I took a step forward.
"You're gonna jump over and try to take me down from behind," Royal Blue said. "Clever, but not completely practical."
"Dang," I replied. "You really do know what I'm gonna do."
"Of course I do," Royal Blue responded. "You made that decision."
"Then that makes this training perfect," I said.
I looked back towards the trees. Lapis was watching me and sitting on a log. I smiled at her. She turned pink in response.
How cute.
"Ready to get beaten?" I asked.
"If you can even get past me," Royal Blue replied.
I charged at her, only to be thrown down.
"Man," I said. "I liked it more when you weren't purposely trying to see my future."
"Normally we're not training to fight against mind readers," Royal Blue replied.
As I took a step forward, Royal Blue stomped ahead.
"I know what you're gonna do," she said. "You're thinking too much."
"Perhaps I am," I replied.
I looked over at Lapis. She was still watching Royal Blue and I. I looked back at Royal Blue and shoved her. She fell back onto the sand and grunted.
"You got me that time," she said.
"I'm an expert," I responded.
Royal Blue looked towards Lapis. I nodded and walked to her.
"Hey," I said as I approached her.
"I'm not used to seeing you have so much trouble," Lapis replied.
"Blue was right," I said. "I was thinking too much. That's why she could see me."
"But wouldn't Dravite be able to hear every thought you have?" Lapis asked.
My eyes widened. I was sure that I was turning pale. Lapis was right. Royal Blue could only see the future based off of decisions. Dravite would be able to know what I was thinking at all times. Any little thought I had, she would hear it. I snapped my fingers.
"Lapis," I said. "You're the only one her powers won't be able to work on."
"Yeah?" Lapis replied.
"We're gonna need you," I said. "You know that?"
She nodded. "So?"
"You should try going up against Blue," I said.
"No thanks," Lapis replied.
"You can do it," I said. "I know you can."
"Peridot, I really don't wanna hurt myself," Lapis responded. "I'm okay sitting right here."
"Come on," I said.
I grabbed her by her wrist and pulled her towards Royal Blue. I let her go and smiled.
"You can do it," I said.
"P-Peridot, I really don't want to!" Lapis cried.
"You'll be fine," I said. "You don't need to worry."
"Peridot," Lapis replied.
She was breathing harder than a human should. Royal Blue was quick to grab her. I didn't understand. What was happening?
"Lapis, calm down," Royal Blue said.
"What's going on?" I asked.
"She's panicking," Royal Blue answered. "Because of you. You weren't listening to her. You saw how scared she was!"
"I didn't—"
Royal Blue led Lapis away. I tried to follow them, but Bismuth pushed me back.
"Leave them," she said. "They need some girl time."
"What happened?" I asked.
"You can't pressure someone like that," Bismuth said. "You scared her, Peridot. You need to give her a break and apologize when she comes around."
"She could have done it," I whispered.
Bismuth laid her hand on my shoulder. "You know she's been worried about what you're capable of lately. Remember how you told me about that conversation you two had?" She asked.
"Yeah," I replied.
"You just need to cut her some slack," Bismuth said.
I looked at the sand. I hated failing Lapis like this. I was supposed to make her happy. That was my job as her imprint. I was doing a pretty sucky job, it appeared.
Bismuth sighed. "She loves you, Dot," she said. "I know she does. She's going to love you no matter what. No one's perfect, and you can't always be the one she needs."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"She's your imprint, yeah, but sometimes, you're not the one she needs," Bismuth answered, smiling. "Sometimes, she needs other people. You need to learn to allow that."
"But what if they hurt her?" I asked.
Bismuth poked my nose. "That right there is what you need to tone down," she said.
"My nose?" I asked.
"Your protectiveness," Bismuth corrected me. "You need to loosen the leash. She can handle herself."
"But..."
"Yeah, some humans can be jerks, but that isn't all of them," Bismuth said. "There are some good people out there. You need to try trusting people."
"Talk to me about this," I replied. "I've seen humans. I've seen humans hurt other humans. I've seen humans use other humans. I don't want something like that to happen to Lapis."
"Jasper wanted that for Lapis," Bismuth said.
"And you act like I trust vampires." I rolled my eyes.
"You have a point," Bismuth responded. "But humans aren't vampires, right?"
"Right," I replied.
"Exactly," Bismuth said. "You can at least try to trust other people."
"Last time I put my trust in another human, I got fangs to the neck," I replied.
"But that was a vampire," Bismuth said.
"Who made me think they were a human," I added.
"What were you doing off with a grown person anyway?" Bismuth asked.
"I got separated from Mom and was too dumb to not ask someone like the police," I answered.
"You were a kid," Bismuth said. "You didn't know any better."
"Maybe I don't have to listen to you or trust other humans," I growled.
"Maybe Lapis will break up with you," Bismuth replied.
"What?!" I cried.
"Peridot, that's not healthy," Bismuth said. "You have to let Lapis live her own life. She has her reasons to believe that you might hurt her."
I paused. I remembered that talk. I felt terrible. Then I didn't. It was weird. Lapis had explained to me that it wasn't my fault, and that it was Elbaite's, but I still felt horrible for what I said. I felt even more horrible about what she thought I might do to her. As much as I didn't want to admit it, Bismuth was right. I wasn't going through with this the way I should have been. If I was, Lapis wouldn't be fearing that I might hurt her. I was the one putting that fear in her. The only way to get rid of that was to change.
"Peridot?" Bismuth said.
I looked at her. I suddenly became aware of the wetness on my face. I was crying. I never noticed.
"Are you alright?" Bismuth asked.
I wiped a tear away and sniffled. "She thinks I'll hurt her," I whispered. "I don't want her to think that."
"You need to apologize," Bismuth replied.
I nearly choked when I sobbed. I didn't cry often. Lapis just meant so much to me.
"Actually," Bismuth said. "I think I'll leave you alone for a bit."
She walked away, leaving me on the beach. I sat down by the water. The waves crashed onto the beach in a perfect, neverending rhythm. It wasn't enough to soothe me. I needed Lapis. I needed her to soothe me. I needed her to trust me. Royal Blue came to my side and sat down. She must have been expecting me to say something, but I was silent. Finally, she said something.
"Peridot," she said.
"What?" I responded.
"I've been with Lapis," Royal Blue said.
"How is she?" I asked.
"She was panicked," Royal Blue answered. "It took us a while to get her to calm down. When she did, we had a conversation with her about how she's been feeling afraid of you. We all knew that you didn't mean to scare her. It's your instincts, but you really—"
"I got the talk from Bismuth already," I interrupted. "I'm overprotective, yada yada."
"But you are," Royal Blue said. "You need to admit it."
"I know," I replied. "I feel terrible. I hate how she's afraid of me."
"Then you need to do something about it," Royal Blue said.
"I know," I responded. "Can you please just tell me what happened with her?"
"Well, after we had that conversation, she was talking about how much she loves you," Royal Blue said. "She said that she wouldn't know what to do without you, and that she wants you to stay with her. She also said that she hopes you don't get too angry when we talk about this stuff with you."
I smiled. "I'm not angry," I replied. "I just feel guilty."
Again, we were silent. I listened to the waves again. They moved in an organized rhythm all along the beach. I wanted Lapis and I to be like that. Organized and calm. I knew that if that was going to happen, it would have to start with me. I was going to change.
"You know," Royal Blue suddenly said. "She asked us something."
"What did she ask you guys?" I asked.
"She asked us if we think you'll propose to her some day," Royal Blue answered.
I felt my face heat up. "Wh-what did you say?" I asked.
Royal Blue looked me straight in the eyes. "We said yes," she said.
My face was on fire. "I agree," I squeaked.
"When are you gonna do it?" Royal Blue asked.
"Not any time soon," I answered. "I'm seventeen, and she's still only sixteen. We're way too young. Definitely some day though."
"Are you gonna talk to her?" Royal Blue asked.
I didn't reply. I knew I would eventually have to come to my senses and talk this over with Lapis. It just felt unbearable to have to do so. I felt horrible for what I did. I felt like it would be so embarrassing to talk about. I didn't want to accidentally do anything to her. I didn't want to accidentally say something that might hurt her. I was scared of talking to her.
"You don't have to talk now," Royal Blue said. "But you should probably talk to her soon."
"I know," I replied. "It just seems so hard to do that."
"You just have to build up the courage," Royal Blue responded. "She loves you, you know that. I know that she'll want to talk to you."
"How do you know?" I asked through my teeth.
Royal Blue tapped the side of her head.
Her visions. Of course.
My eyes widened.
Her visions.
"She really wants to talk to me?" I asked. "She does?"
Royal Blue nodded. "She misses you," she said.
I jumped up and ran like I'd never run before. I was going so fast. It felt like my feet never touched the ground. I ran to the house and threw the door open as hard as I could. As I should have anticipated, everyone was sitting with Lapis and staring at me, quite terrified. Lapis had tears running down her face. Her eyes were pink from crying, and she was still lurching with sobs.
"Lapis," I said.
She looked at me and glared. I could feel myself losing hope. Royal Blue came to my side and nodded. I took a deep breath and prepared myself for everything I was about to say.
"Lapis," I said again. "I'm sorry. I've never wanted you to be afraid of me. I've been making you feel threatened without even knowing it. I want to be better. I want to be a better girlfriend. I want you to go home at night and think about how great I am. I don't want you to think about how you're scared of me. I'm gonna change that, I promise. I'm gonna be better. I'm gonna the best person you know. I'm gonna make you happy all the time. I'll make you so happy that you won't remember the time you were afraid of me."
"And what are you gonna do to change?" Lapis asked, looking away.
"I'm gonna work on my anger, and I'm gonna loosen my grip on you a bit," I replied. "I'm not gonna get protective when you're just trying to talk to people. I have my life, and you have yours. I've been telling you how much I miss being human and my life when I was one, but I'm being a total hypocrite, telling you to live your life to the fullest. I've been holding you back this whole time. I'm not going to do that anymore, I promise."
I didn't get a response. Lapis's expression changed to one that I couldn't quite read.
"And Lapis," I said.
No response.
"I love you."
No one did anything. After a minute or so, Lapis stood up and walked in front of me. She wrapped her arms around my neck and leaned in. I smiled. She was too short to reach me. I carefully lifted her up so she could. She very quickly leaned in and kissed me. I kissed back, much more relaxed. I put her down on the ground when she pulled away.
"I love you too," she said. "A lot. A hell of a lot."
I smiled again. "I think I knew that," I replied.
I got a playful shove in response and laughed. It was enough to tell me that she forgave me.