As I woke up the morning light seeped through my thin curtains, the sun soaking my room. I was buried in my cocoon of pillows and blankets, the sun warming my body. I lifted my head slowly. How did I get here? I remember falling asleep on the couch with Dean. I pushed my body up, leaning on my elbows. I rubbed my head and my eyes began to open slowly. I looked at the alarm clock. 9:37 am. I was shocked at how late I had slept in. I was always up at 6:30 making breakfast for my boys but by the sounds of the commotion in the kitchen, it was being taken care of. I sunk back into bed momentarily when I heard my door creak open. I raised my head off the bed again to see Dean leaning in my door way.
"Mornin'." He said, a sweet grin on his face.
"Oh... hey." I said, my voice still raspy.
"How you feeling?"
"Like I got hit with a Mac Truck." I knew he was clearly amused by my pain letting out a chuckle.
"Yeah well with the amount of whiskey you had and the beating you took I'm not surprised." I furrowed my brow. "I brought you some pain killers for your head and some coffee. Bobby tried cooking so I wouldn't go down there just yet."
"Oh... thank you." I said quietly, hesitant to take them from him. His grin faded slightly. I walked over to him him pulling them from his hands with a smile. He held on to them not letting me leave.
"Em look-"
"Dean you don't have to say it. I get it. We drank, shit was said, its ok-"
"No I do because clearly you don't listen."
"What?" I thought I was getting the last night was fun speech.
"Emma I was sober....."
"Oh."
"And I mean I know you weren't.... I wanted to make sure you were't uncomfortable with anything." He was somehow closer to me. I hadn't felt him move but he now I could smell him. He must have been fresh from the shower minty breath but there was always a twinge of gunpowder that hung around him. I looked down, avoiding his eyes.
"I mean no. I meant what I said to you. I'm not regretting anything we did. But I'm not some hussy at a bar. I'm not here to be the thing that helps you move on and get left behind. If thats what that was then lets shake hands and agree to let last night be what it was and nothing more." His face had so many emotions rolling through I couldn't get a read. I was never unsure of myself. I always knew what I wanted but I felt so... nervous around him. It was so far from my comfort zone. Any guy I had been with was a stranger that I could charm. But Dean knew me better than anyone.
"So thats what you want? You want to part ways and pretend that this was nothing?"
"No but-" I started to say. His lips were on mine again. I had missed it.
"There's your answer Em. Whats yours." I felt a smile creep on my face as I gave him the same 'answer' he gave me. We hung there in the bliss of it all. For once something was making me happy. Some one was here for me. Finally.
"Is she up yet Dean?" Bobby called from the kitchen.
"Yes I am." I called back, Dean and I let out a giggle.
"Well hurry up and get your ass down here." He called.
"Shove it old man!" I laughed back. I gently kissed his cheek, feeling his beard that had begun to grow out, pulling what he brought me from his hands. I placed the pills on the night stand and threw my hair into a pony tail. Grabbing my coffee I turned to find Dean still standing in the door, smiling. Beaming really.
"What?" I laughed uncomfortably.
"I can't look?"
"No. You can't." I smiled as I tried to walk past him.
"Emma wait..." He trailed off. "Luke... he left this morning."
"What where?" I asked feeling the worry rising in me.
"He went to look at that case. Sam and I turned on his gps on his car and his phone. Sam is gonna head up to get him soon. I think it's best if he goes." I nodded. There was no way I was going. Dean could have gone. But him and Sam got along better than him and Dean did. I think it was a competitive thing. Dean and Luke were the same age and Sam was four months older than me. Sam and I were like best friends but Dean and Luke were always super protective of me. I never got why Dean was but I think I was starting to understand why.
"Good. Maybe Sam should just let him go." I said flatly
"Oh Em you don't mean that."
"Yes I do." I stared at him harshly. "We can keep tabs on him with the gps but I don't want him here. We've spent our whole lives together. We paid our dues and we said what ever goodbyes we needed to last night. Lucy or not that fight was bound to happen. He's gone. I'm good."
"No you aren't. I know you aren't. Cut that shit."
"Dean I was actually less pissed than usual this morning... do you wanna ruin that?" He sighed. He knew I was the most stubborn person he knew. That I would get my way and we would drop it or I'd drop him. I was a raw nerve and he wasn't looking to mess with me. I slid past him pulling my coffee to my lips as I stepped down the stairs. It wasn't hot anymore and the flavor was gone. I only drank coffee if it was fresh from the pot. No good otherwise. I glided into the kitchen adding new coffee to my cup breathing life and heat into it again.
"Hey princess."
"Hey dumbass."
"Classy. Wanna enlighten me on what ever happened with you and your brother?"
"No actually I don't."
"Well you're gonna." He gruffed as I kept my back to him.
"Nope."
"Em. Something happened he came flying out of here looking like he went five rounds with a brick wall and you slept in later than you ever has."
"Uncle Bobby leave it be."
"Emilia Rosemary Singer tell me whats happening or so help me I will beat it out of you."
"This is what happened." I barked spinning around, pointing to my jaw. "He threw Lucy and Mom in my face and knocked me around so I hit him back. He left to go on some suicide mission up north because god forbid anyone in this family handles their shit. So I'm gonna pour some whiskey in my coffee and go get some food that some old drunk didn't cremate!" Bobby stood there slightly in shock.
"Emma I'm sorry..."
"Don't be, just leave me be until you find me a damn hunt." I grumbled as I marched up stairs. I went into my closet and pulled my black jeans from the shelf. I grabbed my grey thin long sleeve top from its hanger and my black high heeled combat boots. I threw on some basic makeup to hide the zombie look and my now much darker bruises. I curled a few pieces of my hair that the curl had fallen from the day before and grabbed my cash from my stash.
"Where are you going?" I could hear Dean hanging in my doorway again. Was that his favorite spot? Why the hell didn't he come in ever. I mean we swapped spit last night and all but professed our deep connection to each other. Not to mention the shared the most private and painful events in our life.
"On a ride on my bike. I need to blow off some steam."
"No you're not." I raised an eyebrow at him.
"Excuse you?" He realized how it sounded and began to try and back peddle.
"You're coming with me. I need your help."
"Doubtful. I'd like some peace and my bike is the way I'm gonna get it."
"Would you just let someone else be in charge for a damn second? You are coming with me because I have a plan and you're gonna like it. Plus I can smell the whiskey on you. Theres no way I'm letting you drive."
"How the hell can you tell?" He smiled like I had offered him a challenge. He moved towards me and in one swoop he was backing me up against the wall next to the window frame. I put his hands on the wall on either side of me and leaned in with a devious smile. Crap. It was sexy as hell. I was supposed to be mad but how the hell could I focus on anything but not jumping his bones? I began to say something along the lines of back the hell up if you know whats good for you when his lips met mine.
"Yup. Whiskey." He smiled licking his lips as he pulled away eyes still shut.
"Doesn't mean jack."
"Emma... please. Get your sweet ass in the damn car." He was incredibly irritated with me after the night we had. He spoke through his teeth with a bit of a laugh clearly frustrated with how strong willed I am. I huffed grabbing my dark red leather jacket, swinging it over me with a twinge of pain as my shoulder rotated. I forgot I had stitches. I marched down stairs and all the way to the impala. He started her up and we drove off.
"Roll down your window." He ordered. I shot him a look but quickly did as he cranked his down.
"Grab me that tape with the blue nail polish on it." Why the hell did he have nail polish on a cassette? I handed it to him as the engine roared the music began to fade in harmony with it. It was my favorite song. I leaned my head back and took a deep breath of the fresh air. A smile flitted across my lips, content and feeling that peace I craved.
"I love this song." I said breathing in the clean air. Dean was smiling looking out over the dash at the open stretch of road ahead. As burnin for you faded out another song came on.
"What tape is this?" I asked. I was picky and only liked a handful of songs on each tape he had. Never two in a row.
"A new one. Ish." He said shrugging with a smirk.
"Lemme see the box." I said pulling the case into view. It was every single one of my favorite songs. I flipped it over and it had my name on it.
"What is this?"
"Well your birthday is soon and me and Sam had been working on a tape for your truck. Put all the ones we know you love on there. I figured today was as good a day as any."
"I love it." I smiled as I cranked up Fortunate Son and Dean revved the engine.
We drove for a little and I had accidentally fallen asleep.
"Emms get up we're here." My eyes opened slowly, still defiantly hung over from the night before.
"Where the hell are we?" I looked around. Then I realized where we were.
"Dean did you drive all the way to Butch's!?" I shouted.
"Sure did." He said with a grin spread wide across his face clearly please with himself.
"Dean thats a two hour drive. For sandwiches."
"Yeah..." He said slowly puzzled I'd even question it.
"Oh my god."
"What! You said it was the best hangover cure in the midwest and the best craft beer around."
"So you drove two hours on a whim because I got hammered last night."
"Yeah... come on!" He hopped out of the door so quick he almost fell over, scrambling to my side of the car.
"M'lady." He said in a silly voice as he opened my door.
"Don't start with that." I hadn't seen him let this loose in a long time. It was weird. He was....giddy.
We got a table in the corner and ordered our food. We sat for over an hour laughing and talking about nothing important. It felt really nice to not have to overthink everything. To have some time away from anything monster related. It was like we put it aside for a while.
"Heres your check Darlin'." The waitress passed Dean the bill. I slammed $15.00 on the table and Dean shot me a disapproving look.
"No this ones on me."
"No... this one is on..." I grabbed his card out of his hand. "Frehley Simmons.... Really dean? Kiss?"
"Don't you dare say another word Emms or I'm gonna leave you in Nebraska." His eyebrows practically hit his hair line. I raised up my hands as if to surrender.
"How about I leave the tip so this poor girl actually gets her tip?" We laughed loudly drawing attention of some of the other patrons.
"Fine. Lets get out of here what do you say?" Dean smiled like he knew something I didn't. He paid the bill and the waitress returned the slip for him to sign lingering before she waltzed away. It was odd. Dean paused for a moment eyes slightly bigger looking at the piece of paper.
"What too much? I've got cash lemme see." I said ripping it away from Dean as he protested.
"I'm off at 4 give me a call big boy." It said in the corner with a little lipstick mark. I quietly handed Dean the cash required and stood up pretending it wasn't a big deal. Like it wasn't as irritating as it was. But Dean and I had kissed. So what. Big deal. It was a liquor induced night and I wasn't going to hold him to anything. We had been avoiding any talk of it like we always did. I began to walk away when he grabbed my arm pulling me back around.
"Emma..." He called.
"Thanks for lunch Dean... but we should go. Bobby probably has a case ready-" Suddenly his lips were on mine. Pressed tightly, not moving, just there. I had that head rush again, I could feel my body leaning up into his, his hands holding my face as mine wrapped around his wrists. My mind was frozen. He pulled away and I had stayed there stunned. I opened my eyes to see him smiling, almost laughing.
"Come on babe." He said way too loud and wrapped his arm around my shoulder and leading me out. Oh god he must have known I was jealous. But he pulled off a pretty amazing exit, my face was slightly red and I was happy he made the effort.
"What is with you?" I laughed as we went back to the car and I pulled his arm off me.
"What?" He shot me a puzzled look. "I just... I want to do something other than hunting. Get your mind off of everything." I smiled.
"Well it worked."
"Hows your hangover?"
"Much better. Grease helps." I gave him a hug and walked to the passenger side of the car.
"You ready? We should probably head back." I asked, he was starring off, something weighing on his mind.
"What if we didn't? What if we took some time and went on a road trip."
"Dean we do that daily. To hunt. Same thing."
"I mean what if we took a trip that didn't involve decapitations or latin incantations?"
"Who are you and what have you done with Dean Winchester?" I joked hopping into the car.
"Em I think maybe we should take some time off." He said quietly, joining me in the impala.
"No you think I should take some time off. Dean I'm not some wounded animal."
"I know you aren't but come on. Its been rough going for a while, we deserve a break."
"Dean time off for us isn't like other people. I just want to hunt."
"Em I'm not trying to bench you. I'm trying to make sure you aren't doing exactly what Luke is doing..."
"I'm not talking about Luke okay Dean. I thought you understood that."
"I'm sorry but you need to hear the truth. You both are running. Stop running and take a moment to yourself."
"This was a moment Dean. We took it. We are spending half the day just to come to a diner."
"A good diner." He smirked. "Fine. We can head back to Bobby but... no cases. Just a relaxing day." I nodded as we both slid into the car, turning the engine and enjoying the music, road, and the little bit of peace we had left before we returned to the salvage yard.