Hi all,
Yet to catch up on comments from the previous chapter, but here is an update.
Happy reading. Do let me know your thoughts.
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Everyone has ghosts, deaths that you regret
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How's Sanskaar?
As they walked back into Mansion, This simple question by Parineeta further escalated the gloomy mood of Maheswari 's they carried from the hospital. Parineeta' smile died down at glare of Adarsh hinting something was wrong. She looked at Annapurna who signaled her to follow and Parineeta did with no questions.
"Do we need to find her, Papa?" Adarsh asked in a low tone. Durga Prasad stared at him in silence.
"Do we have an option, Adarsh?"
Adarsh had his answer.
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That night Adarsh quietly listened to Parineeta's blabbering about the sad turn of events as per details shared by Annapurna.
"So who is this girl? No one in the family seems to know her. Very strange isn't it, Adarsh?"
Adarsh nodded, lied back on the bed and closed his eyes. Parineeta sighed.No wonder whole family was upset, her husband is no exception. She just wished things would soon fall into place. The light went off other than little bed lamp casting its shadow across the room. Adarsh slowly opened his eyes.
'No one seems to know her'
That would be a lie. Everyone does.
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Dr. Bakshi never felt this troubled and guilty. He had no clue his simple question would push Sanskaar to such a state of hysteria and he had to be heavily sedated to calm. The test reports and scans only pushed him closer towards his assertions on condition of Sanskaar.
The reports indicated a damage to brain structure: the limbic system, the portion of the brain that deals with emotions, memories, and stimulation. No wonder He had trouble recollecting memories, memorizing people and his emotions: He would term the volatile ranging between extremes. Calm at times, violent at others.
His attempts get Sanskaar talk had been moderately successful and all he would talk was of Shona. He would claim she would come for him as she loves him. She was angry hence the delay. This was the one thing he would repeat over and over as if he was trying to convince himself and didn't want to encounter any unpleasant truths.
All and all 'Shona' is key. There were no further inputs from Maheshwari family, Sanskaar didn't add up any.
It was then Dr. Bakshi asked if he could make a sketch of Shona. That triggered something unexpected.
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Laksh had never been the one to give up. By hook or crook, he always managed to get whatever he desired for even if he had to employ manipulation which he would have been quite proud before few months, but now this very quality had prompted him to take up the responsibility of figuring out 'Shona'.
He assured rest of Maheswari Family to let him take this up as it would be better to have concentrated efforts than heading in different directions. It would have been easy to hire a detective or investigation agency, but the accident of Sanskaar and his condition had always been under wraps and either Laksh or Maheshwari's had no intentions to endanger the same, especially when they are absolutely clueless on the whole thing. Maybe at later stages, it would be feasible. This was agreed upon.
Hence Laksh took it upon himself and assured rest of family. Laksh 's first step had been paying a visit to Sanskaar's college. Their colleges had been different, he didn't have much knowledge of Sanskaar's friends and he hoped this visit would help him get a lead. His attempts didn't prove much fruitful for all have moved out ..but he managed to get few names and details, A little talk with professors helped him too. He zeroed in few and got in touch with them...
Only Nakul proved to be helpful. It was no secret Sanskaar had been a closed one and if anyone would come to be called as a close friend. It would be Naku as per inputs. Working as an investment banker, the call from Laksh Maheshwari left Nakul intrigued. A meeting made it clear. It's about Sanskaar. The accident of Sanskaar though he had an inkling, details had always been guarded. Nakul listened silently to Laksh.
"Any help ..any details even a little information about this girl would be extremely helpful, Nakul."
"I never met her, in fact, I don't think any of our circle did. It was only from Sanskaar at few instances I heard of her. "
"Not even a photograph? " Laksh quizzed. Nakul nodded in negative.
"She had always been a mystery and we even teased Sanskaar at times calling her 'mystery girl.' All I know is he met her during an inter-college music festival as told by Sanskaar. Woh usse kab milta tha kaha mila tha .. post-college hours, neither of us has clue and you know Sanskaar never appreciated someone prying on his personal life. He always made it clear. So we didn't press him further. Whenever I asked him to get his girl any of our parties or at least introduce us to her, He clearly refused. All he would say, 'When the time comes, I will definitely...But..." Suddenly Nakul looked troubled.
"But?" Laksh frowned, leaning a little forward.
"I don't know If I should put or term it this way but Sanskaar was literally obsessed with this girl who ever it is. The days he didn't get to talk to her or meet her, he used to be extremely upset. He stopped hanging out with us. The following days when he would meet her, he would be ecstatic. I mean I had seen his extreme sides for her. I guess everything was going fine. In fact a week before the accident, he looked absolutely thrilled saying nothing can go wrong now. Then after two days, he looked terrible and distraught saying he couldn't get through her, all his calls and messages went unattended and he was scared if something might have happened to her. I told him everything would be fine ..but he left. I didn't hear from or see him for next 2 -3 days, then the news of the accident ..." Nakul paused, his voice seemingly upset.
"There were times I felt wrong about this girl, I even tried to warn Sanskaar she might be fooling around, but Sanskaar was blindly in love with her, would never hear a word against her. He even avoided me for the next few days till I apologized and assured I would never comment against her."
This girl for sure has something to do with Sanskaar's condition. I will try and see If I can get you more details. I just hope Sanskaar gets well soon.
Laksh drove back recalling Nakul's words
Everything seemed tangled and he had nowhere to go, But he needs to figure out a way. For time being, a meeting with Dr. Bakshi would do.
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Sanskaar felt troubled and agitated. Sitting midst pile of crumpled papers his stained fingers moved rigorously over a plain sheet. Why can't he recall her face? Why? All he could think of was her eyes...sparkling at once, filled with tears at other, teasing ...loving and then they spewed hatred. That was all he could sketch ...nothing else.
On him? Why? His Shona. Why couldn't he recall her face when her very name is etched in his heart. He tried and tried ...but all he could see dull washed away image of her retreating form. She was leaving him ....he image played over again and again and the gnawing ache he felt was intolerable eating away his insides
Why? when? How?
Questions screamed in his head like those undying thousand voices and his helpless state pushing him into further despair. Sanskaar clutched his head. The piercing pain now intensified but his heart throbbed equally. Then he heard his own heart-wrenching pleas.
Mat jao mujhe chodkar please...
Sarita who walked in just after her quick lunch break found Sanskaar in the state of turmoil curled in corner of a room. She approached him hastily and the death grip of his hand over hers scared her for a minute.
"Woh jaa rahi hain mujhe chod kar .. Rokho usse. Rokho usse.Please rokho usse. " His screams intensified. Sarita didn't delay and summoned the doctor.
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It was at that time Laksh met Dr. Bakshi and was giving him snippets of the information. Dr.Bakshi shared his own observations.
" Hmm, it could mean just before accident Sanskaar faced a major psychological trauma. Only that makes a perfect sense for his condition. My guess would be, they might have had a fight or a break-up...because the way Sanskaar keeps saying she was angry with him hints the same and She never showed up post accident all these months which is very very strange if Sanskaar claims of her love are true. It's clear they are not. "
Laksh nodded in silence. She definitely was not serious and played with Sanskaar's feelings. He will not spare her whoever she is. Laksh fumed within. Once he finds her he's gonna make her pay a price and it's gonna be heavy.
Doctor...
An alarming voice came in.
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Sanskaar .. Laksh struggled to hold Sanskaar who looked hysterical trying to get out of the room. Ward boys came to his aid as they brought struggling and screaming Sanskaar forcible back to bed. His screams seemed never ending asking to stop her.
"Kaun Sanskaar ?"
He fell into silence at once... as those words rang in his ears.
Kaun? Kaun?
The screams playing in his head become more clear now, his pleas falling into deaf ears then. It's not shona ... It's ... Its
Mat jao mujhe chod kar please...
Sanskaar turned to Laksh and clutched his hand.
"Swa .. Swa..ra. Swara ..."
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Swara woke up with a jerk, her forehead dewed with sweat. The same nightmare and his screaming voice which never left her. She grabbed a glass of water with trembling hands and gulped down at once.
It has been months ... still, he managed to stir those memories in her leaving her restless most of the nights. Why can't he let her stay in peace? She left him behind. It's over. It ended.
Only it wasn't really.
Not when you have ghosts from your pasts lurking in shadows inflicting their madness at times. You can walk and run away ...turn a blind eye, ignore them bury then deep but you can't get rid of them, not when they live within you for past is a determined ghost.
No wonder she was left haunted...
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as she appears in weird shapes and strange forms,
now plain to the eye, now shadowy, now shining in the darkness—
all this in unnerving attacks in the gloom of night.
From hymn to Melinoe:
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Notes and References
Melinoe is the of ghosts. Her name means "Dark Thought" in Greek. Melinoe is a strange goddess and her appearance is frightening. Her left side is black and hardened like a mummy and her right side is pale and chalky as if she were drained of all her blood. She wears a golden dress and a golden shawl, and her eyes are empty black voids. However, seeing her in this form is unlikely, as, being the goddess of ghosts, she can appear as whoever she wants, haunting people in their nightmares,She can take on the appearance of the dead people in a person's life, using guilt and anger from the person as an ally or as an advantage in battle. She then uses this to destroy them.