Paxton Flynn
I remember my first and only breakup. It was a relationship that lasted 7 months. God, remembering the whole thing made me want to throw up. I wasted valuable time, feelings and all the bullshit valuable first on that idiota.
Jared Bohen, I don't think I can forget the first day I saw him. It was also the first day I witnessed my parents fighting. The day started up horrible, Percy and I woke up to their shouting down, mum was even crying and throwing insult at Dad. Percy and I actually thought a divorce was on its way. I went to school distraught and my thoughts were occupied. I could hardly concentrate, thinking of all the trouble heading our way, remembering all the stories I've heard from kids with separated parents and trying to put myself in their shoes. I couldn't.
Jared was an assistant coach and that was his last week in school. I was just walking by and I literally bummed into him. It was fireworks at first sight. He was the most attractive guy I had ever seen back them and compared to some, he had muscles and wore glasses. He came off as a caring teacher, wanting to know what's wrong with me. I broke down in his presence, crying my heart out and telling him every disturbing thing going on in my head.
He took me to his office and that was the first move made to create a ripple of disasters. The first bad thing to happen. He actually gave me good advice and was able to lift my spirits. Jared was a very story teller, he was funny, lively and had a lot of energy. During my free period he would sometimes take me out, we'd go window shopping, actual shopping, lunch anything at all. Anything at all to get my spirits up. We became really good friends and we could tell each other about anything.
Because of him I started attending football matches and actually paying attention, I usually attend just so Lan would see me as the supporter that I'm claiming to be. After a score in our favour, Jared would turn to me, pump a fist up and even wink. I was a new in this gay thing and he apart from Lan was the only guy paying attention to me. It couldn't be helped, I was developing a big crush that couldn't be stopped.
I almost cried when he was leaving the school but he promised we'd keep in touch. And he kept his promise alright. We met after school, on weekends, anytime we were both free, doing all sorts of things. I even helped him pack into his college room, he didn't have any roommates and together we shaped the room to his taste. It's the community college so meeting up wasn't going to so hard.
Somehow he caught up on my crush to him and started being all flirty and touchy. I should have run then because he was Nineteen and I Sixteen. He kissed me first and I immediately curled into a hole but as the sweet tongue guy he is, he assured me that everything was fine. He said he wouldn't do anything until I was ready, he just wanted me happy and loved me. I eventually gave in, I liked him too and finding guys that liked me too was so rare, I thought it impossible.
The first month of our relationship was splendid. We didn't do anything but kiss, hold hands, text. Jared was actually keeping his promise and I saw him as the best boyfriend ever. Ryder was against it of course, she hated the teacher student thing but he didn't work in our school anymore so I figured it okay.
Things started to change along the way and Jared started demanding more and more. He wanted to kiss longer, he wanted my clothes off, he wanted me to touch him in places I wasn't comfortable with yet. When I'd show some resistance, he'd remind me of other gay relationships, how many people fawned over him, how he had many options, girls and boys alike. How he wasn't made of wood and how... he just wanted to show me how much he loved me.
We did things together with or without my full consent. Jared always said laws had nothing to do with love. So despite me being freaking sixteen, it didn't matter as long as we loved each other. We had sex, a couple times. My no and tears meant nothing. I spaced out more recently and I was seriously dropping in my school work. Sometimes the pain won't let me think of anything else and I'd find myself crying. But I couldn't leave him, he said actually mustering the heart to spring tears to his eyes. We loved each other and were meant to be.
I was falling apart and the friendship I thought we had was pretty much nonexistent, it was just sex whenever he wanted it. Thankfully I had friends and they came to my rescue, Ryder made me catch him red handed tangled up with a girl on his sheets. It was a messy breakup, I cried my soul out. We however got revenge, Ry and Lan painted 'PEDOPHILE' on his new lovely car, Jared went crazy and when he approached us, Ryder threatened to have him reported to the police claiming to have videos and records she clearly didn't. Jared fell for it however, he left us.
He had the nerve to come back a couple times and plead for forgiveness but that chapter of my life was closed forever.
I never told my parents and its a miracle I actually got over all that and still had hope on guys. Its a miracle Jared Bohen didn't completely destroy me. We all make mistakes and learn from it, I was really foolish and naive but I'd like to think I've gotten smarter over the years. And what I had with Jared didn't come close to love, not at all. What I have with Sebastian however, that really close. Like its really Love.
Anyway the point of everything is I had Ryder Tracey and Landon Mitch to help get me out of my last relationship, now I'm on my own. I have to do this myself. At least I'm consoled by the fact that Spencer and I aren't in an actually relationship.
My skimmed over the text Spencer sent earlier today when I'd asked to meet up. I let him pick the venue as usual and now I was standing outside a bookstore slash coffee house. This should be interesting. I stepped into the slightly posh yet simple place and was immediately attacked by the mix smell of coffee and books. The best mix ever. Two favourites together, why do I have a feeling Spencer specifically chose this place.
A smile immediately graze my features as I spot Spencer sitting at the far end corner. He had his hands wrapped around a mug as he blew into it. As I walked towards him, he looked from the mug finally seeing me. He grins standing up. His curly black hair was up in a bun, putting his whole face out there. He had a button down shirt, dark skinny jeans with ripped knees and a leather jacket over it all. I couldn't deny that he looked attractive, I'm a sucker for men with buns and a leather jacket.
But, the face, body and whole self simply wasn't my taste. He wasn't Sebastian.
"Hey."
"I didn't think you'd come again Pax." He said, moving to create space for me to walk into the booth. "Sorry I ordered before you."
I shrug, "it's fine. Sorry I'm late, I had..." I looked down at my sweats, "a fashion emergency."
Spencer laughed and I did too. He reaches forward enclosing me in a hug and placing a kiss very close to my lips. My smile dropped. "Its okay Paxton, you look great as always."
Inhale. Exhale. "Thanks."
Silence fell between us and I used the awkward moment to look around. "This is a wonderful place, Spence."
Spencer shrugs, "Thanks, I figured you'd love it."
"I do."
More silence.
"Pax, are we alright?" Spencer looking up at me with vulnerability and worry.
"W-We?" I shuttered out, getting all sweaty. Time to point at the elephant in the room. Spencer raised his brows. I gulped. "Fine. I actually came over to..." I looked down at my fingers. "... to break up with you."
"Break up?"
I sighed. "I know we're not technically together but Ry said--"
"Ry?" Spencer's eyes widen, then he tossed his head back and laughed humorlessly. A laugh that made my squirm a little. "Of course, I should've known. This all has Ryder Tracey written all over it."
"No no." I raise my hand up in a bid to clear up things. "Ryder didn't tell me to break up with you. She had nothing to do with this."
"Then what is this? Why are you ending things when we've barely begun." He reaches for my hand. "I like you a freaking lot Paxton. More than I thought. We have something between us and you know it. You like me too, right?"
"I-I do." I shuttered out, almost literally shaking. I hate this. Sebastian. I slowly pulled my hand out of his. "I like Sebastian more."
His face looked like I just slapped him. "Sebastian? The asshole?"
"He's not an asshole, Spencer." I say, my voice the loudest it's been since I stepped in here.
"He's-- he's straight Paxton."
I look away, "doesn't matter. I can't do this with you Spencer. Whatever we had, it's over."
"No. You're making a mistake." Spencer says gripping my hands again.
"Great then." I take my hand again. "Please Spence. We made a mistake. I made a mistake." Again. "I shouldn't have used you."
"I said I didn't mind!" Spencer says shouting and attracting a lot of attention. He fists his palms and hit the table. "Damn it. It's Ryder, isn't it. She's the one doing this. She hates me, Pax, you have to understand. We were perfect before you found out about us and now she's messing this up. Pax..."
"Stop it, Spencer." I shout too, having had enough. I really hate this and Spencer isn't making things easy. I jump off the chair, walking out. The situation is bad enough, I don't need pairs of eyes on me.
"Paxton, wait please." Spencer says behind me as he catches up to me outside the coffee book store.
I turn around to him, unable to breath. It's like my lungs were closing in and if I don't say it, I'd be explode. "I love him, Spencer!"
He stops in this tracks, looking pale.
"I'm in love with him, okay?" Breath. "Okay?"
Spencer slowly nods and I do to. "S'okay."
"I'm sorry." I truly am. I don't wait to say or hear more before I take off, running the opposite direction.
Nothings are truly complicated. Everything with me is. There's only one complicated I like and can actually put up with.
Sebastian Crown.
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