"I kind of hate that it's only the guys today," Kitty mumbled as she and Bree walked towards the gym. Julie had done her first big move as head cheerleader, calling a practice now that they had the day off from glee.
"Are you kidding me?" Bree sneered. "I'd rather be doing flips and waving pom poms in the air than with the train wreck glee club is today. Sam is doing a terrible job and the guys are making it worse. If only we had Julie's stick-to-it-iveness to help get things along but it's like she's just a doll sitting motionless with us most of the time and--"
Kitty made a face, indicating for Bree to turn her head. There, she saw Julie with Ryder, who had evidently just walked her to the gym entrance.
"I should get back to the choir room," Ryder told her, bending down his enormous broad body to kiss her briefly on the lips before heading out. "I'll call you later, alright?"
Julie nodded as he turned and walked away, glancing at Bree and Kitty only briefly before heading down the hallway. "Have fun with Sam!" Kitty called out to him.
"Doubt it!" Ryder shouted back without turning around. The girls followed Julie into the gym, where they tried to strike a conversation with her. But she had her game face on and was ready to put them through the most intense workout of their cheerleading careers.
***
"Bring your gym stuff with you boys?" asked Will as he walked into the choir room, wearing sweat pants and a muscle shirt. They nodded so he said, "Fantastic. Leave all your other things here, change, and meet me out on the track."
***
"What are we going to do?" Ryder questioned Sam as he and the others followed him to the track outside, which surrounded the soccer field. Sam ignored him, leading the guys outside. They saw the Cheerios working out on the field, already looking exhausted, and wondered what was going on when they met with Will and Coach Beiste.
"Ready boys?" asked Will, grinning mischievously.
"For what exactly?" Joe stuttered, watching the girls nervously and hoping they wouldn't have to do anything embarrassing.
"To prove that you can be men," said Coach Beiste in a raspy manner. "Schuester told me all about your disrespect for women." She shook her head as she glared down at the lot. "Pity, I thought we were past all that when this fool graduated." She nodded over to Sam, who only smiled at this. "Sam, why don't you tell them what I'd do to you, Hudson, Puckerman, Karofsky... Anyone back then who needed a little shaping up..."
Sam sneered at the boys and said, "She helped us get abs like this." He lifted up his shirt and did a turn and they heard a few of the girls giggle in the distance, lifting Sam's ego even higher.
"I'm so confused..." muttered Jake, turning to Ryder who looked away without a word. Jake sighed, realizing they were in no way cool with each other.
"It wasn't pretty," said Sam, shaking his head but the smile on his face not quite fading. "If you thought I was hard on you guys last year when making our calendar, you're in for a nice treat here with Coach Beiste."
"Enough chit chat ladies," Coach Beiste said. "Let's get down to business. Starting with five laps around the field. Now." She blew her whistle and Will laughed as the guys began running, with Sam joining them and leading them. Ryder rolled his eyes, seeing as he didn't have to join them but was just showing off how effortlessly he could keep up with them.
When they had finished running, the less athletic of the guys were exhausted. Ryder's face was flushed and he dripped in sweat but he admitted that that wasn't that bad as Jake reached for a bottle water he'd brought with him. Beiste kicked it away, sneering as she faced the others.
"You think you're done here fellas?" she asked, chuckling. "You're not even close. On the ground and give me fifty, now."
The guys groaned as they dropped to the moist grass and began working out. A few of them grunted as they struggled to lift their bodies, so Will chuckled and began using his foot to add to their weight.
"Seriously boys?" he asked. "The girls over there are doing better than you all and they've only had one break between last period and now."
"They're pitiful, Will," Coach Beiste told him. "It's worst than we thought. We're going to have to do the full killing machine for this lot."
Music began playing as the guys continued to do their push-ups.
["I'll Make a Man Out of You" from Mulan.]
Beiste: Let's get down to business to defeat the Huns... Did they send me daughters when I asked for sons? You're the saddest bunch I ever met. But you can bet before we're through. Mister, I'll make a man out of you.
The first done was Sam, who waited for Jake to finish next to lead him to the next task, with Ryder joining them soon after. He had them do lunges across the length of the soccer field, right past the cheerleaders who, although tired themselves, were glad they weren't male at the moment.
Will: Tranquil as a forest but on fire within. Once you find your center you are sure to win.
While Sam led Jake and Ryder in the third task, jumping jacks, and Beiste began to lead the second group to finish, John and Joe, into lunges, Will stayed behind with Rory, Alex and Dan, who struggled with the push-ups still.
Will: You're a spineless, pale, pathetic lot and you haven't got a clue. Somehow I'll make a man out of you.
As the three stood up, Will urged them towards the field for their own set of lunges.
Dan: I'm never gonna catch my breath
Rory: Say good bye to those who knew me
Alex: Boy, was I fool in school for cutting gym
As Sam forced Ryder and Jake into doing sixty jumping jacks, Jake and Ryder felt themselves bonding over their mutual dislike of Sam's current authority over them. As John and Joe began their jumping jacks with Beiste, Sam led his two to one of the gymnasiums and towards the inner pool. First they did sit-ups by the bleachers and then it was into the pool. They were soon joined by the others, who, seeing that they were still doing laps, feared for how many they'd have to do.
As Will sat his boys down for sit-ups and Beiste shoved hers forcefully into the pool, Alex took advantage of Will's attention being on the swimmers to take a break, continuing to count although he was no longer sitting up.
Rory: This guy's got 'em scared to death
Alex: Hope he doesn't see right through me
Dan: Now I really wish that I knew how to swim
After they were all done in the pool, it was back to doing laps outside. The girls were still there, though they seemed to have taken a break, unlike them. This time around, even Jake and Ryder struggled running laps and Sam seemed a bit exhausted himself, fueled only by his desire to help the guys out.
Boys: (Be a man)
Will and Beiste: We must be swift as the coursing river
Boys: (Be a man)
Will and Beiste: With all the force of a great typhoon
Boys: (Be a man)
Will and Beiste: With all the strength of a raging fire. Mysterious as the dark side of the moon.
Jake panted as Sam pushed him to the ground for him to begin his push-ups. Ryder followed suit, not wanting Sam to shove him down as he feared he wouldn't be able to recover, and waited for the other flushed, sweaty boys to join them as he did his set, more slowly this time.
Beiste: Time is racing toward us till the Huns arrive. Heed my every order and you might survive.
Will: You're unsuited for the rage of war. So pack up, go home, you're through.
Both: How could I make a man out of you?
They did the full set four more times, with every time getting more and more tired as the sky outside darkened. The cheerleaders were still there, to their surprised, groaning every time Julie blew her whistle. Watching her force them to keep going, Ryder thought about the parallels between she and Sam, wondering how it could have ever worked out between them if they were both incredibly bossy when they wanted to be.
Boys: (Be a man)
All: We must be swift as the coursing river
Boys: (Be a man)
All: With all the force of a great typhoon
Boys: (Be a man)
All: With all the strength of a raging fire. Mysterious as the dark side of the moon.
When they were finally finished, or so they thought, Will let them get their water bottles. "Hit the showers fellas," Beiste called out to them as they started walking away. "You're not done yet." They groaned, not knowing what was ahead of them but at least pleased that they were done with the exercise portion, as indicated by the fact that they were allowed to shower and change out of their dirty clothes.
***
"What else do you think they'll have to do?" asked Bree as they took another break outside and watched the boys disappear inside the main building. Julie allowed them all to go to the bleachers and sit down, as they were to wait for Sue to give additional instructions before they could go home.
Kitty shrugged, turning to Bree. "I don't know," she said. "I'm not sure who is worse. Beiste or Sylvester."
"Sylvester," said Bree without any semblance of doubt in her voice. "Are you kidding... Sure, Beiste works them harded physically because they're built to be able to take it, for the most part. But Sue can't go that far with us, so she uses darker forces. Emotionally torture."
Kitty forced a laugh. "You sound so paranoid," she told her, though deep down she knew Bree was right about Sue. When their coach finally arrived, she asked to see them aside individually to assess where they stood-- something which the girls all knew meant she was going to make cuts of the weakest. Julie was up first, followed by Bree, Carrie, Peyton, Michelle, and finally Kitty. Once she was done, she and Bree joined Julie off to the side.
"We need to talk to you," Bree began. "About your sudden loyalty to Coach Sylvester."
"What are you talking about?" said Julie as she flipped through her clipboard, much as Sue often did. If it weren't for the hair and the absence of a tracksuit, she might be mistaken for a small clone of Sue Sylvester.
"We've been talking about her offer to you," Kitty said in a much more gentle voice than Bree had used. "And we think you should cut it. Stay away and beware, you know?"
"Of what?" Julie said, obviously irritated. "She's a cheerleading coach, not freaking Mufasa."
Bree and Kitty looked at each other, then turned to her simultaneously. "Look," Kitty said, "we know this is a great opportunity for you-- being Sue's henchwoman, but trust us. We've both been there and it never ends well."
"Only because you two failed to accomplish what she wanted," Julie told them.
"And you won't?" Bree snapped. "What are you going to do, Julie, help her take down glee club once and for all?"
Julie shook her head. "That's not what she's after," she told them.
"That's what she's making you thing," Kitty said.
"She may not be Mufasa," Bree added, "but she is evil. She's like... like... Cruella De Vil!"
["Cruella De Vil" from 101 Dalmatians.]
Bree: Cruella De Vil. Cruella De Vil. If she doesn't scare you, no evil thing will.
"Oh Bree..." Julie muttered, shaking her head.
Bree: To see her is to take a sudden chill. Cruella... Cruella...
Julie rolled her eyes and began to walk away but Kitty and Bree followed after her.
Kitty: The curl of her lips. The ice in her stare. All innocent children had better beware. She's like a spider waiting for the kill.
Julie looked up and saw that they were getting close to Sue. "Kitty," she hissed. "She'll hear you!"
Kitty: Look out for Cruella De Vil.
She walked off in the opposite direction to steer them from Sue, realizing they were going to see the song through.
Bree: At first you think Cruella is a devil.
Kitty: But after time has worn away the shock.
Bree: You come to realize.
Kitty: You've seen her kind of eyes.
Both: Watching you from underneath a rock!
They smiled as Julie slumped down at the corner of the furthest bleachers, far away from Sue's earshot. Sitting down on either side of her, the girls went on.
Bree: This vampire bat. This inhuman beast.
Kitty: She ought to be locked up and never released
Both: The world was such a wholesome place until. Cruella, Cruella De Vil.
As the girls rushed back to see if Sue had made any cuts, Sue dismissed them, not revealing any decisions she'd made. Julie rolled her eyes at Bree, asking Kitty to take her home without another word against anyone else.
***
Will sat the boys down in the choir room floor, forming a circle and joining them. Beiste and Sam also joined them, adding to the discomfort and tension in their circle.
"Are you boys ready?" asked Will, breaking the silence and the awkward stares.
"For?" asked Alex.
Will smiled. "To become men," he answered.
"Didn't we prove anything with that insane workout?" asked Ryder, still tired out and with his long legs outstretched into the circle.
"That was just to get your attention," Sam grinned.
"You've got to be kidding me..." John muttered.
Beiste chuckled. "Boys, boys, boys," she told them. "You have to understand that physicality and woman conquest are not things that make you a man. It's how you treat others and the means you go to to protect your loved ones."
"Having a purpose," Will added, "that makes you a man. And judging by your recent attitudes, none of you have left boyhood just yet. Sam, why don't you tell him when it was that you first felt like a man?"
"Last year," Sam said automatically, "when I took charge of glee club with Blaine and led us to Nationals."
"Hear that boys?" Will said. "It was being a leader that made Sam a man, not how many girls he dated while here." Sam put up a hand holding five fingers. He thought about it, then raised his other hand and held up six. He thought again and put the sixth back down.
"You know what can keep you from being a real men?" Beiste went on. "Bad habits. Laziness, lying, cheating, recklessness... lack of focus... And disrespect towards women."
"We don't--" Ryder began, but Will put a hand out to keep him quiet.
"We know you guys didn't mean harm," he said. "But making things feminine sounds like you're making them lesser and that hurts the girls. It's why they handed out that list to begin with. Now, we're all guilty of this here. Myself included. Which is why Coach Beiste is running us through a few women empowerment exercises."
"I thought this was about becoming men," Dan pointed out, rubbing his sore calves.
"It is," Beiste assured them. "And the first step to that is learning how to treat a lady right."