I viewed the landscape, the sun drenched streets with ice cream coloured houses transitioning to less vibrant houses and eventually to grubby apartments. The quiet streets changed to the busy and noisy streets of the market. My ears pricked from the overlapping voices of the shopkeepers and the consumers. The restaurants were more compact and cheap here, the people more loud and excited.
My mum wanted to bargain for groceries even though there were much nicer convenient stores near our house. She had said that the fruits and vegetables were more fresh here and she was probably right. Anyway, I had got an easy ride to Logan's apartment which was exactly in the middle of this chaos.
I told my mum to drop me off few steps away from Logan's apartment since I didn't want to get her worried about the condition of the building. It looked like it would collapse by the next blow of wind. I entered the lift which still produced the helicopter like sounds and had a strong stench of bleach. I tried to control my nausea and pressed the twelfth floor button.
The elevator door shook as it opened with difficulty. Nevertheless, it hadn't killed me yet. Sighing in relief, I arrived at Logan's room and saw Marilyn emerge out with a cup in her hand. Noticing me, her crimson coloured lips curved into a small smile. She lifted the cup up, gesturing to it. "Needed a cup of sugar."
"Oh nice . . . How are . . . " Before I could finish my sentence, she had already brushed past me. "Bye Marilyn."
"Bye kid," she said, a rueful look on her face. I probably reminded her of Shaun, I could see the pained expression on her face. I wondered when she went back to her mother like she had once said.
I shrugged off my thoughts and knocked on Logan's door. He opened almost immediately with a boyish grin, his adorable dimples showing. His hair was poking in different directions and his eyes were gleaming like emeralds. He grabbed my hand and roughly pulled me in, slamming the door shut.
"Oh you barbaric beast!" I giggled as he lifted me up and peppered light kisses on my face. "You make me feel like a puppy."
"Certainly a cute one," he said mischievously, kissing my nose. "Do you want something to eat?"
"Oh what's on the menu? Wait, wait, wait, let me guess. Mac and cheese?"
"You don't need to remind me how poor I am Joy," he remarked without any hint of bitterness. "There is mac and cheese, loads of them. Mac and cheese pizza, mac and cheese sandwich---"
"Okay, okay, I would like only a glass of water. I don't feel like eating. Come, let's watch a movie." I dragged him across his room and plopped down on his bed, retrieving a laptop from my bag. "Which movie do you want to watch?"
I scrolled through Netflix and took a glimpse of Logan, only to find him ogling at me instead of the screen.
I punched his shoulder and insisted, "Tell me which movie?"
"You decide," he said, a naughty smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "I'm happy sitting here and watching you all day."
"God, stop being corny." I rolled my eyes, ignoring the quivering feeling of my body. "For the first time, I'm not able to decide for others."
Logan plucked the laptop out of my hands and randomly clicked on a Brazilian drama called 'The Way He Looks.' I sat beside him and he enclosed me in his arms, letting me rest my head on his shoulder. The movie was sweet as we both comfortably watched, commenting our predictions and rejoicing when they were right.
"Logan . . . How's your college?" I asked, to distract him since the main character in the movie was trying to masturbate.
Logan's cheeks flamed as he tore his gaze from the screen. "It's going well. Far better than high school."
"You're still planning to go to the university after this right?" I asked eagerly.
"I don't know . . . "
"What do you mean you don't know?" I didn't mean to panic like that, but noticing the dubious look on his face and the odd way he had been behaving these past few days, I was concerned about him.
His gaze momentarily flickered to his phone and then to me. "I just . . . I don't know . . ."
His replies terrified me and I thrusted my face close to him, my eyes boring into his. "Logan, you're going to make something of yourself and for this, you're going to the university. You had dreams and plans and I don't want you to be stuck in this apartment forever. You deserve far better, at least better than a death when this building is going to collapse on you."
"Alright." He smiled cheerfully at me, trying to convince me by putting on a jovial façade. "I'll go to the university and get out of this apartment."
"You mean that?"
"Of course Joy." He planted a feather like kiss on the top of my head before diverting his attention back to the movie as if dodging my inquisitive look.
I didn't know if Logan was persuaded or not, but at least the masturbation scene was over.
The movie was pleasant with a happy ending which satisfied us greatly. Logan placed the laptop away and slid down the bed, quietly pulling me with him. I laid with his arms wrapped below my breasts and his legs tangled with mine which made me blush a beet red. I snuggled closer to him when a puff of wind blew in our room. I pressed my back against his warm front, the heat of his body coursing through me. We turned towards the balcony and peered out of the open doors, observing the wonderful world.
"Did you make friends?" My voice wavered when I felt his hot breath on my neck. He only hummed in response. "How many?"
"Many," he said hoarsely which made me shudder.
I did affect him that way. "Is there any girl you like?"
He chuckled- the sound so pure and contagious which made me bite back my own smile. "No Joy, you're the only one."
"Ah well, I'm flattered." I felt his body vibrate with soft laughter.
He buried his face in the crook of my neck, his dark hair tickling my ear. His right hand travelled down and down slowly and I froze in delicious excitement and fear. What was he doing? Before I could cover the tiny exposed part of my stomach with my top, his long fingers settled over my naked flesh. He silently drew small circles below my navel, his fingers cool like marble which soothed the fire in me. I relaxed, letting out a shaky breath I didn't know I was holding.
The fleecy, white clouds hung low in the light blue sky and the golden sun steadily slunk down. The horizon turned blood orange. We watched as the sky changed colours more efficiently and beautifully than people ever did without crippling anyone's trust. The shades of orange and blue now became purple with pink toned clouds. These clouds chased each other as a black bird sporadically soared in between them. We saw the sun completely vanish from our sight and leave a bare midnight blue sky with small glittering stars scattered haphazardly. The void space in our hearts grew, reminding us of each person we had lost, each person who had left their small, precious parts with us. A queer sort of contentment washed over us when we accepted that feeling of loss instead of fighting it.
Logan held me tightly and fiercely as if letting me know that he was still ready to fight and not submit. I sighed in his arms, letting him know that I was done and happy with the way life was going. Death had captured me and the shackles had cracked my limbs long ago.
"I'll fight for you," he whispered vehemently with open honesty and I almost cried with happiness. He was going to continue living, continue fighting. No matter the amount of hindrances, he was in it to live.
"I'm glad Logan." I stared at the waning moon and closed my eyes in peace.
I nodded absently when Logan asked me out on a date, his faint murmurs a lullaby for me to drift into a deep slumber.