"Hey! Hey, you alright?" Nate came hurrying up to me after creative writing class. "You were upset in there," he said, gesturing to the classroom's open door.
"Fine," I said, my throat still tight from crying. At least I didn't sound stuffed up anymore.
"C'mere," he said, pulling me in closer. I allowed to draw me in closer. "It's just writing," he said. "Did you get a little emotional?"
I nodded and he released me, holding on to both my shoulders and staring into my eyes. His were so blue. So, so blue.
"I'm fine," I said, mustering what probably looked like a pathetic excuse for a smile.
"You sure?"
"Yeah," I told him earnestly. I wasn't sure why l got so emotional in class, I'm not a very creative writer. Seriously. I'm fine. Yeah, a little voice in my head said. If 'fine' stands for F-fucked up, I- insecure, N-neurotic and E-emotional. Then yeah, you're fine.
I cursed the little voice in my head and continued walking down the hall, breaking away from Nate. School was done now, and I needed to escape these hallways. I couldn't think straight, couldn't breathe. There was no air in the hallways for me to breathe, and no water to breathe either. It felt like there was nothing. Nothing to see, no one to be with, nothing to touch, nothing.
I burst outside into the parking lot, desperate for some sunshine and air to cleanse my brain and get all of these tangled thoughts out of my head. They were all intertwined like a big bowl of spaghetti. Have you ever tried to untangle spaghetti? It's impossible, and so was extracting a single thought.
So I ran.
I saw Nate gesturing to his car, and Aidan waving to me from his truck, even Paisley pointing to her Subaru. I kept running, my bag thudding against my back. The ever present breeze tousled my dark chestnut hair and stung my eyes as I fought to keep them open to see. Even with my eyes open, I really couldn't see anything. I wasn't paying attention.
I was out of the parking lot and half way to my house already. I heard the rhythmic thud of my feet against the pavement. I bent down, still running, and pulled my ballet flats of my feet and ran with them in my hand. My heart thud gently and my hair whipped wildly in the wind. The cloudless sky was blue and bold.
My house was a short distance away. I could see the golden sun pouring on the brown shingled roof. I saw the beige cedar shake siding and the turquoise front door with the white shutters. I pushed myself to run faster, and I tossed my brown leather bag and shoes onto the turquoise painted porch, never stopping to get a drink. I was running barefoot to the sea. I could feel small grains of sand working their way, one at a time, in between my toes. As I drew closer to my beach, my feet were squishing in sand.
There were maybe four families on the beach, but I didn't care. I ignored them, my feet digging into the sand, making their way mindlessly to the dock. The damp wood felt breakable beneath my feet, as though I was about to fall through into the sand.
At the end of the dock, I didn't hesitate to dive straight in. I could feel the families watching me as I submerged myself in sea water. I waited under, in a crouching position, then sprung like a leapfrog as far away from the sand bar as possible. Then I turned to water, feeling boiling hot. Seconds later, I had a tail, and the ice cold tingles were beginning to fade. The water was still only four feet deep, but I kept to the bottom, running my fingers through the sand as the sun got farther away. I looked up to see it blurry and swaying side to side, shining yellow through the mint green waters.
I was about seven feet deep now, the water a pure, royal blue. No people were allowed out this far, but I kept pushing on. I had no time to stop and think yet, I needed to get to my coral reef. As I swam slowly, I felt the ocean water course over every strand of hair on my head, separating them into thick strands. The water pushed into my eyes, but I kept going. I moved my hips up and down, my tail plowing through the water, treading water with my hands, bobbing my head up and down. I felt the current stop pulling me to shore. Instead, it helped me out to sea.
At about twenty feet deep, I settled down and stopped short. I was upright, and my auburn hair billowed in wispy little clouds around my face, looking a maroon shade. The strands floated in all directions, and it was a moment of peace.
I settled down to the bottom, lying down in the sand and looking up through the navy water at a shining spot that was the sun. In the depths of the water was chillingly cold, but if you swam up the warmth would rush over you. I sighed and decided to untangle the spaghetti.
I couldn't pick one, that I knew. Not now, I was too confused. Do they both like me, or are they leading me on? I couldn't think. So I screamed.
It was high pitched, and the sound waves left me in all directions. I screamed again, louder and lower. The last time, the noise faded away mid scream and I gave up. I just laid there, the sand working its way to my scalp, rocks the size of my pinkie nail underneath my back, and one-half of a clam shell clutched in my left hand. I threw it into the area. It was entirely blank; just tan sand and blue water all the way around. No sign of fish or anything. But l liked it, I needed a moment to myself, and this was it.
I let the tears flow. They didn't roll down my face, but rather floated off to join the rest of the salt water. I re-adjusted my bikini top and rolled over onto my stomach. Just this once I wanted legs to curl up into a fetal position and sob, let it all out. But I couldn't, so I wiped my eyes through the wetness and sucked it up.
My dark hair billowed around my face again as I sat up. It floated upwards as I sat, just staring at the surface. The water was lighter up there, and it was trembling too. It also made the setting sun tremble.I'd been down there a long time and hadn't even realized it. I watched until I was cloaked in darkness. Yeah, I'm fine. Fucked up, insecure, neurotic and emotional. Perfectly fine.
I swam to the surface and let my head break through. My tail swished under me, keeping my head and shoulders above the water. I was out so far, there were no waves. I saw a little sailboat in the distance. I eagerly swam towards it, to get my mind off of...them.
On the boat, I saw an elderly couple and a young girl, maybe four. The old people were sharing a meal of some sort, it was around seven. The little girl was staring right at me, her blonde hair in two braids. She just looked at me from fifteen feet away. I smiled and waved, then dove under the sea, sure to let my tail splash in her view. I could see the boat underwater; so, naturally, I swam towards it. I could hear Nemo's friends in my mind; "go touch the butt!" Well, I was. I stayed four feet under, watching as the little girl pointed her finger towards where I just was. I could hear the grandfather's muffled laughter and the gramma's reassurance that there was definitely Ariel there. I smiled, stuck my head up, blew a kiss to the blonde girl, admired her porcelain skin for one second, and then dove under and swam like a speeding bullet back to the dock.
I dragged myself onto the really wet sand, waves lapping at the tip of my shining bronze tail, the scales glittering as the orange full moon floated ominously over the ocean. There was no one on the beach, so I clawed the sand and pulled myself up the beach to the very top. Of course, I had no towel, so I brushed the water droplets of my tail and threw some sand on it, hoping the grains of sand would absorb the ocean water.
As I waited for legs, I watched the moon's shimmering orange reflection spread across the water. It shook and trembled as the waves crashed against the shore. There was a chilling breeze sending shivers down my spine. The salty air was thick and cold, and the sand seemed wet even though it was bone dry. One more gust of the wind and my tail disappeared in a light cloud of golden glitter.
Nate was there on the edge of the dock, waiting for me. "You wanted to talk?"
I nodded. "Sorry I ran, I just had to clear my head. Anyway, about Aidan." Nate scowled at his name. "I overheard him on the phone a few days ago. He was talking to his boss about me, about doing something with me, and I flipped out. So I went with him today in search of more information, and in the woods he told me he worked at a shooting range. Which, obviously was a lie, but it was too thinly veiled to mean anything other than him trying to hunt me or kill me or something. Anyway, I lost a bet with him, and I have to go on a date with him later. Friday. And I'm really sorry, and I don't want too. He's dangerous and after me, and I figured the best way to get information is to stay close."
Nate processed it quietly, his hand running up and down my thigh. "I'm...so sorry I've been a jerk lately, I had no idea. If he tries anything, supernatural or not, call me. I'll come get you, I'll save you, I--"
"I don't need saving, Nate." I glanced up, catching his hurt expression by its tail. "But thanks. I'll call you if I'm in trouble." He nodded as the sun set, and we sat there with our hands clasped. "If it helps, I'm much more excited for Saturday." I let out a shaky laugh, which he echoed as he pressed a kiss to my cheek. At the last second, I turned until our lips met, hot and starving and soaked in moonlight as the last drops of the sun disappeared.
We parted, little grains of sand on his lips and for sure on mine. His lips lifted into a little smile, and it made my whole body warm. I almost forgot about the dormant tail and the murderous high schooler.
"I'll see you tomorrow, Nate." He just smiled and shook his hair, watching the waves lap the shore desperately.
I stood up shakily and brushed the sand off my legs, shaking my slightly damp hair. The moon's reflection on the lonely, open ocean shook once as if to say goodbye. I turned my back on it and walked home silently.
Walking into my beige and red living room, my mother was right in front of me with her hands on her hips. I bit my lip as she pursed hers, and I stared at my still sandy feet.
"Where were you, young lady?" My mother took one look at my hair. "Were you in the ocean? You know you aren't allowed to swim when its night time!"
"I was at Nate's house," I lied through my teeth. "We went swimming in his pool." I grabbed the end of a strand of hair, then ducked past my mother to the staircase. I grabbed my backpack while running, thankful my school had a ban on homework. Something about it taking away from our time with extra curricular activities. As long as I had no work to do, l was fine.
I pulled my phone out, staring at the screen. 6 missed messages.
Paisley (2)-
Hey Ash! Wanna hang l8r?
U there? u disappeared after school
call me!!!!
Aidan (3)-
Hey, angelfish ;)
What's up?
Text me later.
I sighed and looked up from the bright screen. Choosing wasn't going to be easy, was it. I frowned and tossed my phone onto the rug, collapsing onto the bed. I saw a slice of the moon throw the lacy curtains hanging from my window.