Tatiana often had a reoccurring nightmare. It was about the last time she saw her mother and father. In the dream, Tatiana would watch them head towards the little brown cope they always drove and she would always run after them, begging them not to go, and she would always wake up as the car drove away.
Which is why, when the alarm went off Monday morning, the first words out of her mouth were, "Mama?"
Realizing she was awake she reached up to brush the tears from her eyes only to find that they were covered with something. Pressing her hands to her eyes she found it was a sleeping blind. She also felt something fuzzy in her bed. And the alarm going off didn't sound right.
She ripped the blindfold off and was instantly blinded by a sea of pink.
The walls and ceiling and blankets were all pink. There were pink dresses hanging from a blue closet nearby. Next to her was a brown teddy bear. Beyond him was a mountainous pile of stuffed animals.
"What the devil is this?!" She demanded
But what came out was a tiny petulant squeak.
"My voice. What? My teeth. What's happened to me?" Tatiana ran her tongue around her mouth and found a huge gap were her two front teeth used to be.
Across the room was another bed. But it was empty aside from the mattress. There was also a terrarium sitting next to it and a few posters of motor cars.
Tatiana flew off the covers and fell to the floor face first. She looked at her hands and feet in alarm to discover they were now short and stubby. Her mind racing, she left the pink room to find out where she was.
....
Outside she almost collided with a little girl with huge bifocal glasses. Except this girl was only a few inches shorter that Tatiana. The girl looked her over and said.
"Good morning elder sibling."
Tatiana scowled at her. "Good morning...younger sibling?"
The other girl rolled her eyes at the remark. "Yes. Sadly you are still related to the loud family's resident cheapskate. Now if you excuse me, I have some pennies that need pinching." And she turned and walked down the hall in anger.
This simple exchange gave Tatiana a boatload of Data.
She was in someone else's body. Apparently the body of a little girl. This was her home and this girl seemed to be obsessed with pink. The families surname appeared to be loud.
Other doors began to open and more kids came out. Girls of all ages and sizes. For a moment Tatiana wondered if this was some sort of orphanage and "Sibling" was metaphorical but upon closer inspection the girls all had similar features. They were all sisters. Big family.
Behind her came a different voice. "Do you mind?"
She whirled around and found a boy with white hair standing behind her. He looked to be about ten. He obviously lived in the little room at this end of the hall, opposite of the bathroom where the girls were lining up.
"Lola, could you not block the hallway? Some of us have school to go to."
The boy sounded bitter. He passed Tatiana and took his place in line for the bathroom.
The girls name is Lola. Her brother and sisters don't seem to like her.
....
After a while, Tatiana finally made it to the sink and looked at the two tooth brushes remaining. One was pink, the other was blue, and two plus two still equaled four, so Tatiana took the pink one and pretended to brush. After bracing herself, she looked in the mirror and saw the face of a baby faced little toddler with long blond hair and long eyelashes dressed in a bright pink nightgown. She spat in the sink and stared hard at the little girl in the mirror.
This wasn't a dream. It was too specific to be a dream. This wasn't a prank, switching bodies defies man's logical capabilities. Therefore the only conclusion was something of the supernatural. The only question was, is it a freak of nature? Or some kind of design?
"Lola Loud...If you are somehow responsible for this...I swear...I will make you pay dearly for this humiliation..." She whispered with cold fury.
"Kids! Breakfast!" came a woman's voice from downstairs
"Confound it." Tatiana grumbled
.....
After tearing apart the closet and finding nothing but pink dresses, Tatiana put one on and cussed to the heavens.
When she came downstairs she found the entire family treating her with cold contempt. This was fine. Tatiana was in no mood for talk. Instead, she ate solidified sugar pressed into various shapes that some marketing hack dared to call "A part of a complete breakfast" and fought her gag reflex with every spoonful.
And she listened. Tatiana had learned long ago that the best weapons a human being could wield in any situation are their eyes and ears. She knew what they were for and she silently collected data while the loud family talked to each other.
Lori was the cellphone addicted harpy
Leni was the prattling dimwit
Luna was the shrieking delinquent.
The Babbling Hyena was named Luan
The repulsive baboon that spent the morning grunting and bragging about her biceps was called Lynn
Lincoln was easy enough to remember. He sounded quick witted. And he seemed nice enough as children go. Maybe a bit soft in character but you can't hold that against a young boy.
There was a baby named Lily who threw yellow mash at Tatiana's head but the parents did nothing. Whether this was because of the families dislike of Lola or just negligent parenting was unclear.
There was also a very dirty girl in coveralls that came in last and looked similar in age and facial features to Lola. The family began asking her if she was okay and went out of their way to please her while ignoring Tatiana. The girls named was Lana, and she was obviously the occupant of the empty bed upstairs. And at a guess, Lola and Lana were twins.
The self-proclaimed cheapskate in the bifocals was known as Lisa and she...was reading a book on thermal dynamic fusion....Lisa is interesting. Tatiana committed Lisa's face to memory and made a mental note to look into this girl at a better opportunity.
The parents seemed like good natured people but clearly they lacked common sense. Specifically, the use of a condom.
As for the house, it was small and shabby and full of toys and accessories lying around in a heaping me-
"GOOD LORD!! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING!!!" Tatiana thought to herself in shock
There was one member of the family she almost overlooked. A small child dressed in black and white and had bangs drooped down over her face like a damp mop. Her skin was pale and her lips were compressed into a straight line.
"Gasp" the black shadow spoke in a monotone voice, "They're making a movie adaptation of one of my favorite vampire books. This is the happiest day of my life."
Tatiana shook her head in amazement. "This is this the future of humanity? Vampire obsessed Goth babies? Heaven save us."
Then the mother (whose name was Rita) turned to Tatiana and spoke harshly. "Lola, do you have something you want to say to your sister?"
"Can you be more specific?" was the first thought to cross her mind, but Tatiana assumed the dirty girl was the intended recipient and instead gave Lana a very sincere, "I'm sorry Lana. I won't do it again. I promise."
The family turned on her with a venomous scowl. Lana stuck out her tongue and left the room. Tatiana sat there and stared back at them.
What was she supposed to say? I have no idea who you people are. Please enlighten me as to what I'm apologizing for?
....
The parents gave them the choice of riding to school (she clenched her teeth at the thought) in either a death trap on wheels affectionately named "Vanzilla", or a school bus full of hyper active children.
The bus got the most votes. From the chilly over tone, the deciding factor was no one wanted to sit with Lola.
When Tatiana got on the bus she was hit with a chorus of shrieks and chattering. Paper airplanes hit her in the head. Boys belched and laughed. Preschoolers shrieked from the back seats. It was a cacophony of noise and soon her head began to pound.
Lana was swept up into a chair with a group of friends. Along with Lincoln, Lisa and the shadow girl who's name Tatiana wasn't able to catch. Tatiana looked around for someone quiet and spotted a girl in a big overcoat and an unsightly red mark on her face. She seemed to be keeping to herself so Tatiana sat next to her, much to the girl's surprise.
"Good morning." Tatiana said politely
"Hi." The girl looked with questioning uncertainty. She obviously wasn't Lola's friend and was wondering if this was a prank, so Tatiana tried to alleviate her fears.
"I don't feel like talking to people this morning. I hope you don't mind."
This seemed to appease the girl and she turned to look out the window. As she turned her head, Tatian spotted a rather large boil on the girls cheek, partially hidden by her hoodie. "Poor girl. To have such a condition at her age." Tatianna thought to herself.
Tatiana tried to close her eyes and compose her thoughts but how could she amidst all the noise?
What she really wanted to do was try to call her phone and find out if (shudder) her body was occupied by someone else at the moment. But Lola was grounded and her cell phone had been confiscated by mommy. So Tatiana sat there in agony as a massive migraine started to grow.
....
Her earlier hypothesis about no one liking Lola soon became a conclusion when she walked into class (she wisely decided to follow Lana, banking that the twins went to the same class) and the entire body of kids stared at her angrily. What did the bloody girl do? Blow up a hospital?
She walked along to the only available seat next to a girl in shabby looking clothes. The boys made faces and the girls whispered snide remarks under their breath. Tatiana caught "spoiled brat", "Jerk", "Demon Twin" but she didn't even acknowledge these words. They were just children hurling insults. Tatiana got much worse from twitter trolls.
"Go ahead and waste your breath. Lola's not here right now and I'm not taking messages" thought Tatiana.
One particular remark of note was "Birthday Brat". Why was the word birthday included? Lola and Lana are twins so they would share a birthday. Lola hurt Lana. Apparently in public. Tatiana began crafting a way to get the truth out of the first child who was willing to speak to her.
She sat next to the girl. Tatiana guessed she wasn't very popular either and quickly found out why.
"How are you today?" Tatiana asked
"My head is itchy." The girl replied. "I can't tell if I have dandruff or lice. Do you see anything moving around in my hair?"
This set the tone for the rest of the day.
....
The kids bullied her without remorse.
From tripping her in the hallway to writing insults in her textbooks while her back was turned, it was pretty clear they had it out for her.
At recess she got hit with a soccer ball five times. Each time the kids said sorry and when Tatiana moved to another location she would get hit again.
Finally, she had enough and decided an example needed to be made.
After recess, she patiently waited for the teacher to go into the hallway to take a break. Judging from his blood shot eyes it was more of a whisky break. "I hear you pal. I could really use a cold beer right now." Tatiana muttered to herself. But this was not the time for wishing for things she couldn't have.
As soon as Mr. Sang was gone. Tatiana stood up, walked to the middle of class, took Mr. Sangs ruler and smashed it against the chalkboard.
The whole class went quiet as Tatiana smashed it again and again until the ruler broke clean in half. Then she gave the class the same kind of glare that she would give her board of directors when they forgot their place.
"Oh I'm sorry, did I get in the way of your studies?" She replied as if she had merely sneezed.
"Well, now that we're interrupted I might as well have a quick word with all of you. We all know what I did. Many of you were there when I did it. I have heard you all say that I am a bad person. Well let me tell you Guys...I am...a bad person." She spokes these last three words very slowly. Letting the weight of them sink in.
Tatiana began skulking around the room with the broken Ruler in her hand. The children backed away from her in fear but no one left their seats.
"I am a very bad person. I feel terrible about what I did to my sister and the way I behaved. You guys have a right to ridicule me. But there is a limit. Everyone has a limit. What do you think is going to happen when I cross that limit?"
Some kids gulped. One girl in a tutu leaned over to her friend and whispered, "She's freaking out again. Call the police, quick."
Tatiana slammed the ruler in front of the ballet girl. "You think I'm freaking out? This isn't freaking out. I think you know what I'm like when I'm freaking out."
The Ballet girl's eyes went wide. Tatiana kept her voice calm and controlled. Threatening the kids in the most civil of tones.
"And that's the point isn't it? I freaked out in the middle of my birthday party yesterday. Right?"
This question was a gamble. Tatiana wasn't a hundred per cent certain if this was the case but to her gratification she saw many heads nod up and down.
"Right. I regret doing that. I am sorry that I freaked out. You guys are picking on me because I acted like such a jerk, but what's your end goal? To make me freak out again at school? Is that the plan?"
Every kid in class shook its head no. Even Lana was in agreement with everyone else.
"So let's make a deal. You guys make fun of me behind my back but the rough stuff stops now. Otherwise, I'll have no choice but to defend myself. And if I have to defend myself..."
Tatiana shrugged her shoulders in helpless resign.
When Mr. Sang reentered the room Tatiana walked up to him and said (in her best impression of a guilty little girl) "Mr. Sang? I broke your ruler by accident."
Mr. Sang sighed and told Tatiana not to play around with the big ruler anymore. The other kids sat rigid in fear. No one contradicted the little girl in the pink dress.
....
The class had a geography test next. Tatiana finished in three minutes and handed it in. Then she used the rare moment of silence to plan her next move. She had to get cellphone somehow. Right now, Kylie seemed like the best bet. Then her thoughts were interrupted again by a loud cry from across the room.
"Ew!" cried the class as they looked over. It was one of boys. Her was standing in front of the hooded girl from the school bus. The boy was holding the front of his shirt.
"What's happened?" asked Mr. Sang.
"Jenny popped her boils all over me! Look!" The boy pointed to a long stream of pus running down his shirt. Jenny's cheek also had pus and blood which she was trying to hide. The class erupted into cries of disgust.
"You're so gross! Why are you popping boils at school?!" A girl in fairy wings demanded.
"I didn't mean too. They... they pop on their own when they get too big. I just scratched it." The girl replied tearfully.
"Why do you even have boils on your face? Don't you wash it? Is that why you have that huge frickin rash all over your face?" The boy said in a nasty voice.
Back on the bus Tatiana noted the blotchy mark on jenny's face and concluded that it wasn't a rash. If she had boils as well then her condition was a lot more severe than these kids knew.
"Now Mike. Just calm down for a moment. Jenny clearly didn't mean to do it." Mr. Sang started
"Ew! There's blood running down her face! It's all over her desk." Cried another kid.
It was true. The boil was oozing terribly. Jenny began to cry from embarrassment.
Repulsed by the class's behavior, and seeing an opportunity to get what she had been after, Tatiana stood up and shouted. "SIT! DOWN!"
Everyone turned and looked at her.
"Pus washes out very easily. Stop being a drama queen and put it in the laundry. Mr. Sang? Since I finished my test, may I please take Jenny to the bathroom?"
"Thank you Lana. Please do."
"Uh, it's Lola. Actually."
"Oh...Oh!" Mr. Sang looked in surprise, realizing which twin had just offered. "Okay. Yes Lola, please take Jenny and get her cleaned up. Thank you."
Tatiana took Jenny by the arm and escorted her out of the room while Mr. Sang got ready to make a stern lecture of his own.
....
Tatiana dabbed Jenny's bloody sore with Paper towel while the poor girl sobbed and blew her nose.
"It's hard to make people understand." Tatiana began, "That there are things about us that we have no control over. No one wants to be disliked. You didn't ask for this icky skin. You can't control what your body does any more than I can control myself when I get mad."
Jenny sniffed and nodded her head. Tatiana continued.
"You remember how mad I got? Honestly I don't even remember that day too well. I was so mad I practically blacked out."
"That might be because of the crash." Jenny chuckled through her tears.
"The crash? I don't even remember the crash. Seriously, tell me how my birthday went down. Tell me word for word and I'll tell you what I remember."
Jenny did. Tatiana listened patiently to the story of Lola and Lana's seventh birthday and kept her face impassive. Deep inside her mind, she was screaming in horror. Her body was under the control of a lunatic child while she was trapped in grade one. When Jenny was finished, Tatiana kept her cool and said, "I remember getting behind the wheel. Everything after that is a blur."
"Really?" Jenny said in amazement.
"It doesn't happen very often but sometimes I get so mad that my body starts going on its own. I have no control. It's like I've got this angry monster deep down inside that takes over when people push me too far."
"Yeah. But my monsters on the outside. Everyone can see it." Jenny sniffed and wiped her eyes.
Tatiana nodded her head. She was starting to really Like Jenny. She was the first person Tatiana had met all day who didn't prattle on about nothing or treat her with contempt. They talked a little bit more about their respective problems and once Jenny's sore was cleaned up she went to the nurse for a band aid.
....
At lunch Jenny and Tatiana sat together and discussed TV shows. One of Tatiana's close friends was a woman named Sally, who was highly enthusiastic about animated cartoons and talked about them at length. They use to irritate Tatiana to no end but for once those conversations actually came in handy. Jenny watched many of these same shows so Tatiana just parroted some of the things she had heard Sally say.
The girl in plastic fairy wings came by.
"Hi Lola."
Tatiana didn't know this girls name so she had to settle for, "Hi there."
"Do you want to eat lunch together?"
"Sure take a seat."
The fairy girl looked offended by this remark. Taking the cue, Tatiana followed it up with, "Don't worry about Jenny. She's...cool." (Kids still say cool, right?)
"Yeah, Roxie. You can sit here next to Lola. I don't mind." Jenny offered politely
But apparently Roxie did not feel like sharing and murmured that she was okay by herself.
"May I borrow your phone Jenny? I really need to check something and my batteries dead."
Jenny handed the phone over and Tatiana looked up the Facebook news. The headlines read, "Tatiana Tichy reveals brand new automobile prototype to the world." Along with this was a picture of Tatiana laying back in her company's brand new car prototype while it drives itself. The same car prototype that was being kept secret until the technology convention next month.
The situation called for profanity. Tatiana used some. Jenny gasped at her new friend's language.
....
Tina and a couple of other big girls decided to get in Tatiana's face near the end of lunch and tell her that if she ever acted like that again they were going to beat her up so bad that she'd have to go home in an ambulance. Tatiana delivered kidney shots to each of them and walked over their crumpled bodies.
That was how she got sent to the principals office.
"So what I'm hearing is that a young girl is forbiddent o defend herself when accousted by jackbooted thugs who threaten her with bodily harm?"
"Lola, you need to understand that this is not how little girls are supposed to behave at school. If you are being bullied, you need to come report it to me or a teacher."
"Phooey! You can't be so dense that you've forgotten what its like to be...my age. Bully's only respond to equal agression. If you resort to tattling then you'll be tattling forever."
"Lola, if you attack the other kids then your just as bad as they are."
"That's idiotic. You can't seriously believe that drivel."
The principal did not care for that at all. Which is how Tatiana got detention after school.
.......
"Lola, if you ever want to be ungrounded, you are not doing a good job of earning our sympathy." Said Rita Loud as she drove Tatiana home from school.
Tatiana sat in the back seat with her arms crossed and a black scowl across her face.
"It's no good being in a snit. I know the other kids were probably quite mean to you but you have no one to blame but yourself for being in this situation. Speaking of which, i was not happy with your apology this morning young lady. I honestly wonder if your at all sorry for what you did yesterday."
Tatiana still said nothing. All she could think about was her car prototype. Years of work. Months of secrecy. She was the one who told the board the prototype would be safest in her home. She told them she wanted to have the pleasure of driving it straight to the tech convention. Now, all of her plans were ruined in an instant by a seven year old girl with severe anger managment issues. This could not get any worse.
Or so she thought.
When she walked into the house the dimwitted blonde named Leni was there, beckoning Tatiana upstairs. Leni was wearing a purple dress with a green sash. It was very pretty. So Tatiana didn't see any reason not to pay the compliment.
"I like your dress."
"Thanks, I've been working on it for a while."
"You made this?" Tatiana was amazed, she thought for sure Leni was a typical layabout. A parasite who lived off of her parents and never bothered to learn anything because she didn't feel she had too. But if she could make a dress like this, then Tatiana owed her an apology.
"You know Leni. Not that it's any of my business, but I wonder if a blue sash would look better than a green one? The design is gorgeous, I just think blue would be a better colour to match the purple."
Leni stopped on the stairs and clutched her face in joy. "OMG! Lola! That's totally a great idea. I have a sash thats just the color. I can put it together tommorow. Thank you!"
"It's not a problem. The dress is really well made. May I shake your hand?"
Leni looked a little confused by this, but was so happy she shook Tatiana's hand anyway.
"Anyway. We have to go now Lola. It's time for your intervention."
"Beg your pardon?"
.....
The entire brood of kids was gathered in Lori and Leni's room and it was exactly what Leni described. They had planned an intervention to try and curb Lola's behaviour.
Except Lola wasn't here.
"Guys, I really respect you doing this, but can't we do it tommorrow?"
"No little dude. You went too far this time. We're going to curb that temper of yours if its the last thing we do." Said Luna
"And how do you plan to do that?"
"Lincoln found anger managment excersises online. it was his idea." said the shadow girl who's name Tatiana still couldn't remember. But she remembered Lincoln alright.
"Lincoln. You think you can have some amatuar psyche therapy in your sisters bedroom? And I thought you were clever." Tatiana thought to herself. Out loud, she said, "But I notice one of us is missing? Shouldn't Lana be present if this is a sibling affair?"
"Lana has made her OWN anger management class." Lincoln replied dryly.
.....
Down in the basement, Lana had built an effigy of Lola out of pillows and pink cloth. She was beating the effigy with a baseball bat and biting it like a bulldog.
....
Tatiana was out of options. she had been frustrated all day and this is where it got her. She should have known better. Never feed your emotions.
Now she only had two options. She could either tell these kids to go to hell and either she or Lola will reap the whirlwind in the morning, OR she could play along, and hopefully get something in return.
"Alright dear brother. You want to teach me self control? Show me what you got."
"Uuuuuhhh...ooooookayyyy." Lincoln looked a little nervous.
.....
Tatiana took every lesson they threw at her and passed with flying colors. Now that she had a moment to calm down she was in complete control and schooled the loud siblings in the art of mastering one's emotions. Two hours later, The siblings were speechless.
"Okay, you are LITERALLY messing with us now." said Lori
"Are you the same girl from yesterday?" Asked Lynn in disbelief
Tatiana smiled.
"The Rhythm of your heart is like a white light. It shines above me as I walk alone in the dark." Quoted Luna
"Ah, Alistair Haley. Great artist." Said Tatiana with admiration.
"Dude, that was from Shadow Dancer, By Goat Cheese Pizza." Luna laughed
"No. It was from Alistair Haley. Jazz Musician. It was from his song Blind Love. Composed in 1927."
"Lola, I have the song. It was written by Luke Shetland in 1998."
"Then Mr Shetland is either a filthy plagerist or he was "Paying homage" to a great artist. Those lyrics are exactly the same. Blind Love. look it up."
"Dude! Since when do you know anything about jazz?"
Tatiana shrugged. She loved jazz. she wasn't about to let some Rock and Roll nobody tarnish a brilliant man. No matter how suspicious it looked.
"Well guys, i'm beat. I think I'll turn in early and get my beauty sleep." Tatiana yawned
"Kids! Dinners ready!" Shouted Mr Loud
"My god....will this day never end?" Tatiana muttered.
.....
dinner was quite good. Nowhere near Tatiana's own cooking but definatly satisfactory. Ovver the course of the meal she had been situated beside Luan Loud and forced to hear dozens of god awful jokes while she ate. But Tatiana learned her lesson. She kept control of her emotions and fought through the jokes to learn a few things about Luan
Luan and some of her friends had been invited to perform at a fancy restaurant for over an hour and was trying to plan what jokes she should perform. Tatiana offered the idea of a sketch comedy routine. That had traditionally gone over very well at the San Francisco pubs that she had attended. Luan seemed very intrigued by the idea.
And Tatiana had made friends with two of the louds siblings.
She then went straight upstairs. Did lola's homework in ten minutes (Just in case she hadn't switched back by morning) and finally went to bed.
....
And when she woke up, Tatiana was back in her own body and fell off of her couch. She had never been so happy to see herself in the mirror.
The first thing she did was pour a glass of beer and chug it down. Then she poured the rest down the drain. She had made a promise that she would never drink before ten in the morning and even though she was making an allowance, she wasn't going to be tempted to finish the bottle.
Then she took stock of the damage.
In her room were piles of clothes in shopping bags.
Her cell phone had fallen under her bed, with the screen showing she had fifty seven messages on it.
But the worst part was down in the kitchen, where she saw a bouquet of flowers on her table, all of them looked like they had been chopped at the stem with a weed Wacker.
She rushed up to the plant room and found the whole place reorganized. Some of the pots had been knocked over. Valuable plants had been butchered to make that bouquet.
"LOLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
.....
Twelve hours later...
"Hello Lola, did you have fun yesterday?"
Tatiana sat at her kitchen table with a bottle of beer in her hand and the cell phone at her ear. Her eye was twitching ever so slightly with murderous rage.
The voice on the other end of the phone said, "I'm sorry, there's no one here named Lola. You must have dialed the wrong number."
"Well that's strange because this is the phone number on Lola's business card. The one that she posted on her website. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that she's a pageant queen, she's certainly cute enough for such a thing."
"I'm sorry but you have the wrong number. Please hang up and try-"
"Okay, I will. And if I don't get Lola I'll try the house phone number. That one I was able to find out yesterday."
Tatiana hung up and took a swig of beer. After thirty seconds her phone rang.
"Hello?"
"Hi. Um...this is Lola Loud."
"Hello Lola. How are you? Pretty tired from all that shopping?"
"Yeah. He-he. Look, um..."
"So how did you do it?"
"Uh..."
"Switch our bodies around. Cute trick. You practice witchcraft in your spare time?"
"No. Actually. I don't know what happened either."
"Well you must have done something Lola. Maybe you tripped over a pot of gold by accident."
"Ha-Ha. Look, all I did was make a birthday wish."
"Aw, you wished you could be me for a day? I'm flattered."
"Alright lady. Listen up! My wish had nothing to do with you yesterday, so don't get all high and-"
"Shut up." Tatiana barely raised her voice but she put so much hate into the word that Lola was silenced instantly. "I have been falsly arrested three times in my life. Once was in moscow. Except it wasn't so much an arrest as a kidnapping. They wanted me to give them information that would have made a certain group of people very rich. I once had my office firebombed by terrorists WHILE I was at work. I even caught malaria on a charity drive in south america. So when I say that the last two days have been the WORST EXPERIANCE OF MY LIFE, I think you can agree THAT is QUITE AN ACCOMPLISHMENT!!!" Tatiana spat with rage.
"While was stuck in ELEMENTARY school, being bullied and ridiculed by the people YOU victimized, You drove an expensive prototype car in broad daylight for all to see and ruined a big announcement my company was planning to make, in the process making ME look stupid in front of my investors. You spent more than three thousand dollars of my money on a shopping trip and wrote checks using your name, making me look like a criminal, and an INCOMPETANT one at that. I missed three important meetings yesterday. I have had reporters and tabloids calling me all day wanting an explanation about my behavior. My board of directors has called an emergency meeting to discuss the future of my company. And...my plants. You...went into the plant room."
"So? I didn't break anything. Well, except that one pot."
"Lola. I only get one or two hours of time for myself each day. I insist on those two hours because people are not machines. I need some me time. Adults need time to play as well. Those plants are my pride and joy. I spent a long time collecting and maintaining them. Each one is worth a lot of money. They are the thing I look forward too during my waking hours at the office. And you... cut them all up at random...and smashed them together in a vase... broke FOUR of my pots and killed the plants inside. And you...touched....everything."
"Well...I...I thought-"
"You thought what?"
"I thought I was in the future. I thought the mansion was mine and...you were what I was going to be when I grew up. I thought the plants were mine."
Tatiana erupted in laughter and said, "Oh, you silly girl. You couldn't be me if you lived to be a hundred. You thought you were in the future!? Did you not see what everyone else was driving? HAVE YOU NO SENSE!!?"
"Oh YEAH!? Well what did you do in MY body huh? Roxie doesn't want to be my friend anymore. Jenny thinks we're pals. My family thinks I'm nuts. And...And..."
"I aced your geography test and got the kids at school off your back. Don't mess with me kid. YOU are a spoiled, selfish little hobgoblin and I actually had the nerve to do you a favor. Oh, and I know all about your little birthday tantrum you psycho. No wonder they hate you. But living in a barnyard family like that, i guess I shouldn't be surprised. I've never seen such a circus. Between Luans terrible comedy, Lisa's explosions and Lynn bouncing off the walls its amazing the whole lot of you aren't insane! Now TELL ME WHAT YOU DID!"
There was no answer. Tatiana could only hear breathing through the phone.
"Now you listen to me child. I know where you live. And I have my own private plane that can take me wherever I want to go. You are going to tell me everything you did that day or I'm going to board that plane, I will fly to Michigan, I will come to your house and-"
"And you'll what?" came the voice of Rita loud through the phone. "Who is this? How did you get my daughters phone number?"
Tatiana almost dropped the phone in shock.
"Is this what you do in your spare time? You call children and threaten them? You sick twisted fuck. I'm jotting down your number. If you ever call again I'm reporting you to the police. Get a life."
The line went dead. Tatiana stared at the phone in her hand and burst into hysterical laughter.
"Nice move Lola. Very nice move. I did not see that coming. But you will pay for it you little wretch. You will pay...."
.....
Rita handed the phone back to her daughter.
"If she calls again, you tell me right away. Don't talk to people like that. Okay sweetie?"
"Okay mommy."
After her mom left the room, Lola began to snicker to herself.
She felt kind of bad that she got Tatiana in so much trouble but that lady shouldn't have gone off on Lola's family. It was one thing for her to complain about them but for a total stranger to say those things was not going to fly. Now, Lola could care less about Ms. Tichy. She blocked Tatiana's phone number.
"Goodbye forever." She said with finality.
.....
Will this be the end of the story?
Will Tatiana and Lola switch bodies again?
Stay tuned.
The above music references are not real people or albums.
Hope you all enjoy this chapter.