Pleased... To Please The Lord

Chapter 21

Dr.Saaleh:

Today was the day our nikkah was fixed.

I was feeling a myriad of emotions swirling inside me, hesitation , anxiousness , nausea, confusion, happiness. I didn't know exactly what should I feel. Like what should a person feel when he is getting married in his life for the second time?

The thought of maryum again saddened me. I felt as if I was betraying her, my ex wife. Ex wife. This word seemed disturbing to my soul and mind. I was not ready accept uptil today that she had left me alone . She left and went with maryum. Even maryum didn't care about her dd. Like the way she used to call me dd. I miss hearing the two short lettered term, dd. My girl. My princess.

The sherwani which I was supposed to wear was lying neatly on the bed, ready to be worn but I was not in the mood to touch it even. And then I thought of her. Durre shehwar. What's her sin that she is getting married to me? Will I be able to love and cherish her as she is supposed to be? Doesn't she deserve someone who will be more appropiate for her?

Now I felt that age was NOT just a number. Numbers mattered. Age mattered. She was almost half my age, so young to me. How will I be able to deal according to her level, I am sure she won't have crossed the maturity level in her life... She is the new blooming flower and I felt like I was the one going to crush it.

Mehmood came inside my room without knocking and that didn't matter to me, he was excited and joyous to even notice my sadness. Maybe. He felt as if he was free of every thoughts and wedding jitters. He seemed carefree.

" Arre Bhai sahab. Dulhe bhai. (Groom brother) you haven't worn your sherwani yet? It's almost the time to go for nikkah. Aren't you happy? "

He came and stood right in front of me, I couldn't lurk my eyes here or there and so I gave a morose expression to him.

' I will get ready give me some time. '

I was bad at lying, so I just decided to tell the truth. I needed time. I could take more time rather than destroying someone's life. I couldnt do that.

" How much time will you take Dulhe miyan? Everyone must be waiting for us. It's not right to make anyone wait you know.. "

He was clearly happy Ma sha Allah but my happiness seemed less true to be real.

Sighing frustratedly, I grabbed the hanger from the bed and literally pushed Mehmood out of the room. I stood in front of the mirror, after putting my arms through the sherwani sleeves, I adjusted the collar and started buttoning. The blue colour contrasted against my fair complexion and the kurta fitted me at right places perfectly.

Mehmood barged in again.

" Thank God you are ready. I was not in mood to see a greek model statue naked. "

He chuckled and I found smile slowly creeping up my jaws. He knew exactly how to lighten my mood. I was thankful for having a brother like him.

Ma'arij:

Every nook and corner of the household was bustling with energetic people running from here and there, trying to get a hold of life. Life was very busy for us.

Ammi was after the catering services and abbu was busy recieving the guests and guiding them inside the guest room. Rukhsati was decided to be from our house.

Beautiful intricate patterns of floral designs adorned my hands and feet of henna and its aroma was soothing my mind and soul but the body had to endure pain in the process of drying the mehendi. I loved the odor of mehendi. I had got hidden initial of Mehmood's name written on my palms disguised in a cute floral pattern, and this was again a tradition for brides and groom to play hide and seek of the husband's name.