|| Three and Half Years Ago ||
"Brett, it's not funny!" I yelled at him struggling to stand on my brand new roller-shoes. I didn't even know how to go on them since I was used to the once with two lines and this were my first with only one. Brett was not making things easy neither.
That was my birthday party and my parents had invited everyone from our class. Even Jace and those awful boys that'd spread rumors about me in the beginning of the course, no matter how much I cried for them not to. My mother thought I was throwing a childish tantrum and treatened with calling off the whole party.
Except a sly smirk in the beginning, they hadn't made much to actually mess with me. I spend most of the time with Macy, Jade had been quite distant lately. I missed her but when I asked if there was something wrong she smiled and denied it, so I decided to give her some space if that was what she needed. Brett one the other hand was way too more attentive than I would want him to be.
Ever since that fight in the start of the course I been keeping my distance. The shatter he put in my heart with the way he react at the stupid rumor had been so painful I didn't ever want to go through that again. He was supposed to be my best friend. To have my back. Especially after how sweet the whole summer had been. So much I even had let my fantasies fly... And then when I was hurting he did quite the opposite. He turned his back, disappointed. So I wasn't that eager to let him back in like nothing'd happened. Worst, like he had the right to be mad at me. Maybe he'd 'forgiven' me, but I wasn't that sure I had him.
This only frustrated him further and lately he'd became sassy and snappy, usually mocking things of me in front of his new crew since he entered the soccer team. I couldn't point out if he was like this and joined the new group because of the change, or if it was the new group that was changing him. Either way, I didn't feel safe and loved anymore when I was with him. I felt constantly judged and on the focus for some new none-too-imaginative comment.
But just as with Jace, my parent had invited the whole class. Even worst, the Ryders where friends to them so Brett was like a VIP or something.
Parents had began to came and by now almost everyone had left, so Macy and I'd went to try my gift on the backyard. But she went to the toilet and that's when Brett came in. He had grab my hand and and run around the small garden pulling me behind. But he was too fast I didn't know yet how to stop on those things.
"Brett!" I cried out.
"Come on, Giggles. Didn't you wanna skate?"
"Not anymore! Please stop!"
He did and held my arms stopping me from bumping into him as the weels kept rolling. I clung on him as he so abruptally decided to halt, and met his eyes. Brett was annoyed and confused, and didn't even hide the betrayal in his gaze.
"Weren't you just skating with Macy?"
"Y-yes-"
"So?"
"I just don't want to anymore."
"You don't want to or you don't want to with me."
"Both." I answered before even realizing I did and I clapped one hand over my mouth.
His features darkened and his voice sounded as far as nice as it could be. "What is so wrong with me?"
The air didn't seem to reach my lungs. I looked pass his shoulder, to the house, but nobody was coming out.
"It's...You..." my mouth dried, unable to pronounce a thing. "You-"
"What?" he snaped harshy and I finally found my voice.
"You're mean to me, Brett! All the time. So it's fair if I don't wanna play with you."
"No... I'm not." he frowned he looked at me like I''d become crazy. "It's you who never want do anything anymore."
"Because you're mean!"
"I'm not!" he insisted stomping one foot to the ground. "Stop being so difficult..."
"Then leave me alone!" I breathed raggedly, the words hurting but I forced them out. I was tired of always been nervous about what he would do or say, wondering if he would act nice or mean... I miss us just being ourselves but I couldn't see a way we could just go back to that. "I don't want to be your friend anymore."
"What? B-but why?" there was a hidden hint of something I couldn't point in his tone, but already done with the situation I shook my head.
"I've told you."
"But-"
"No." I thought pulling my force on that word would made my decision more definitive, but it didn't. It did quite the opposite. Brett's face fell, now actually furious and I shivered. Well done, Alyson.
And then he did the unthinkable: he pushed me.
Usually this push would only had me taking a step back, but I had wheels on my shoes and it actually sent me rolling away. Completely taken aback by his gesture I squealed and lost my balance feeling the world bent. It all happened too fast, my back hit the yard's wall and bounced forward forcefully. My arms had flied around me trying to steady myself, but one of them got caught in a bad angle between my body and the ground, immediately followed by an awful crack.
The first second shock numb me, the whole world seemed to hold its breath as the scene repeated in my head all over again, pinching my heart; but as soon as that first moment was over a lacerating pain exploded, so badly that I got blinded by it. I couldn't breath. I couldn't think. I just rolled over my back; holding the burning arm to my chest trembling helplessly, struggling to unlaced my clenched lungs and gasping forcefully as thick warmth tears poured. Horror filled me when my good hand traced the weird bend my arm was making. Something broke in me and I finally was able to breath, immediately before a piercing scream broke free, but the paint only increase.
My arm.
It was broken.
That scared me. I had never felt anything that painful, and it kept escalating none stop. I was a chill child, I had never been seriously injured. Paper cut must had been my top danger experience so far. But now... I sobbed even louder but the pounding ache grew worst. It hurted just so freaking damn much that got me panting on the ground.
Somebody entered my eyeshot and I lifted my blurred eyes to Brett. His eyes were wide, startled and guilty. My mind quickly cleared up at his sight. He'd pushedme. He caused me pain on purpose. How could he? Brett'd never done something like this before and I for sure never considered it as a possibility. Everyone has their limits right? And we were friends once... But again he just proved me wrong.
"You-you've broken my arm?" I cried with a weak shaking voice, clenching it to my chest. He seemed horrorized at the sight of it as well but I couldn't believe him anymore. I didn't know him anymore.
"Lys, I didn't mean to... I just..." he started but I cut him off:
"S-stay away from m-me."
But he didn't listen, as always. Too caught out in his world and took another step.
"Giggles-"
"No!" I crawled back, terrorized, and shouted ignoring the hurted flashing his eyes: "Mum! Mummy, please!"
I kept screaming and crying frantically 'till the adults came and they took me to the hospital. In the end they put a cast on me, letting me chose beween the black, the blue and the red. As is that would cheer me.
My best friend had broke my arm.
That was the last straw. That day was the end of something I had been avoiding to end. I'd definitely lost the Brett I loved. Whoever he was becoming was someone I want nothing with. He was mocking, and sarcastic, and easily provoked.
That night I cried 'til there were no tears left and the next day was the start of the real torment.
|| Present ||
As soon as the leaf was handed to me a wave of disappointment. A mere C. My chest clenched. I hadn't have a mark this low since I was fifteen. I couldn't afford it if I was aiming for a scholarship.
"Well." attracked attention the boy by my side in a tone way more cheerful than mine. "Isn't it just glorious? Grandious, epic- What's with your sour face?" Brett frowned and angled his body towards mine making a weird sensation tugged my stomach. I mumbled incomprehensibly, leaning 'til my forhead pressed against the cold surface of the desk. "What?"
"We got a C." I sighed sticking out my lower lip.
"Yeah." I sensed his smirk and when I sneaked a pick of him through my hair realized I was right. "Quite good, uh?"
"Not really?" How could he say that? It was a barely passable mark, but not when I was aiming for perfection. Ignoring his furrowed brows I sat back again and inspected the project in my hands. All the notes in read marker said the basically the same. "We don't have enough solidity. It is painfully obvious which part is whose."
"That's bad?" he asked tilting his head in confusion.
"Well, as a group, it shouldn't be noticeable the change of person." I explained lowly, typing the table with the tip of my pencil, unease as Mrs Goldin talked about next project for wednesday.
I can't afford another C. No. I could vanish this from mattering in the finale mark with the next ones being perfect. So, I took in a deep breath, encouraging myself and for the first time in the whole hour, willed myself to turn to face Brett.
After yesterday outburst, my confidence hadn't been as strong as back there. I been on the edge, indeed, waiting for him to get some kind of revenge on my rudeness and for having ditched him. But, much to my surprise, he hadn't. Far from reassuring me, it only tensed me further. What was he aiming to? It's not like after everything I would fell for some nice moments. Maybe yesterday I let my guard down but it didn't mean I trust him. At all.
When my eyes met his electric blue ones for the first time, his brows perked upwards. "I..." my voice came our hoarser than I intended and I had to clear my throat, pushing down the nerves in my stomach. "Since this thing," I gestured to the slate board where next task was written in big white letters. "Is due for Wednesday, we should, um, do it together this time." My cheeks flamed and I fixed the gaze on the desk again, not wanting to face his cockiness.
"Together?" he repeated leaning backwards on the chair. "What happends with 'you'll do yours I'll do mine', uh?" he asked in a mocking way and I pursed my lips, glancing at our poor excuse of a project.
"It clearly didn't work."
Brett clicked his tongue.
"Well, Giggles, I don't wanna be the I-told-you-so-kinda guy but..."
"Then don't say it." I whined, taking quick notes on my notebook as he laughed. When the teacher stopped writing so did I and mumbled lowly, ignoring the stiffness of my muscles. "We have to do it today or tomorrow. I rather do it today."
He smirked and my heart halted, cold sweat down my spine.
"Alright. Your place or mine?"
My eyes widened but chose to ignore the double meaning of his words. There was no way he was coming my house, and I certaintly won't go his unless I had the sudden urge to die or suffer an inevitable humiliation. I shook my head.
"We'll go to the library." I stated as firmly as I could, lessening the chance of him changing my mind.
His frown deepened.
"The library?" he complained like that I just offered the worst place possible. I bit down my lip and nodded absently writing down Mrs Goldin's new notes. Brett huffed. "That's just lame. We won't be able to talk there."
"We don't need to talk. Just work."
"Sounds 'bout boring."
"Something you'll like to share, Mr Ryder?" I froze at the chilling voice of Mrs Goldin, and rose my gaze to find her form before our desks, arms folded and feet tapping impatiently.
Unaffected, Brett smirked and to my dismay decided to tease. "Just deciding where out next date would be."
The loud gasp of incredulity and surprise that escaped me was heard all along the class. My face heated furiously and I lowered my face, using my hair as a blind to protect myself against the snickers.
"Very funny, Mr Ryder, but that matter can wait a few more minutes and be discused outside my class, got it?"
"Yes, Mrs." he laughed and the teacher rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to the explanation she was giving.
The bell rang and everyone began moving as I shrank further in the seat, whishing to just disappear. "Why would you say that?"
"Come on Lys," he got up with a lopsided smile, painfully handsome and making me flush harder when he wincked. "See you after classes then."
"Uh?"
"The library?"
"Oh, yeah... Yes." I stuttered to his further amusement, getting up as well and clenching my books tightly against my chest. "See you then."
God help me.
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Hey! I know this chapter was kinda short and that it's been forever since I last update, but I'm about to finish my story Drag Me Down and I'm investing a lot of time and effort there :) Also I started a new story, so make sure to check them on my profile! I would really appreciate if you do.
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