Chapter's song: Ariana Grande - thank u, next
The morning's cool air nipped my skin as I leaned on my knees trying to regain my breath. My cheeks were flushed as I took a moment to admire the usual scenery. I couldn't stop thinking about him. And the way he made me feel every time our skin made contact or the unusual butterflies I felt as he had grabbed my hand. Passing a hand across my face completely discouraged, I sprinted towards my house.
I liked Nathan. A lot, actually. It was unnerving, to say the least.
It was the first time I felt like this for anyone. Sure, I'd had crushes and I liked boys.
Just not like this.
Never like this.
When I was playing around with Tom, well there had been something, all right. I mean, the guy was cute, so I'd been attracted to him enough to kiss him. Several times. But even if that felt good, it never felt like this. And he had just held my hand!
I shouldn't feel like this for him. I mean, I barely knew the guy.
Nathan had always been the lonely kind. Other than Jay or Chris, he didn't have any other friends. I'd never heard him having a girlfriend or such. He was always such a mystery.
So, how could I feel like this? Completely annoyed at myself, I walked inside my house sulking. Dad was leaning on the stair's rail with his arms crossed on his chest.
He didn't look happy. Shit.
Nate had gotten me home after midnight. I had texted Dad that I'd be late. But I guess we were pretty late since he'd been asleep when I got home.
Heaving a sigh, I rubbed the back of my neck. "I'm sorry, Dad."
"You were really late, Cassandra." I grimaced. He never called me on my full name. Only when he was really mad at me or something. Like right now.
"Where were you last night?"
Stammering, I scrunched my nose. "We had dinner and lost track of time?" my voice tone was higher as I grimaced.
"Who were you with? That Nathan guy?" I bit my lip and nodded. "Didn't I tell you that I wanted to meet him?"
"It was pretty late. He didn't even leave his car. He just dropped me off."
Dad's blue eyes narrowed. "He did. He opened the door for you, didn't he?" I blinked at him with my mouth open. I hadn't noticed that he was still awake when we got home last night. As if he was reading my mind, he pressed on, "My daughter was out with who knows who. I had to make sure that you got home in one piece."
I didn't know what to say to that, so I simply apologized again, "Sorry, Dad."
"You're inviting him for dinner tonight."
"What? No." My eyes widened in panic. "I'm sure he has things to do. I can't just tell him that he has to come here tonight." I gestured with my hands, "It's not polite."
"That's not my problem" he walked to the kitchen as I followed him panicking.
"When you invite someone over, you have to ask first!" I exclaimed appalled.
Dad started to rummage through the fridge taking out ham, cheese and bread. "You should have thought about it before you went out with him." He peeked his head out before resuming his search.
"We're not dating!" I said aghast as I grabbed the bread out of one of the cabinets and placed it on the table.
"Thanks" he smiled before closing the fridge's door. I took out two plates as Dad started to make our breakfast.
"Dad."
Pointing at me with a knife full of mayonnaise, he stated "you like him." What the hell?
I gaped at him. Dad smiled triumphantly, "while you figure it out" he continued making the sandwiches, "I want to meet the guy that seems to be with my daughter all the time, ok?" I rolled my eyes and huffed while crossing my arms. "If he had time for you yesterday, I'm sure he'll have time today" his blue eyes watched me sternly. He placed the finished sandwich on my plate and slid it towards me. "Now, eat up, kiddo."
Scowling, I slumped on my chair and had breakfast while Dad smirked.
After washing the dishes, I ran upstairs and took the fastest shower. Arguing with Dad had made me late for school. And now I was stressing about inviting Nathan over but more importantly, was I that obvious?
Even my father noticed that I had feelings for him! Did Nathan know?
How was I supposed to ask him to come over tonight? Without being so obvious, of course.
Grabbing a pair of washed denim jeans and a green t-shirt, I dressed up quickly. I braided my hair before putting on my shoes and a white hoodie. As I locked the front door, Dad's beeping horn made me jump.
"Come on! Climb in!" he hurried me as I rolled my eyes. What was going on with Dad today?
He drove to school smirking all the way as I sulked beside him. We got to school on time and before I stepped out of the car, he reminded me to tell Nathan about dinner tonight. Cringing, I sighed as I closed his door and waved at him.
Walking to my locker, I kept thinking about it. How obvious was I?
The worst part was that I had Math first thing in the morning. So that meant that I was bound to see him in a few minutes.
My heart fluttered. Oh, for Christ's sake! I really wanted to slap myself.
Math's classroom was almost empty as I walked in. I breathed out exhausted already. Reaching my seat, I slumped on my chair and laid on my desk as I stared out the window. Someone entered the room and my head snapped towards the noise while my heart started to race. Anne walked inside the room as I breathed out relieved. Her steps faltered as she saw me. She left her backpack on her desk and slowly approached me.
I sat up as she took a seat in front of me. Her green eyes gazed at me for a moment before she turned to the side. She seemed apprehensive. Her right hand was playing with the hem of her grey sweater.
"Anne?"
She sighed. "I'm sorry, too." She turned to look at me and her eyes seemed troubled. "It was easier to feel like a victim when I pulled apart too."
Looking down, I murmured "you don't need to apologize."
Anne shook her head, "No." Her eyes looked ashamed, "it wasn't only you." Her lips formed a sad smile before she got up and walked to her seat. My eyes followed her every move as I swallowed hard.
She was wrong, though. It was me who pulled away. It was me who closed on her. On everyone.
My fingers traced one of my scars as someone bumped on my chair. My heart skipped a beat as I heard Nathan's voice behind me "Hey" he grabbed my shoulder making me turn to look at him. "Did you get in trouble?" his grey eyes surveyed me for a moment before tilting his head. "That bad, huh?"
I shook my head in silence. The teacher arrived at that moment and I gladly turned to the front of the room. My eyes turned towards the red-head on the front, who was dutifully taking notes at every word the teacher said. I rubbed my eyes with the palm of my hand completely exhausted.
Sometimes I felt so much better but there were times where I felt like the world was closing in on me. The worst part was that it didn't take much to crash my world. Breathing out, I grabbed my pencil and started to mindlessly copy whatever was written on the board.
"Cassie" Nathan whispered behind me. Inconspicuously, I leaned back on my chair and tilted my head, gesturing him to keep going. "I'm sorry I got you in trouble with your father. Are you ok?"
Somewhat confused, I turned to him. "How do you know that?"
Nate snickered while shaking his head, "you really need to pay attention." I frowned as he kept on, "he was watching us from the second's floor window. I saw him when you waved at me."
"Ms. Rivers!" Mr. Brown admonished me, "is the class too boring for you?"
Flushing, I shook my head, "Sorry."
"Next time, you'll both get detention, got it?" I nodded embarrassed while everyone's eyes were on us.
Anne gazed at me and a small smile drew on her face. It was somehow reassuring among the other's curious stares. Swallowing hard, I grabbed my pencil and kept quiet the rest of the class, ignoring Nate completely.
I didn't, however, paid attention to class, too preoccupied on everything and anything. So, when Mr. Brown announced the homework, I kind of panicked because the board just seemed like a huge mess of numbers and letters and I had no idea how they worked together. Even though I had the same scribble on my notebook.
Shoving everything back to my backpack, I turned around to find Nathan already at the door talking to Chris.
Dreading the fact that I had to tell him about dinner, I thought about not telling him at all and lying to Dad but I didn't want to screw things up with him, so I swallowed hard and followed them. "Nate!" I called him on the hallway before he disappeared on me. I reached him and greeted Chris, who was smirking right next to him. "Hey" I shrugged after waving at Chris.
His friend patted Nathan on the back. "We'll catch up later, dude." He smiled at me before walking away.
"I thought you were mad at me," he frowned as his grey eyes bored into me.
"No, I had to," I hesitated, "pay attention." I shrugged before biting my lip.
"You didn't get it, did you?" he asked knowingly with a smugly smile on his face. I shook my head somewhat embarrassed. He chuckled, "so, what happened with your father?"
I swallowed hard, "he wants to meet you." I closed one eye scrunching my nose expecting an appalled reaction from him. This was, after all, pretty messed up and embarrassing as hell.
"Ok" he responded unfazed.
I stared at him dumbfounded for a moment. My heart fluttered as I gnawed on my lip, "is tonight all right?" I asked holding my breath, cringing inwardly.
Nathan gazed at me for a moment and shrugged. "That works. We could also do the homework since you're clearly not so advanced in Math" he teased me. I blinked at him completely surprised at his lack of reaction. "I'll see you later, then." He added as if nothing happened and smiled at me making the butterflies in my stomach flutter like crazy. I watched him walk away as I couldn't move my feet.
He was coming for dinner tonight. And he didn't seem to mind.
That was as amazing as worrying.
Bewildered, I frowned as my feet finally regained movement and walked to my next class.
At lunch, when I told Farah about it, she almost chocked on her cheese burger. I patted her on the back as she opened her bottle of water to take a sip.
"You asked him to meet your father!" she blurted out when she finally got back her voice. "It was Dad's doing." I stared at my apple for a moment.
"And he said yes?" she gestured with her hands, "Just like that?"
I shrugged. "He doesn't seem to mind" I scrunched my nose.
Farah laughed. "He does!"
"How do you know?" I tilted my head watching her curiously.
She smiled smugly. "I know stuff" she shrugged.
I narrowed my eyes at her. "What kind of stuff?"
She dismissed me. "Whatever. It doesn't take a genius to know that the guy is head over heels for you!"
Completely surprised at her words, I murmured, "he's not."
Farah rolled her eyes. "Everyone but you." She raised an eyebrow.
"He's not even-there was no reaction. None" I gestured with my hands. "Zero. Nada."
My friend's blue eyes shone. "I'm sure he's freaking out with Chris and Jay. Actually, I'd bet on it."
I shrugged. "I don't think so."
Farah watched me for a moment before beaming at me. "You so like him!" I chewed on my apple as she fussed over. "Oh. My. God! We could double date! How awesome could that be?"
Embarrassed, I gazed all around, "it's not like that. I'm not sure he even likes me like that."
"Oh. He does," she smiled at me. "Trust me!"
Sighing, I rubbed a palm on my face, completely discouraged, "Please don't say anything."
"Of course!" she placed a hand on her chest, mocking being hurt. Then, she leaned closer to me, "so tell me, do you think about him all the time?"
God. I was not going to hear the end of it.
Sorry for taking forever to post this!!