I could barely pay attention to what was happening around me as I erupted into screams of frustration and desperation. I pushed back against the balcony rails, sinking further and further down onto the floor. It had been ten minutes since the rage of fire had scandalised my body, yet no matter how much I screamed Dale was nowhere to be seen.
“Move back” Kai’s voice drifted into my ears as he once again saved me from the lust driven advances of unmated males.
My scent seemed to have drifted into the depths of the castle and dragged with it those who wished to rid me of my heat. I dragged myself to the corner as another man appeared, he rushed into the balcony crashing into another male who had appeared only moments before him. His eyes showed the instinctive yellow eyes of his wolf and as he looked at me, I could see the instinctual drive that possessed him to find me an attempt to get me pregnant.
My muscles shook violently as I tried to hold back another throat wrenching scream. Kai grabbed the two men before him and smashes their heads into one another, as he let go they both stumbled backwards and crashed onto the floor in a pile with the eight other unconscious men.
He looked back at me his whole body tense as if he too was trying to hold himself back. I watched as his eyes flashed and as they did I could see Avaro staring back at me trying to take control over Kai, so that he too could give in to his instincts. One by one Kai’s muscles locked into place shaking rigidly as he pushed back his wolf.
He ripped his eyes away from mine and closed them, taking in deep breaths. Helplessly I leant back against the rails even further, my body felt as though it would burst any minute now. I sent a silent prayer upwards for Dale to arrive soon, I wasn’t sure how long Kai would be able fight off the others or for how long he would suppress Alvaro. I closed my eyes, hot tears slipping from under my lids and scalding my cheeks. A loud growl sounded through the air suddenly, causing my eyes to shoot open in fear. Before me Avaro stood, his eyes aflame as he roared. His cry made me shudder, passing through my body and into the surrounding area.
My head bowed immediately and I realised it was an Alpha call, he was commanding Dale to come before him. It felt as though an eternity had passed before another male entered the entrance of the balcony. Avaro turned with a warning grumble but then relaxed moving away from me with rigid steps. The man was drenched with sweat his black hair sticking against his tanned skin, his eyes held that blue grey showing the balance between himself and his wolf. His eyes travelled to Avaro with what seemed like a mixture of confusion and relief.
As one last forced scream left me Dale ran to me, as his arms went to my body I felt relief of my own flood through me. Cool patches remained wherever he touched me, as he lifted his lips to meet mine a wash of coolness froze the fire in its path. My arms held on desperately to him as I drew him closer and closer. Dale gently moved me away from him, pushing away from my helpless advances as I tirelessly pulled him to me.
“Izarra” he pleaded as attempted to take his shirt
He ran his arms up and down my back and as I got cooler and cooler it occurred to me that we were on a balcony and we had an audience. Dale lifted me up to his chest, as he silently thanked his brother. I couldn’t bring myself to look at Kai as he crouched in his naked form, at the entrance. Slightly ashamed I leant into Dale’s chest, allowing his body to flood mine with a cold that I could not receive anywhere else.
***
I sighed in comfort twisting amongst the blankets as my body was once again normal. I could still feel Dale’s hands all over me and the breezy trail they had left on my body. My hands went down to my stomach as I realised what had just happened, there was a possibility that right at this very moment the development of a child could be at play.
I turned around, my arms wrapping around the sleeping body of Dale, a small shudder left him and he turned around. I smiled in surprise, as his clear blue eyes blinked away the remnants of sleep and stared at me.
“I’m sorry” he whispered caressing my face
I didn’t have to ask what he was apologising for, I looked away for a moment thinking back to how scared I had been but I couldn’t be angry at him. I shook my head looking back at him, there was nothing to apologise for. He had been hurt and I could understand that, I knew that if either of us had known that I was going to go into heat he would have stayed.
“Where did you go?”
“Into the woods” he replied simply
I nodded, imagining Farran running around in the forest to clear Dale’s frustration. We lay in silence just staring at each other, I smiled as we reached some kind of understanding. What had happened yesterday was no longer of any consequence, we’d move on from this moment.
“We should get ready and spend the day with Cara” Dale said beginning to detangle our bodies from one another
I followed his lead, rising from the bed with a blanket wrapped around me. I made my way to the bathroom getting prepared as fast as I could. Just as I stepped out the door opened and Dale appeared, a towel wrapped around his waist. I smiled at him sheepishly as I reached for something to wrap around myself, he chuckled clearly amused as he dropped his towel.
My eyes widened and I looked away from him, colour filling my face. He shook his head he moved past me, stooping to wrap my towel around me.
“You act as though we haven’t seen each other like this. Do you not remember last night or the many nights before that?”
“It’s different then” I mumbled moving out of the room as fast as I could, even as I shut the door his laughter floated through to me, the boom of it reminding me of Pietro. The thought of him sobered me slightly, as it hit me that I would never hear him laugh again.
My mind turned to the future, he wouldn’t be the last sacrifice. There was war impending and many people I loved and knew would be hurt of even killed. I stared at my reflection, wondering whether I was good enough for that. I had to admit I looked healthier and stronger than I ever had been before, I had come far but I still had a long way to go. If I were to be a queen one day, I would have to begin acting like one now and my first duty was to stop as many people dying as possible.
I knew I would not be able to avoid sacrifices but if I could minimise the casualties I would be able to survive all the horrors that were to come. Quickly I slipped into one of the darker coloured gowns in the armoire. My hands skilfully wrapped my hair up into a neat bun, just as Dale came out water trailing over his body like steamed rivers. I smiled at the sight and then turned away quickly before he could make a comment. Once again as I waited for him, I glimpsed once more at the mirror assuring myself that I could do this. Was this not my destiny after all?
The door sounded with a heavy knock that disrupted my thoughts with such an abruptness, that I jumped in surprise. Dale was still dressing himself, so I rose from the dressing table and answered. I was surprised to see Kai and Cara hand in hand with Cara holding a large picnic basket. Cara offered me an angelic smile, before holding the basket towards me. I took it hesitantly still a little confused, my eyes moving between the mismatched two.
“Uncle Kai helped me to prepare a picnic for us” she said brightly
I looked to Kai in confirmation and he nodded his eyes not quite meeting mine. Dale appeared behind me, his hands immediately going to my waist, a large grin broke onto his face at the sight of his daughter and brother.
“That’s wonderful. Yesterday I found this really nice spot in the wood, just by the river we can eat there”
Cara nodded excitedly her smile widening all the more. I stood with a frozen smile, my mind mulling over the events of yesterday. As everything came back to me, I felt overwhelmed it was as though it had all just been one huge blurry dream. Kai’s eyes flashed upwards and as they met mine I was sure he too was thinking of the same thing, he looked away again slowly removing Cara’s hand from his.
“I shall take my leave now”
Behind me Dale sighed heavily, the noise caused Kai to stop and for a moment the two of them seemed to be suspended, conversing with each other I was sure in their minds. I took a moment to kiss Cara, smoothing down her wild curls. I glanced back at Dale, who’s face had become very rigid like a mask that was about to break. As the seconds ticked by it softened, rolling out gently into a forgiving smile.
“Join us” he said finally
Kai looked at me as though he were seeking some sort of permission. Behind those fiery eyed I could see the lonely glimpse of blue, he was not coping as well as any of us hurt and day by day he was cracking. Something was breaking through him and I wasn’t sure I was going to like it, if it ever got the chance to escape.
I smiled handing him the basket, like me he was hesitant to take it but once he had his eyes lit up with a smile from within. Sighs exploded from all around as though we had all been holding our breaths. Dale watched us with a slight smile, before he stepped out and began to lead the way to this magnificent spot he had found. I took Cara’s hand as she tugged me down the corridor at a speed I would have thought impossible for her age.
By the time we arrived I was breathless, the cold winter air shading my cheeks a joyful pink. I held my dress as I ran after Cara who had lost no energy from the moment we had started our game. She stopped laughing at the mess I had made of myself, the bun I had placed newly on my head just a mere half an hour ago was dishevelled and had began to unravel wisps of midnight black strands falling over my face. My dress was creased, with a few unsightly marks from where I had splashed into small muddy pools of water. Despite this I broke into a laugh and continued my pursuit. Cara squealed in surprised as I launched myself at her, catching her in my arms.
I started to tickle her, only pausing when I became aware of my surroundings. My breath caught at the truce between the forest and the burbling stream standing side by side in mutual agreement, to showcase nature’s true beauty. Lunacloves lined the area between the stream and the edge of the trees, acting like a substance that married the two environments to each other. I placed Cara on the ground, smiling at the beauty that surrounded me.
The sound of Dale and Kai, caused me to turn around observing the two brothers as they walked side by side both carrying the same small smiles on their faces. My smile widened, this was not something I had ever witnessed but the sight warmed my heart. It seemed Dale and I were not the only ones moving forward.
“You were right it’s beautiful” I stated as Dale stood next to me
He smiled at me, reaching up to completely unravel my bun. I gave him a playful smile before I pushed back my hair so it looked somewhat orderly. Dale chuckled, before running to Cara and spinning her around while she giggled in delight. My gaze drifted to where Kai stood, staring in my direction but not really looking at me, his eyes blank with thoughts I could not comprehend.
Slowly I moved to his sight, as I came closer he frowned blinking furiously until his eyes had cleared once more. He passed me the basket without a word, not knowing that was not the reason I had approached him. I took it nonetheless opening it up and taking out the blanket, to lay on the wet grass. Diligently I set up our breakfast, which mainly consisted of different breads, fruits and small fruit pies.
I sat down with a slightly exhausted sigh, Kai was still stood his eyes blank once again but his faze focused on Dale and Cara who were chasing each other up and down, screams of laughter leaving Cara as she evaded her father. Far off memories of myself and the King many years ago doing the same thing floated into my mind and despite myself I found a smile breaking onto my face. I shook my head gently, it would not do to think of such things not when he was now the enemy.
“How are you feeling?” I asked spontaneously, the question has been itching to leave the tip of my tongue and it felt that there was no better time than now.
Kai withdrew from his thoughts after seeming to realise the question was addressed to him. He slowly sat down, as though he was in pain. I handed him an apple which he took graciously, playing with it in his hands as he answered me.
“I am well physically but I do not feel like myself. I… I am no longer in control of my emotions” his eyes skimmed the cloth and I immediately felt uncomfortable. His hesitation and lack of confidence scared me a little, he was right in these few days he has become a completely different person and it did not sit well with me. There was something disturbing about his emotional vulnerability, that shook me from within seeing the person within has shown me something I knew I was not meant to see.
I cleared my throat, watching Dale and Cara once more. I took a small bite from my pear and then turned to Kai once more.
“Thank you…for yesterday”
He shook his head
“Dale is my brother and you are his... mate. I am sure he would have done the same for me” Kai stumbled over the word mate and I felt sympathetic as I realised I must have still hurt. Almost instinctively I thought about his mark of rejection. I lifted my hand unconsciously to my mark, shuddering as I imagined never being able to feel those to tingle when Dale was nearby, or the shoot of ecstasy when he kissed it. With this mark I never felt lonely and when I looked at it, it was a confirmation that someone truly loved me.
“I know but thank you, if anything comes of this heat it’ll be a result of your bravery and strength. I know it was hard for you to stop Avaro’s instincts from submerging your thoughts”
Kai bowed his head biting into the apple before he looked up at me for the first time in a while.
“I’m dubious that anything will happen but like I said, it was my duty as your Alpha and brother-in-law”
Kai’s sudden coldness took me aback and I couldn’t help but feel a little offended by his clipped answer, was it not courtesy to not just accept my gratitude? His hard stare challenged me as I calmly questioned.
“And why do you doubt my ability to carry a child?”
He stared unflinchingly, his eyes brightening by the moment
“I do not doubt your childbearing abilities but it is a known fact that mates who are not true mates take longer to conceive, than those who have been matched by the Goddess”
I frowned refusing to stare away from him
“What of you and Tatiana?”
He paused seeming to be lost for a moment
“The child did not survive, even if the red wolf had not attacked her she would have lost it at some later stage”
My hand flew to my stomach in denial, trying to protect a child that probably didn’t exist. Kai seemed enraged by the action, his nostrils flaring slightly.
“You do not know that it’s just speculation”
Kai’s mouth flew open in retaliation but before he could say anything Dale’s hands had clamped on both of our shoulders, I calmed down a little nut Kai was as tense as ever. His expression was so stormy that I would not have been surprised if it remained that way forever.
“It’s true Izarra, we are the proof” he said gesturing to all three of us
Dale’s eyes locked with mine confirming the truth but I still shook my head in denial. He sat down, fixing something for Cara before sending her off to collect some wild flowers. Dale’s eyes drifted between myself and Kai the two of us refusing to look at one another, silent fury building up from inside of us.
I knew my parents were true mates, mother was far younger than the King but within the first year of their mating Marcus had been born. I had then followed after some five years and then there had been Melina, the King had searched for hundreds of years and once he’d found her that had been it.
“I promised you that day on the beach that I’d tell you about our mother” Dale looked to Kai who nodded bitterly. Dale turned to me, preparing himself for the tale. I let my anger dissipate for the moment, this tale was clearly one of great importance to Dale and Kai and so I wanted to give it my undivided attention.
“Father and mother knew each other from the day they were born. They had been born mere hours after each other and so grew up as the best of friends. Everyone had expected them to be true mates, they were so connected in a level that was unusual. They could feel each other even before they had even mated. However when they turned eighteen it was revealed that they were not true mates, despite this they decided to mate each other hoping never to find their true mates.”
There was an awkward pause at which all of our eyes wandered around each other, Kai cleared his throat continuing the story to fill the stifling silence.
“They tried for children for one hundred years but mother would lose the child or just not get pregnant at all. Still their love for each other was enough to stop the strains on the mating but the elders were insistent that they have an heir. On the hundredth year of their mating mother found her true mate, there had been some rouge activity in the area they went out to scout the perimeter, when an ambush took place. One rouge was about to kill father when mother pushed him down and ripped out his throat, it was only when out of reflex he shifted into his human form she realised that she had just killed her one true match. This was of no consequence to her because she wanted no one else but father.”
Dale’s hand slipped into my hands as my heart sped up, Kai cleared at the ground before he continued once more.
“Twenty years went past with no children, by now Father had spoken to the King who was searching for his true mate. Father learnt that until both true mates had been eliminated or rejected they would never have children. On their one hundred and sixty fifth year, Father came face to face with his mate. It took him seven days to reject her and return to mother, that was the year of my birth.”
I remained silent as the two men stared at me, waiting for a reaction. Slowly I removed my hands from my stomach.
“It’s probably for the best, there is an impending war and we have Cara” I said doing my best to muster a smile
However as I looked into their eyes I could see my smile was heartbroken, Kai and Dale exchanged glances but I paid no attention. I could not deny that in the back of my mind the thought of carrying Dale’s child filled me with inexpressible happiness but I would have to remove these thoughts before I caused myself harm.
“Where is she now? I felt her when… Pietro died”
Dale sighed, sadness tinged within his beautiful eyes. Kai carried the same expression the two of them both seeming so heavily burdened. Dale’s hand travelled to my chest holding the pendant that Fantine had given me.
“Our mother was Irina Fantine Van Alen Red Moon”
I froze in shock as Dale dropped the pendant against my chest where it felt heavy all of a sudden.
“But Fantine… she”
Dale hushed me squeezing my hands tighter as he explained
“Father felt so guilty and he shared his guilt with mother. Before the portraits were made, mother volunteered to leave and take a place as your nanny. She completely changed, Teresa gave her substances that suppressed her wolf, allowing her to gain weight and age so your father wouldn’t recognise her. A week before she left we were attacked and she got her scars, we begged her at this stage not to leave but she took it as an opportunity to come up with a plausible story.”
“You haven’t seen her since have you?”
Dale shook his head, closing my eyes I removed my hand from his burying my face in my arms. Just when I had thought they had sacrificed all they had, there was more. Dealing with Pietro’s death was hard but I was doing it, I tried to think of it less and less and knowing that it was intention comforted me but what could I say to this. I had taken their mother from them.
Hands tried to comfort me but I felt numb, just this morning I had already been plotting to limit sacrifices but it seemed I was too late for the biggest ones. I stood excusing myself as they watched me helplessly running away from the family who I was slowly destroying. What would I do next?
Author’s Note
OMG!!! Some of you totally guessed this and I so wanted to be like YES YES YES but you know I didn’t want to spoil it for everyone else. Anyway I have had writer’s block so writing this chapter was literally like climbing a slippery wall (imagine the bruises, those are the bruises on my brain!). Anyway as per usual thank you for all the amazing support despite the fact that sometimes I seem to write like a five year old, I think I should stop writing late at night but it’s when I’m most inspired. Seriously the war between creativity/originality and grammar and spelling is beyond real! Anyway I think I’m leaning towards the former, which I hope is the reason that you guys are still holding on and enduring my mistakes. Still in need of an editor since I’ve been let down twice on Wattpad L I feel totally betrayed, know any trustworthy editors?