Chapter 17
Zane’s POV
I hated how civil she was with everyone but me. it was as if the world was working against me right now. the pull towards her was hard enough to fight when she wasn’t hating me or simply looking at me with emotionless faces when I look at her.
It was Tuesday morning and I was already ready to go and crawl back into bed. We were the only two sitting at the table eating breakfast. But she did her best to avoid looking at me, she would look at anything other than me while I just stared at her the whole time. I don’t know what was going through her mind last night when she saw me and Derek with Cassidy and Claire but I hope I didn’t make anything worse for me. Cassidy just keeps throwing herself at me, I don’t want to be rude about it but I wasn’t going to give into any of her ‘ways’.
“Did you want a ride to school this morning?” I cleared my throat and asked awkwardly. “No thanks” was her simple answer. Derek had to go early to see the principal about some class changes and she had to get a ride with someone. “Who are you going with?” I asked. “I don’t know” she wasn’t completely ignoring me but she was trying her best to end whatever conversation I was trying to start.
“have you seen Kyle or Sean around?” I asked, I haven’t seen them last night yet and maybe she would know. “Nope”. “Marissa your killing me here could you just give me a civil answer here, I don’t see why we have to act like this.” I sighed. I know I said some things I didn’t mean but did she have to hold everything against me?
I told her we couldn’t be together and that’s when it started, after I took her out that day. she at least talked to me, but when we rode together in the morning to school and I let some words slip, well after that she was just completely cold to me. why do I even care so much? I don’t want a mate but why am I trying so hard for her? that was one question I keep asking myself that I don’t know the answer too.
“Act like what? We aren’t even friends Zane, we’re nothing.” I flinched a little at her answer, she was throwing everything I said back in my face. About how I didn’t love her and that we couldn’t be together.
“I don’t want to keep acting like this can we please just try and get over that? I said some things I didn’t mean yesterday and I think it’s better off that we just stay friends in each other’s lives.” She didn’t respond to that, he simply picked up her bowl and put it in the sink. “you have to get a ride with me, none of us has seen Kyle or Sean all morning and I'm the only person that hasn’t left yet” I said with a satisfied smirk on my face. That means I get an extra ten or fifteen minutes to talk to her, depending on how slow I drive.
“No thanks I can walk” I stood up from the table and walked over to where she was. “Am I that bad that you would rather walk to school in the morning and be later than ride with me?” I asked angrily in her face. She looked a little surprised at my actions but I was done playing around. I’ve been trying to fix this and she’s just giving me the cold shoulder.
I want some kind of reaction, no scratch that I want a happy reaction to something I’ve said. she was pressed against the counter and I was in front of her, blocking her from walking away from me.
“What's going on here?” said a calm voice from behind me. I looked over my shoulder to see john, her stupid trainer that I heard nothing about. “Can you give me a ride to school this morning everyone already left” Marissa asked. Incredible! She asks him for a ride but would rather walk than ride with me.
“Sure I’ll b down in a minute let me just get some clothes on” he said before walking off. I didn’t miss how her eyes followed his shirtless chest as he walked away. I growled lowly making her turn her attention back to me. “Don’t test me Marissa” I growled at her. I was slowly losing my control with her. I wanted nothing more than to be civil to each other and she acts like this.
Marissa was strong, she didn’t break down completely after the rejection and she didn’t run away like girls from other packs that I heard about. No, she stayed right here and stuck it out. Slowly things started to get better for her but things just got worse for me.
Was it a bad thing to want her at times? “Can you move? I have to go now” she said shoving at my chest but getting nowhere. I could see the frustration in her eyes directed straight at me but I couldn’t bring myself to move. I simply stood my ground and stared into her eyes.
Eventually she stopped fighting me and we simply stared at each other. Soaking in the details that we cant have. I noticed how her long black hair flowed down her back in gentle waves and how her brown eyes sparkled with mystery yet hurt. Her body wasn’t like everyone else, it wasn’t skinny and she didn’t wear revealing clothing. Instead she had that little amount of curves that looked just right on her and she was comfortable in her own skin. She wore what she felt like and didn’t care what anyone thought about it, that’s my Marissa. The one girl I would respect no matter what because she didn’t let anything get to her, she just kept on being herself.
I probably looked broken though, because for the past couple days I have been. I can’t make up my mind and I can’t figure out what I want. the thought of her was so tempting that I was ready to push everything aside for her. but in some cases I would be better off without a mate. I really don’t know. I don’t know how to go at this. But right now her lips looked so temping as I stared into her beautiful sparkling eyes. I leaned down, inching closer to her.
“Ok ready to go Marissa?” I groaned as she pushed against me, making me stumble back. I was a inch away from her, from kissing me mate. I don’t know whether that is a good thing or a bad thing. She shook her head, she looked like she was trying to clear her mind, all of a sudden a frustrated look came over her face as she nodded at John and walked away with him, not even giving me another glance.
Marissa’s POV
I spaced out the whole ride with John. I couldn’t even think straight, what if john hadn’t stopped us? I would have kissed him and I'm mad at myself for giving into that. I should have more strength than that, after everything I was going not going to give in so easy. I was better than that.
We pulled up at the school and I looked over at John, he was looking at me as if he was trying to figure something out. “thanks for the ride” I mumbled, snapping him out of his thoughts. “no problem” he flashed me a quick smile before I walked out of his car. I noticed how Zane’s car pulled in the parking lot just as I stepped in. he wasn’t to far behind us or course.
I nodded a John and gave him a smile. he returned it and pulled away. I pulled out my phone and texted Sean and Kyle again. This is going to be the second day that they’ve basically disappeared without letting anyone know. Well maybe someone does but I don’t and they should have told me if they were going anywhere.
A minute later my phone dinged with a text message. Finally! I pulled it out and it showed one new message from Kyle. ‘Sorry Marissa this is the first time I’ve gotten to use my phone. Yesterday the alpha had me and Sean go to the council to send in some information, he made Sean come along so he could get the hang of things. And since I am the next beta in line he sent me instead of my dad. We’re going to be back in a couple more days, sorry again. I’ll try and call you when I can’
A frown appeared on my face but I understood that he couldn’t really do anything about that, an alpha’s order is a order. I slung my bag over my shoulder and started walking towards the school. I had nearly no one to talk to today so I guess it’s going to be me myself and i.
I walked into my first period class without another sign of Zane, which was a good thing. I expected him to come and harass me for this morning, but no he just let it go. He probably doesn’t want to be seen talking to me anyway, after all I'm not nearly good enough for him.
I walked into class with a clear mind and right into my seat. I just had to pay attention and that would keep my thoughts from drifting elsewhere. I watched as the teacher walked in and started her lesson but my mind just wasn’t in it. I couldn’t focus, I just kept looking around the class room. Zane was in my next class and I found my thoughts going towards him instead. What happened this morning? And more importantly why was he about to let that happen? He himself said he didn’t want me as a mate and he confirmed his words not to long ago.
The bell rang signaling an end to this horrific period. I got up with a sigh and made my way towards the next class. So far this had to be the most boring and agitated day of school. I was wishing for winter already, it was my favourite season and it was almost here. Not to mention Christmas.
I walked into class and instantly scanned the room for Zane but when I caught him I saw that he was already looking at me. for once he was sitting alone and wasn’t surrounded by one of his friends. I didn’t break eye contact as I took a seat on the other side of the class room. by now I would have usually looked away but I feel like he needs to be the one to back down first. I don’t really know what we’re trying to find but I want to keep looking at him, into his eyes.
As if I can try and find the answer to everything in there. He got up from his seat and moved two closed to me, so that there was only one desk between us, but that was probably because there was already a backpack placed on the seat, so it was taken.
Just as the girl came and sat down between us Zane leaned over and whispered something in her ear. She instantly grabbed her bag and moved to a different seat and he moved over one so he was now beside me.
How did he get her to move? I had a confused look on my face which he just smirked at, she wasn’t in our pack so he had no control over her but he didn’t have a problem with making her do what he wanted her too.
I looked away from Zane and back up to where the teacher now was. he started talking something about history but all I heard nothing. I just stared up at the front and zoned out in my thoughts. What did he want with me? why was he doing this? And what am I to him why does he keep trying? A thousand questions kept going through my mind but I had to answer to none of them.
And I don’t assume things because most of the time I'm wrong and it just makes the situation I'm in worse. I wish Kyle or Sean was here today so I wouldn’t have to be alone with my thoughts, but mostly Kyle because I could tell him everything.
I felt something hit my shoulder. I looked down to see a crumpled piece of paper sitting on my desk. I looked up at Zane to see him looking at me and pointing towards the paper. I gave him a cold look before picking it up and reading it.
‘What are you thinking so hard about?’
It was as if he could read my facial expressions. But he doesn’t know me that well, no one really does. My parents weren’t around to get to know me, my brother and me didn’t have the best of relationships to start off with and I didn’t have any close friends.
It was only now I was starting to get some sort of a social life. I picked up my pen and replied back.
‘none of your business’
That was the nicest was I could tell him where to shove it without being rude. Like he cared, he was just most likely bored.
When the piece of paper hit me again it was at the wrong time. The teacher had just turned around and looked at us. I left it there and pretended not to know anything about it. “is there some not passing in my class?” his voice boomed out serious and mean.
“No sir I don’t know where that came from” I answered and looked down at the paper, praying he would just believe me and not come over and read it. Zane was looking up at the teacher but the teacher saw him throw it at me. “do I have the word idoit plastered on my forehead Marissa?” I hated the way he spat my name out of his mouth like it was a disgusting word to say,
I have never give him any problems before so I don’t see why he has to go off on me like this but it was only fueling my annoyed mood. “No but that doesn’t me people cant see that you are” I shot back. everyone turned their head in my direction giving me a surprised look.
I was done bull shitting around, I felt like standing up for myself for once. my anger needed to come out on someone. Mr. Faye – the teacher stormed over to my desk and tried to grab the paper but I darted my hand out and grabbed it before he could.
“I don’t think this is yours so you shouldn’t be touching it” I stuffed it in my pocket and looked at him. his face was red with anger and I could tell he wanted nothing more than to let a string of curses at me.
“This is my class and this was happening during my class. Hand me the note” he demanded. “I don’t listen to people who demand things rudely so no thanks” I averted my eyes from him and looked over at Zane who was looking at me as if I grew another head.
I gave him a smirk and looked back at the teacher who was now looking between me and Zane. “one hour of detention for both of you after school” and with that he stormed back up and began teaching his lesson.
Did I just get Zane detention? Eh well he started it so he shouldn’t be complaining. I looked over at him and he didn’t seem to look angry, mostly just surprised and amused.
The rest of the day was simply boring, I had no Sean and Kyle to amuse me so I was forced to do work and let my thoughts wonder. As the final bell rang I started walking back to mr. Faye’s class for my detention. I still don’t regret a thing thought, that’s what he get’s for being so rude to everyone and thinking just because it’s his class that he can do whatever he wants.
But as I was walking a hand grabbed my wrist loosely and pulled me back. I turned around and jumped in surprise at the sudden contact. It was one of Zane’s friends Claire, the stupid girl that was all over my brother last night.
“What do you want” I said rudely, I was not in the mood to deal with stupid stuck up people who think they can do whatever the hell they wanted too. ‘I just wanted to tell you to stop throwing yourself at Zane it’s starting to look a little desperate” she said in a snooty tone with her mouth twisted in a snare.
“and where did you get that idea from?” I asked somewhat amused, if anything it was the other way around but you know how people are around here, he’s the popular one and I was the loser girl that didn’t talk to a lot of people. So they assumed I was obsessed with him or something.
“Well everyone pretty much heard about the detention thing and how you got him in trouble so you could be in detention with him for an extra hour, I mean it’s sort of pathic” she sneered. I wasn’t even mad at any of this because I knew it was basically all bull.
“Maybe you should start getting your gossip from someone else” I suggested before walking away, not looking back to see her reaction. Because I didn’t really care, I just wanted to get this hour over with so I could go home and relax for the day.
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the uploads a bit late becuase i've gotten a bit busy but it's all good now. vote and comment please!
Next upload will be monday or tuesday