4: O
I was in the Hospital Wing for two days, bedridden. Within the six hours that was the train ride, my immune system had been so aggressively attacking James' blood that my WBC borrowed holes into the lining of my lungs.
Within a day, the entire summer of healing was undone, and James and I were extremely upset.
I insisted that Madam Pomfrey not tell my parents about this, as they'd force me to be admitted to St. Mungo's, so she sent them an Owl, telling them that I had gotten a bit worse, but was alright after a fresh transfusion, using Sirius' blood.
During breakfast on the third day back at Hogwarts, my first day out of the Wing, Dumbledore made an announcement.
"I apologize for having to interrupt your breakfast, but I have an important request. One of your fellow classmates, a fifth-year Gryffindor named Jemina Potter, has an auto-immune disease - which is not contagious - that causes her immune system to instruct white blood cells to attack themselves, thinking that they are invaders. The current treatment plan for this is blood transfusions, as her immune system only attacks her own blood. She has type A blood, so she can receive type A, and type O. Due to a lack of blood in our own storage, we will be holding a blood drive every semester - not only for Miss Potter, but because accidents happen often, and we don't have enough blood to help if someone needed it. We would especially like anyone with a blood type of O to donate - as it is the universal donor.
"It is absolutely not required, but it would extremely helpful. There will be a sign-up sheet on the boards in your Common Rooms, anyone who is on there by the end of the week will have a permission slip sent to their parents. Thank you, very much, and you may return to your breakfast."
I snorted, shaking my head. "He could've done that without announcing to the entire school that I was sick."
Lily snorted from beside me and nodded in agreement, "Prepare to get asked ten hundred questions a day, Jem."
I rolled my eyes as I sighed. After glancing down the table, I continued to eat.
The boys were sitting a few people down from us, Lily had wanted to sit with her friends from 6th Year, and wanted me to sit next to her.
"What's going on with you and Sirius? He hasn't left your side until this morning." She asked, turning her body towards me and whispering.
"Nothing is going on, he's worried about my health and doesn't care about classes this early in the year. I wish he didn't have that mindset, but, you know," I shrugged as I glanced down the table once more. As soon as I turned back, I choked, instinctively coughing. Immediately, Lily put a hand on my arm, while James and Sirius looked up the table at us. "It was just a piece of a roll, calm down."
"I don't believe you," I furrowed my brows. "About Sirius. I see the way he looks at you - he fancies you."
"No, he doesn't. He cares about me, but it doesn't go that deeply," I lied. "He's the Lily to my James, except I am not a git."
The few times that Sirius and I were alone were spent talking to one another about us. What we wanted in the future, what we needed, and how we wanted to handle a relationship.
We both agreed that while we want to be in one, it's truly best if it's secret for now. In addition to a certainty of being teased, neither of us wanted anyone to believe that Sirius was taking advantage of my weak state. We both knew that with our young age, no one would truly think that, but I wanted to be certain nobody could even fathom it.
We were going to take it slowly, even if Sirius was seen as a player. Right now, all I needed, and all I wanted, was someone I could truly tell everything to. And I knew Sirius was the only one who could be that right now. James was too reactive with me, too protective and worried to be objective. James was too much of a big brother to listen to me rant about how frustrating all of the extra measures my parents made my promise to take. He was on their side when it came to my health, and I understood. I needed more than just Lily, and since James couldn't be that, it was between Remus - who had too much on his plate already - and Sirius.
I chose to burden Sirius with my innermost problems.
"But the thing is, even right now, he's staring at you, and if he wasn't chewing food, I'm certain he'd be drooling over you. Jem, he fancies you. He just might not want to pursue it because you're so..."
"Fragile," I said. She nodded sheepishly. "You're right. If he does, he's not going to pursue it. I'm not in any state to get into a serious thing."
She giggled and I rolled my eyes. I turned towards him, catching his eyes. He smiled despite chewing on bacon, the corners of his eyes crinkling.
I could've swooned.
"See! You look at him the same way!" She quietly exclaimed. "You guys are practically meant to be."
"I could say the same for you and James, but you know what you'd say to me?" I turned towards her and raised an eyebrow.
"Never in a million years... unless he stopped being such a douche." She blushed. My eyes widened and my jaw dropped.
"Lily Evans, do you have a crush on my brother?"
"No! He's cute, and funny, but he's a jerk. I could never even think of dating him if he's always this childish," Lily exclaimed. She smiled softly. "However, you have no reason to refrain from pursuing Sirius."
"I do, Lily."
"What reason is that, Jemina?" Lily said, sighing. "You're genuinely just making excuses at this point."
"What if I died?"
Her face dropped, immediately biting her lip.
It was true, and I made it clear to Sirius, who acted like I'd murdered his puppy. I couldn't commit to anyone with my health being so poor - I'd be a miserable ghost, haunting the halls of Hogwarts, if I died and left someone behind who loved me - other than my family.
"You're not going to die, Jem." Lily looked extremely upset.
"I probably won't, but I can't commit to someone, knowing that there's an increased risk of my death on the table. I couldn't handle the idea of falling in love, and then dying. I can't handle the idea of the increased pain he'd go through. It would be bad enough if I had died the other day - being a close friend, but if he was in love with me? I can't do that to anyone, Lily." I tilted my head, frowning and furrowing my brows. Her eyes watered as she gnawed on her cheek.
"I understand," She said quietly. "I'll talk the boys into dropping the bet - at least until you're healthier."
"You guys are bloody ridiculous," I smiled. "Besides, you and Biscuit are enough for me."
Lily smiled, but I saw the sadness behind it.
My first day of classes went by as well as expected. I sat between Remus and James during lunch, and then between James and Lily during dinner. By the time we got to the Common room to hang out for a while, I was extremely tired.
As expected, Sirius and Peter immediately went to the sign-up sheet. Since Lily's blood was incompatible with mine, we told her that if she wanted to donate, she could, but I wouldn't be using any - and Remus has too much anxiety about the wolf in his own veins to donate - so I told him not to.
Sirius literally put his name at the top of the list, above the actual first name, and Peter had to flip two pages before he got to an opening. My heart swelled as Sirius sat next to me on the loveseat.
I leaned my back against him, breathing deeply.
"I'm exhausted," I mumbled. "It's been a long day."
"You have to get used to this again, Jem," Lily said quietly. "And about earlier, it's cute either way."
I rolled my eyes, and I felt Sirius chuckle. He leaned his mouth towards my ear. "She's so observant."
I closed my eyes and nodded the slightest bit.
"You're cute," I retorted to Lily. "Not as cute as Biscuit though."
I heard her snort. I could hear the smile and the heat in her cheeks in the snort.
I fell asleep against Sirius, but I woke up in my dorm room.
Lily turned towards me as she heard me rustling in my bed. "McGonagall removed the charm for James and Sirius specifically. I think she got tired of being woken in the early morning."
"Oh, that's good," I said as I rolled over. "Did you feed Biscuit?"
"Yes, I fed him a while ago. Now I'm just reviewing your notes on Transfiguration."
"Why mine? Is there something wrong with them?" I asked turning to look at her for a moment.
"No, your notes are always more detailed than mine."
"Oh, okay."
I turned back, closing my eyes and pulling my covers around my neck.
"Goodnight, Jemina."
"Goodnight, Lily."