Dazai walked into the room and jumped onto of chuuya wrapping him up in the blanket and his arms. “Chuuyaaaaa it's time to wake up~”
Chuuya had taken a while to actually wake up. He had to sleepily blink himself awake. Upon seeing Dazai, he pauses for a moment before an almost smile is on his lips despite his slightly empty feeling. He doesn’t like that Dazai is doing this to him. Helping him remember, only to drop him again…
Dazai places little butterfly kisses all over Chuuya's face as he speaks. “Your clothes are here. Also, if we don't get going soon, we won't get to the place in time.”
The smaller man made an attempt to not seem as tired as he was, since the constant dream had made him not rest well. “... how far away is it then…?” At least he tries not to make it sad.
“About 2 hours. I'm sending Atsushi and Kyoka to the store. Want anything?” Dazai asks as he stands up.
“... probably wine.” He at least has sense enough not to ruin it. He was trying for a joke again.
“They aren't of legal age to buy it.” Dazai chuckles and throws Chuuya's new clothes on the bed.
Chuuya rolls his eyes as he begins to get up. The stuffed cat fell out from wherever it had been hidden on him, and he looked at it, surprised for s moment, before thinking about last night… but he didn't want to be brought down by that, so he glances over the new clothes.
“Do you remember where and when you got that for me?” Dazai asks when he hears the jingle of the bell on its neck.
“Vaguely… I remember it was cause you were being a f*cking goofball and wasting money when you could've gotten it, so I got it for you instead.” That brought a slight smile to his lips. It was slight, but real, for the first time since getting to this house.
They were at an amusement park back then.
Dazai had a smile on his face as he got dressed for the hike. He then sent a text to Atsushi and Kyoka to send them to the store.
One of them texts back saying they got it.
Meanwhile, Chuuya is starting to change as well. He slips the pants ad shirt on and it was almost like they were made for him, the shirt was comfy and the pants… well, they made him look HOT and he knew it when he looked in the mirror.
Dazai tosses a harness at Chuuya. “I always wanted to know what you looked like in one of these since you have such a feminine body.” He was teasing Chuuya now.
He had caught it with a slight blush, half glancing at Dazai. The bastard probably wouldn’t expect him to actually wear it, would he…?”Are you f*cking serious..” He deadpans slightly, but it’s to attempt to hide to blush.
“Very.” was all he said before cleaning up around the room.
Chuuya froze for a moment, acting as if he wasn’t going to do it. However, he ends up taking it into the bathroom with himself with his clothes on and actually does put it on. He only peeks out of the door first, cause he is slightly embarrassed to be trying this on… why the hell would he…? Chuuya was making sure Dazai was busy before pulling one of the towels off first and wrapping it around his own shoulders to cover his outfit and the harness so he can show it in one smooth move.
Dazai is packing climbing gear in a bag and has yet to notice Chuuya, he humming a song that sounds very familiar and suddenly asks a question. “Would you ever commit a double suicide with me?”
He had paused and listened for a moment. At that line, he was now thinking about what if something happened and Dazai had to either kill himself or Chuuya… would Dazai choose? Or ask Chuuya? He brushes it aside for now, however, as he steps out with the long towel covering him like a royal robe. “Oi, idiot, turn on some actual music.” He makes the joking jab at Dazai like he used to always do.
“Why? Am I going to get a show?” Dazai teased. He had yet to to look at Chuuya.
“Maybe…” The way he said it suggested that Dazai probably guessed right, and Chuuya was blushing a bit more already. Maybe he liked making himself noticeable and seen.
Dazai just chuckled and turned to look at Chuuya. “Save it for tonight before I take you home?” Dazai suggests, knowing it would ruin the mood.
It somewhat did, but maybe Chuuya knew exactly what Dazai was doing, because he shakes his head stubbornly. A subtle attempt at a glare. Dazai always got his way. Now, time for Chuuya to get his way once again, like what rarely happens.
Dazai sighs and sits back in a chair before tossing Chuuya a phone. “Go ahead then.”
Chuuya managed to catch it without revealing anything under the long towel, then he looks through it and finds one of those songs with a a nice bass drum sound to it before hitting play, turning it up, and setting the phone on the bed. He’s always a lot less shy with either music or alcohol. Either one works.
The intro to the song plays first and Chuuya takes that time to find the beat first.
Dazai is watching looking rather amused knowing Chuuya wouldn't do anything.
It just so happens that Chuuya knows this song from his later years. He’s been practicing a certain dance routine at home for a while now, since he really would like to perform. On a cymbal crash, he whips the towel off and does a 360 degree spin as he squats to the floor and back up all in one big, smooth, grand motion. Then pose when the music pauses. He has the outfit on plus the harness on top of it all. And he’s smirking now.
He continues as he dances. It’s not normal to look so good, but he can pull it off as he does an obviously practiced routine. Then halfway through, he stops and improvises because the normal one is getting too boring. He makes his way over to Dazai when the song is almost over, and when he gets there, strutting, mind you, he goes and kisses Dazai, purposely barely missing his lips. There’s a couple more moves before he actually kisses Dazai for real at the very end on the lips.
Dazai watches in amazement till Chuuya kisses him, which prompts Dazati to grab him by the harness and deepen the kiss as well as nipping at Chuuya's bottom lip, something that used to drive him crazy.
As it turns out, it still does, and the action of doing so as the song fades off makes the smaller man moan a short, soft note before he somewhat silences himself, though it’s hard to do, due to how good at kissing Dazai still is.
Dazai pulls Chuuya in his lap while still kissing him and nipping his bottom lip.
Chuuya ends up complying like he always did at that moment, his eyes slipping shut in trust of this Dazai. This one that was a murderer. He trusted this Dazai.
Dazai pulls away and looks at Chuuya somewhat breathlessly. “I hate to do this but we really need to get going.”
Chuuya had looked back for a moment. Still drunk off of the kiss, he steps off of Dazai and into the bathroom to take that harness off. He hadn’t said anything because there was nothing else to say. It was just an impulse to do this.
Dazai had a bag over his shoulder and was standing at the elevator outside the doors of the room waiting for Chuuya.
Chuuya would have stuff with him as well, his clothes on without the harness on now and his shoes were at the door. He would grab them. He gets in the elevator with Dazai.
Dazai is humming in the the same song he always does as he hits the button to the basement. He occasionally steals glances at Chuuya.
Part of what Chuuya is feeling is pretty good, but there’s also that underlying stubbornness about not wanting to leave because of some promise he made while they were in their teen years. Chuuya’s in thought until once, their eyes make contact. Chuuya then asks, “... so then, all of this is why you tried to break up with me back then…?” That was a pretty deep question, but he must be asking for a reason.
“Yea, that and your life would have been in danger. I was given two opinions when I got back. Move and leave you, or stay and kill you. I chose to move and leave you but now that I think about it, we could have died together. But the only one that would be dying in the end is me because I can't go through living without you again. I-I want to be greedy and ask you to stay with me, but I know it would only break you, knowing what I do. “ Dazai was saying exactly what was in his mind as he spoke.
Chuuya suddenly speaks now, saying, “Then according to that, you’re not a monster. Monsters wouldn’t feel bad for something like that.” He almost looks amused at this point. Then, he’s serious again.“And, for the record, I would have rather taken you up on a double suicide offer if the only other choice was to watch you die or kill yourself…” He mutter the last part, but it was a definite, and he meant it. “My parents are homophobic and my sister is going to move out soon, so I really don’t want her to worry about me.” Then he looks over at Dazai and says, “You’re the only one who fully accepts me…I’m just as greedy as you.” This is how he feels.
The elevator stops, and the doors open to what looks like a hospital wing rather than a basement. Stepping out, Dazai turns to look at Chuuya. “I promised your sister I would bring you back tonight.. it was part of a deal we made before that night at the bar. “
Chuuya is silent for a longer period of time as he seemed to be plunged into a sour mood again. But he followed Dazai. “..What-...?” he follows for a few moments longer before quietly suggesting, “... we could always fake a double suicide…” That felt worth contemplating, he thought, following Dazai while staring at the ground.
“Honestly your sister knows everything that's happened the past 7 years.” Dazai says as he walks down a bright lit hallway.
He sighs. “I wouldn’t be surprised if everything was a lie at this point… but you wouldn’t lie to me.” He says this with complete certainty.
“Nope, only if I'm forced to.” Dazai pops the ‘p’ then stops for a moment “.... You don't know about them do you?....”
Chuuya looks clueless about what Dazai’s saying when he says this. He simply looks up at Dazai and blinks, confusedly.
“My father was having an affair with your sister while my mother was alive, she paid me to kidnap you because he had proposed to her the week before.” Dazai is now looking straight at Chuuya as he speaks.
“...wait, who paid you…?” Chuuya was slightly confused, but he wants to know who he’s talking about it.
“Your sister.” this was all Dazai said as he studied Chuuya.
Chuuya seemed to believe Dazai, but his eyes said it was only because it was Dazai telling him this. That’s probably true. If anyone else told him that, he’d have smacked them. None of his family ever told stories about themself to Chuuya, though Kouyou tried to tell him some of the good memories he had, excluding Dazai. Chuuya didn’t have too hard a time believing Dazai.
Dazai finally reached the door to the outside and opened it he hissed lightly at the sun as it hit him.
Chuuya stretched slightly when he got outside as well and then looks at Dazai. “Oi… if you got caught before that night at the bar, would you have regretted not being careful enough…?” That was kind of a weird question, but hypothetically.
“I've been trying to get caught but Oda and his husband constantly cover for me regardless of what I say.” Dazai lets out a whine and start walking up a hill to his left.
“... husband… “ he repeats this thoughtfully. He glances over at Dazai as he says this.
Dazai looks back at Chuuya. “Hmm? Did you say something, angel?” Dazai hadn't called him that pet name since he was 15.
Chuuya paused for a moment at that. He's pretty sure his face betrays his surprise, but he didn't even mind anymore. He just actually smiled this time as he hugs Dazai again. This time wrapping his arms around the back of his neck. “Just contemplating the word ‘husband’.” He says casually. At least as casually as a happy Chuuya can.
“Are you thinking about marrying a serial killer?” Dazai asks with a fake over dramatic gasp.
“Maybe I'm crazy enough to do just that.” He replied. “Just so happens that the one I'm thinking about happens to need a wider variety of food in his life.” Now he actually smiles. Handsomely.
Dazai leans down and kisses Chuuya's forehead softly. “Mmm, I'm fine with what I eat now.”
In the gayest voice he can muster, he sasses a reply, “Nuh-uh, you're a f*cking skinny b*tch!” of course that was a great joke.
“Coming from the one I had to put in a coma for six weeks because he refused to eat.” Dazai teases.
“Maybe I only refused to eat because you didn't hand feed it to me.” Chuuya suggests with a smirk.
Things seemed to be back to normal for the time being after about 30 more minutes dazai stops at a little private cemetery with four graves the newest one has the doll he was looking for last night on top of it.
Chuuya saw them from a bit further away and stopped there, not quite comfortable with going in there, especially when he saw the doll. He even looked away as if was waiting for Dazai or looking around at the nature around here.
Only three had headstones, even from the distance Chuuya was it was easy to tell it was Dazai's mother and siblings.
Chuuya hadn't ever had a close family member die before, since he wasn't particularly close to any of them except Kouyou more so than others, but she was still alive.
Dazai stopped there for a good 15 minutes before he turned and started walking down a long winding path. “Now we have another hour and half of walking.”
Trying to lighten up the mood a bit, Chuuya flips all his hair to one side and puts a hand on his hip. “Then we better hurry up and ride, cowboy.” This was sassy… and in English.
Whether or not it worked, they eventually settled back into rhythm and continued the rest of the way. When they were nearly there, Chuuya had poked Dazai and then pretended like he did nothing. Usually, it was reversed.
Dazai would occasionally look over at Chuuya to make sure he didn't look like he was about to pass out.
He hadn't shown any definite signs of passing out, but he did look a shade or so paler about half way through. Though it seemed like he didn't notice it. Either that or he was purposely hiding it and pushing himself for the sake of this date. He did quiet down almost completely by this time as well.
After fifteen more minutes of walking dazai walks into a large clearing with a cliff. “We're here.”
Chuuya looks out over the cliff, eyes widening a bit and then looking back at Dazai. This seems to have woken him up a bit.
“You wanna rest for a few?” Dazai could see fatigue setting in.
He glances back out at the horizon. “Probably should… are you aware of how many promises I've kept to people since after the accident…” He kind of mutters to himself now. “Five hundred and twenty-six. And counting.” He looks over at Dazai. Not counting the one he made to Dazai… yet.
“This one I'm not allowing you to keep Chuuya. I refuse.” Dazai lets out a loud sigh.
“I may offer an exchange, but only for this one. How about this. Promise me that you'll find me again sometime in this life, then maybe I'll allow myself to drop just this one…” he finally murmurs. Though he looks regretful for saying that. As if all he wanted was to help Dazai. “Or… just let me try to some extent.” he would much prefer that option.
“Chuuya. I can't. I won't be alive that much longer.” It was clear from his tone of voice; his mind was already made up.
There's a dead silence now. “Then what if I ended up following you anyways?” He knows that he can't bear a life without the one person that makes him whole.
“I can't allow that either… why would you do that for me? I don't deserve that.” Dazai says looking at Chuuya.
Chuuya pressed his lips flat against each other before replying with, “... ironically… you're the only one that makes me feel actually alive.” He glances over with an almost smile, “How the hell could I let go of that…?” Tears haven't fallen yet, but they gathered a in his eyes a little as he said this.
“Because, I take human lives. They have so much to live for and I cut it short and for what reason? Why am I doing this.. why have I done this?” After 7 and a half years, Dazai finally broke and fell to his knees with his head in his hands.
Chuuya went down and hugged him. “... for me, wasn't it…? He tried to take something precious from you.” He realizes it now. “I wouldn't care if you took my life because… it's not called taking if it's already been given to you.” He sits down now, still hugging Dazai. For the first time in forever, he purposely let silent tears run down his cheeks. More like mourning for his… BOYFRIEND'S lost innocence. But he didn't close his eyes. He stared out at the sky.
“It doesn't make up for all the innocent people I killed or the fact I killed my younger siblings. I was greedy and it's something I need to pay for.” Dazai's voice is barely above a whisper.
“If you're gonna consider it that way… then isn't death just running away from all the punishment? I would run away from this world without you… without color.” Chuuya leans close to the other's ear to whisper to him. “So I need to tell /my/ whole world who my color is.” He ends up leaning on the man besides him, finally resting.
Dazai looks at Chuuya from the corner of his eye tears still running down his face. He the shifts to lean against a rock so Chuuya can rest his head on his lap.
“And the nice thing is… I don't have to shout it out in order for the world to hear, no. My world is right.. here.”He reaches an arm to poke Dazai's head. “And my world is my only color.” He smiles up at Dazai from his lap while he's laying there.
Dazai lets out a small chuckle before grabbing one of Chuuya's hands and holding it.
“You hear me? You. You're my world. And the only wild splash of color that I see. If a world dies, it's inhabitants can't survive long.” Chuuya's just tired and rambling now, but he still means what he says.
Dazai leans down and softly kisses Chuuya on the lips while he slides something onto Chuuya's finger before pulling back, only to kiss the gold ring he just put on Chuuya's ring finger.