My eyes flew open as a sudden wave of nausea woke me from my sleep.
Taehyung grunted as in my struggle to get out of bed, I whacked him on the ear none too gently. I frantically disentangled my legs from the covers before stumbling out and just barely managing to reach the toilet before my meager dinner from last night came up.
Sweat immediately collected the back of my neck and my legs trembled as my body dry heaved into the toilet for at least five minutes.
Sometime during that time someone had pulled my hair away from my face and gripped my shoulders tightly.
I finally collapsed on the bathroom, panting a little.
Taehyung gazed at me steadily, no disgust in his eyes as he took in my sweating, pale face. "Are you done?" He asked quietly.
I nodded a little. "For now." My voice was rough and raspy as if I'd been screaming for ten hours straight.
Two and a half months.
Three weeks to go.
So close, yet so far it seemed considering how quickly my body seemed to be deteriorating from me.
A simple walk around the park was enough to exhaust me as if I'd climbed Mt. Everest and I wasn't very hungry anymore.
I glared down at my hands, frustrated at how weak I'd become. I knew it was coming, and I had thought those sporadic bursts of my body not functioning was bad enough near the beginning of the three months.
This...this was much worse.
I felt disgusted with myself no matter how many times Taehyung repeated that I was still beautiful and that I needed to love myself.
About a month ago Taehyung had insisted I sleep with him in case I had an emergency. He kept insisting it was because he wanted to make sure I would be as stay safe as much as possible.
Yes, that was most likely one reason. But I strongly believed that the two main reasons for this new arrangement was because a: Yeontan always chose me over him to sleep with at night, and Taehyung was getting jealous; and b: my boyfriend was getting... manly urges more and wanted to ensure I was beside him.
He'd quickly learned his lesson to keep it in control when I hid one of his favorite Gucci belts the morning I found a hickey on my neck that I had not remembered receiving nor (more importantly) given permission for.
Taehyung had been in such frenzy as I sat on the couch sipping my tea, Yeontan sleeping on my lap, watching him calmly.
I finally got him to promise not to get out of control before I revealed the belt I'd hid in the freezer among the frozen spinach bags.
"Y/N?" Taehyung rubbed my shoulders soothingly, bringing me back to the present. "Sooner or later I think we should take you to the-"
"No hospitals," I interrupted sharply.
A small tick appeared in his jaw though his overall expression didn't change. "It's a wise option if you ask me."
I shook my head, instantly wincing at the motion sending sharp needle-like pains and making my eyes water. "They won't find anything, Taehyung."
"I don't care," a hint of anger stained the edge of his deep voice. "They're trained in the medical field and will find some way or another to perhaps help your body stabilize long enough."
I little sob escaped me. "No hospitals."
"Dammit Y/N, now you're just being stupid," Taehyung's grip on my shoulders tightened a little. "I understand maybe a week ago you still didn't want to do it, but look at yourself. You need to do something!"
"There's nothing to be done," I retorted. "That's the entire, blunt situation Taehyung!"
"So what, I'm supposed to keep watching you become less and less alive doing nothing?" Taehyung fired.
"But you're not doing nothing Tae," I inhaled shakily. "Every embrace, every kiss, every time you just come and tie back my hair when I vomit in the toilet, it truly helps me." I attempted to reach out and brush the back of my fingers along his cheeks.
"It's not enough though," Taehyung angled his face away from my hands, avoiding them, and a small flicker of hurt flashed through my gut. "You've made it this far, Y/N, and I'm going to do all I can to see you through the rest of the weeks."
I sighed, exhaustion settling in my bones and I rested my forehead on the toilet seat, too far from caring on how gross the notion was.
Will I make it?
The question that had been haunting me more and more. Sometimes I even had dreams of me dying, leaving Taehyung without a final goodbye.
Leaving everyone behind without a final goodbye.
Suyo had finally successfully gotten on a plane to America and was now (not surprisingly) and a fashion designer for a brand called Victoria's Secret. I'd seen photos of its products (thanks to glimpsing at freaking Namjoon's search history).
The other six boys knew something was up with me since I rarely went out with any of them any more when I learned I could easily blackout with loud sounds or overwhelming surroundings.
I didn't know what Taehyung was telling them, but I remembered crying a little when Taehyung had come home from work one night with a card from all the boys telling me to feel better with little pictures drawn by each of them accompanied with a cute note.
My favorites were Jimin's little circular lumps with huge eyes drawn on them with an arrow pointing to them that read 'Get mochi better soon' and Yoongi's simple: 'Don't die. I hate funerals.'
"Y/N!"
I jerked back as Taehyung snapped his fingers inches from my eyes.
"You keep zoning out," Taehyung frowned.
"Tell me something I don't know," I mumbled.
"Yeontan decided to try and hump a cat in the park."
I face palmed myself, the gesture instantly sending another crashing wave of exhaustion over me. And I'd just been awake for twenty minutes. "I don't know what to do with that information."
"Here, let's go back to bed, hm?" Taehyung stood up and grabbed my elbows to try and help me stand up.
The moment I stood though, my stomach began to roil and I was back to hovering over the toilet seat and Taehyung holding back my hair patiently.
"I'm calling the hospital after this," he murmured to me as I continued to dry heave, his tone left no room for argument.
Will I make it?
I didn't even remember closing my eyes until the darkness and silence was all around me, drowning me.
And it was too late.
*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: