
Before leaving, Sally pulled out a bottle of water and put it on the desk, "In case you get thirsty." She remarked.
As soon as she was out the door, Lola grabbed the bottle and gulped it, the cool, refreshing liquid dribbled down her cheeks but she didn't care. Sally was a very good assistant.
Now it was time to call her cell and hope Tatiana got hold of it.
...
The Louds were sitting in the living room when Luna waltzed in with a big grin on her face. She coughed into her hand.
"Ladies and Gentleman, Bros and Brahs, may I present the brand new Lola Loud!!"
Tatiana strutted in and allowed herself a small smile at the reactions of the Loud siblings. Lynn swallowed her gum and began gagging. Luan and Lincoln gasped. Lisa's bifocals slid off. Even Lily burbled, "La-la?" and pointed at Tatiana. As if she was trying to get verification that this was indeed the sister known as Lola and not some stranger who had wandered in off the street.
And it was no wonder. Luna had done a fabulous job. Lola's tiny body was now wearing denim jeans, a black T-shirt with Princess Payne written on it. A jean jacket with all kinds of colorful buttons and slogans on them. Her hair was now styled and wavy with two pink zig zags running down them and to top it all off, dark eyeliner and skull earrings.
Leni and Lori just looked at each other and shook their heads.
Oh, and the shadow girl looked astounded. Or did she? Her mouth opened and a sound came out but whether it was a gasp, sigh, snicker or burp Tatiana had no idea. Also, those gross bangs were starting to annoy her. She really wanted to grab a pair of scissors and chop those off.
The sisters gave ejaculations of concern, amazement and in some cases even praise.
"Looks like your Seven going on Seventeen." Luan laughed.
"You look awesome Lola!" Lynn slapped her back.
"Are you planning to keep your hair like that for the next pageant?" asked Lincoln
"I'm done with pageants." Tatiana replied. "I'm done with toys and tea parties too. Along with the whole princess image. I'm seven for goodness sake, I think its time I started acting my age."
"Mom and dad are going to literally kill you." Lori whispered to Luna
"Dude! She wanted this! She came into my room and practically begged me too."
"You realize what this is right? It's a cry for help."
"Hey, if Lola wants to get wild and try new things I say we should encourage her. Hey Lol! Want to take a ride to the music store before Lynn's game? I can teach you what real music sounds like."
"Sounds like a rad idea sis, but I have to go check something real quick. I'll meet you outside." Said Tatiana
....
Tatiana quickly located Lola's cell phone. Rita Loud hid it in a drawer in her bedroom closet. Little children know better than to go skulking around in their parents closets so it seemed the natural place to start.
After retrieving it, Tatiana locked herself in the bathroom to make the call in privacy. She was quickly relieved when Lola rang her first.
"Hello? Is this Ms Tichy?"
"It's me. Have the contracts arrived?"
"Yeah. You got a whole bunch of files too. I couldn't read them so I just-"
"put them in my briefcase. Take them home."
"That's what I did but-"
"Fine. Did you do anything suspicious?"
"Not really."
"Lola."
"Okay, I asked for a drink and your assistant brought me beer."
"Did you drink it?"
"Yes and it was so gross! Do you really drink beer at work?"
"What happened?"
"She saw me get weirded out. She didn't say anything though. I drank it all and then she brought me a bottle of water."
"And what happened?"
"I drank that too."
"I mean, did you suffer any effects from the alcohol?"
"...Like what?"
"Dizziness. giddyness. Upset stomach. Anything unusual?"
"No...why? What's wrong?"
"You're a child who just had her first glass of beer. I was curious if it would make you intoxicated but it seems while you're in my body you have my tolerance for alcohol. Which, thankfully, is very high."
"Oh."
"Was there a lot of foam?"
"What?"
"Foam? Did the beer have foam? Bubbles? Was it warm or cold?"
"Uh...it didn't have much foam when I drank it. It was kind of cold. And it had a weird tang to it. Kind of like oranges."
Tatiana let out a quiet moan of satisfaction. "Orange Keeler. Very Satisfactory."
"Uh....can we get back to-
"Right. The phone calls?"
"Taken care of. Let me just get my little notebook....Marcus says the product will be ready by Tuesday. Diana has been informed of the change. Neil has been warned. The others I couldn't get on the phone but I left the messages like you asked."
"Satisfactory. Read the contracts to me."
Lola did. Taking time to pronounce the titles of each one correctly. When she was finished Tatiana said, "Take the contracts in the order that you just said them and put them side by side on the desk from left to right. The Litsgrieg contract will be the first. We will call that contract one."
"Okay. Now what?"
"Listen close. Contracts two, three and five aren't as urgent as I thought. You can take put them in my briefcase. I'll deal with them."
"Okay, Done."
"Contract one is not ready. Call Mr. Bethell and tell him that we are not going for anything less than forty eight thousand per unit. I don't care how good the deal is if they won't go for forty eight then the deal is off. Tell him he is not to send me this again unless it says forty eight thousand. Make him understand."
"I can do that." Lola replied with a smirk in her voice
"Good. Now the hard part. The fourth contract. That can't wait. It needs to be signed today."
"Okay. Do you want me to forge your name?"
"No."
"Cuz I can do that."
"No I-what do you mean, you can do that?"
"I forge my moms name on permission forms all the time."
"....thank you for that insite into your twisted brain...., but listen, this contract is too important. It can't be helped. You'll have to scan the contract and e-mail it to me. Then I'll print it off. Sign it. Scan it. And send it back to you."
"Uh....that sounds kind of hard."
"I understand. On a side note, I've had a breakthrough regarding Lana. I expect results later today."
".....Okay, tell me that stuff again. Slowly."
Tatiana did so. After lola made sure that she understood what she had to do, she asked "So, what's your idea about Lana?"
"grrrrrsssssh...what?!..prsshshehshs...I'm sorry Lola your breaking up..."
Tatiana hung up. As she left to go to the downstairs computer she noticed that her mouth felt really dry and that her hands trembled a little. She swallowed saliva and tried not to think about beer.
....
"Hey guys! I'm home!"
The rest of the day had flown by pretty quick. Before anyone realized it, it was four thirty and time to head out to Lynn's football game. Lana arrived a few minutes late from her playdate and hoped her parents weren't too upset by her tardiness.
She found her mother in the living room.
"Hey mom, sorry I'm late. Are we leaving for lynn's game?"
"Yes honey, as soon as Lola and Luna come home. They should be here any minute. Don't take off your shoes we'll be leaving right away. Come on Lynn!! Put some hustle into it!"
Lana went to the kichen to get a drink of water. Her father was broiling a roast for dinner in a crock pot and nearby was two huge garbage bags.
Being a natural born trash diver, Lana went for the bags without so much as a word. For her, Every trash bag was a box of chocolates. You never knew what you were going to get. Sometimes even chocolate!
She untied them and took a peek but what she saw wasn't garbage. It was all of her twins dresses and toys. The other bag contained all of her sisters trophies and ribbons and even her blanket. A cold chill went through her heart.
"Dad?" asked Lana
"Yes Pumpkin?"
"Did you guys... get rid of Lola?" Lana gulped at the thought, she was angry at her sister but never imagined her parents would go this far.
Her father turned around in surprise but quickly put together Lana's logic. "Oh. That. No honey, we're just keeping that stuff somewhere quiet for the moment."
"Did Lola run away from home?"
"No! Good heavens Lana! Your sister...is just going through a phase, that's all."
"A phase?" Lana could barely believe her ears. Pretty little Lola was having a phase? The last person to go through a phase was Lucy. Back when she got into William Shakespeare. For weeks no one could understand a word she said, and they had to have an intervention to get her to knock it off. There was also Lynn's daredevil phase, after watching that show, Jackass. That took a trip to the emergency room to get her to stop. And of course, there was Luna's rock and roll phase. Which never ended.
What kind of "Phase" could Lola be going through?
"Alright kids! Luna and Lola are back! Get your stuff and lets hit the road!"
The walls rumbled as the Louds ran down to put their shoes on.
Lana and her family walked over to Vanzilla and found Luna standing next to it with a really short girl with pink hair.
....
Tatiana's plan was a complete success. After a day of touring the towns music stores and listening to Luna jabber about rock music, the two of them came home just as Lana was walking out to the van.
Spotting the dirty girl, Tatiana turned and went for the van door, positioning herself right in front of Lana and cutting her off.
Tatiana opened the van slowly and yelled, "Hey Luna! Let's sit in the back together okay?"
"Lola?"
Tatiana slowly turned herself as if she heard a whisper, then giving Lana a look of blank surprise she said, "Oh, Its you. How was the playdate?"
Lana's jaw hit the floor.
"That good huh? Well, it's a shame you weren't home otherwise ME and LUNA would have invited you to come and hang out."
"Ew, What did you do to your hair?"
"Its called hair dye? Ever hear of it?" Tatiana said with snark while at the back of her mind she shuddered at her own words. She was really starting to talk like the blasted kid now.
"What's with your clothes? And how come all your stuff is in the garbage?"
"Oh that princess crap? Yeah, I got tired of all that. I don't know what it is. I guess turning seven just made me realize how stupid tea parties are. I'm into more MATURE kinds of fun."
Lana's face went red. "You're not mature! You sleep with a teddy bear!"
"Not anymore. Tossed him out too."
"Why are you acting like this? You look stupid, and you sound like a big jerk."
"But you're talking to me. Which is progress." Thought Tatiana to herself.
Out loud, Tatiana proclaimed, "Well, if your going to be a baby about it, then I guess it's a good thing you didn't come with us."
"I WOULDN'T HANG WITH YOU IF YOU PAID ME!!!!!" Shouted Lana with such rage that her whole head looked like a tomato.
Tatiana ignored Lana and climbed in. Except with her new boots she slid on the door sill and fell face first on the pavement. Lana laughed a mean little laugh and tried to climb over Tatiana but at this point Tatiana forgot about her plan and rushed up to get in the van first.
Soon a fist fight erupted. Lori and Lynn Sr pulled the two little girls apart, gave them a stern lecture and parked Tatiana in the back and Lana in the closest seat to the front.
The other kids piled in with Luna coming in the back to sit with Tatiana. She gave the little girl a sad look and said, "Dude, that's not going to help anything."
"I'll give you ten to one that your wrong." thought Tatiana to herself. Out loud she said, "So in your opinion what was the best rock band of the eighties?"
...
The football game soothed over the awkwardness that the twins had created. Lynn performed spectacularly and won the game with two full touchdowns.
The twins sat apart but Tatiana caught Lana looking at her during the game, which was further indication that her plan was working.
It felt strange, Tatiana never liked kids nor did she ever want kids but predicting the thoughts and feelings of the loud children was a lot simpler than she realized.
Are children just more predictable because they haven't had as much time to become complicated liars? Or did the body swap alter Tatiana's mind to be more receptive to children's mentalities? Or... maybe the transformation caused her to borrow something from Lola? The girl was clever and definitely unscrupulous. She would know her families moods and personalities like the back of her hand.
More than likely it was the latter. After all, Lola spent the entire day running a multi-billion dollar company and even though she had help she did quite a decent job. Could a seven year old accomplish this under ordinary circumstances? Unlikely. Something inside Tatiana must have been added to Lola to help her cope with the adult world.
But what did this mean? Where would it lead? And what in gods name could Tatiana do to stop it?!
As far as Luna was concerned, she was having a great day. she had never spent so much time with her little sister and was pleasantly surprised at how much Lola seemed to understand music on an intellectual and emotional level.
Luna wondered if Lola would want to come to the next Mick swagger concert while buying the two of them some goodies. She soon returned with a massive sausage in a stale looking hotdog bun covered in preservative ridden condiments.
"Here little Bra. I got you your favourite." She said warmly.
"Awesome! Thanks big sis!" Tatiana said with fake glee. She took the hot dog and bit into it, suppressing her gag reflex and swallowing with only a few bites.
She hadn't eaten fried food since she was eighteen. She instantly felt bloated and sick. She could taste the grease dribbling down her chin.
"hmmmmm. So good." She lied.
She felt a vibration in her pocket and almost chocked on the second bite. She had forgotten to return Lola's cell phone after signing the contract and sending it back.
Tatiana waited until the game resumed, then took out the phone and peeked at it. It was a text.
WHEN DO YOU GET OFF WORK?!!!!
It took a moment for Tatiana to realize Lola was asking when SHE could go home, so Tatiana quickly typed in....
WHEN THE WORK IS DONE.
WHEN IS THAT? Came the reply.
IS THERE STILL PAPERS ON MY DESK?
YES.
THEN YOUR STILL WORKING.
BUT THIS IS BORING!!!!!! Came a reply with a frowny face.
HOW DID THE MEETING GO?
BORING. I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING BUT TIM SAYS EVERYTHINGS GOING EXACTLY ON SCHEDULE.
THEN BE HAPPY. THIS DAY COULD HAVE GONE VERY DIFFERENTLY. GET THE BI-ANNUAL REPORT AND THEN YOU CAN GO HOME AT 8:30. DON'T JUMP FOR JOY WHEN YOU LEAVE.
Tatiana put the phone away. This day COULD have gone very differently. She had been lucky. But what if it happens again? What on earth is causing this?
Then Lynn scored one of the most amazing touchdowns Tatiana had ever seen.
The crowd leapt onto their feet and roared like the roman coliseum. Even amongst the tumult you could still hear Mr Loud proclaiming "That's my girl!" for all to hear.
What no one could hear was Tatiana sucking a massive piece of hot dog into the back of her throat. Nor could they see her flailing with her tiny little arms in alarm.
Her vision started to blur with tears and her head started to swim. A thousand thoughts raced through it. "My god, I'm going to die in Lola's body. Damn you Lola. Damn you and your stupid birthday wish. You ruined my life and I hope my body gets fat with you in it. I hope my body balloons to six hundred pounds. I hope they have to airlift you out of my mansion because your too fat to fit in the ambulance and as you swing back and forth in the air like a blubbery wrecking ball, you slowly die of cholesterol and blood pressure. And I'll be laughing. Laughing from the pits of hell..."
Just as she began to lose concousness she heard someone yell, "She's choking!!!"
Then a pair of strong arms wrapped around Tatiana's diaphragm and clutched.
The hotdog shot out across the stand and splattered into the face of some poor guy in a red hat. That was certainly the end of his day.
"Thank you Luna." Said Mrs Loud, "Lola. Sweetie are you okay? Say something?"
Tatiana just looked up at the sky and murmered something angrily.
"Looks like that Junior lifeguard training came in handy after all. That really scared me dude." Luna said.
Luna spent the last quarter of the game fussing over Tatiana while Lana watched from across the aisle.
....
Back in California, Lola was watching the clock, waiting to go home.
When she got the message that she could leave at 8:30 she thought that must have been some kind of mistake. Maybe Ms Tichy meant to hit the 6. But no, the work kept on piling up as the day continued.
Lola had been instructed to basically shove all important tasks into the briefcase to take home. Any important decisions she should ask the advice of the employee in charge and then say, "I think your on the right track. Go with that."
But after six, it started to get a little embaressing. The briefcase was full to the brim with documents and Lola was starting to sound like a broken record and it was getting harder to pretend like she wasn't.
At one point someone asked her to make a decision as to which direction to take the prototype and they didn't have any clue of their own.
Lola tried to play neutral and insist on two versions of the prototype in each style but the guy made it clear that was impossible. Terrified, Lola chose the design that looked the prettiest and hoped she didn't ruin anything.
By eight pm she was begging to go home and hoped no one else would appear to ask her questions.
On the bright side, she got that really important contract signed and handed in. She felt good about that.
Handed in? OH NO! Today was Sunday! She had school tomorrow and her homework wasn't done!
Lola frantically pulled out the cell phone and began calling. After three rings there was a click.
"Hello! Ms Tichy?"
"Who is this?"
It was Lola's mother.
"Oh....um....is....Lola Loud around? This is the...the...."
"I know who you are. LEAVE MY DAUGHTER ALONE YOU SICKO! This is your last warning. Next time you talk with the police."
The line went dead.
With that plan finished, Lola wondered if she could somehow wake up early enough to finish her homework before school. But Sally walked in.
"Tanya? Is something wrong?"
"No." Grumbled Lola
"You know, I can finish up here if you want to go home. There's not much left that you need to do."
Lola leapt out of her chair and hugged Sally with all her might. "Oh thank youthankyouthankyou! You're the best assistant ever!"
Lola grabbed her briefcase and her coat and, despite her instructions, jumped for joy all the way to the elevator in front of all the remaining employees.
Lola called Robert to come pick her up and she went straight back to the mansion and passed out on the couch. She had never been up this late on a school night.
....
Tatianna was also exhausted, but only because the hot dog took a lot out of her.
Mr and Mrs loud fussed over her while Luna carried her up the steps to Lola's room. Tatiana felt ridiculous, but could still see Lana grappling with conflicting emotions so she kept up with the act and held onto Luna like she was her favorite sister.
The parents insisted that Lola sleep in her own room tonight. She had a scary day today and needed a break. Lana shrugged in agreement.
Tatiana noticed Lola's bag in the corner and decided on an extra bit of charity. She finished Lola's homework in thirty minutes.
After a satisfactory dinner, (Mr Loud was quite a cook) Tatianna wrote a note, put it on her stomach and turned in for bed.
But before she could shut her eyes she got one last victory.
"Hey Lola. I'm glad your okay. You know, after the hotdog thing."
Tatiana smiled. All she had to do was utter a single word and the relationship would be mended, but this was Lola's life and Lola's mistake.
It had to be Lola who finished it.
So Tatiana replied, "It's be pretty funny if I choked to death on a hot dog. It's not like I don't deserve it. Right?"
Tatiana got no reply so she shut her eyes and went to sleep.
.....
Lola awoke the next morning back in her own body and she was happy to see it.
Until she read the note lying on top of her. It read-
Dear Lola,
Thank you for the hard work yesterday at my office. In return, I did your homework for you. You may notice your throat feels a little sore, that is because I choked on a hot dog while at Lynn's football game. Don't worry. You're alright. And I got Lana talking to you again by pretending your having an identity crisis.
Which reminds me, I told everyone you don't want to be princess anymore and tossed out all your stuff. Gave you a makeover too. Hope all is well between you and Lana.
Please destroy this note after reading.
Sincerly T.T.
Lola looked up in horror at her empty room. She screamed at the top of her lungs and dashed for her bedroom mirror.
She saw her hair. She saw a pair of hideous clothes lying on a nearby chair. She saw a string of photos of her and Luna taped to her dresser.
Lola's horror turned to murderous rage.
She grabbed the photos and the note and tore them all to shreds, and then, realizing it wasn't enough, she began cramming them into her mouth and chewing with fury.
"She'll pay for this. She'll pay for it. She has no idea who she's messing with. Next time we swap I'll turn her whole plant room into a SALAD BAR!!!!!"
"Lola?"
Lola froze in place. It had been so many days since she heard that voice. She turned around and all her anger melted away at the sight of Lana.
"What are you doing?"
Lola swallowed the paper and, without any other explanation at her disposal, she licked her lips and said, "I wanted to taste the memories."
Surprisingly, Lana bought this.
She laughed out loud. Soon enough, Lola began to laugh as well. And then after a few moments Lana came over and said, "Do you really hate princess stuff now?"
"No! of course I don't." Lola pleaded with honesty. "Look, I don't know what I was doing yesterday but...I didn't really want to... Whatever I said or did, it was just....I..."
"It really wasn't you." Lana replied
"Understatement of the century." Lola remarked coldly.
"Lola, when we were having our birthday, why didn't you tell me you weren't having fun? You know I would have played with you."
"I know. It's just... all the people you invited came but only three of my friends did. Everyone was laughing and making fun of me. They were saying it was your birthday and not mine."
"Oh. That's why you got mad."
"Yeah, but that's no excuse." Lola was on a roll now and put her heart to her chest. "Lana,I'm so sorry. I've never been that angry before in my whole life. It was like my body was running on its own. I wanted to stop, I really did. I was out of control. I'm sorry I ruined our birthday."
"Well, nothing we can do about it now. I guess we'll just have to make sure our eighth birthday is the best one ever." Lana said with a grin.
The twins hugged and Lola decided not to destroy Tatiana Tichy's plant room.
"Now, please tell me you guys didn't throw out my stuff?" Lola pleaded.
"Don't worry sis. We had a feeling you were going to be asking for that stuff back so we kept it up in attic wear it'd be safe."
Lola heaved a sigh of relief.
Until....
"Aw no! Honey! Those dang squirrels got into the attic crawlspace again! Look at this place, they ripped everything apart." Cried Mr Loud.
Lola did quite a bit of crying of her own.
"TATIANAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!"
.............................................................................
So ends chapter four.
I hope you all enjoyed reading this one.
Next time, we'll have a shorter chapter that i have been wanting to write for a while.
Even when I was first coming up with the story of this.
Stay tuned.