Okurrr.. I'm defo not crying writing this or anything🤧
Also double update finally!
Chapter 86
Amy's POV
"I'm taking the Stanford offer" I state, as he steps back from me. Part of me wanted to pull him back close but I knew I couldn't. We weren't together.
"What? But I thought-" he stops himself looking down away from me clearly confused.
"I didn't-" He sighs cutting himself off as he glances up at me.
"I Uh-" he clears his throat looking away from me for a second.
"I- That's Uh, that's great" he sighs looking up at me briefly smiling. I couldn't read the emotion on his face or lack there of.
"Yeah" Was all I could say before we found ourselves just staring at one another. It was like everything around us just stopped. No music. No people. No background noise. No flashing lights or people fighting around us. It was just us. Just us and no one else as we stared at one another. I felt like my whole body was just aching looking at him. All my emotions that I had been hiding were coming to the surface and I didn't want them to. I had done so well to push them away. Ignore them. But now just looking at him made me second guess all of it.
"What? Why are looking at me like that?" I frown looking away from him feeling like a school girl who's talking to her crush for the first time. Something had shifted between us. Not the fact that we physically weren't together, more something emotionally. I just couldn't figure out what.
"Oh- Uh I wasn't! I just-" He cuts himself off clearing his throat awkwardly as he steps further back from me. He was nervous, I could just tell. But so was I, I was never nervous around Harry or embarrassed or shy but right now I was and clearly so was he.
"Can I take you home?" He breathes out throwing me completely off guard.
"What?" I gape at him.
"I don't want to leave you here, so can I take you home?" He presses looking at me with intent.
"I'm staying at Stefan's" I state and he narrows his eyes at me immediately.
"No your not-"
"Excuse me?" I cut him off raising a brow at him in shock. Was he serious?
"Your not going back there- no fucking way" he spits angrily as he grabs my arm noticing me trying to slip away from him. He made me so angry.
"Oh sorry I didn't know I needed your permission, Daddy" I spit angrily causing him to laugh lightly for a second before I realised what I had just said. Awkward.
"As much as that may or may not have turned me on, I'm not letting you go back there, he's a fucking low life-" He shakes his head pushing the smirk off his face as i cut him off.
"You don't even know him" I spit pulling my arm back out of his grasp.
"I've heard things" he shrugs and I raise my brow at him.
"Yeah?" I fold my arms over my chest defensively.
"Oh yeah" he fires back glaring at me before folding his arms over his chest mocking me. I go to move past him but he immediately stops me.
"Can you just please come with me-"
"No, I'm having fun thank you" I spit at him causing him to clench his jaw in frustration.
"Fine then just tell me what you've taken?" He steps in front of me causing me to roll my eyes.
"I know you- and I know this isn't you right now" he sighs backing me up against the wall slightly.
"Really? Because I thought I knew you but clearly I was wrong" I snap harshly at him pushing him out of my way to go past.
"Don't-" he grabs my arm stopping me.
"What is your problem? Why can't you just let me get over you-" I yell at him in frustration only for him to cut me off.
"What have you taken?" He spits through gritted teeth as he pulls me into him.
"Fucking leave me alone!" I push him off me in anger causing him to sigh running his hands over his face as he groans in frustration.
"Amy I swear to you-" he huffs as I spin around walking away from him.
"I don't have to answer to-" I stop as I feel myself being thrown over his shoulder with ease.
"Hey-" I squeal as I tossed onto his shoulder like a bag of feathers.
"Harry put me down!" I yell as I hit him on the back before he starts to walk through the crowd of people filling the house.
"You could of come willingly, but it's never that easy with you is it?" He yells over the music just as I see Niall stood by the door we were coming from with Damon and Louis as they start to laugh at the two of us. I wanted to kill all of them. I couldn't even believe this was happening to me.
"This is kidnapping" I yell at him as we reach the front garden.
"Shut up" he huffs just as I see his keys sticking out the back pocket of his jeans. It gave me an idea.
Within seconds I had pulled the keys from his pocket holding them above my head as he gasps in shock.
"Hey- Give me them back" he says as he places me on the ground just next to his car making me laugh.
"How stupid are you to keep your keys in your back pocket? Your just asking to be robbed" I laugh rolling my eyes as I lean against his car with a cocky look on my face.
"Very funny- now give them back" he goes to grab them but I put my arm out stopping him instantly.
"No" I push him back and he sighs.
"Babe seriously-"
"Harry I never said I wanted to go home" I frown looking at him in annoyance.
"You think I'm honestly going to leave you there? Not a fucking chance, besides it three in the morning-"
"So what? What if I want to have more fun?" I challenge him and he laugh in disbelief at me.
"You mean more drugs?" He spits angrily and I pause looking at him in shock.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" He snaps at me looking at me in disgust almost.
"Me? I think you know what the fuck is wrong with me Harry! Don't act like can just swoop in here acting like the hero- because I'm not buying it" I yell at him and he just stares blankly at me.
"You've had so many opportunities to speak to me all week and you've chose not to, so why now? Why all the sudden are you interested in my life-"
"Niall told me about the drugs in your locker" he cuts me off and I stop. He stares for a second as my gaze falls to the ground. I didn't know Niall knew about that.
"I knew you would be here tonight, so that's why I came" he sighs and I don't dare to look at him. I knew he would be disappointed in me for doing what I did but also owning my own was probably what would piss him off even more.
"I wanted to talk, but with you being back on all that shit, is there any point?" He frowns shaking his head as I glance up at him.
"You wanted to talk?" I mutter in shock.
"Yeah- I knew when you walked out of lunch today, you were pretty upset I just- I didn't want to hurt you anymore by going after you and leading you on-"
"So instead you follow me to a house party?" I cut him off looking at him in confusion.
"I just- I don't know what I was thinking" he shakes his head looking away from me as I stare at him.
"Can we please just talk at home?" He looks to me and I frown.
"I'll make us some toast and tea?" He says with a short smile as he steps closer to me.
"I don't want to talk" I fold my arms over my chest stubbornly also hiding the keys from him.
"Fine- no talking" he puts his hands up trying to reason with me.
"Just- sit and just drink tea and eat some toast okay?" He eyes me carefully making me roll my eyes still not giving in.
"I'm not going without knowing your safe and at home" he sighs when he realises how stubborn I was being.
"And if I say no?" I challenge looking at him with a glare.
"Well then I'll have to child lock the car doors won't I?" He says playfully and I can't help but roll my eyes. I think abut his offer for a second. I was so mad at him and hurt and god knows what else but at the same time maybe a lift home and food and tea was worth having to spend time with him? And maybe part of me actually wanted some answers from him.
"You better not even look at me Styles, or I will jump out" I roll my eyes throwing him the keys after unlocking the car myself.
"Child lock it is then"
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Harry brought me my tea and toast without a word. He turned the lamps on for me in my bedroom without a word. It was weird to be around him after not even speaking to him for so long. I felt so many emotions towards him but I couldn't even put them into words.
As of right now I was sipping the hot tea without a word. Once I realised it was too hot I placed it down just as Harry sat on the other side of my bed. I didn't ask him to stay but clearly he wasn't planning on leaving anytime soon. I jump up off the bed reaching for the zip on my leather red skirt that clung to my hips. The zip started at the top of the skirt and went down to the hem, I loved it but it was a pain in the ass to get off because of how stiff the zip was. I struggle with the zip for a few seconds before a shadow blocks out my light.
"Here" I look up to see Harry now stood in front of me pushing my hands out of the way to get to the zip. He slowly pulls the zip down his finger dragging down my stomach slowly making me tingle in all places I shouldn't right now. I gasp lightly when his finger brushes over my lace underwear making him smile slightly but I pretend I don't notice.
"Thank you" I mutter as he pulls away letting the skirt fall to the floor around me.
"Your welcome" he smiles shortly at me before sitting back on the bed.
"You can go if you want, you don't have to baby sit me" I tell him and he instantly looks hurt and a little taken back by my words.
"Oh- Uh do you want me to go?" He stutters and I frown looking away from him in confusion. Did I actually want him to go? I didn't know what I actually wanted?
"I mean I can- I just Uh.. I kinda think I owe you an explanation" he sighs and I look up at him in surprise that he actually wanted to talk.
"Harry-"
"No I need to tell you" he insists and I shake my head.
"Not right now-"
"It's my Dad" he cuts me off and I frown not following.
"My Dad is ill- Cancer actually" he lays back on the bed just as my heart drops at his words. What? His Dad was sick?
"My Mum is having a hard time with it all even though they aren't together anymore, she still cares about him-"
"Why didn't you just tell me?" I walk over to him as he looks up at the ceiling not even giving me a second glance.
"I-I didn't want to-" he stops shaking his head as I look over him climbing onto the bed beside him.
"I didn't want to drag you into it" He sighs as he covers his face with his hands for a second making my heart ache for him.
"It's a mess- Robin and My Mum are fighting, Gemma and her husband are fighting, my Dad is acting like he's fine when he's not and I'm just a million miles away not being able to help any of them" he exhales as I notice his eyes looking teary making me want to cry. He was going through this all on his own because he didn't want to drag me into his family drama. I didn't deserve this man at all.
"I'm so sorry Harry, I didn't know-"
"It's not your fault" he sighs as I place my hand over his as he rests them on his chest.
"When I went home for two weeks, that's when I found out about my Dad" he shakes his head clearly trying to put on a brave face. I wasn't buying it.
"That's why you didn't want to talk about your trip-"
"Yeah" He sighs.
"I nearly didn't come back, but I couldn't do that to you" He says as he looks up at me.
"My Mum and my friend Nick looked for apartments for me after they suggested it would be easier if I came home for a year or so..." he tells me and I look away for a second not knowing how to take wheat he was telling me.
"I didn't know what to do, if I even wanted to go or not- I just- I just knew one thing though" he sighs sitting up. His gaze meets my own as I feel his breath fan over my face.
"I knew I had you- I had you and you were keeping me distracted from all that shit back at home making it easier for me. Some days when I was with you I just totally got lost in our little world, I loved it" He laughs lightly shaking his head as he looks away from me.
"It kept me sane" he shrugs and I feel my heart melt.
"I could of helped you, if you just talked to me Harry" I cup his cheek in my hand catching his attention.
"I know" he sighs nodding, placing his hand over mine pulling it from his cheek placing it in between us lap, entwining our fingers together.
"I know I get it- I just- After finding out he wasn't going to get better the whole moving situation just got so real, I was getting calls, emails, texts and those letters all the time about different apartments and shit, my head was telling me one thing but my heart was saying another and I just couldn't take it" he explains and I feel everything sort of start to fall in place.
"You don't have to tell me-" I try to say but he cuts me off.
"Then when you found the letters, I just- I knew what I had to do" he sighs looking away from me almost ashamed.
"I pushed you away thinking it would be easier for you if you hated me, that's why I ignored you, that's why I acted like I didn't care, like I didn't want to talk to you-"
"Why would you do that?" I frown as I feel my heart ache for him.
"Because I would rather hurt myself than see you hurting because of me" he whispers as he looks up at me. God I was such a bitch compared to him. He was so selfless and put me before himself all the Fucking time and I couldn't even support him through this tough time in his life? I really didn't deserve him.
"Are you really that stupid?" I frown as I climb onto his lap, straddling his crotch causing him to frown in confusion.
"Wasn't really the reaction I was expecting-"
"We could of talked about it Harry, you should of told me the truth because god knows I could never hate you- you just hurt me even more by keeping the truth from me" I tell him as I brush one of my hands through his hair comfortingly, admiring the beautiful man sat under me.
"I didn't mean to-"
"I know you didn't mean to but that's the truth, you hurt me just by lying to me trying to protect me from yourself- when- when that isn't necessary" I laugh lightly in disbelief as he watches my lips move as I talk.
"If you would of told me I could of understood better from the start" I sigh pressing my forehead against his as I feel my head start to hurt causing me to close my eyes, taking a breather.
"But I hadn't made my decision" he whispers and I frown pulling back from him immediately.
"Harry there's no decision to make if your Dad is sick-" I shake my head narrowing my brows at him, not believing what he was implying.
"You need to go" I breathe out.
"What?" He frowns looking at me in shock. My eyes study his for a second thinking over what I had just said before sighing.
"Go.." I close my eyes as he wraps his arms around my waist.
"Be with your family, forget about me for a second and do what you need to do" I sigh as I press my forehead against his savouring every moment I had left with him.
"They need you more than I do right now, I won't stand in the way of that" I say as I cup his cheeks with both my hands.
"Amy-"
"No listen-" I sigh pulling back from him slightly. I open my eyes to see him staring back at me with watery eyes matching my own.
"Your Dad is priority, his health and you spending every last second you can with him before it's taken away from you. Your Mom needs you, your sister, Robin and your Dad more than ever and I won't let your feelings for me sway your decision and make you do something that you one day may regret. Your family is more important than anything Harry and your Dad may not be able to wait around for you but- I-I can.." I stutter trying to hold back the tears filling up my eyes.
"What?" He breathes out looking at me in confusion.
"I'll wait for you" I whisper to him as his nose brushes against my own.
"No" he sighs making me frown.
"No I will not let you do that-"
"Who said you had a choice?" I fire back at him as I run my hands through his hair.
"Harry, listen to me- I will not let you drop this opportunity, your Dad needs you and you need to be with your family right now" I tell him and he looks down making my heart ache.
"Hey look at me-" I nudge his head up causing him to sigh before his gaze meets my own again.
"But when the time is right, and when our paths cross again maybe- I'll be right here waiting for you" I tell him as he watches my every move intently.
"Because I love you" I sigh pressing my forehead against his as he shuts his eyes.
"And I can't just stop loving you, I don't think I ever will" I laugh lightly shaking my head against his. I felt like my whole world was coming down around me, but with Harry holding me, I felt safe.
"I can't ask you do that" he sighs shaking his head before opening his eyes to meet my own.
"Your not asking" I laugh lightly taking my bottom lip in between my teeth gently.
"I'm telling you" I say just as he looks away from me.
"But what about Stanford?" He sighs and I just shrug. What about it? It didn't have anything to do with this right now.
"Well maybe this is what God had planned for both of us? Maybe we have to go our separate ways to make our way back to each other the right way?" I laugh lightly and he frowns at me pulling back at slightly looking at me in amusement.
"Since when did you believe in God?" He smirks and I roll my eyes.
"Harry!" I groan as he laughs at me lightly. I would miss this.
"Sorry I just- your just not religious at all-"
"Can you just shut up?" I laugh lightly as he smirks at me holding me against him tighter.
"Stanford is a great opportunity for me and once you leave there's nothing keeping me here so I would be stupid to say no, you know?" I sigh and he looks away from me instantly. I frown as I watch him go quiet.
"Hey- What is it?" I take his chin in between my fingers causing him to look up at me.
"I don't want to loose you" He mutters and I feeling heart ache as his head falls into my neck pulling me tightly against him.
"Harry-" I whisper as I hold his against me letting my fingers run through his curls comfortingly.
"I can't make you wait for me. I can't be that selfish-" He mutters against my skin just before I cut him off.
"Your not, its my choice-"
"A choice I won't let you make- I want you to go to Stanford and not have to worry about me. You'll meet some great people there, and I don't want to stand in the way of that" he says as he pulls back from me looking at me with watery eyes. His forehead presses go mine as he exhales out closing his eyes taking a minute. In this moment, nothing else mattered but him.
"But I won't meet anyone like you" I whisper to him causing him to shake his head as his thumb draws circles on my bare hip. I had never felt anything like this- something so raw and real, I was taken back.
"Kiss me" I mutter to him as I tug on his curls slightly.
"Baby I-" he looks up at me with puffy eyes as a tear runs down his cheek making my heart sink.
"Harry please..." I beg as I wipe his tear with my thumb, my eyes searching his as he stares into my own.
Within seconds our slaty tears were mixed in with our sweet kisses.
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Questions
1- Did we like this chapter?
2- What do you think about Harry's Dad situation?
3- I cried writing this, did you reading it?
4- Do you think they needed this, little snippet of togetherness in this chapter?
5- What do you think about how Amy reacted to Harry's news?
6- Do you think they suit? Have chemistry? Or no? Should they both just leave it?
7- Do you think they are communicating better or not?
8- What do you think about Amy telling Harry she would wait for him?
9- Would you like a second book, or should I end it soon?
10- Do you think they should reconcile now or was it too early for them?
11- Who is more emotional in this chapter in your opinion? And why?