Karly-
I'm back.
It's been years since you last heard from me. Amir was the last baby I had and he is almost 3 years old. Karlynn is 16 years old now. This brat has everything I didn't have when I was 16 but she doesn't like it. I heard her over the phone telling her lil friend that she wanted to be from the "hood". I laughed about it for a second but then I got mad. Why would you want to be from the hood when everyone in the hood wants to have everything you have. Karlynn is gonna work up my nerve with that shit. I did everything I could to make it to where I am now.
I guess she wanna be like me when I was younger. Getting raped by older man, getting took away from my mom. Running away and hanging in the streets. I did all of that but I made sure before I turned 21 that I had everything together before I even knew that my dad had some money for me. That's not even the biggest problem. Karlynn is now getting to the age where she wants to know about her father and who killed him and all that investigation shit. I don't blame her.
I was the same way looking for my father. But how should I tell her that Amir's dad killed her dad ?. I don't want to hurt her or make her look at me different that's why I've been avoiding her questions. It'll hurt me to see my teenage daughter hurt cause of the truth, but I know someday I have to tell her the truth.
I woke up in the morning. All my kids were still sleeping. Its 5 am, Karlynn and KJ don't get up until 7 am. I run me a bubble bath in my large tub. I love relaxing in my tub. I miss them days when Kendrick would be in the tub with me. He was a hood nigga but he loved bubble baths. I always teased him about that kind if stuff. I was in deep thought about all the memories me and Kendrick had. Miss them days when I could be laid in his arms. I don't got nobody now. Don't no nigga want a bitch with 4 kids. Well at least some don't. Some niggas been all over me even joked to be my kids stepdaddy.
I laugh at that joke all the time because nobody and I do mean nobody can handle my kids. They all are crazy and all have smart mouths. I can't deal with them half the time, but I love them with all my heart. They all I got. I haven't been in love for some years and I think its time. After August died and I had Amir I was done with relationships, love allat other shit.
I think I'm ready now. But I don't wanna just bring any kind of man around my kids. I wanna make sure that man is good. I just hope my crazy kids don't scare him away. I emailed a few producers and artists. I'm back singing out here. I finished my relaxing session until I was damn near wrinkled from the water. I got out and got dressed into my satin silk two piece and a robe. My body was still banging to have had 4 kids.
I heard Karlynn's Alarm go off. I walked into Amir's room. He was still sleeping. I walked to his bed and looked at him. "Damn he look like his dad" I whispered. I left out his room and went into the hallway. Karlynn was standing there looking mean. "What's wrong ?" I asked. "Nothing mom, it's just that time of the month" she said. "Awwn, I'm sorry" I said rubbing her head. "I'm good mama" she said. She went in the bathroom and I went into K.J's room. "Kendrick, wake up" I said. "I'm already up mama I just need a few more minutes" he said. "You better stay off that game at night and maybe you can sleep" I said. I left out his room and went into the kitchen to make breakfast.
I made Eggs , Bacon, Sausage, Rice, Cinnamon rolls and French toast from scratch. I can throw down. After I was done I started eating. My phone rang right after I put my plate In the sink. It's probably Vanessa crazy ass. I grabbed my phone and it was my manager. Oh shit I probably got a gig or something. "Hello" I answered. "Hey bitch" said my manager Tia. "Hey tia" I said. "Well I got some news" she said. "I'm listening" I said. "Do you know 600 Breezy?" She asked. "No I don't" I said. "Well he's a Chicago Drill rapper and he wants to meet you" she said. "600 , 600, Ohhhh the fine ass hood nigga from that party I went to in Chicago" I said. "Yes" she said. "Ohh yes I'll be glad to work with him" I said. Tia laughed. "Well he having a mixtape release party here in Atlanta and he invited you" she said.
"When is it" I asked. "MAMAAA" yelled Amir. "Hold on" I said. I went upstairs and went in Amir's room. He was standing there and pointing at his pot. I clapped my hands. "good job baby" I said. I wiped his butt. "Lynnn put Amir in the tub for me" I said. "Okay mama" she said. She came out her room and put him in the tub. "I'm sorry girl, Amir is potty training" I said. "It's okay" she said. "Well the party is tonight at 10 " she said. "Okay that's perfect" I said. "All right be safe tonight" she said. "I will" she said.
I went upstairs and washed Amir up in the tub. "Mama imma big boy" said Amir. "Yes you are baby" I said. I washed his hair. He had some long hair but I cut it off. August had pretty hair. Amir hair is real curly. I always wondering what he was mixed with. I use to rub in his hair when we was intimate. I got him dressed and put him on some clean clothes. I got Khadija ready. Their daycare Van pulled up and I kissed them goodbye.
Today was supposed to be my relax day but I gotta go see Breezo. I met 600 Breezy like a while back when I went to Chicago. I was 3 months pregnant with K.J. I remember that party. I wasn't smoking or drinking but I was just sitting there. Breezy kept looking at me and pointing. Then he came and sat next to me and tried to spark a conversation, but I was not really into him. Plus he wasn't my type and Kendrick would've fucked me up. I don't know what I should wear. I haven't stepped out in a while.
I go through my closet and pull out all my party outfits. Some of them I couldn't even fit anymore cause of my ass getting bigger. I put on a lil weight after I had Amir. I seen a silver and black jumpsuit and my silver red bottoms. "Yup this what I'm wearing" I said. I gotta look like a bad bitch. Breezo so damn fine now. I follow him on IG so I been seeing how fine he had got. I don't have nothing to do but to kill time. I call up Vanessa.
"Hello ?" She answered. "Hey bitchhh" I said. "Hey sis, what's going on ?" She said. "Nothing, I just wanted to tell you sum, bitch guess who I'm going to see ?" I said. "Who ?" She asked. "600 Breezy" I said. "Fr ?, 600 breezy ?" She asked. "Yessss" I said. "His fine ass" she said. "Girl I know, I am so geeked" I said. "Well I'll call you later, I gotta do sum" she said. I frowned. "Okay call me" I said. We hung up. Vanessa ain't been the same since Drock got locked up. I feel like our relationship had went downhill since he left. I turned on some old school music and started cleaning up the house and doing laundry.
"I never would of made it, without youuuu" I sang. I swear when I'm by myself, cleaning up. I feel like it's a concert and I'm singing in front of people. I can't wait to have that feeling again. The tour with August had me feeling like I was the biggest celebrity in the whole world. I cleaned the house until 1:00. I texted Karlynn and told her she had to watch Khadija and Amir. I know she tired of watching them every other night but I have to do this shit to make sum more money. Plus I don't even pay her hundreds, shit I pay her 1,000 every time she watched my kids. I deposit it right to her bank account. I pay her car note and insurance and phone bill. She don't pay for nothing.
I sat on the couch and watched tv. After a while Karlynn and K.J came into the house. "How was school ?" I asked them. "Good mama" said KJ. He came and hugged me and gave me a kiss. KJ is a mama's boy. He always gives me a kiss and a hug and always up under me when he ain't on that game. "Mama So can I got to Keisha house before I have to watch them kids" she asked. "Where she live ?" I asked. "Bankhead" she said. "Bank who ?" I said as I looked at her crazy. "What in the T.I.P Harris did you say ?" I asked. "Mama that's where she live" she said. "Ohh Hell no stay your ass in this house" I said. "Lord is my shepherd, this baby said Bankhead" I repeated. "OHH MY GOD" she yelled. She stormed off and went to her room and slammed the door.
No child of mine will go to the ghetto and I mean that shit. Hell I'll kill one of mine before they go out there. Keisha better come over here. I bet she live in them Techwood Projects. I know cause that's where I grew up. I watched some Black Ink Crew. I love watching reality tv shows. That's all I watch. Amir and Khadija came a couple hours later. Amir was sick and Khadija got in trouble at school for talking back to a teacher. "Khadija, I should be beating your ass for disrespecting an adult" I said. She looked at me and looked off and went into her room. I took Amir's temperature he was burning up. I made him some lil soup, Fed it to him, gave him some Benadryl.
After a while he was out cold. I look at the clock it was 8:30. I needed a little nap. I went in my room and laid down. I fell asleep after a while. When I woke up it was 10:30. I hopped in the shower and started doing my make up and getting ready after I got out. After 45 minutes I was ready. "LYNN, I'm leaving" I said. "Okayyy" she said. I left out and got in my limo when it pulled up. I was nervous the whole ride there. I don't know why. I just ain't been out in a minute so I don't know what to expect tonight. After a hour drive to the inner city, my limo driver let me out to Club Envy. I walked in and showed the bouncer my ID and my VIP room pass.
I walked upstairs to the party room and opened the door. It was a big group of people. Bitches shaking ass, Niggas shooting dice, some drinking, some popping yopps, allat shit. Soon as I stepped in every nigga eye connected to me. I just smiled and waved and went to the bar and ordered drinks. After a while a girl walked over to me with a bottle. "Breezo bought this for you" she said. "Tell him I said thanks" I said. "Damn, he brought me some Belair, the white one at that I'm finna drink this shit" I said. I opened the top and drink out the bottle.
"PRETTY EYES" yelled a voice. I looked over and it was Breezo signaling me to come over to him. I grabbed my drink and walked over to him. He was sitting there looking sexy as hell. He had some stacks on his lap and a blunt in his hand. I sat next to him. He grabbed my arm and pulled me up to his lap. He moved his money and hugged around my waist. He hit his blunt and let the smoke out. He licked his lips and looked up at me biting his lips. I smiled. "What ?" I said. His eyes was low and bright red. "Where yo fine ass been at ma ?" He asked. "Home" I said. "Aw you live here ?" He asked. "Hell yeah" I said. "Aww what ? I just moved here" he said. "Foreal ?" I asked. "Hell yeah, I just moved into my big ass crib a few days ago, I'm throwing a Barbecue, you should come" he said. "Cool I'll be there" I said. "What's your name ?" He asked me. "Karly" I said. "That's cute as hell" he said. "My real name Antonio" he said. "Ohh I know" I said. "Ohh you know huh ?" He said. "Yeah" I said. I took a drink out the bottle. He watched me drink it. "Damn you must be grown as hell" he said. "Well you ain't suppose to ask a women her age but I'm 32" I said. "Damnnn" he said. "I'm only 27" he added. "I know" I said.
"Yeahh that's just what I wanted" he said. "What you mean ?" I asked. "I wanted a older women" he said. "Ohh you like cougars ?" I asked. "Sum like that, I mean you ain't no cougar cause you only a few years older but yeah that's what I wanted" he said. "You got kids ?" He asked. "Yeah 4 of them" I said. "Damn Auntie you got you a crew" he said. We laughed and joked for a while. "Enough with me" I said. "You got kids ?" I asked. "Yeah 2 kids a boy and a girl" he said. "You coo with yo Baby mama's ?" I asked. "One of em" he said. "Shit the other one crazy, but she don't talk to me unless she need some money" he said. "Fuck that bitch" he snapped
"DAMNN, BREEZO" said some random nigga. "Shorty ass bad as hell, who this ?" He asked. Dude grabbed on my jumpsuit. "BITCH STOP TOUCHING ME" I snapped. Breezo got mad and pushed the man hand off me. "Damn Breezo this yo bitch a sum ?" He snapped. "BITCH ?" I snapped. I started snapped and getting all in the dude face. Breezy stood up and grabbed me and moved me out the way. "Aye get yo real goofy, freaky ass away from me and my shorty" he snapped. "Man folks you in love now ?" He asked. "Boaa I'm not finna play wit you, move yo ass around boa on my kids" he snapped. Breezy looked like he wanted to kill the dude. I stepped in front of him and grabbed on him. "Stop" I said. "Antonio stop this shit" I snapped. The nigga walked off. "Bum ass , beefy ones wearing ass nigga" Breezy snapped. "Hey, look at me" I snapped. He looked down at me and bit his lips like he was ready to tap sum. "I'm sorry, he doing too much baby" he said.
Next thing I know, shots rang out in the club. Pow PoW Pow!!. I took my heels off and ran. Breezy stopped me. "Put my blick in yo purse shorty" he said. I snatched his gun and put it in my purse and ran out to the lot. Police snatched him up and put him in handcuffs and sat him on the curb. "Sir, my husband ain't have nothing to do with it" I said. "Who are you ?" Said the Officer. "His wife" I said pointing at Breezy. "Baby if they don't let you go I'm coming to get you tonight" I said. I acted like I was a white woman. "Ma'am calm down, we're gonna let him go now" said an Officer. They uncuffed him and he grabbed my hand and walked me to his car. "You need a ride lil baby ?" He asked. "Hell yeah" I said.
We got into his truck and he drove off. "Thanks for saving me" he thanked. "Your welcome" I said. "Husband?" He questioned. "What you wanted me to be like , uhh uhh that's my babydaddy" I said. He started cracking up. "Nahh baby I'm just saying that's cute" he said. "Mhmm" I said. I directed him to where I live. After like an hour we arrived to my house. "Damnnn, you got a muhhfuking castle" he said. "Boy where you think 4 kids live ?" I asked. "Shit not in no damn castle, me and my cousins use to live with granny in a 2 bed room" he said. "Well my kids ain't doing allat" I said. "Well shit my house like 4 blocks from yours so when ever yo kids need a step daddy, I'll be down here" he said. I laughed.
"Wait lemme get yo number shorty" he said. I gave him my number. "Okay, Imma text you baby" he said. "Okay" I said. I walked up my driveway. When I got to the house Karlynn car was gone. "What the fuck" I said. I unlocked the door and threw my shoes and walked upstairs. I stormed into her room. I didnt see her . I checked in my other kids room and Amir was missing. I checked my phone and I had a few miss calls from Karlynn and a text.
Oldest Love- Mama Amir was throwing up, so I took him to the ER.
I smiled. I deposited 2,000 dollars in her bank and slipped on some regular clothes and drove up to the hospital. When I got there she was holding Amir in the waiting room. She needed a parent to check him in. I went up there and checked him in. "Lynn how long y'all been up here" I asked. "Just a few minutes" I said. "Thanks, your becoming more responsible so, this weekend I'm letting you invite Keisha over" I said. I usually don't let nobody spend a night over our house but I'm letting her do what she want.
"Foreal ?" Karlynn asked. She was smiling from ear to ear, looking like she just won a lottery. "Mama I love you" she said. I smirked. "Mhm" I said. "EEEeee" she shrieked. I laughed. "Mama your gonna love Keisha" she said. "I mean she is a little bit ghetto but you'll love her" she said. I smiled. "Amir Alsina" the nurse called. Karlynn held Amir and I grabbed his coat and stuff. The nurse weighted and measured Amir and then got us in the room.
The nurse checked him in and told us to wait for the doctor. "Mama, so who you go and see ?" She asked. "Ouuu girl" I said putting my hands on my hip. "I nan met y'all Step-daddy" I said. Karlynn laughed. "I'm serious girl" I said. "Okay when we gon meet him ?" She asked. "Well, he is throwing a bbq tomorrow, do you wanna come ?" I asked. "Yess, they better have some good food" she said. "I can't wait to meet him" she said.
The doctor came in and unbuttoned Amir's onesie and checked his breathing and asked me some questions. They did a throat swab and everything they could check. They told me that he had a fever and prescribed some medicine to help it go down. I grabbed his prescription from the pharmacy and we left and got in he car to go home.
We stopped at a red light. "Mama, what was Amir's Dad like ?" She asked. I looked up and then I signed. "Well, he was a good man to me" I said . While me and your dad was not together, I was with Amir's dad on and off" I added. "I heard his dad was a famous singer" she said. "Yes he was, August Alsina" I said. "Omg August Alsina ?" She asked. "Yes" I said. "Mama how you get him ?" She asked. "My career, I went on tour with him" I said.
We talked for the rest of the night. It was at least like 6 am where we got back to the house. I was worn out from all that had happened at the club and Amir being sick.