Red Nation: Chapter 35
(A/N Vanessa's Point Of View might seem like it's a lot more mature for her, considering her age. I'm well aware of it but it's just for the purpose of this chapter.)
~The Next Day~
~Vanessa P.O.V.~
"Vanessa, wake up. You need to go get ready." Grandma said as she softly tapped my arm.
"I don't want to Grandma." I sighed, burying my face deep into the pillow. I wish I had ran away when Isabella left 2 nights ago. I didn't want to be here, I wanted to be at my real home.
"I know it's hard. It's hard for everyone but you need to get ready so I can do your hair. Get up Vanessa." I nodded my head and heard her footsteps make their way out of the room till the door closed.
My eyes stung and were always bloodshot. My nose is rubbed raw from using tissues and walking around with tear stains on my cheeks was my new style. My throat is swollen and dry from all the heaving and screaming. I kept this room dark, I didn't want the sunlight burning my eyes.
I got out of bed and grabbed my towel off my closet door and made my way to the bathroom. I wish Isabella was here with me so I didn't feel so alone at Grandma and Grandpa's but she said she couldn't be here anymore and left.
I turned the knob for the hot water and while it was warming up, I looked in the mirror and undid my braid. I smiled at the memory when Daddy would try to braid my hair but would complain that I had too much hair.
The mirror was starting to fog up so I stepped into the shower and feeling the hot water burn my skin, took my mind off the real pain I was going through. I saw red blotches along my arms but ignored them.
***
"I want to wear the red bandana." I said to Grandma as she was curling my hair. I liked when Isabella would curl my hair, she did the really pretty curls, not like what Grandma did.
"Why?"
"Because Daddy always wore his." I held my red bandana in my hands and smiled. "Daddy would wrap it around my nose and mouth, just like his and we'd pretend we were outlaws when we went to Aunty Nelle and Uncle Lexi's house, when they were on their honeymoon and we'd play in the barn." How Daddy would lift me up so I could sit on or pet the horses too. That was always fun.
"I know you two had so many memories together. Hold onto those memories. You can wear your bandana too, let me put it in your hair." I nodded and handed her the bandana. She wrapped it like a headband but kept my curled bangs on the outside while the rest of my hair was kept behind my shoulders. "Go grab your sweater and I'll meet you in the car." She said.
I went back to my room and grabbed my sweater before walking out the car and sitting in the backseat, patiently waiting.
***
We arrived at the mortuary so we could see Daddy one last time before he was taken to the church for the ceremony.
I stepped out of the car and felt someone grab my hand.
"Hey 'Nessa." Uncle Arlie said with a smile as he crouched down to my level and gave me a hug.
"Hi Uncle Arlie." He let me go but still held my hand. "Have you seen Isabella?"
"She's already here. She's sitting with Trey." I nodded my head and we started walking into the building.
All eyes were on me.
"You want to see your Dad one last time?" What about Mommy?
"Yes." I said with a small nod. As we kept getting closer to the casket, I could feel my tears welling up in my eyes. Uncle Arlie let go of my hand and I hopped up onto the step.
I looked down and saw Daddy.
Tears were racing down my cheeks to where my vision was blurry. His hands were rested on a small box with a rosary around his fingers. He looked like he was asleep, like as if I could just poke his cheek and watch his eyes open up and smile when he saw me.
"I w-wish you'd wake up Daddy." I said softly, as if whispering to him. He looked paler than how he was.
"I'm so sorry Vanessa." Breezy said when he gave me a hug.
"Why is he holding a box?" I asked as I wiped away my tears.
"Your Mom's ashes are in the box and he has the box over his heart because he loved your Mom." He said with a sigh.
"I want him to just wake up." I said looking back down at him. I put my hand on his but pulled back when I was greeted with how ice cold his hand was.
"We all do Vanessa. I have a tissue for you, if you need it." He said handing me the square. "I'll let you have your time with him." He said before walking back to everyone else.
I spent about 10 minutes just telling him things I wish I had gotten the chance to tell him. I reached over the casket and gave him a kiss on his cheek.
"I love you Daddy."
I rested my hand on the box. "And I love you too Mommy." I hopped off the step and walked over to the rest of my family.
Everyone was in black and red, bandanas folded neatly and in the pocket square of their suits. Naturally I went over to Isabella and hopped onto her lap.
"Did you have your final moments?" She asked me through her tears. I nodded my head and buried my face in her blonde hair. "It's okay Vanessa. Just remember, he's at peace and he's always with us." She just held me close.
She wasn't as sad about Mommy. If anything she had anger towards her. I don't understand why though? They were both shot so why is Isabella mad at Mommy? I figured there was more to the story but they didn't tell me.
~Isabella P.O.V.~
I hated my mother. I'm not even going to call her that. I hated Riley.
She took away Dad. I could handle the divorce but this was just too much.
Orphaned.
Abandoned.
An After Thought.
Those were the words that came to my mind when I think about what happened.
My last moments with my parents was spent arguing with them. That's what I remember my parents by, the last argument we had. I didn't even get to apologize, it was too late before I could suck up my pride and just apologize to them.
Instead I slammed my door and screamed in a fit because I didn't get what I wanted and now I feel awful for it.
I can't live with my Grandparents. They only add stress to me and make me feel more awful for my mistakes and that's why I just left. I went off to Tavian's and am staying there till I turn 18.
***
We were now at the actual cemetery. The casket was just waiting to be lowered down 6 feet below our feet. Everyone else had left except for Uncle Huey, Lexis, Arlie, Varo, Chewy, Marcus, BV, Jay, and Vince. Sage was there too, while Vanessa and Aunt Sweets were standing over by me, under the shade the tree provided us.
How could they all be standing around there and not cry?
"Why aren't they crying?" I asked Sweets who was holding Vanessa in her lap as she cried.
"Your Dad was really strong. He wouldn't want any of his brothers shedding tears over him." She said, wiping away her own tears. "I figured your Aunts from your Dad's 'direct' family wouldn't be here to watch this." She said with a sigh.
"Why not? I thought they all loved him because he was their only brother?" I felt a tear drop onto my black tights. I'm not even aware of the fact I have tears rolling off my chin.
"They love him but not like how your Uncles do. Your Dad's gang loves him more than his own family." She whispered to me so Vanessa wouldn't hear.
I simply nodded my head and watched the casket start to be lowered down. I watched everyone toss down a black rose, a red rose, and a white rose. Before taking a step back.
I saw how they wanted to cry. They wanted to show their true emotion to losing their brother but they wouldn't. They wanted to be strong for Dad like how he was strong for them.
He was completely lowered down and they started to walk over towards us.
"That's it." Sage said. "He's officially resting in peace."
"It doesn't feel real. I'm waiting for him to jump out of that hole." Uncle Varo said as he continued to look at the hole.
"Me too Varo." Uncle Arlie said. "This is why this life is a terrible life to live. We boast about it when things are good but then this happens and it makes me wish we never got involved in this. I wish that night he and I weren't chased down and jumped in."
"I bet you he's laughing at all of us right now. Kicking back with his feet up, downing a bottle of henny, while we're down here mourning." Uncle Jay said.
"Lunch is gonna be at my house and you're all invited as always. I'll see you all later." Uncle Lexis said dapping everyone. "I'm so sorry you two. Just know your Dad is living the easy life now." He said kissing my forehead then Vanessa's.
I hope Dad is. He deserves to rest in peace.
~Lexis P.O.V.~
"So what's the deal with the girls?" I asked Arlie as we headed back to my car.
"Since Isabella is older than 11 she can choose whatever household. However, Vanessa is under 11 and they have to be together, they can't be split up. So wherever Vanessa goes, that's where Isabella has to follow till she's 18." He said.
"Court is gonna try direct family first huh?" He nodded. "That's bullshit. So if Vanessa was 11, they could have been with us?" He nodded again. "I hate custody shit."
"Same, I get a feeling Javier's parents are gonna take 'em. So at least the girls will be in Oakland still and you already know Isabella is just gonna run off and be with Tavian. Luckily for us Nicole is with Tavian's cousin, so Isabella will still be part of the pot luck of children. Vanessa not so much but I'm sure Javier's Mom will let Vanessa still be around us."
"I hope so." I said pulling out of the cemetery and heading home.
"What did you do with his bandana?"
"It's framed and gonna be hung up at the trap. It's got his name encrusted into the frame." That was Nelle Bells and Sweets idea.
"Oh, that's chill. I'm surprised we all managed to stay strong and not break down."
"I am too. I'm sure he would have risen from the grave to beat all of our asses for shedding tears over him." I laughed a little.
"Right? Varo is handling it better than I expected."
"For now. He and Sweets are gonna go to Eddy's grave before coming over. Why didn't you visit Heather's?"
"If I went to her grave, I would have broken down. I love Amber in a completely different way than I how I loved Heather and that love for Heather is still there, I don't feel like seeing her grave for a while." He said reclining his seat back a little more.
~2 Weeks Later~
~Breezy P.O.V.~
"M.C. You're really packin' on them pounds." I laughed as he was eating out of my chip bag.
Lolo walks in with a damn cow.
"Look!" She squealed when she closed the door and carried it to the living room. "It's a baby mini cow!"
M.C. Looked up at me like as if I was replacing him and I swear I felt my heart split.
"Lolo what he fuck?! You can't keep bovine in this house!" But it was cute.
"You get to have a dwarf goat, I want a genetically altered cow." She said placing her hand on her hips. "Wait till his horns come in, he's gonna look so cute."
"No. Lolo get it out of here. It can't stay here, we don't own a farm." What the fuck.
"But you get to keep M.C.? That's not fair."
"My house-"
"Our."
"Do you pay bills?" She shook her head. "Get it out before I decide to put veal on the menu tonight." I said pointing to the front door. "Get a dog or cat, not a damn cow. Especially since it's gonna grow up to be a mini bull, it could kill M.C. Or some shit." She groaned but ended up walking back out of the house.
"I got'chu buddy." I held out my fist and he head butted it. "I'm bored as fuck." I whined. He just continued to dig himself deeper into the Lays family size bag and plop on his belly as he ate. His little tail was wagging around and I just laughed.
My phone started ringing and it was Mama.
"What in all the hot that is in hot damn do you need woman?" I said.
"Why did Bonnie Anderson's Mom call, telling me about some 'That Breezy Affect'?" Oh shit.
"Mama it's just best we drop this subject. She got the affect, like sophomore year and I guess it still hasn't worn off of her yet." Dammit Bonnie.
"What did you do?!"
"Dicked her down. I gotta go, I'm drowning. Bye Mama!" I hung up the phone and set it on the arm rest. "Be glad your Mama can't call you M.C." All I could hear was him crunching on chips and rustling of the bag.
***
I wanted to kick it with Trey but he was on a double date with DeShawn, Lolo and Brie. So that left me wandering the streets to find something to do.
That something to do led me back home with Chelsea because she was down to kick it with me. We haven't actually hung out or talked since that day I was washing my car.
"Why do we always come back here?" She asked.
"Because my house is fuckin' amazing." It really is. It's lasted through 56 World Wars because of Lolo and I's arguments, that's how you know you got a good house. "Not to mention my bed is hella beast." We actually were gonna go hot tubbing in the hot tub on my balcony, right outside my room. I finally noticed it like 4 days ago and it's so sick.
She was in her bikini and I was in whatever the fuck I felt like being in, just chillin' in the hot tub. It was a colder night so this shit felt amazing.
"Your bed is really comfy." She smiled.
"Damn straight it is. So what you been up to these past 2 or so weeks?" We were sitting next to each other and I had my arm around her.
"I just kind of hung around, not much. What about you?" She didn't need to know about the whole funeral.
"I just kicked it with my niggas. Nitty and I hung out a few days ago. Lolo is of course annoying me out of every house and home." I need to pull a prank on Lolo. I don't know what but I'ma ask Lexis for ideas.
"Sounds like you had fun. I missed hanging with you though."
"Really? Why's that?" I pulled her onto my lap and she turned around so she was straddling me.
"Just because, I missed that gentle side of you. Which I never knew you had." She said looking down directly into my eyes.
"Why would you think I wasn't gentle?"
"Because you're you." She laughed. "I thought you were just an asshole who plays all day but you proved me wrong. You have an extremely gentle side that I love." She said caressing my cheek.
"Glad to know you like my gentle side. Females don't usually get to see it, so consider yourself lucky." Breezy Affect + Gentle Side Of Me = Pleasure. That's how it gets broken down. I know how to work a female too good which is why females love being with me. "Come here." I said standing up and hopping out of the hot tub. She followed me back to my room and we dried off, changed into something more comfortable, one of my shirts for her and just sweats for me-
I love sweats. They are the most comfortable item of clothing ever. You look like a G no matter what shoes you wear with 'em, as long as they're sagging. You can wear a shirt or not and you still look like a boss because you have sweats on.
-and we climbed onto my bed.
"You wanna spend the night here?" I asked. I didn't want to walk or drive her home this late, so my lazy self could just lay around.
"You sure that's alright?"
"If you wanna spend the night, gon' right ahead. You're already in my shirt and on my bed, you might as well just stay the night." She smiled and nodded her head.
"Chris?" She asked. I turned off one of the lights 'cause it was bright as fuck in the room.
"What?"
"Can I have a kiss?" I didn't say anything I just pulled her to me till our lips met.
Remember my pure happiness? It was coming right back.