Chapter 21
A New Start
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[[ JIYOO ]]
Every single day that we walk on earth, how many times do you think you've come across someone who's been abused?
Sometimes, it's the people who seem the happiest; sometimes, it's the people who seem the coolest; sometimes, it's the people who appear the bravest. Most of the time, we never really know who because victims have gotten so good at hiding the pain. Most of the time, the choice is ours to make. Do we speak up? Or do we let it slowly eat our whole lives?
If we speak up, will we get help? Will people genuinely care? Will the pain stop?
These are the questions that the victims often ask themselves. Sadly, there's no certainty that the answers will always be yes. Maybe, the word 'eventually' is a more suitable answer.
Eventually, there would be help. Eventually, there are people who would care. Eventually, the pain would stop. Eventually, you would see a glimpse of light in the darkness you never thought you'd see again. Eventually, you would start living your own life without being afraid. Eventually, you would be alrightㅡbecause you spoke up, because you cared, because you're strong and you believed that the pain and the monsters will not be there forever.
We are not only talking about physical abuse because sometimes you don't have to hit someone to harm them.
Emotional abuse is just as bad, less visible but it's there. Words are precious and powerful. Words are what we take to the heart. We should be careful on how we use themㅡbecause with words, we can either save or destroy anyone.
This work is a piece that I wrote with author Jo Hyun Joo. As someone who has gone through the same road, I can promise that there is a better world hidden in this one that we live in. It's up to ourselves to find it.
To the society, to the law, to every single person on earth, we have to stop blaming the victims for the abuse. We have to stop turning a blind eye on this matter. As Albert Einstein once said, "The world will not be destroyed by those who do evil, but by those who watch them without doing anything."
I smiled as the video ended. We were eating at Seunghee's restaurant when she played my video from the college's website. My professor asked me to film it a few days ago as a preview to my story.
Seunghyub, Mijin, Changgu, Hyunjoo, Yanan and Seunghee were in the restaurant with me and they were clapping their hands proudly.
"That was so good, Jiyoo!" Hyunjoo praised.
I smiled at her. "Thank you for helping me."
"It was a pleasure working with you."
"I want this played all over the world." Yanan said. Actually, we're gathered because Yanan is going back to China tomorrow. Hyunjoo was the one who invited me over. I brought Seunghyub and Mijin with me.
"You've worked hard, Son Jiyoo!" Seunghyub said, eyes shining as he looked at me proudly.
I grinned at him. "Are you crying?"
He quickly brought the back of his hand towards his eyes. "Of course, not!" He denied.
Everyone laughed and we continued eating through all the compliments that made me flustered. I almost choked when I caught Changgu staring at me intently across the table. I've been really doing my best to avoid him ever since that day.
Now, December is approaching.
Every single night, he still sent dinner to my door. We saw each other at the hearing of my father and he was sentenced to ten years in prison.
I focused on my midterms and now, they're almost over. The layers of clothes I wear have multiplied as the weather got colder. Sometimes, when I'm missing Yeo Changgu, I go to the places where I hoped I'd see him and I was happy enough to catch a glimpse of him.
But tonight, I don't think I could escape him.
"Guys! It's my birthday soon. I'm throwing a party at my place. I hope you guys can come! And anyone who's not busy can help me prepare." Mijin said friendly.
"Where do you live? I'm coming." Seunghee said.
Mijin told us more about herself. I excused myself to go to the washroom since I felt like my bladder would explode.
After I was done, I opened the door to come out but Changgu was there. I let out a gasped, jumping back a little in surprise. "Yah! You scared me!" I almost yelled.
His eyes widened. "Sorry!" He said but there was a ghost of a playful smirk on his lips.
I blinked, clearing my throat. "It's okay..."
"Jiyoo, can we talk?" He asked.
"Okay." I said with a nod.
The two of us headed outside.
"First, I'm really proud of you." He told me.
"Thank you!" I said, smiling. Okay, I'll act the way how it was back then.
"Second, are you avoiding me?" He asked, turning to me.
"I was just busy. Well, midterms will be over soon."
His shoulders dropped. "You're avoiding me."
"Changgu..." I said with a sigh.
"Why? Is it because you confessedㅡ"
"Changgu!"
"What?"
"Stop." I said turning away, my cheeks heating up.
He went in front of me and leaned down to meet my eyes. How could a pair of dark brown eyes be so beautiful? "Son Jiyoo,"
I pulled my head back a little since he was inching closer to my face. "Um. You're a bitㅡ"
"You didn't change your mind, did you?" He asked.
"What are youㅡ"
"Okay." He said, standing up straight. Finally, I could breathe again. "I like you, too." He added and for a second I thought I was just imagining it.
"What?" I asked, wide eyed.
"I like you, Son Jiyoo." He said, smiling radiantly.
I blinked, feeling a little dizzy. "If you're saying this only becauseㅡ" I said, but then he kissed me and the world fell away.
My legs felt wobbly at the feeling of his warm, soft lips against mine, so I held onto his coat to keep myself standing. I closed my eyes and he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me close. He leaned his forehead against mine as our lips parted, I shook my head... "No..." I whispered.
"Why not?" He asked.
I cupped his cheeks, stupidly tearing up again. "We can't."
He kissed me again and a tear rolled down my cheek because my heart was contradicting my mind so hard. He kissed my cheek softly and dried the tears. And God. It was so beautiful, my heart was glowing and breaking at the same time. "Don't cry, Jiyoo." He said worriedly.
"I'm sorry, we can't." I said, pulling away.
"Why?"
Hajoon. For the first time in a long time, I thought about him again. "I can't love you anymore because you're not making yourself worth it."
I know he and Changgu are very different. I'm aware butㅡI'm afraid that eventually, he would realize that I'm not worth it. Will he still feel the same once he'd seen all my scars?
I swallowed. "You know why. We're not..." My heart clenched. "We're not..." I repeated.
He looked at me desperately, waiting.
I looked away. "We're not right for each other."
⛄⛄
[[ CHANGGU ]]
The next day, I drove Yanan to the airport with Kele. After they said good byes, he patted my shoulders strongly. "Don't be too sad." He said.
I smiled at him. "Don't worry. I'm not sulking."
He smiled back. "Give her time."
I nodded.
"It's gonna be a long time before I visit again. You have to be with her by then." He joked.
I sighed. "I hope."
"Aye, I could tell she's really into you. Just don't give up on her."
"Yes, Cupid Yanan."
He chuckled and grabbed his luggage. "Keep in touch, you two!" He said waving at me and Kele until he disappeared from the view.
⛄⛄
[[ JIYOO ]]
Mom sold the house in Daejeon and the money we got, we spent it on moving to a two-room apartment in Seoul. She spent the rest of it by franchising a small pizza house.
Seunghyub helped us with the moving a lot, so by December, everything was settled.
The new apartment that I now call home felt so much better. Even thought I have my own room, sometimes, I move to my mom's room to sleep beside her.
"You don't have to skip another year of college. I'm going to do my best so you can finish it off next year." She told me one night and I was so happy I hugged her.
I was happy to come home at night with a warm meal waiting for me, but I miss Changgu's delivery meals.
I was eating tteokbokki with Seunghyub by the street before we go to Mijin's party preparation. I asked him, "Do you think I did the right thing?"
He glared at me. "No, totally not."
"When did you get so supportive of Changgu?"
"Since he protected you from your father and he put him to the hell where he belongs." He said, "Do you think Hajoon could have risked his porcelain ass like that?"
I chuckled. "No."
"Changgu, that guy, haaaas it bad."
"Why?"
"He just got his head stop from bleeding, but he escaped with a bandage around his head to drive you to Daejeon."
My heart fluttered. I stuffed tteokbokki in Seunghyub's mouth.
He looked at me seriously and said, "Give him and yourself a chance, Jiyoo. You can't always find someone like that in life, you know. Someone who's willing to risk something for you."
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A/N:
NEWS FLAAAASH
CHANGGU IS BLOND!!! OMG XD
HOW DO U GUYS FEEL ABOUT THIS?
Unis always asked him to dye his hair and now weeee here 😂