S O L L A C E
"Who do you live for?"
I was absentmindedly staring at the wall clock when our social science teacher asked a riveting question that captures everyone's attention including mine.
Everyone has different responses. Some students answered, "family," while others playfully muttered bizarre answers such as, "money" or "food." After hearing the question, my eyelids no longer feel heavy. It makes me think as well.
Who do I live for?
"Why do we have to fight so hard in life? For what? For whom?"
The entire classroom was filled with chattering voices, everyone muttering their own opinions. Meanwhile, I may be the only one who does not have thoughts contained within my mind. Maybe it's because I'm drowsy or too weary to think, but I honestly can not think of anything.
"Yes, Ms. Garcia? You have anything to say?"
A girl with a silky long hair stood up, "It's such a simple question, Miss. For me, I live for my happiness. You don't have to think deeper, it's literally just right above the surface." she answered confidently. Our teacher nods and told her to sit down.
"Interesting answer, Ms. Garcia. I believe most of you think the same. We live in this world for our happiness and satisfaction. Though we can all collectively agree that living in this world is like hell, we still continue living in it. If a group of people were placed in a life-threatening situation, I bet most of them would prefer to do anything to avoid death, ironically, these people were the ones who told themselves they wanted to die on a daily basis." She pace back and forth, hands behind her.
Everybody fell silent for a moment.
A guy wearing thick glasses suddenly raised his hand, "I have a question miss."
"Go ahead."
"Is it possible to live without any reasons? I mean, for instance, my friend merely lives in this world for no deep reason or purpose."
She pause right in front of him, "I believe everyone has purpose in their lives. No one wants to live in this world just because they want to. That friend you're talking about may simply haven't find their reason yet."
Eyes looking straight ahead, I was lost in my thoughts with that response. Am I that person who hasn't find my reason to live?
It's obvious that I love my family and they're my happiness, but strangely, I feel like they aren't the primary reason for me to keep living. I'm not sure. I don't know why I am even trying so hard. I don't know what I want in life. My name's already drenched in wealth. Money doesn't excite me that much. Even finding a romantic partner does not seem interesting either.
"If God is actually true, why did he put me in this world?" I blurted out of nowhere.
"Ha? Anong sinabe mo?"
Nakatitig lang ako sa rebulto ng Dyos, hindi nawawala sa isipan ang topic namin sa social science noong nakaraang araw.
It's Sunday today, bigla akong inaya ni Vivien na mag simba. Kahit wala akong gana, sinamahan ko na lamang siya dahil wala rin naman akong gagawin sa condo. Sa kasamaang palad, hindi kami nakaabot sa misa. Kaya ang ginawa namin ay umupo saglit sa loob at nag dasal.
"Sollace, may sinabe ka ba? Di ko narinig eh." Kanina pa nagdadasal itong katabi ko. Sa haba ng dasal niya, napapaisip ako kung iniisa-isa kaya niya ang problema sa mundo.
"Kung totoo ang Dyos, bakit niya ako inilagay sa mundo? Anong purpose ko? I meant no offense in my question." giit ko habang nakatitig sa rebulto na ngayo'y iniiyikan ng isang ginang na may karga-kargang bata.
Bumuntong-hininga ang katabi ko tsaka tumuwid sa pagkakaupo, "There's always a reason why each of us is here. It's up to us to find out. Sa'yo naman, sa tingin ko inilagay ka ng Dyos para siguro tumulong sa kapwa?"
"What do you mean? Wala akong plano maging social worker." I snorted.
"It doesn't have to be a social worker. Malay mo, you're meant to help a certain person or maybe to uncover a truth."
Right when she said that, umawang ng kunti ang bibig ko sa naalala.
S-si Grey.
Ngayon lang ulit siya sumagi sa isipan ko. For these past weeks, my mind is circling over school and my grandmother's diary. May pangako nga pala ako sa kanya.
Na tutulungan ko siyang mahanap ang rason ng pagkamatay niya at ng magulang niya. The scene where he confessed to me he's actually a ghost feels like it's part of my fever dream. Totoo nga pala 'yun. He also mentioned about the existence of angels and heaven.
"Oh, natulala ka na naman? May nakikita ka bang hindi nakikita ko?" natatawang tanong ni Vivien, kinakaway pa ang kamay sa mukha ko.
Grey and his family was murdered right? He said they were murdered at the paradise.
And recently, I discovered something puzzling in my grandmother's diary. It's about those people who went missing in Green Will.
Is it possible that intriguing case had something to do with Grey and his parents' deaths?
Is my grandma's diary the key to uncover the truth?
"Vivien."
"Ano?"
Nanatili ang tingin ko sa rebulto ng Dyos, tumindig ang balahibo ko sa mga napagtanto.
"I think I just found out my purpose."
* * * * *
"Remember that mysterious disappearance case I told you the other day?" tanong ko sa kanya. She didn't appear disturb when I shared that information with her the first time.
"Of course I do. Bakit?" sumipsip siya ng juice na inorder niya.
We're in a small restaurant near the church, since it's Sunday, this place is very crowded.
Sasabihin ko na sana kay Vivien ang tungkol kay Grey ngunit nag-alinlangan ulit ako. Natatakot ako na baka iisipin niyang nababaliw ako o di kaya'y parte lang ng makulit kong imahenasyon si Grey.
"Come on girl, spill out whatever's in your mind." aniya.
I leaned closer to the table between us, "Promise me you will believe everything I'll say."
"Oo noh! Kahit anong sasabihin mo, paniniwalaan ko. Pwera lang kung i-reveal mo na may jowa ka, sorry pero impossibleng paniwalaan."
I tried explaining it to her about Grey without making it sound like I was losing my mind. Starting from the moment I met Grey until the time when he made a shocking revelation, confessing he's a trapped soul, asking me to help him uncover the truth behind him and his parents' death in to escape this world and reincarnate.
"I had a huge feeling that their death is link to the mysterious disappearance." I also added. I'm hoping she won't laugh at me.
Instead, she automatically believes me. "So this Grey guy, is he a good ghost?" seryosong tanong niya.
"Y-yeah, oo naman. Otherwise, I wouldn't go back to the forest to meet him." giit ko.
Tumango-tango siya, hindi nakaligtas sa paningin ko ang pasimpleng ngiti niya. Ewan ko kung anong ibig sabihin ng makahulugang ngiti na 'yun. "D-do you actually believe me?"
"Sollace girly, you're probably the least person I would suspect if somebody murders someone. I know you won't make up some stories like that, especially a story that involves a ghost. Hindi ka nga naniniwala sa mga paranormal or supernatural things, right? There's no reason for you to lie."
"I didn't say hindi talaga ako naniniwala. Kunting doubts lang ganun." depensa ko sa sarili. Grey is a trapped soul or a ghost. If he exists, then those entities presumably exist as well.
Napapaisip ako kung paano naniwala kaagad si Vivien sakin ngunit mabuti nalang merong isang naniwala. She could also help me with this case.
"So, what's your plan? Paano mo matutulungan si Grey?"
Napatingin ako sa labas kung saan madaming mga tao na kanya-kanyang lakad patungo sa sari-sariling destinasyon. "I honestly don't know. Siguro babasahin lahat ng pahina sa diary ni lola." hindi sigurado kong sagot.
"But what if you guys will run out of time?" tanong niya pa.
"What do you mean by that?" It's my turn to sip on my lemonade.
"Like you know, sakaling may time limit si Grey sa mundong 'to? What if he will disappear?"
Time limit? Is there something like that? "Kung meron mang ganyan, hindi ko maipapangako na tagumpay ko siyang matutulungan. If we fail, wala akong magagawa." I stated and continue to look outside.
"Ha?! Anong wala kang magagawa?! You should try your best!" nagulat ako nang mahinang hinampas niya ang lamesa.
Napatingin tuloy ang dalawang matanda sa likuran namin. Nag sorry si Vivien sa kanila at tumingin ulit sakin. "I mean, kawawa naman yung si Grey diba?" naging kalmado muli ang kanyang boses.
"Sollace, you are his only hope. Hindi ba't mag kaibigan kayo?"
Dahil sa tanong na 'yun, napaisip ako ng malalim.
* * * * *
M A R C O
Pasimple akong sumusulyap kay Sollace kasama ang kaibigan niya. Nasa isang restaurant kami. Kanina ko pa sila sinusundan, magmula nung nagtungo sila sa simbahan. Ingat na ingat ako sa bawat kilos, tiyak na mas mapapalayo ang kalooban ni Sollace sakin 'pag nalaman niyang sinusundan ko siya.
Malapit lang ang table ko sa kanila. Dahil madaming tao, hindi ko masyadong naririnig ang pinag-uusapan nila. Ang tanging narinig ko ng maayos ay ang sinabe ni Sollace na diary ng lola niya. Her grandmother is the late senyora Emillia.
Hindi sila nagtagal sa loob at kaagad lumiban. I pull out my phone in my pocket and immediately called Tiffany. "Tiff, I have something to say."
"Hurry up, malapit na mag start ang photoshoot ko." Tsk, why is she always having a pictorial almost every week? 'Di naman siya model.
"Alright. Kanina narinig ko binanggit ni Sollace ang diary ng lola niya."
"WHAT?!" inilayo ko ang phone sa tenga.
"Calm down, why you so surprised—"
"Listen to me Marco," her voice sounds serious. "I need you to get that diary for me."
Kumunot ang noo ko, "What? I can't do that!" I protest.
"Yes, you can. That diary is very important to me, dear." she's emphasizing every word, sounding so desperate.
"What's so important about it?"
I heard her heaving a deep sigh, "I'll explain everything to you once you get it. For now, mag plano ka kung paano mo 'yun makukuha. Please Marco, please do it for me." For some reason, her begging voice makes my body feel like it's burning.
"O-okay. Fine."
"Thank you dear. I'll hang up now."
I was left with a racing heart, unsure how am I gonna do to steal that diary from Sollace.
* * * * *
T H I R D P E R S O N
Tiffany rushed straight to her grandmother's chamber after finishing her photoshoot to post on her social media. Isabella had her full attention on the book she was reading before the door swung open and revealed Tiffany carrying the news that would likely ruin her morning.
"Grandma, you won't believe this."
Isabella's gaze remained fixed on the pages, a sign that she should not waste time and convey the news while it's still fresh.
"Sollace found lola Emillia's diary."
Those words left the old woman's heart skipping a beat. That was the least thing she wanted to hear at this age. "What did you just say?" Her surprised, intense stare could split the entire room in half.
Tiffany nervously dragged herself onto the unoccupied chair and sat across from her grandmother. "Sollace found the diary you've been looking for." she repeated.
She witnessed how her grandmother's eyes slowly turns cold. For a moment, her face was unreadable. Her lips gradually widened until she broke out cackling.
"She did? That wimpy little kid did?!" The old lady couldn't believe her ears and continued to laugh as if it was the most absurd joke she'd ever heard.
"Oh, you are actually serious." her grin immediately drops. "How the hell did she found it?"
"I don't have any idea. But I ordered Marco to steal the diary and deliver it to me safely."
Isabella gently taps her fingertips on the wooden desk between them. "Are you sure that Marco guy can be trusted?"
"I have him on a leash." The other replied confidently. Knowing each other ever since they were kids will guarantee her that the guy won't even consider of betraying her. She knows what she's doing. Stepping on his ego would drive him to do whatever she wanted him to do, like a master commanding his pack of faithful dogs.
Isabella turns to face the massive portrait of her younger self. William used to be the owner of that room. Small changes have been noticed since she began residing at the ranch. The room gradually becomes hers, with William's family painting being replaced by her own portrait.
The young Isabella is filled with pride and grace. A woman who won't back down easily. A confident woman who's willing to attain whatever she feels like belong only to her.
Her wrinkled face has solely changed her demeanor, but not the determination she possessed. "Tell your little trooper to hurry up and give me Emillia's diary. Oh, I've been always wondering what that dewy-eyed woman wrote in that book. "
"Grandma, tell me why are you so obsessed of her diary? Don't you think whatever was written on those pages won't matter anymore since she's been dead a long time ago?"
Tiffany's question left the woman in front of her raising her brow, "Do you have any idea how dangerous that diary is?" Her gaze shifted to her before her head. There is something about the way her grandmother speaks and moves that renders a real fear within her. The same thing her father could do.
"That diary . . . " Isabella leans closer to her face, "Could doom us all."
She was left with a heavy breath, eyes flickering, and a heart pacing as quick as a stallion.
"W-what do you mean by that grandma?"
From the moment she regain consciousness, Tiffany has always been the apple of Isabella's eye as she shares similar traits as her. She wanted her granddaughter to grow up just like her. She's her only weapon. The weapon to her success. Emillia already demolished everything she has once. Now, she won't let the history repeat itself.
"Dear Tiffany, once I get my hands on that diary, I'll tell you everything you want to know, including the secrets your grandfather insisted on keeping hidden from you."
"And what is it?"
"The truth." the side of her lips curls upward.
"The truth lies beneath the soil of Green Will."
* * * * *
- To be continued -
I apologize if the abrupt changes in POV irritate you. It's unavoidable. POV will shift frequently in the next chapters. Thank you for reading!