Warning: cussing ahead.
As the chapter says, I lost in my competition.
Normally, this wouldn't affect me so bad. But then...
I've done it before. I've already won before.
I feel like a fucking disappointment. They were all looking up to me. Everyone. You probably do too. And when I lost, it felt like all those admirations became disappointment.
And I'm afraid of disappointing someone.
I feel like shit. I'm fucking disappointed in myself.
It's like everything I've tried hard to build had crumbled down.
That was Atalanta speaking. I'll explain. I have two other personlaities in which I name as Abby and Atalanta. Atalanta was the dark one. The one who lets go of her dark emotions. My dark side. The one that I usually shows everyone is my normal side. Abby's the hidden one. The one that hides everything. The cunning one. The observant one. The one that hides everything in laughter and smiles.
*hisses* Why did you tell them?!
...they deserve to know, Atalanta.
It's nothing, don't worry. It'll pass
Don't lie, Abby. Don't even try hiding. I'm you.
... *is silent*
I am the happy one. The curious side. The normally quiet side. The compassionate one. My name is Hailey. I feel the reality.
The reality of disappointmemt and pain.
The world is not black and white.
As you say so...
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
This is exactly what's going on in my mind. One counters, one tries to hide, and the other disappoints.
I'm sorry for the useless chapter.