(Jaxon)
The rain was falling heavily.
Large droplets splashing onto the earth and creating mud puddles everywhere, saturating the forest floor and turning the dirt slippery. The woodland was quiet, save for the sound of falling rain, and the distant chirps of birds sheltering from bullets of ice water.
My heart was beating in my chest, pounding against my rib cage so fiercely I was afraid it would jump out. I had never been so scared in my life, and as beta, I was to never show fear, never show weakness. And the falling rain did not help to squelch the panic that rode me as I ran through the trees, slipping on mud, jumping over fallen tree logs, and stopping every few moments to sniff at the air.
My fur was drenched, and I was cold to the point I could feel it in my bones. But I dared not stop.
Bentley.
His name was stuck in my throat, and I resisted the urge to scream his name as I ran deeper into the woods. The rain was drowning out his scent, making it even more difficult to track him. My pack had given up hours ago on finding him, even his parents had concluded that he'd probably gotten caught in the rain and stopped by an abandoned cave to wait it out.
But Bentley was stubborn. I knew where he went. And I knew he'd gone alone. I didn't know which was more frightening. The fact that he thought he needed to prove himself, or that he went alone.
I finally slowed down as I approached a large tree, and at the bottom of it was the strangest mixture. I frowned at it, until the scent wafted up to me through the rain with the wind that blew in that moment. My eyes widened, heart dropping into my stomach as tears welled in my eyes.
Gods, please no! Anything but that!
The mud at the base of the tree was thickly mixed with a reddish liquid. Blood. And I knew exactly whose blood it was.
Fear and horror gripped me tight, rooting my paws to the sludge pooling around my legs, a million different scenarios rushing through me. And even though I suspected what I'd find hiding on the other side of that tree, no amount of mental preparation could have prepared me for what I came face-to-face with when I finally managed to move my legs forward.
Sorrow gripped me tight, a scream ripping through me as my eyes examined the damage done. Without a care for the rain, I shifted back into my human form, tears mingling with the rain that fell on my face as I pathetically crawled toward the body of what was left of my best friend.
The one I loved.
Sob after sob tore free from my throat, pathetic whimpers of agony and profound heartbreak rattling my core as I gathered him in my arms, rocking back and forth. I screamed at the gods to give him back, to heal his wounds. But I never got an answer, no response, nothing. Just the dead silence of rain deafening me and stripping away a piece of my soul.
"Bentley..." I whimpered pathetically, pressing my lips into his drenched light brown hair, his beautiful blue eyes that was once alive with excitement, always looking at me like I was his whole world, now lay open staring aimlessly up at the skies. They would never blink again. They would never again gaze upon me lovingly, the way he always did whenever I held him in my arms, teased him, kissed him, made love to him.
"Don't leave me...please...come back..." But even as I sat there, cradling the corpse of my beloved, I knew he would never answer me. I knew he would never breathe again or hold me to him. His body was cold, stiff.
He was dead. He'd died out here alone.
My Bentley was gone. And with him, a piece of me.
"Bentley!" I screamed, jerking up in my bed, heart pounding out of control, sweat beads running down the side of my face. My chest heaved violently, and I jumped at the sound of a loud knocking on my bedroom door.
"Jaxon? Are you alright?" Hunter, my brother asked from the other side of the door. No, I wasn't alright. I would never be alright. What man is ever alright after cradling the body of his beloved for hours?
"Y-Yeah..." I stuttered, shuffling out from under the covers as I viciously wiped away the tears that stung my eyes and flowed down my cheeks. I expelled a deep breath, rubbing at my chest trying to soothe the heartbreak that never seemed to go away. Placing the bottoms of my feet to the cool hardwood floor, I glanced to my bedside clock to see that it was half six in the morning.
Running a hand through my hair, I shuffled into the bathroom and showered, using the warm water to soothe my muscles and calm me down from my nightmare. It was the same thing I'd dream over, and over again.
The rain, the mud, the blood, Bentley's scarred, beaten body, broken limps, his eyes lifeless. The pathetic screams that left me that day. After the incident, and after we buried the bodies of our fallen, including Bentley, Hunter had suggested I go to therapy to help me cope with all that I'd lost. Hunter had assumed that given my age, I'd need help coping with the deaths of our parents and of Bentley.
And while I grieved on occasion for my parents, it was Bentley whom I couldn't seem to get over. It'd been what, almost a year since the ambush, since our parents died, since Bentley...
The anniversary of his death was coming closer, and I still have no idea what I was going to do to cope with that day. It was why Hunter had suggested therapy. But there was no cure for what I'd been through.
No amount of therapy would ease the ache in my chest. It wouldn't bring Bentley back.
I dressed in a plain black long-sleeved V-neck t-shirt and black jeans before heading downstairs into the kitchen to grab my breakfast before I headed out. It was now after seven, and as I entered the kitchen, I stole any emotion from my face as I heard the familiar voices talking.
Voices of people I hated.
Bentley's family. I hated them all. His mother, father, dumbass twin brother, and whore fraternal twin sister. I wanted them all burned. And worse, I hated Hunter just as much.
Were it not for them, Bentley would still be alive. He'd be in my arms, safe, and alive. Were he here, he'd be kissing and hugging on me, telling me how much he adored and admired me, how much he loved me, and what he loved most about me. If he were here, he'd probably drag me into the dining room, and prattle on and on about nothing and everything as he ate a ridiculous amount of food for breakfast.
Then, he'd go off on a rant wondering why he never got fat given how much he ate. He'd start talking about what it'd be like to be fat, and he'd interrogate me about it, wondering if I would still love him as much if he ever gained weight.
I fought back the tears as I went over to the coffee maker and poured myself a cup, ignoring the people around me. Bentley was my everything. Even if he'd gained one hundred pounds, I would still love him.
"...Jaxon." I snapped back to reality at the sound of Hunter's voice grating on my nerves, and because I couldn't stand the sight of any of them right now, I glanced back at him over my shoulder, seeing him, but not really seeing him. "Don't forget, you're on border patrol later. Don't be late." he reprimanded, and I resisted the urge to scowl.
My life had taken a one-eighty turn after Bentley died, and I became...
This.
I hated what I had become. But at the same time, I relished it. It provided me with a coping method. Granted, it was not the best, and Hunter would be up my ass every so often about how I was ruining my life and my health by living this way. But screw Hunter. His mate was happy and live, healthy. The anniversary of my first mate's death would come and go, and while Hunter had his woman to keep his bed warm, mine would be left cold while I wallowed in self-hate, pity and grief.
I took a sip of my coffee after acknowledging that I'd heard my brother. He patted my shoulder before announcing that he'd drive JJ, our baby sister to school today and I couldn't thank him enough for that one small mercy. I didn't want her to see me like this, and while she was little, she was rather smart. She knew what had happened, and often when I was grumpy and growled and barked at everyone, only JJ could get close to me and would try to offer me comfort.
And still, she was a painful reminder of what I no longer had. Bentley had adored her, and she adored him.
The next person to call my name made me grit my teeth in an attempt not to lash out and bash the bitch's head in on the counter. It was Mandy, Bentley's sister, and the hate I had for her was legendary. With brown hair so light that it appeared blonde, she had delicate, feminine features, and was rather shapely with large breasts, a trim, slim waistline and round hips. She approached me with a bright smile- one that annoyed me to no end- dressed in a white top that showed off some of her cleavage and a blue ruffled skirt that fell to her thighs.
My gaze flitted over to her parents and I resisted the urge to kill them right then and there. Even after all this time, they still wanted me to mate with her. And there they stood, on the other side of the kitchen pretending to be unaware of what Mandy was doing as she pushed out her chest more and gave me a flirty smile.
Push them out all you like, girl. It won't change how I feel about Bentley and it won't reduce my urge to rip your throat out.
They put her up to this just like all the other times. They'd been trying to get us together even before I found out Bentley was my mate. But I had always shot her down, because even before the mate bond, Bentley and I had feelings for one another. His parents had never agreed with our relationship, but Bentley didn't care and neither did I. We loved each other and that was all that mattered.
But they never let up. Mandy was Bentley's fraternal twin. And many times, her parents had set her up and together, the three, no four- including her dumbass brother- would try to sabotage my relationship with Bentley.
They were just that desperate and petty.
They had always treated Bentley like crap while they idolized Mandy and Bennett. I had only tolerated them for his sake, but now that he wasn't here, they were nothing to me.
"What?" I growled. Mandy giggled, and I resisted the urge to slap her.
"You're always so grumpy." she joked, poking my stomach. My jaw clenched, and I tightened my grip on my coffee mug trying to push back the itch to rip her arm off. Who the fuck did she think she is to go around touching me so casually as if we were friends? The only one I ever allowed to be so cavalier with my body was Bentley. She tilted her head, clasping her hands together in manner that I assume was supposed to be cute. "Anyway, Hunter said you wouldn't mind giving me a lift to school. And, you look like you could use some company." she said, touching my arm.
Finishing off my coffee, I swatted her hand away none too gently and pinned her with a bored stare. "Are you fucking done?" She gave me a shocked look, almost as if she couldn't believe I spoke to her like that. It had caught the attention of her worthless parents too, and that was perfect. Because I wanted them to hear what I had to say next.
"First of all, I'm always grumpy because I no longer have the love of my life and I'm forced to look at your fucking faces everyday knowing that you were a major part of why Bentley went out there in the first place. Second, that's Alpha Hunter to you, wench. I will not have you come into my home, spit on the memory of my beloved and address my brother so casually. He's your superior. Third, I will not be giving you a lift anywhere today, tomorrow, or ever. If I do, your precious parents will be burying a second child sooner than they want to. And fourth, what the fuck made you think I'd ever want your company?"
By now, their jaws were hanging open in shock. Yeah, I may be beta and my pack may come first. But they're the one exception where I don't give two flying fucks. "Well, I'll be off. Got places to be, people to avoid."
I made my way to my car and then the one place I'd rather not be.
School.
It was essential, and I understood that. But I saw no point in attending. I only did so to keep Hunter from crawling up my ass about it. However, it did come with its perks, being new to the school and all, there was a fresh supply of distractions I could use to take my mind off Bentley, and the fact that my new mate, Asher Stone hated my guts.
And it was my fault. I had done nothing to invite his kindness, only his hatred, as I had planned. The very fact that we were mates put him in danger, and I wasn't about to live that nightmare twice in one lifetime.
But ignoring Asher was more difficult than I thought it'd be. The only two things he had in common with Bentley was that they were warrior wolves of the fourth-in-command station, and they were both subs. But Asher had a bad attitude. His mouth was foul, and he looked for every opportunity to start fights. So, imagine my non-existent surprise when I entered the wing of our school for our year group and found Asher on top of Brent Harper, hammering his face in.
The freshman kid who'd been in detention yesterday was off to the side, pleading with Asher to stop before they get in trouble. Sky and Dale were approaching, looking ready to pull the two apart as they elbowed their way through the crowd of students surrounding Asher and Brent.
I was always amazed by that. Asher was significantly shorter and smaller than Brent. Yet, he managed to royally kick the human's ass. Then again, that was probably it. Brent was human, and werewolves were a lot stronger than they were. Even our subs.
Sky managed to pull Asher off Brent, gripping his wrists tightly and pulling him back-first against his chest. Dale stepped between them, turning to stare at Brent who backed against the wall at the menacing glare on Dale's face that promised to deck him if he dared make another move.
"You're really looking to get killed, today, Harper!" Asher spat venomously. Brent growled lowly, then scoffed as he pinned Asher with a cold glare.
"Then get the little fag under control." Brent retorted, motioning his head to where said freshman stood. The kid glanced to the floor and kept his gaze there. "I already got rid of one fag. I don't need another one of you turning anymore of my friends."
I arched a brow as Asher's expression changed into a malevolent smirk. The stuff of nightmares. Brent stiffened as Asher relaxed in Sky's grip. "If you're referring to Jace, no one turned him. He found better friends and better people, and he kicked your ass in the social pyramid while doing it. And don't even go there, Harper. I could ruin your reputation with the shit I've got on you. Starting at freshman year." Asher challenged. Brent suddenly launched forward, and before I could stop myself, I had found myself between him and Asher, smashing my fist into Brent's face.
He dropped like a loaf of bread; lights out. Several students expressed their surprise and shock in a chorus of gasps, 'Oh's' and 'Whoa's'. Someone even went 'Oh shit!'
Gritting my teeth, I turned around to find the three of them staring at me. Dale's expression was blank, being the stoic motherfucker that he was, while Sky arched a brow probably questioning my intervention. While the source of my intervention in the first place was glaring holes through me, seething in Sky's hold and gritting his teeth.
"Sorry." I apologized lamely, keeping my eyes on Asher. "Are you alright?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest. Asher scoffed, shoving Sky back. Dale held an arm out thinking Asher was going to attack me, but the sub just turned and shoved his way through the crowd. I sighed in exhaustion, then arched a brow as Dale turned back to face me.
He seemed unsure of what to say. And just when I thought they were just going to stand there glaring and staring at me, Sky spoke up. "Uh...thanks for the assist." he said, and I rolled my eyes at that. Like a I stepped in to help them. "But stay the hell away from Asher."
I blinked. "Wow." I chuckled then, running my fingers through my hair watching the crowd disperse and we were now joined by Jace, who came up to Sky's side with a firm glare that was aimed at his mate for getting involved in a fight. Sky only shrugged.
"Whatever." I muttered, and then turned to leave, heading to my first class of the day which I had with Asher...and Mandy...
I was not looking forward to that. Asher, I could tolerate, never mind if all he did was curse me to hell and back whenever I got within three feet of him. I deserved every curse he spat because it was my fault in the first place that brought his hatred onto me. But, I would rather deal with Asher's hatred than Mandy's obstinate attempts at seducing me and trying to sway me to her favour.
Entering my English class, I decided I was in a particularly suicidal mood this morning and so I chose to sit in the seat right next to Asher. I didn't smile or say anything in greeting. But apparently, Asher couldn't stand to be within such close range of me because he scoffed, gathered his binder and pen, and moved to the seat furthest away from me.
There was no point in reacting to his pettiness because we were both petty in a way. Me, with my...whatever the hell it is I am, and Asher with his unflagging need to avoid me everywhere. Although, as Mandy walked into the classroom, and her eyes landed on me, a determined smile curling her lips, I really wished Asher had stayed at my side.
I didn't want to deal with her and her flirting, or her trying to grab at me. As Mandy came to the seat Asher had vacated, she greeted me. I didn't say anything, let alone steal a glance. She really couldn't take a hint.
"Okay," she started, turning to face me, and I arched a brow glancing to her out the corner of my eye, the urge to rip her obnoxious head off itching at the surface, "I'm willing to overlook your rudeness this morning, which was totally uncalled for, if you are."
Okay.
What the fuck?
Did she think we were some kind of couple? Because I'm pretty sure only couples spoke like that? And my rudeness was uncalled for? This bitch was the reason Bentley's trust in me had faltered once. In her unrelenting pursuit of me, she'd grabbed at the opportunity to stick her tongue down my throat. To fondle me every chance she got, some of which she'd done boldly in front of her brother.
Mandy flipped her hair over her shoulder in an exasperated manner, almost as if she were getting fed up of dealing with my behaviour. Well, if she was; then I have the perfect solution.
Leave me the fuck alone!
"Whatever." I muttered, hoping to the powers that be that the bitch would leave me alone and just stop talking in that irritating, whiny voice.
"Coolness. So, there's this coffee shop that just opened up. I heard from the locals that it's pretty good. Maybe we can go check it out after school today?"
Have I been too subtle?
Exhaustion sweeping through me at the bitch, I expelled a breath and glanced over to the corner of the classroom where Asher sat at the desk-chair near the window in the front row. As if sensing I'd been looking at him, he turned to glare at me over his shoulder before flipping me off.
"...Jaxon? Did you hear what I said?" I turned my attention back to Mandy who arched a brow, turning to glance in the direction I had been looking at. She scoffed. "Please don't tell me you're interested in him?" Her voice laced with venom for Asher that made a part of really want to bash her head in, Mandy leaned back in her seat, crossing one leg over the other in a 'dainty' manner, and crossed her arms over her chest. "He's so disrespectful for a sub."
Because of people like you.
Mandy turned to meet my gaze. "You can do so much better than that." I arched a brow.
"Oh? Who did you have in mind?" I played along, though I knew exactly what she'd probably say. She motioned to herself, twisting her features into an expression that illustrated just how conceited she was.
"Me, duh!" I rolled my eyes, thanking the gods for the teacher's impeccable timing. Mandy shut her mouth turning to face front as our English teacher walked into the classroom and started the class by taking attendance.
For the rest of the day, I managed to avoid Mandy and it was helpful that English was the only class we had together. I had left the school compound during lunch so as to not run into Mandy. Knowing her, she probably would've looked for me at school and try to force herself onto me. Maybe not in a sexual manner, but she wouldn't leave me alone.
**
The bell had gone ten minutes ago to signal the end of the school day and by now, most students had left. The hallways were empty now, with very few students wandering about, either staying back to hang with friends or because of afterschool commitments. Turning around a corner, I grimaced as I came face-to-face with Mandy.
Just my fucking luck.
She smiled up at me, placing her hands on her hips. "So, you never gave me an answer." She started.
What?
When I said nothing, she caught onto it that I had no fucking idea what nonsensical shit she was spewing. "About the coffee date today. Remember I told you about it this morning?" she reminded, tilting her head and smiling up at me in a fashion that was supposed to be cute.
Date?
When the fuck did I agree to be her boyfriend?
But my irritation quickly dissipated when I spied Asher at his locker over her shoulder. "Can't. I've got border patrol this afternoon." With that, I walked around her and headed straight for Asher. He knew I was standing behind him, but he paid me no mind as he rummaged around in his locker.
"Are you alright?" I asked, leaning against the wall opposite him. Asher turned to look at me, twisting his lips.
"What?"
"This morning. I asked if you were alright. You didn't respond." I stepped closer to him, making him back up a step. "So, I asked again." Asher scoffed.
"What's it to you? I told you, West. Don't pretend you care."
But I didn't have to pretend. I had a natural draw to him because of the mate bond, and while I tried not to, I did care that he got hurt. Whenever he gets hurt.
"I will if you stop acting like you care about my feelings." I retorted, and Asher turned to glare at me so hard I'm sure he was plotting all the creative ways of my demise. He curled his lips, backing up against the locker as if he couldn't think of anything worse than harbouring feelings for me.
"What the hell has gotten into your stupid brain?" he scoffed, shoving me back before slamming his locker door shut. "Just what the fuck made you think I care about your feelings?" I smirked at him.
"You can pretend all you want, Asher. But I see the regret in your eyes every time you curse at me, like just now. There's reservation in your eyes. The same way there's no reservation in my actions whenever you're in trouble or hurt."
Asher suddenly screamed, hitting his fist to my chest. "I fucking hate you, you piece of shit!" He tried to hit me again, but I moved out of the way, sighing in exhaustion. I gripped him by the elbow and dragged him to the nearest classroom which was unlocked. Guess the janitors haven't gotten this far in cleaning yet.
Slamming the door closed with my foot, Asher cursed me all the way demanding that I let go of him. And I did. Just none to kindly as I swung him around and his back came against the wall and he grunted from the impact. I winced at that. I hadn't meant to hurt him. I just forget my strength sometimes.
"Fuck you!" he spat, as I stepped closer to him, gripping his chin. It was not to cause him any pain, but just to keep him looking- or rather, glaring- at me. Asher stayed still, his hands splayed against the wall and he watched my every move.
"I'm getting really tired of your obscenity." I told him, chuckling lightly. Asher glared. He could glare at me all he wanted, but it wouldn't change a thing. I knew I deserved every foul curse that slipped past his lips, but I had to admit, hearing them so much in one day tended to get annoying.
I used to hate it when Bentley cursed, and when I told him about it, he tried not to use it as much. And I was fine with him using it as little as possible. If only Asher would tone down on the number of F-bombs he used toward me, there would be no issue.
"I fucking dare you, to fucking do some-fucking-thing about it." he challenged, defiantly, enunciating each expletive deliberately. The little shit!
I smirked, nonetheless. Leaning forward, I kissed him smack on the mouth.