|| 6 Months Ago ||
I kept pedaling even tho it wasn't the best considering I was crying a river, but I needed to get away from everything. Away from what just happened.
I could still see the exact moment when the camera crashed against the floor, shattering along with my chances to get away from here. Why? Why?! I'd been working so hard to get it perfect just to have everything messed in the last possible minute? It almost felt like everytime I get close to escape life pulls me back to ugly reality. The violent sob almost made me fall off the bike. What had I ever did to deserve that?
I reached Granny's house, luckly she was visiting that friend from the neightbour town and wouldn't be back until tomorrow. I was glad wasn't here at that time to see how pathetic her only granddauther and last family member was. I hate to disappoint her. I didn't even bother to parked the bike correctly, I just threw it on the side of the porch and made my way towards the door not hearing the car that pulled out in front until its door was harshly opened.
My eyes widened when the driver get out in a rush, calling for me. The heck was he doing here? Considering school still running and by the time he got here I guessed he must had rushed after me almost as soon as I left. Did he came to rub salt on the wound? My despair morphed into bitter fury.
This was the last straw.
One thing was to mess with me and another was to blow my future posibilities. He's crossed yet another line. It was like he challenged himself in order to keep coming up with new tortures. The fake look in his eyes didn't help.
"Lys. Fuck, I'm so sorry, I would never-"
As soon as he reached me I did what I never thought I will.
I slapped him across the face. Hard. So hard that my palm ached and he groaned, but I forbade me to feel any guilt. For once I didn't care about the concequences. I didn't give a damn about his revenge tomorrow! He take college away from me and today I was allowed to be a bitch.
"You're a selfish bastard!" I yelled and I actually felt good while. Brett slowly turned to face me, his lips parted, completely baffled as he brought on hand to his cheek. It already had started turning red. I clenched my shaking fists to prevent myself from doing it again. I'm so not a violent person but I was beyond myself at this point. "You have no idea what you'd done. What you've destroyed!"
He didn't mirrored my rage like I'd thought he would. Brett actually seemed lost, like he had no idea 'bout how he ended up there. He looked so innocent and vulnerable for once and it infuriated me to the edge.
"I didn't mean for it to happen. I was just joking and it-"
"Joking?" I cut him in disbelief. "JOKING? Oh, you were joking. Everything is a freaking damn joke for you! You just mess everything up! That's what you do!"
His eyes sparked and I realized I hurt him. Good. He's been hurting me for long enough.
"Giggles-"
"No!" I cut him harshly at that damn nickname. He just destroyed my future and now he was acting like that? Who did he think he is? My blood boiled with rage. "I hate you! I hate you so damn much and you just- I can't even- Aargh!" I threw my arms to the air, frustrated and pulled my hair. I felt my eyes starting to water again and I pressed them with my palms to prevent me from sniffling in front of him once more. I took a deep shaking breath and fixed my gaze to the floor between our feet, still tense; but I finally managed to make up a whole sentence. "I'm done with you, Brett. I want you out of my life. I'm tired of this shit."
"Alyson, please-"
He grabbed my hand in his but I just shook my head and pulled it out, not looking him in the eyes like he was trying so hard to do. His mere touch made me shuddered and I hate it. I ignored his pleading, just like he always ignored mines. It had gone too far. So much that I didn't even could see the line anymore.
I took a step back into the house and slammed the door close. The weight of what I'd ust donw came crushing at once and I leaned on the wooden surface, unable to contain it anymore and crying it all out. He provably could still heard me but I just couldn't help it. I slipped 'til the floor and cuddled upon myself, weeping like there were no tomorrow. And there weren't. I couldn't go to college. I couldn't live my life like I'd planned.
What am I gonna do now?
I continued to sob long before I heard his car leave. Long before the sun came down and left me in the shadows. I sniffled 'till there were no tears left in me and I passed out on the floor. Glad that Granny didn't see me like this.
Broken and pitiable.
|| Present ||
I shut my eyes closed and prayed with all my will. Please don't come, please don't come, please don't-
"Hey there."
Damn it.
His voice sounded way too close and smooth but with an amused under tone that gave me goosebumps. I knew this was bound to happen, but facing the devil was never something you can properly prepared for.
I haven't seen him since half a year ago, when I told him those awful things after he turned my life upside down before leaving for a soccer course and an intensive in Orlando the past trimester. Will he want revenge? Knowing him it might be a possibility. And now neither Macy nor Norah were with me. Brett had cornered me the perfect time. He always does.
His arm rested on the top of my locker, caging me between him and the door, and I kept my face down so my hair fell as a curtain. A shudder squeezed me and I had to force my breaths to remain calmed as I kept packing my books.
"Well," Brett now sounded annoyed at my lack of response. Well done, Alyson. "How's been everything lately?"
"Fine." I quietly mumbled hoping for him to let it go.
"Did you miss me?"
Not at all! But instead I just shrugged and closed my locker. "I have to go to class." I mumbled still avoiding his gaze.
"Alright." was his response but he still didn't move an inch.
I furrowed my brows. The hell is his problem? What part of 'I want you out of my life' didn't he get? I softly cleared my throat, not wanting to start the back from Christmas break with the wrong foot. "Can you please move?"
"Won't you look at me?" Brett asked instead and my heart raced as the grip on my book tightened.
"I don't want to be late..."
"Oh, spare me, Giggles." he huffed not buying my bullshit and suddenly snatched the science book from my grasp, making me gasped. Baffled I finally looked up and was greethed by his mesmerizing blue orbs. I used to love those eyes. I used to think they were so beautifull an unic they must be from heaven. But that was when I was a little girl. Years passed and life put me in my place, with no prince charming with magic eyes.
I realized he'd change this past months. He'd grown about three inches and his whole body looked broader, more musculed. I got to admited he did look great. His short aurburn hair messed in that way that drives girls crazy and his smirk now told me he just caught me checking him out. My cheeks blushed and I focused my gaze to the book in his hands, ignoring the fact that some people on the hallway had already stopped to watch amused.
Anxiety clenched my guts. This couldn't end well. It never does with Brett Ryder.
"C-can you give it back, please?" I asked breathlessly and extended my arms but he held it out of my reach with a playful smirk.
"What if I don't?"
A shiver ran my body down as a flashback exploded on the back of my mind. This was too similar to what happen at the end off junior year. Disgustingly way too similar. I'd been there before and my stomach twisted at the memory. I felt more and more eyes on our little scene and another memory assaulted me.
You stay away from us, all of us.
My chest tightened and panic made his way through my veins. Jade's threat was too fresh on my mind and body. I didn't want to push her nerves again, but Brett had been the one to approach me. What was that? A plot? He teassed me so Jade could punnish me later? This is sick.
I was practically hyperventilating and he lifted one brow at me.
"Lys?"
"Y-you know what?" I stuttered taking a step back. "Keep it."
Brett frowned but before he could say anything or we could dragged anymore attention I pivoted my heels and practically ran to my class head down, away from everyone's eyes as my heart painfully pounded in my chest.
Thank God, I got science with not one but both my friends, and as soon as I spotted Norah in the middle, examining her nails while painting them with tippex, I let myself fell on the desk next to hers.
"Hey, girl!" she greethed with a smile. "You want me to fashionize your hands."
Recovering my even breaths and normal heartbeat, I eyed her white nails carefully. "Is that even safe? Isn't it, like, toxic or something?"
"Oh, please." she snorted waving her hand to dry her fashion. "You worry way too much."
"Or you way too less." retorded Macy sitting infront of us with a smile.
"You chicks don't get to enjoy the life in all it's brightness."
I giggled, finally getting over the little rush back there. "Tippex polish is part of the life's brightness?"
"Of course!" she gasped, eying us like we were the cray ones. "Along with the midnight tarot and fries with Coke."
We struggled to keep a straight face but after some painfull seconds the three os us bursted into laughing.
"How disgusting." I scrunched my nose pulling out my belongings and Norah shrugged.
"Your lost."
"Oh, by the way." Macy took a familiar textbook from her backpack and handed it to me. "Somebody gave me this for you." I gawked at her, taking my book.
"What-? Who?"
"Who do you think?" she rolled her eyes. "The same person who took it."
Norah tapped my forehead mockingly but I pushed her finger away and scowled.
"Brett Ryder?" my voice had a pretty obvious disbelief tone but I couldn't help it. "You're sure?"
She laughed.
"Absolutely."
My brows knitted together in bewilderment and suspicion. "What's his deal?"
Macy shrugged. "If you ask me, he seemed pretty genuine."
I didn't buy that for a second. There's always a deal with him. He seemed playful or even gentle and then something snapped and things ended up broken.
My barbie, my arm, my camera, my dreams...
The further I stay from him the better. Yeah, it sounded like a plan.
I just hope I could follow through with the plan.
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I know, I know... two in a row... But today I felt like it :) Hopefully next update won't take another month LOL.
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