**I'm honestly so sorry for taking so long! I've been really busy with my study and life and everything. I've been struggling a lot with a whole heap of things... so thank you all so so much for hanging around and being so supportive <3.
I originally had this planned to be updated for Christmas/New Years like year (geez) and well yeah that didn't happen by a long shot because I added some extra chapters in and honestly I just haven't been feeling too well.
Thank for all so much for your support and for sticking with me and this story. I hope you enjoy!
mERrY chRIstMaS iN *insert current month* I guess...
ALSO I broke this chapter up into two parts cause I ran into some writers block on a part later on and still need to work on it a bit more but I didn't want you guys waiting any longer so I really hope you enjoy this slightly shorter chapter.. love you all!!**
Tony was left sitting, alone, staring at the empty room and gaping door. Why was Loki doing this to him? It crazy, nonsensical and utterly torturous. What'd he mean he'd never loved someone as much as he loved Tony? If Loki loved him then why the hell did he keep leaving him hanging? Maybe he should talk to Thor about it. Would that be too awkward? Was Loki just really insecure? He sure didn't act too shy about anything else though. Maybe this was his first real relationship? Surely not. Right? Shit maybe he should have been more careful when handling Loki. Tony groans, rubbing his face in his hand. He definitely should've taken an overall gentler approach to all of this. Flirting like that with someone like Loki was a shitty move. Maybe he should ask him out properly, formally. Or would that be too much commitment??
Contradicting thoughts fired themselves across Tony's mind, clashing loudly into each other.
He decided to have a shower before chasing after Loki. Just to give him some time and all. And to avoid all his own responsibilities of course. Give himself a moment to clear his head as well. He took his time moping around and getting dressed before running out of things to procrastinate with.
Tony wondered the empty tower pointlessly until he found himself walking into the main lounge room. Loki was draped over an armchair, staring out into space. It was snowing outside, the sky was light and smoggy.
Loki didn't budge at Tony's obvious presence. "I think a minute has most definitely passed."
"I'd say so." Loki stated flatly with sarcastic bob of his eyebrows.
"You okay?" Tony approached him slowly.
"Yep." Loki spoke sharply and most definitely not convincing. They fell back into that treacherous silence between them. Tony studied the gentle way Loki's hair fell around his shoulders, pitch black curls a strong contrast to his fair skin. Loki shifted his far way gaze to focus sharply on Tony. His stomach twists under the forest green stare, a strong emotion compressing in his chest. Almost squeezing the words out of him.
"You're really beautiful, you know." Tony blurts out breathlessly.
Loki visibly paused for a minute, giving Tony a glancing expression close to surprise, "Opinions." Loki quickly pointed out, dismissing Tony's compliment.
"No really, you are. Absolutely stunning and you're also insanely adorable and funny and smart in a way, that god, I could never be and I just think you're perfect Loki you're so perfect and I-" Tony cleared his throat, his voice quite and rushed "I uh I think I love you- am in love with you."
Loki replied with such a fiery snippet of bitterness that it seemed to surprise even himself,"Why the fuck would you do that to yourself?" He asked in disgust.
"What?" Tony flinched on reflex.
Loki's confident body language collapsed instantaneously as he closed in again. He physically curls into himself, tucking his legs to his chest and looking vulnerably small. His voice turned soft, "sorry, I just meant why on earth would you.. uh feel that way about me?"
"I just said.. shit Loki, you're- you're brilliant. I love you cause you have the most endearing personality of anyone I've ever met and you're witty and honest and sarcastic and you're playful and confident and kinda snarky and mean but I love that about you too. I love that you wear odd socks and little braids in your hair and that you step on dry leaves and kick pebbles and fall asleep on my shoulder and roll your eyes at me and smirk when I do something dumb I just everything, everything about you Loki, I love it all and I'm sorry if I was an asshole about it and I'm sorry I kissed you when I shouldn't of and I'm sorry I don't know how to express things better and oh my gosh I'm so sorry for ranting your ears off just now. But please, if you'd just give me an actual chance.."
Loki stared at him sickeningly silent, blank of emotion. A wall of ice would be easier to get a grip on than his emotion at the moment. "I... I.. wait,, you?.." he trails off in a stunned tone. His eyes turn murky and watery with glassy tears. He was persistently avoiding Tony's eye contact like the plague. "Um that's I uh.." he's blushing now, a delicate pink flushing across his cheeks. He blinks, eyelids moving in small flutters. "Well I forgive you and I um I suppose I just never thought... anyone would genuinely like me like that and you with your.. reputation, I suppose... I just assumed, convinced myself that.. you know." By now, little tears had rolled themselves watery lines down Loki's cheeks. Tony didn't want to think of why Loki could possibly be able to cry so silently.
It hurt deep in his chest to see Loki upset, without a second thought he was sitting beside him and hugging him tightly.
"Please don't cry, I really don't know how to handle that plus you're gonna get my shirt wet."
Loki half sobbed, half laughed and buried his face against Tony's shoulder.
"No? Okay, looks like the shirts a lost cause then."
Loki didn't reply but Tony was certain he could feel him smile. Tony moved from rubbing circles against Loki's back to carefully playing with the soft strands of void-like black hair hanging around his shoulders.
"I uh I wanna be with you long term Loki. I'm sorry you thought otherwise." Tony spoke softly in their close proximity, "If you'll let me that is. If you'll stop pushing me away and if you stop giving me opportunities to keep fucking this up." Tony smiles softly, "Cause I really value uh being with you and I well, I don't want to give that up for the world."
"I might just consider that if you stop being such a pushy, obnoxious fuckboy." Loki mutters, half bitterly.
Tony can't help but to give a short laugh, "Honestly, I think that's actually ingrained in my personality."
Loki pulled away and tries to glare at him. His eyes were glassy and red from crying. Tony's heart seized up at the sight, completely captured the man in front of him.
"I'll try though. Just for you princess," Tony promises as sincerely as he can manage. Still, he easily shifted into a playful mood, "I don't know who I'll be without those traits though, that's pretty much my whole personality out the window."
"Maybe you'll actually be a half decent human being?" Loki awed sarcastically.
"You never know," Tony smiled. "So?" He asks, bringing his hand up to rest gently against Loki's cheek. "I'll stop being an obnoxious fuckboy and you can call the shots from now on, yeah?"
"Yeah." Loki breaths quietly, leaning ever so slightly into Tony's hand and studying his face intensely. Tony watches Loki's eyes flicker down briefly.
"Can I kiss you?"
Loki lips tug up in the corners to form a soft smile, he answers Tony's question by leaning in and pressing their lips together. Tony didn't think it was humanly possible for a kiss to be so gentle, so careful and important and affectionate all at the same time. Tony's mind completely fizzed out, every brain cell focused intently on the slow movement of Loki's lips and the pair of hands rested on his waist. He brought his free hand to Loki's shoulder, twisting both his hands behind Loki's neck. His skin was smooth and chilled, just as beautiful and soft as it looked.
Loki pulled back - way too soon in Tony's opinion - he was still so close Tony swore he could still feel Loki's lips against his own. Pressing one final, precious kiss to Tony's lips, Loki pulls back fully. The softest smile was gracing his lips, the gentlest look in his shining green eyes. Tony had to look away for a moment. To catch his breath. To stop himself from being so emotional by the way Loki was looking at him.
Tony's eyes momentarily flick to look out the window beyond Loki's shoulder. He gazed at the peacefully frosty city and twinkle of lights. It was snowing. Shit, it's snowing. What does that mean? Snooowww... "Wait what day is it?"
"Don't you dare change the topic on me here Stark." Loki warns darkly. "Not after all of tha-"
"It's Tuesday, the 23rd of December sir," Jarvis answers, as prompt as ever.
"Tony." Loki warns again.
"Aw shit." Tony curses.
This snapped Loki out of his sulk as he locked eyes with Tony "What's wrong?"
Tony fidgets restlessly, mumbling to himself "Haven't even put a Christmas tree up or anything.."
"A what? I'm sorry, a tree?" Loki looked extremely baffled. "It this really a great time to start talking about trees?"
Tony come up from his thoughts for a moment to answer "Yeah, yeah a Christmas tree." Tony explained as if that answered everything.
Loki pauses for a minute to watch Tony pace "I'm sorry but I have absolutely no clue what that is."
"Every year, on the uhm 25th? I think? of December people celebrate Christmas where you uh exchange gifts and decorate a tree and eat a tonne of food and shit like that."
Loki nodded slowly "Right, okay and? Is this just to distract me from everything you just said before cause you're definitely not getting away with that."
"And it's kinda a big deal well I dunno it would feel weird not doing anything for it I don't usually do anything special but I do like the minimum oh and i dunno it's also in like two days and I haven't done anything yet."
"Okay um can I help with anything? I am still not entirely certain as to such customs but of course I'd be obliged to assist with whatever it is that you need to do." Loki offered uncertainly.
"You know that really explains where everybody is." Tony commented randomly. "I'm gonna host a Christmas dinner, just for us and whoever else is left, how about that? Not really in the mood for a Christmas party."
"Uh okay? That sounds good." Loki creased his brow, food sounds good, everything else not so much "I think."
"I'll make some calls." Tony stated, flipping out his phone and dialing a number as he moved away.
"Hiya yeah look I forgot about Christmas again... yeah I know... of course not! ... so do you think you could arrange everything again, like last year?... that's amazing bless you..." He turned to face Loki "oh? for New Years?... yeah I didn't think I was invited to that... definitely... awesome okay have a good holidays bye." Tony hangs up yet keeps talking. "Alright, let me think... I'm pretty sure Clint went to see his family and who the hell knows what everyone else does with their lives so Nat, Bruce, Thor. I think Steve said something about going to Wakanda, apparently they're unfreezing his boyfriend for him and Wanda's still off with Vision where ever the hell they went. Rodes is seeing family but I'm sure Peter and May will be happy to come." He trailed off, flipping through his phone.
Tony suddenly seemed to remember something and smiled at Loki sweetly and started speaking dramatically. "Also heyy Loki, my love, my life um so yeah I'm taking you to Paris after."
"Paris?" Loki repeated dumbly.
"Yep."
"Why?"
"Some boring gala, need a hot date to keep up my reputation."
Loki narrowed his eyes suspiciously "Uh huh sure. Just you and me?"
"Sure thing, just you and me baby." Tony winked. "Well there's also a big New Years party on which would be completely crazy if I missed because you know I'm Tony Stark and all."
"You know what I've changed my mind, no."
Tony gave him a soft look that made Loki's chest ache, geez he was cute when he wanted to be. "Hey come on Lokes, it'll be fun. Is really love to have you there. Also we can have some time alone to work out whatever's going on here, yeah? It'll give us more time to talk about this."
"I'll think about it." Loki simply couldn't outright say no to Tony's longing plead.
Tony broke out into a heart melting smile, his eyes dancing with excitement. "You know what? I'm going to take that as a yes." He exclaimed.
Tony's radiating happiness forced a smile onto Loki "Sure." He stated, his sarcastic teasing growing weak due to the genuine grin he was sporting.
****
Less than 24 hours later the main communal living area was already festively decorated, with tinsel and coloured lights featured around the room. And just as Tony had mentioned earlier, there was in fact a tree, similarly decorated and positioned near the fireplace. None of this made sense to Loki yet nobody made a move to explain it to him so he decided to just roll with it.
"Mr Stark!" A highly excited voice, unmistakably belonging to Peter, drew Loki to the entry of the elevator area where he found said suspected child and who he assumed to be Peters aunt just arriving. Peter was hugging Tony, a little too tightly from the look on Tony's face although he was still grinning and hugging the kid back in his adorably awkward Tony way of showing affection. Peter let him go and spotted Loki lingering beyond.
"Oh hey Mr Loki. Merry Christmas!!" Peter greeted, lunging in for a hug. Loki gave a startled breath at the sudden impact of Peter wrapping himself around his waist and carefully hugged the boy back. He made eye contact with Tony, a confused and silent plea for help, Tony's playful laughter was the only thing he got in response.
"Alright kid, you can let him go now." Tony announced once he'd finished laughing.
Peter detached himself from Loki apologetically, "Oh right sorry about that."
Loki stared at him, uncertain emotions. "No that's fine. Merry Christmas to you too."
May watches with a smile, "Thanks so much for looking after him Tony."
"Nah that's fine, it's my pleasure honestly thanks for being able to come. Uhh Peters been just doing so well with his internship and he's just great company. Really great kid, love having him around." Tony ranted slightly, almost forgetting about the internship cover story.
"Well I ought to run but thanks for having Peter, I hate leaving him alone over the holidays."
"No problem, you sure you can't stay for Christmas dinner?"
Loki stood and watched the two of them carefully.
"Oh no I couldn't-" May started to decline politely.
"Just think about it, you're always welcome plus you get to meet some of the Avengers." Tony offered.
"Oh well I'll definitely try to be there. I love you Peter, have a fun time and I'll call you later." May fare welled with a little wave.
"Yep okay Aunt May. I love you too." Peter mumbled in embarrassment waiting for her to leave.
He instantly pipes up again. "Hey Mr Stark have you got any wrapping paper?" Peter asked.
"Should do, why don't you take Loki and check in the store rooms." Tony smirked.
Peter slung his backpack "Okay awesome. Lets go Mr Loki."
Loki shot him an annoyed look. Yeah thanks Tony.
****
Peter cheerily ranted and explained the concept of Christmas as he gathered a collection of wrapping paper rolls. Loki watched and listened quietly, picking up anything the boy on their way to the living room where he dropped himself onto the rug and let all his supplies roll onto the floor around him.
"...And I think it's really awesome that you're dating Mr Stark you seem really cool." He stated with a sudden change of topic, gliding some scissors across a roll of paper.
"I'm sorry?" Loki asked a bit too sharply, as Peter accidentally tore the last bit of paper he was cutting.
"Sorry I didn't mean to - I just think you two are really good together like I totally ship it." Peter continued, quiet with embarrassment. He tore off some sticky tape and cringed at how loud it was.
"Oh sorry yeah.." Loki softens his tone, trying not to snap something rude at Peter he quickly thinks of something nice to say "I'm really glad I somehow ended up on Earth else I never would have met him." Okay maybe that was a little too nice or possibly just a little too true.
Peter continued wrapping his box, "That's so cute, to tell you the truth I never thought Mr Stark was straight. He gives off hella queer vibes don't tell him I said that and I think him being.. uh I dunno actually, I don't want to assume anything but either way it's really amazing and I was kinda scared telling people that I'm bi but now it seems so much easier knowing that Mr Stark would totally support me you know?"
Loki was tempted to tell the kid that Rogers was also bisexual but figured that wasn't his business to tell. I'm sure Peter'll figure it out at some point. If he hadn't already. "Of course, I'm not certain how much it means to you but I support you too. Then again Asgardian society's a bit different, more accepting I'd say. You humans are so harsh about things that really shouldn't be that big of a deal."
"I know right? Sometimes humans really suck. Also thanks that does mean a lot to me. Now could you please pass me some ribbon?"
Loki almost laughed at how cute this kid was, "which colour?"
"Silver thanks." Loki selected a shiny silver ribbon from a box and passed it over. Peter took it and stuck his tongue out slightly as he was concentrating and looped the ribbon around the box.
"There. Now we put them under the tree." He stated, examining his gift wrapping proudly.
Loki looked at him oddly, "Why would you do that?"
Peter paused and shrugged "Honestly I have no clue, lots of these things are just like traditional you know? I think the most of the reasoning for it was lost on the way. I mean you could start questioning a lot of things, like why do we even have a tree in the first place? Why do we hang shiny spheres on it? What's with the stockings? You just learn not to question it."
"I think that strategy works with a lot of things you people do."
"Oh most definitely sir." Peter agreed, smiling to himself.
****
THIS CHAPTER IS TO BE CONTINUED...