Christmas came and went and with it my own eighteenth birthday. I managed to distance myself a little from Marcus and his pack. Actually, it wasn't too hard, we were all up to our eyeballs in homework and studying. That and several of the wolves had found their mates and were all about date nights and sharing the love, which us single people avoided. But occasionally, Marcus felt the need to cling to me like he was cellophane, that possessive wolf of his trying to keep me as one of the pack.
I met with Charles a few times to vent and he and Adam even joined me for a few more movie marathons when the loneliness began to pull at me. I was so used to being one of them during the day at school and three out of four weekends, I was pining like a lone wolf for its brothers. It did not matter that I didn't have a wolf inside me, I had been around them far too long.
I started counting down the days to finishing school and starting university, my first choices were several hours drive away. I would be able to start afresh, away from the pack, away from Marcus and I would try to fit in amongst others and find myself. Just three more months until final exams... just two more months...
And then, one month before the exams began, Marcus dropped another bomb on me; he wanted me to attend his mating ceremony.
Most wolves didn't bother with the ceremony, it was a little redundant seeing as you and your partner already knew that you would spend the rest of your lives together. Wolf marriage began with the first meeting of bodies. However, Marcus was the future Alpha and Jenny the future Luna, the ceremony was not only a celebration of their mating, but a celebration for the continuation of their pack.
The ceremony was usually held in spring, anywhere from Easter to May Day, for it is said that this is when the Moon Goddess and Sun God stand together in the heavens. So it was the time for great blessings. It was considered fortunate when children were born during this time as well, such as David and Frankie, that good things would come to them. Marcus and Jenny's ceremony was planned for Easter break. After that, we would be drowning in exams and studies and the happy duo did not wish to wait for the following year.
I really, really, really did not want to go. I really, really, really did not want to drive another proverbial stake through my already fractured heart by watching him declare his eternal love for another. But I also really did not want to share why I did not want to attend. I was planning on taking this secret love of mine to my grave. Eventually, after running out of excuses, such as 'but the pack won't want a human running around the territory' and 'I am so behind in my studies'... I caved in. He knew I would.
As is the cliche, the main pack grounds were surrounded by beautiful, wild woodlands. I thought it was a wonderful place, no need to be a wolf to appreciate the splendour of it. I wouldn't say that wolves needed to be surrounded by trees, after all, artic wolves are happy enough in their barren environment, I think it is more that the woods offer them some privacy, fresh game and an awesome place to stretch and run freely.
The packhouse itself is in a more open part of the forest, a glade and it is amazingly ramshackle, with the amount of additional rooms plastered on over the years. It has had extensions in almost every direction, including underground. Some of the basement rooms were awesome. Their entertainment area was by far bigger than the one in my parents place. There were also many outbuildings and small homes clustered nearby and a second huge building which were guest pack accommodations. Naturally, these rooms were filled by visiting pack members for the ceremony. It was a good time for newly of age pack wolves to mingle and perhaps find mates that they could not find in their own packs.
Soon the guests were beginning to settle. Charles had me placed between him and Adam who, thanks to his bond with Charles, was completely aware of my situation. Neither of them wanted me to be here today, but they knew that Marcus was one hell of a stubborn man and would not take no for an answer. "If you had told him," Charles mentioned, "you could have avoided this."
"Stop," Adam said on my behalf. "You know it isn't that easy." Adam had confessed to me that he never thought he would have a mate. His height and build had always been a bone of contention with him and he had been the victim of bullying amongst his pack members. Although it had been all verbal, it had still stung and left an impression. No girl would want something so feeble, they had said, he would be rejected on the spot. Of course, no one had thought he would be gifted a male mate, especially one that overshadowed all of them in strength and build. One who practically worshiped the ground the small wolf walked upon. They could only hope that their own mates looked at them with such adoration.
Finally, the Alpha, Marcus' dad, stood at the front of every seated guest with his son to one side of him. He said a few words of greeting, I can't say that I was really listening, too busy imprinting the memory of Marcus in his tailored suit to mind. He looked so refined, so masculine and mature and then he smiled. In went the piercing dagger as I acknowledged that smile was not for me, but for the pretty as a picture doll who was walking towards him. All dressed in white and with wildflowers woven in her long tresses, she shared his warm smile and their eyes refused to part from each other.
The Alpha spoke, the couple shared vows, there was applause and congratulations and fresh petals scattered over them. The wolves mingled and a few new pairings formed, but I was barely paying much heed. Having had enough, I turned to Charles and gave him a weak smile, so tired of wearing the mask. "I am going to congratulate him and go home," I said. Charles nodded and watched me go.
"Hey Alex!" Marcus greeted jovially and I summoned from somewhere a returning grin.
"Hey Marcus," I greeted and turned to his beloved. "Hey Jenny."
"Hello, Alex," she beamed. "Thank you so much for coming!" She gave me a quick hug and I returned it. I really, really didn't want to like her, but I did.
"Thank you for having me," I replied. "Congratulations, you've turned him honest."
She giggled as Marcus pouted and informed us; "I have always been honest. Where have you been anyway, I didn't get to talk to you at all early."
"I sat with Charles and Adam," I told him. "Not that they noticed me much," I lied for dramatic effect.
"They are so sweet together," Jenny said with a sigh. I nodded my agreement. "Now we need to find you someone nice."
I took a quick step back. "I'll pass," I said.
"No, I think she is right," Marcus replied. "You deserve to be happy, just like us. Hey, maybe we can ask the Moon Goddess for a wolfmate, then you can settle in the pack with us permanently." I laughed, he is so stubborn.
"Maybe after I have finished my studies," I allowed, not confessing that I had absolutely no intention of ever returning here. I knew I was running away from this, from him, but right now the pain was just too raw and too strong and I was barely keeping myself together as it is. I really, really didn't think I can cope with much more of this. I had just a couple of months of exams and then I planned to go away somewhere nice to give myself room to breath before I collected my results and disappeared from their lives for good. I needed to do this. I really needed to.
I managed to excuse myself as some wolves from another pack came over to offer their congratulations, but I could feel Marcus' eyes upon me, I think he knew that I was planning something, but didn't know what or why. I looked for Charles in the crowd wanting to thank him and Adam again and say goodbye, but instead I found David. I shivered where I stood, was it me or did he seem to have more presence than before.
He frowned as he caught me starring, before heading my way and suddenly I was frozen in place. All thoughts of Marcus had disappeared from my mind and all of my feelings for him had suddenly been swept from my body as if they had never existed in the first place. I never noticed before just how mesmerising David's icy blue eyes were. He stopped before me and took a deep breath, his eyes suddenly changing amber for a minute and then he shook his head and they were blue once more. His frown seemed to deepen and he grabbed my wrist and began to tug me in order to get me to follow him.
Sparks ran up my wrist and trickled over my skin at the point of contact and I wanted to whimper in delight, but something was holding me back, a warning bell in the back of my head. But still I followed him, step after step until we were well away from the crowds and surrounded by the tall trees in the forest. He dropped my wrist and turned to look at me. As we are roughly the same height, I saw myself reflected in his eyes, I saw the hopeful look upon my face, but I could not figure out the reason for it.
So David let me know, in the worst way possible. "As the Goddess is my witness, I, David Larkson, reject you, Alex Rivers as my mate." The pain that began to thrum throughout my body was ten times worse than what I believed my heartache to be. That piercing of my heart earlier was an illusion, a silly result of my own stupid imagination. This, however, this was real and all I could do was collapse onto the woodland ground as wave after wave shattered my mind and body. He didn't care. He just walked away.
"I accept," I felt the words slip from my lips before I gave in to my hopelessness. I wished I had never crossed paths with the pack, with Marcus, with David. I wished I had remained fully human not their pack pet. I wished the Moon Goddess had never noticed me and I wish... I wish...