Dr.Saaleh:
Today was the day our nikkah was fixed.
I was feeling a myriad of emotions swirling inside me, hesitation , anxiousness , nausea, confusion, happiness. I didn't know exactly what should I feel. Like what should a person feel when he is getting married in his life for the second time?
The thought of maryum again saddened me. I felt as if I was betraying her, my ex wife. Ex wife. This word seemed disturbing to my soul and mind. I was not ready accept uptil today that she had left me alone . She left and went with maryum. Even maryum didn't care about her dd. Like the way she used to call me dd. I miss hearing the two short lettered term, dd. My girl. My princess.
The sherwani which I was supposed to wear was lying neatly on the bed, ready to be worn but I was not in the mood to touch it even. And then I thought of her. Durre shehwar. What's her sin that she is getting married to me? Will I be able to love and cherish her as she is supposed to be? Doesn't she deserve someone who will be more appropiate for her?
Now I felt that age was NOT just a number. Numbers mattered. Age mattered. She was almost half my age, so young to me. How will I be able to deal according to her level, I am sure she won't have crossed the maturity level in her life... She is the new blooming flower and I felt like I was the one going to crush it.
Mehmood came inside my room without knocking and that didn't matter to me, he was excited and joyous to even notice my sadness. Maybe. He felt as if he was free of every thoughts and wedding jitters. He seemed carefree.
" Arre Bhai sahab. Dulhe bhai. (Groom brother) you haven't worn your sherwani yet? It's almost the time to go for nikkah. Aren't you happy? "
He came and stood right in front of me, I couldn't lurk my eyes here or there and so I gave a morose expression to him.
' I will get ready give me some time. '
I was bad at lying, so I just decided to tell the truth. I needed time. I could take more time rather than destroying someone's life. I couldnt do that.
" How much time will you take Dulhe miyan? Everyone must be waiting for us. It's not right to make anyone wait you know.. "
He was clearly happy Ma sha Allah but my happiness seemed less true to be real.
Sighing frustratedly, I grabbed the hanger from the bed and literally pushed Mehmood out of the room. I stood in front of the mirror, after putting my arms through the sherwani sleeves, I adjusted the collar and started buttoning. The blue colour contrasted against my fair complexion and the kurta fitted me at right places perfectly.
Mehmood barged in again.
" Thank God you are ready. I was not in mood to see a greek model statue naked. "
He chuckled and I found smile slowly creeping up my jaws. He knew exactly how to lighten my mood. I was thankful for having a brother like him.
Ma'arij:
Every nook and corner of the household was bustling with energetic people running from here and there, trying to get a hold of life. Life was very busy for us.
Ammi was after the catering services and abbu was busy recieving the guests and guiding them inside the guest room. Rukhsati was decided to be from our house.
Beautiful intricate patterns of floral designs adorned my hands and feet of henna and its aroma was soothing my mind and soul but the body had to endure pain in the process of drying the mehendi. I loved the odor of mehendi. I had got hidden initial of Mehmood's name written on my palms disguised in a cute floral pattern, and this was again a tradition for brides and groom to play hide and seek of the husband's name.
My lehenga was ready to wear but I was still in my pjs and was not in the mood to leave the comfort of wearing soft clothes, and instead changing into heavy bridal wear.
I was getting goosebumps thinking of how my life was going to change in just a matter of few hours, just a few affirmation words of nikkah and I would be confirmed his. Seeing the dress on the bed I was getting all the strange vibes, how I will be looking in it, how will I be looking in Mehmood's sight, Uff Allah.
Oh Allah, calm the butterflies in my heart!
Dont let them do a crazy dance,
Let me breathe properly, and pls let me not be nervous in front of him.
I did a silent prayer and tried breathing deeply,may be the wedding jitters.
Still I held a grudge against Khadijah and so I had not called her to my wedding, afterall we were not that close to each other. But somewhere in my heart, I got a slightest intution that she was innocent. I yanked that idea as it was silly, it was very clear that khadijah was the girl who tried to plant seeds of hatred and jealousy in my heart.
Mehmood was pure, like he said I was his taahira he was a muttaqi for me. The one who feared God. But ... I dont know why I felt that the pictures were not fake. They seemed real. But then I thought why would Mehmood hide anything from me?
Hunain:
Everything was going smoothly, except the fact that one heavy birden was placed on my heart after the yesterday's meeting with Mehmood. He had asked to bring Ma'arij with me as well bit I thought of hiding this from her. Infact I had kept this hidden from our parents as well. Ma'arij didnt deserve to know this. I couldnt destroy her happiness in just a millisecond. I cannot destroy the companionship and friendship of her and Durreshehwar. I couldnt .
Yesterday when I met him, he had wariness surrounding his eyes and his face seemed dull. He had a heavy voice when he started confessing a bitter truth which he did not wanted to hide from Ma'arij...but I had to.
He told me how he was before few years ago and how he had changed himself after that horrendous act of the past. He told me about Jaweria, who was interested in him and had wooed him to date her .
He told me how Jaweria had asked to run away from his marriage so that she could marry him,and about his decision to confront me and confess everything of his past to me. He thought,confiding in me and telling to Ma'arij would make things better but this had created a havoc in my mind. I had decided to hide this from Ma'arij as she wont be able to bear the betrayal from her best friend. I couldnt tell this to Dr.Saaleh even, because I did not wanted to burn down their home before even it is built.
Durreshehwar was involved with Mehmood 3 years ago in a long distance relationship. He had shared an intimate relation with her till the extent of seeing her in the way no namehram is supposed to see a woman except her husband. They had shared a past together. But when he came to Pakistan on her insistence and was about to get committed to her,they had shared physical intimacy which resulted in her being pregnant. When they knew of this situation, she asked him to marry her but he refused as he got interested in Jaweria and was bored of her. When he refused to marry and she got to knew of his fraud and betrayal to her heart, she planned a failed suicide which caused her loss of the baby. She got traumatised and then when she slowly began recovering , it was because of Ma'arij who came in her life as a friend. Ma'arij used to bring her at home sometimes so I knew about her condition by Ma'arij only. Though I wasnt interested to know but I had to listen to her bickerings.
Ma'arij wasnt supposed to know all this, because she knew of Durreshehwar's condition but did not know about the person behind it. She didnt know that Mehmood was involved in all this. I cannot think or imagine of the consequences.
What will happen if Saaleh came to know of all this, he wont marry her... it'd be difficult for him to marry her.
Atleast I wont marry such a girl ever. This all was so hard for me to digest. But only Allah knew that what was stored in fate for me.
I just hoped Diljah is a chaste woman, I just pray that Allah makes it easy for me to approach her so that shaitan does not dare to catch me in his vicious trap. I will ask about Diljah to Ma'arij once she gets happily married. And I promise to preserve this secret in my heart until I'm alive.
Mehmood:
The most anticipated moment of my life had arrived,my princess ... my taahira , was going to be mine forever... Just a few more minutes. I was moving my thumb in rotatory motion in nervousness.
Why did it take so long to just get married?
Ma'arij's father had gone alongwith her brother to ask her consent, and I was waiting here for my fate to change. I didnt expect that from Hunain at all that he'd act like a calm man and take all what I told him lightly, he hadnt brought Ma'arij with him the past day. Although I insisted him to tell about my past to her ,but he refused and warned me to keep away the secret from her. I did not know why. But I felt uneasy, so I had decided to tell everything to Ma'arij myself tonight.
I hope she will accept me and love me the way she would do before knowing this . I know I would not be the best man for her but I had promised myself that I wont repeat my past mistakes ever and would try to rectify it,in any way possible. I had hidden this secret for so long in my heart that now it seemed suffocating to hold it anymore further. I will tell everything to Ma'arij but I was not sure of letting this out to Saaleh. I just couldnt. I couldnt loose a brother. I couldnt loose a friend.
A/N:
Dont forget to vote and comment!
Silent readers plsss atleast put a vote to appreciate my efforts.
Trust me its not easy giving an update is the most horrifying thing for me.
And yes I have my proff exams coming soon, pray for me!